The Hardest Fall by Ella Maise

Chapter Nineteen

Zoe

“Hi,” I said as I answered my phone. If I sounded a little breathless, it had nothing to do with the fact that I was speed-walking—and occasionally hopping to avoid puddles—to the library to meet Kayla and Jared, and everything to do with who was on the other end of the line.

“Zoe.”

I had to close my eyes, not because the rain was picking up, but because of him, because of what he did to me. Was there anything better than hearing Dylan’s morning voice mumble my name on the phone? I didn’t think so—or maybe there was; hearing him mumble my name right against my ear would do it too. In fact, it would do it way better.

“You came home and didn’t wake me up,” he continued as I tried to recover from what his voice was doing to me. The previous night was still fresh in my mind, and I could still feel his body pressing against mine, how I eager I’d been.

The damn had broken.

“It was pretty late. You looked tired, so I didn’t want to wake you up.” I’d snuck by and tiptoed to my room after finding him asleep on the couch, but I had thrown a blanket on him…so that counted for something.

Knowing what would happen, what we’d end up doing if I did wake him up had prevented me from continuing where we’d left off.

You might call me a chicken; I call myself smart.

I didn’t want to have to lie to him—or depending on what you thought, I didn’t want to have to keep lying to him. I didn’t have a boyfriend; that was what I’d told him, and it was the truth. Sure, I was forcing it a little bit since I’d never had a boyfriend to begin with, but still, I didn’t have a boyfriend, and I would tell him the rest—really, I would. As I’d guessed, he thought I had something going on with Mark, and who could’ve blamed him for coming to that conclusion, for God’s sake? It was all on me, and I knew that.

So, in a few hours or so, depending on what Kayla wanted to talk about, I’d call Mark—or better yet, text him—not to ask permission, but just so he wasn’t blindsided completely in case Dylan said something to him about it. I’d given him Chris, had let him decide on the best time to tell him, but Dylan was mine. He wouldn’t have that. I wouldn’t let him decide when or how where Dylan was concerned.

There was also the fact that Chris was Dylan’s best friend, and thinking about that had kept me up all night. Would Dylan run and tell Chris who I was? He was his best friend—could I ask him to keep me a secret? Would he? Did I even have the right to ask him?

Needless to say, I had no answers.

But I had Dylan.

I had the ghost of his touch on my neck, on my skin, constantly driving me crazy, and I wanted more. I wanted pretty much everything from him.

“Zoe? Did you hear what I said?”

“Sorry. Can you, maybe, repeat that? My mind just wandered off.”

“Your mind just…” A long sigh. “Where are you? You’re not running away from what happened last night, are you?”

“No. In fact, I’m offended you’d think that.” I huffed out a breath. “I’m meeting Kayla at the library, and after that…well, I have no idea how long it will take—she just sent a text this morning and I’m not sure what’s going on, but she wasn’t good last night. I didn’t want to leave her, but her boyfriend got back pretty drunk with two of his friends so she sent me away. Something’s definitely up, and I think she might be breaking up with Keith, though it’s happened before and he’s always managed to win her back so I’m not so sure if this time will be any different, but then again—”

“Baby.” That raspy chuckle pretty much killed me. “Stop. You were saying, after that…”

Baby.Baby.Baby.

I halted and closed my eyes. Twice he’d called me that, and each time the butterflies in my stomach had taken flight.

I cleared my throat and started walking again. “I was saying what?”

Another low chuckle reached my ears and my heart warmed at the sound.

“You said you’re meeting Kayla at the library then you got off track after that part.”

Right.

“After that, I want to talk to you.” I heard a long sigh and then a door close.

“Yeah, talking. We need to do that.”

“Where are you?”

“A few minutes behind you, I’m guessing. Have you made it to the library yet? It’s raining, so be careful.”

I did a 360 and looked around. There were people running around trying to escape the rain, but that was it. It was Sunday, after all. “I’m not melting away, if that’s what you mean by be careful, but what do you mean a few minutes behind?”

“I’m meeting with Chris for a workout. If you’re not done with Kayla by the time we’re finished in the weight room, I’ll come find you at the library.”

The sooner, the better, I thought. Being out in public instead of in a private, confined space like the apartment where there were beds and couches and counters and semi-flat surfaces would help.

“Okay. Okay, that sounds good. I’m here so I should…let you go. Say hi to Chris from me? Or not. You don’t need to say that. I’m not sure why I said that, don’t say hi to Chris.”

The silence stretched and I face-palmed myself.

“I’ll tell him hi and I’ll see you soon. Don’t disappear on me.” A short pause. “I hope you’re ready to lose our bet today.”

With that, he hung up.

I would not be the one to lose the bet; he just didn’t know how stubborn I was yet.

I shook off my umbrella and texted Mark as I walked into the library.

Me:I have to tell Dylan. I’m going to tell him. I don’t care what you say.

As soon as I heard the swoosh sound that indicated the message had been sent, I turned my phone off. I knew he’d call the first chance he got, and I didn’t want to argue with him or let him scare me off.

Despite knowing that Mark would lose it, I still managed to hold my smile until I found my friend at the very back of the library, in a study room separated from the main sitting area.

* * *

As soon asI saw the state Kayla was in, I ran to her side and sat my ass down on the chair next to her. “What happened?” When she kept staring at her hands on the table, I covered them with my own. “You have to tell me what’s going on Kayla. Look at you.”

She raised her head, and I studied my friend’s red, puffy eyes as fresh tears ran down her cheeks.

“Kayla?”

“Thank you for coming so quickly.”

“Of course, but…what’s wrong, KayKay?”

“I think I need help, Zoe.”

I pulled her shaky hands off the table and held on tight. “What happened?” Will she finally say something? Tell us what’s going on? “Do you want to wait for Jared?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t call him. I’m not sure I can say this to him.”

“Okay, you’re officially scaring me. Say what?”

“Look at me,” she hissed angrily, yanking her hands from my hold and wiping her cheeks. “I can’t even say it to you. How am I supposed to say it to other people?” Her anger disappeared in a heartbeat and her eyes stayed fixed on the table as the tears picked up speed. With my now empty right hand, I brushed off the new tears and looked around us.

Since it was Sunday, the library wasn’t filled with students as it would’ve been if it had been any other day, not to mention it was still early and the place had just opened up. There were only two more early risers like us, and they were sitting in the main room. We were tucked away in the very corner, closed in by bookshelves and four more tables. You could only spot us if you were standing at the doorway and at the right angle.

“How long have you been sitting here?” I asked when she didn’t go on. “Come on, let’s go out and get some fresh air.”

Her hand tightened in mine and she looked at me with fear-filled eyes. “No. No. We need to stay here. I don’t want to see him.”

“Keith?” I asked, frowning. I’d known he would be the reason she was upset, but…the look on her face, the way she held herself—everything about her screamed that whatever was wrong between those two was far worse than I’d imagined.

“Yes. I’m sorry, I know I’m not making any sense, but this isn’t easy to tell. It isn’t easy to… I’m sorry, Zoe. I shouldn’t have called you. There’s nothing you can do.”

“Kayla,” I whispered, and her blurry eyes tried to focus on me. “I want to help. Please…I miss my friend. Jared misses you, too. We’ve barely seen you these last few weeks. I can help. Please let me help so I can have my friend back. Tell me what happened and we’ll go from there.”

“I don’t think I can go back,” she said quietly. “Everything I have is back at the apartment, but I don’t think I can go back to pack my things.”

“That’s okay. I can do that for you. I’ll go with Jared and pack up your stuff. You can wait for us at my apartment and we’ll take care of everything, but that’s not important right now. Can you tell me what happened to make you this sad? Did he break up with you? Cheat on you? Is that why you don’t want to go back? Did something happen after I left?”

Before Kayla could answer me, there was suddenly someone else in the room with us. “Here you are! For fuck’s sake, Kayla, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Are you fucking deaf? I’ve called you thirty times.”

My head spun around and I watched Keith stride in with his usual smarmy smile on his face. I glanced back at Kayla with worry, only to see her disappear into herself.

As he rounded the desk and made it to her side, I spoke up before he could say anything else. “Keith, I don’t think this is a good time. Something is obviously going on between you two, but this isn’t the place to hash it out. Just let me talk to her.”

He stared at me with a blank expression for a full twenty seconds or so, pupils dilated to hell. Something was wrong with him, even more than usual.

Was he on something? Was he high?

“Shut up, Zoe—or better yet, get the hell out. This doesn’t concern you.”

I watched him with my mouth open. Sure, he was a dick, always had been, but I hadn’t ever seen him high or heard anything from Kayla about him using drugs. Was this what she’d been hiding from us?

He crouched down next to her, one hand on the chair, the other on the desk, boxing her in. Kayla stiffened even further and leaned her entire upper body toward me so she wouldn’t have to touch Keith.

I stood up when he opened his mouth to speak. I had no idea what I thought I’d do, but I sure as hell didn’t want him near my friend anymore.

“Keith, I don’t know what you’re on, but go get sobered up. You can’t do this here.”

“I’m sorry, babe,” he groaned, ignoring my presence. “I thought you were into it, swear to God. I didn’t hear you say no. Why didn’t you say no if you didn’t want it?”

A cold chill ran through my body, freezing the blood in my veins. I had to hold on to my chair to stay upright.

“What did you do?” I asked in a broken voice. “What did you do, Keith?”

Kayla started crying in sobs, her body shaking and shaking. Keith kept muttering to her the whole time. I couldn’t hear a single thing he was saying through the roar in my ears. It couldn’t be true…shouldn’t be.

Livid, I mentally shook myself off so I could think, or at least try to think of what to do. The best I could come up with was pushing Keith away from my beautiful friend so he would stop trying to touch her.

I tried to yell at him, tried to shout at him to get the hell away from her, but my voice wouldn’t work and all I could manage was a harsh rasp. “Don’t touch her you son of a bitch. Don’t touch her.”

He clearly wasn’t expecting me to touch him because he fell right on his ass on the black and red checkered floor when I pushed at his shoulder with all the strength I could muster. Before I could get Kayla out of her chair and away from Keith, he was on me, pushing me away from my friend. Then he kept pushing me again and again until I crashed into the chairs.

“Who do you think you are, you little bitch,” he snapped right in my face.

Shocked and enraged out of my mind, I pushed myself up, ready to go after him, but he gave me another shove and managed to knock the breath right out of me before I could do anything.

Then his fingers wrapped around my throat, and I had no choice but to still. With him so close to my face, I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

Kayla finally snapped out of wherever she had disappeared to, jumped up, and tried her best to yank him away by clawing at his arms, but to no avail.

“No, Keith! Stop. Let her go. Please!”

Starting to panic for real, I looked around and realized that the few people in the library couldn’t really hear us, and nobody could see what was going on. None of the other students had a direct view of our spot.

His hand around my neck wasn’t tight enough to cut off my air completely, but he was getting there, taking his time, enjoying the shock in my eyes. When he pressed harder, I gagged and gasped, my eyes starting to bug out. I put my hands around his wrists to pull him away, tried to kick him to get him to let go, to loosen his hold, but his eyes looked empty, dead.

He pushed his face into mine until we were nose to nose then hissed, “Don’t touch me again.”

When he was done playing his game, he shoved me away, and the back of my head bounced off the desk with a loud thud. I slid down to my hands and knees and coughed until I couldn’t anymore.

When I looked up, Kayla was covering her mouth as she cried silent tears, inconsolable. Keith was cooing to her, touching her hair, caressing her face. The closer he stood to Kayla, the harder her tears slid down her cheeks. He gripped her arm and yanked her to his body, whispering something in her ear.

Reaching for her purse where it sat on the desk, he tried to get her to move with him. I somehow picked myself up and grabbed Kayla’s other hand. The last thing I wanted was to play tug-of-war with my friend in between, but there was no way I was letting him take her anywhere.

“Keith, stop,” I croaked out, my throat still aching, burning.

“Let her go,” he demanded through gritted teeth.

“I can’t do that. You’re scaring her. You need to leave.”

Then Kayla broke my heart by repeating those unacceptable words. “Keith…you raped me. You raped me.”

“Shut up!” Keith hissed right next to her. “Shut up so I can think! Look what you made do. I came here to apologize and look what you made me do!”

Keith shoved Kayla and she broke her fall by crashing into a chair and grabbing the desk. He started pacing the length of the wall, blocking our exit. I hugged Kayla and held on to her as she shook in my arms. She wasn’t the only one crying anymore.

“I’m sorry, Zoe. I’m so sorry,” she kept whispering. My ears were ringing with the ugly truth, and I could barely hear what she was saying, could barely comprehend what had happened.

“Shhh, it’s fine. It’ll be fine. It’s okay. We just need to get away. He won’t do anything.”

But wouldn’t he? He looked fried, high off his ass. I didn’t have any experience with drugs, and I didn’t like being around people who were out of their minds, but even I could spot that he was way off. Was this his first time taking drugs? What the hell was he even on that had turned him into a complete stranger and a raging lunatic, a psychopath? If he didn’t calm down soon, I was afraid he was gonna do something worse to hurt Kayla and me.

Suddenly, he stopped pacing. There was complete silence, and we didn’t have time to get away.

“You, get out,” he ordered me. “I need to talk to Kayla alone. She is not going to leave me over a misunderstanding.”

I stared into his eyes and couldn’t see anyone in there, certainly not someone my friend was—had been—in love with. When had things had gone so wrong with them? How could Kayla not tell us?

I tried my best to swallow down my fear, but even that hurt, and my voice was still shaky. “I can’t leave her here, Keith,” I said, panic swelling in my chest. “She is so scared. You’re scaring both of us. Can’t you see? You need to calm down and let us leave.”

In a quick movement, Keith was on Kayla, pulling her away from me, cupping her cheeks to get her to look at him. He was only inches away from her face. Kayla’s right hand held on to my arm and she whimpered when Keith’s fingers yanked at her chin. Helpless to do anything, I flinched, feeling my heartbeat in my throat.

“Tell her she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You would never be scared of me.”

I wasn’t sure if I was shaking because Kayla’s was trembling or if it was just my body, but it only intensified when Keith shot me a look filled with pure hatred.

“That’s why I don’t like you and that other one talking to her. You fuck with her head too much.”

Pulling at Kayla, he broke the hold my friend had on me and started crowding me, pushing at my shoulders until I was once again backed up against the wall.

He kept cursing at me, spit flying out of his mouth, his voice ugly and wrong and hurtful. “You did this. You’re taking her away from me. Get the hell out before I hurt you, Zoe.”

On the verge of having a panic attack, I lost my breath when he pinned me against the wall with his palm on my chest.

Kayla tried to come to my aid, but he held her back.

“Don’t try me, Zoe. I’m not going to tell you again. Get out.”

When he dropped his hand and moved to Kayla’s side, I stayed plastered to the wall. I couldn’t move. I was stuck. Even if I had the ability to move my limbs, how was I supposed to leave my friend alone with this monster? Would I be able to live with myself if he did something to her?

He already did do something to her, you idiot, I thought. He already did something to her and you weren’t there.

“I can’t move,” I admitted honestly, quietly.

He took a step forward, but before he could start in on me, Kayla stepped in front of him, blocking him from advancing farther. She was still trembling, but her tears had dried up.

“Keith—Keith, look at me. You were right, I was wrong. You would never hurt me. You didn’t mean to hurt me in front of your friends. I understand that now. I’m sorry. Please, you need to get out of here. You hurt her. You’ll get in trouble. Please. Please leave.”

In the blink of an eye, he was on her, hugging her, kissing her lips fervently. “There you are. There’s my baby. You freaked out because you liked it, didn’t you? I would never hurt you, baby. I just wanted us to have fun with my friends. I’m your boyfriend, and you love me—that’s not rape.”

Feeling sick to my stomach, I covered my mouth with my hand to keep everything in.

“We need to get out of here together,” he rushed out. “I’m feeling so good right now. You have no idea babe—if you had listened to me and taken the drugs, you wouldn’t be shaking like a leaf right now. I feel on top of the world, baby! Next time it’ll be just the two of us, don’t worry.” Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he pushed Kayla away and crouched down to pick up her bag from the floor.

She looked my way and shook her head.

I couldn’t—wouldn’t let him leave with Kayla. I wouldn’t let him touch her again. Before they could walk past me, I blocked them.

“You’re not leaving with him, Kayla. Have you lost your mind?”

Just like that, Keith’s hands were on me again, and this time he wasn’t going easy. My back hit the wall yet again, and this time I saw stars when the back of my head thudded against the wall, the sound echoing in the room.

I tried to breathe, but I couldn’t. I clawed at his arms, but it was no use. I couldn’t do anything to stop him from choking me.