Falling into a Second Chance by Alie Garnett

Chapter Twenty-Six

After Chris had takenPoppy downstairs, Agatha had turned her full concentration to her drawing. Humming along with Bon Jovi, Agatha switched to a lighter brown for the underside of the deer’s belly. Today she needed to get back to drawing. It had been days since she had put in any time at her studio. She hadn’t been able to devote as much time to her work as she would have liked.

Before she ventured into the attic with Poppy, she had sent a text to Harper and Lucy letting them know that she would not be able to work this week. No excuse, just that she couldn’t do it. So far, they hadn’t gotten back to her. They must have both been busy.

Footsteps on the stairs made her look up to see what Chris wanted. He had taken to the baby as much as she had this past weekend. She hated that she hadn’t told him he was the father, but he could be gone at any moment. They had no future plans; they were just having fun, after all.

The blonde head that appeared instead of Chris made Agatha stifle a groan. It was Sera, who would have been pissed to see Chris. And there was no telling what she would say about Poppy.

“Afternoon, Ag. I thought Benji and I would come over and visit. Maybe we should have called?” She set the carrier down, the tiny baby sleeping.

“Hi, Mom.”

Sera sat in the old green chair she always used when they talked.

“I don’t want to be the kind of a mom who pries in her kid’s lives. I should be since your lives are fascinating, but I try not to.” Sera took a deep breath. “But Christopher Lowell is in your living room with a baby right now, and I have no idea how that happened.”

“I’ve been letting Chris stay with me for a few weeks,” Agatha explained, not bothering to mention exactly where he was staying. The last that Sera had heard, he was staying in Mabel’s room. Agatha hoped that Sera would still believe that.

“I knew that. Violet talks about him all the time. And he was here on Friday when Violet was alone. Do you know what you’re doing, Agatha?” Sera leaned back in the chair.

“Yes and no. He doesn’t know who I am,” she admitted to her best friend. “He doesn’t know I’m Christie.”

“How can he not? You’ve barely changed since then.” As their mom, Sera had a hard time seeing that her kids were getting older.

“I don’t know. I thought he would realize it right away, but he never did. But he likes me as I am now.” She put her pencil down, knowing she wouldn’t be getting back to what she was doing for a while. There was a lecture coming.

“You’ve always had a hard time letting people see you as you are, Ag. People can’t like what they don’t see.” Sera tapped Agatha’s knee with her foot. “It’s always been him, Ag, always. What happens when he leaves again? I was there last time. I have never been so worried about any of my kids as I was then. You didn’t leave this room that summer, and I didn’t think you would go to college. Luckily you went, but then you quit right away. Violet was the only reason you came back to us.”

Looking back on that time, she knew Sera was right; she had let her emotions take over her life for a long time. As time has passed, she liked to think nobody noticed, but Sera did.

“I don’t know what the future is going to be. I’m trying to live in the now,” Agatha replied, hoping her voice sounded more confident than she actually felt. Though she wanted forever with him, she knew she was never getting that. Not with Chris.

Because no matter how much time they spent together, it was just an extended version of the other times they had been together. Once the real world intruded, he would forget all about her and go on with his life. Without her.

“So you love him, and now he’s making you fall for his kid? I assume it’s his kid. All her stuff is down there.” Sera’s blue eyes stared at her.

Agatha realized just how much of Poppy’s stuff had taken over the house in just a short amount of time. There was no hiding her from anyone who walked in the door.

“Actually, no. She’s mine.” Agatha ripped the Band-Aid off. She had to tell them sometime. Putting off telling Sera about what was happening in her life hadn’t worked well lately.

Sera laughed as if she’d told her a joke. Agatha did not join in, just leaned back in her chair as she bit her lower lip and watched her mom slowly stop laughing. Once she stopped, Agatha shrugged, and Sera swore viciously before stomping back down the stairs.

Sera was back in moments, carrying Poppy, who was looking at her new grandma with the same happy inspection she met everyone with. Sera sat back in the chair and stared at the baby, then at Agatha, and then at the baby again.

“Where the fuck was I?” Sera demanded in anger, only to smile when Poppy smiled at her.

“Hawaii with the kids and Harrison. I put her up for adoption. I couldn’t raise her then.”

Sera touched Poppy’s cheek. “What changed?”

“I sold my books the next month. If I had sold them sooner, I could have kept her, but I had nothing and no way to earn anything. I worked as a bartender and was bad at it. Waitressing for my sisters? That doesn’t buy diapers, lunches in school, or college. I couldn’t keep her. It was just like when I was nineteen, except this time I didn’t lose the baby. But I was in the same place, only older, and I no longer had dreams of being anything. I wasn’t enough.” She let the tears leak from her eyes.

“You had us.” Sera began crying too.

“I didn’t want to be that kind of mom. When we helped you raise the girls, you were in college trying to better yourself, and then you had a good job. I couldn’t do that. I thought it was better this way.” Agatha couldn’t say more. There was nothing left to say.

“You know we always loved you, Agatha, no matter what you did or didn’t do. We loved you through it all.” Sera hugged the baby, knowing that Agatha wouldn’t want the hug her mom so wanted to give. “What happened? How did you get her back?”

“After Benji was born, I just had to see her. I could since it was an open adoption. I went over there and played with her for a few hours. Turns out her parents had been able to conceive naturally after they adopted Poppy and didn’t want a baby that wasn’t theirs anymore. They didn’t want her and gave her back to me.” Agatha wiped her face dry with her shirt.

“That is not how it works. Once you adopt, they are yours forever. I’ll have Harrison make sure they never get a chance to see our baby again. Papers will need to be filed,” Sera said, pulling out her phone with one hand, the other still holding Poppy.

Agatha took her phone from her hand. “I went straight to Aspen, my lawyer, on Friday. It’s all taken care of. You had just had a baby, so I didn’t want to bother you. Aspen knew a judge and got everything done that day. That’s why I wasn’t there for Violet.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sera wiped away her tears and hugged the baby to her.

“I ruined Violet’s birthday. I didn’t want to ruin Benji’s too! I wonder if I did something shitty on Emma’s?” Agatha said.

“I don’t remember, but what happened on the day Violet was born didn’t ruin anything. You losing your own baby made having her that much more precious. Yeah, it’s sad, but that day we didn’t walk out of the hospital empty-handed; we came home with a baby we have shared ever since. And now we’re mothers again. I have one, and you have one. But they still look the same.” Sera grinned and ran her hand over the baby’s head.

“I never looked at it like that,” Agatha admitted. She’d never managed to see a positive from the babies being born on the same day. Just the shadow it had cast on Violet’s birth.

“How old is she? No wait, I was on my honeymoon so, just over nine months?”

“January third,” Agatha confirmed. The best and worst day of her life.

Running her hand over the baby’s hair again, Sera asked, “Does Chris know he is the father?”

Shocked, Agatha stammered, “W-what? How did you know?”

“The curls, his smile, and the fact that he was at a football party the girl’s catered around the time you would have gotten pregnant. A party you worked.” Sera turned the baby so that Agatha could see her, as if she needed to see her to know the truth.

It was something she hated herself for hiding but couldn’t bring herself to tell him. Because then he would hate her also.

“No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t remember me. Then or before. I don’t think he’ll be happy when he finds out,” she admitted, which was why she wasn’t telling him. Maybe he never needed to know. Maybe it would never come up.

“He might be okay with it. She’s a cute baby. She looks a lot like my favorite daughter. What’s her name?” Sera asked.

“Poppy Joy. I have to get her name changed to Lovely. Maybe Harrison can handle that since you’ve done it twice over the last year for your girls.” Agatha took her baby from her mom.

“She does look like a Poppy, though,” Sera said and laughed. “Can I tell everyone about her? I want to tell everyone.”

“I wasn’t looking forward to that at all. You tell them and explain everything. Just not the Chris stuff.” Her family didn’t have to know everything.

“There are some things you have to explain yourself. But first, you have to tell Chris. From what I saw, he might not be so against being a dad,” Sera stated.

Agatha hugged Poppy. “I don’t know.”

But she knew her mom was right. Chris needed to know. He needed to know everything. Only then could he decide if he really wanted to be there.

“Now I have to tell all my girls. Oh, and come over around 6 p.m. for supper. I’m sure Lucy and Harper can whip something up by then. Besides, all the girls will want to meet their new niece. And I need to spoil her! I’ve missed so much time with her.” Sera got up and hugged them both, grabbed her baby still sleeping in his seat, and headed down the stairs.

Now everyone would know about her biggest secret. Hopefully, they would be as happy about Poppy as had been about her last secret.