Falling into a Second Chance by Alie Garnett

Chapter Thirty

After Harrison had foundher on his back porch with nothing but her daughter and in tears, the sisters had been shifting Agatha and Poppy from one house to the next. Not that Chris was ever getting close to finding her, but because each sister got tired of her pretty quickly.

Within hours of her fight with Chris, she and Poppy were at Harper’s place since Kaine and Harper had the room for two extra people. But since Poppy had suddenly been uprooted from her home again, she was not happy and cried all night long. There had been nothing Agatha could do. She had been a mom for a week and was struggling with her own heartbreak.

So the next day, she had been shifted to Lucy and Leo’s house, but with their six kids, she was ready to leave within the hour. There were too many people, even if they weren’t even all home at the same time.

By nightfall, she had moved to Mabel and Cliff’s. They had stayed for two days. Poppy loved Cliff, which was no surprise; the man had a way with women. Mabel let Agatha do her thing, sometimes. It seemed since marriage and making a home with her new husband, Mabel had become more particular about everything having a place. And babies made more of a mess than she had been expecting. Not to mention that after months of being married, Mabel and Cliff were still very much in the honeymoon stage. Their constant affection made her remember the few short days she and Chris were happy, and it made her heart hurt worse.

Today they had moved on to Buzz and Jonas’s place. It was her last refuge that wasn’t on the same street as Chris. Her emotions were frayed.

Buzz was in her last week of pregnancy and was not excited about having house guests and did nothing to make them comfortable. Jonas tried, but his wife was a snarler, so he couldn’t do much either.

Buzz was laid out on the couch, watching a show on buying wedding dresses, which caused her to either cry hysterically or yell curse words at the screen—there was no middle ground. Agatha was playing with a box of toys Jonas had found in the baby’s room for Poppy to play with.

“How the fuck did you do this without anyone knowing?” Buzz demanded. Whether she was talking to the TV or her, Agatha didn’t know.

Deciding to just let her sister yell, she handed a blue block to her dark-haired baby. After the first night of crying, Poppy had settled down and was accepting the changes in her life way better than her mom was. Agatha hated everything that was happening and wanted to go home, but she had to stay away from there until it was completely Chris-free again. However long that took.

Not just home, but to a time when Chris liked her and loved their baby. Those days felt like her most happy memories. Not that their time together had been real, but it had felt like it, to her at least.

“Earth to Agatha! Answer me!” Buzz was looking at her.

“What?” she barked back.

“How did you have a baby without us knowing?” Buzz repeated the question.

“I didn’t think it was so hard. Maybe I had an easier pregnancy,” Agatha answered, not mentioning that her sister might be overdoing the complaining a little.

Buzz flopped her head back on the couch. “Did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt?”

“Pushing a human out of your vagina!” Buzz yelled at the ceiling.

“Yes.” Agatha didn’t elaborate.

“Is that all you’re going to say about it?” Buzz demanded as she shifted to glare at her.

Agatha finally snapped. “Yes, because you’re already yelling at me. Do I need to tell you it feels like your insides are coming out? Or that your body feels like it’s going to rip apart, and that it kind of does? Is that what you want to know? That the baby is a slimy, wiggling thing that they toss at you only to turn back to your vagina?!” Buzz was turning a little paler with Agatha’s words.

“Not really what I wanted to hear, but I guess I deserved it,” Buzz admitted. “Maybe I just wanted to hear the ‘it’s worth it’ speech.”

“It is.” Agatha sighed and hugged Poppy to her.

“How did you give her up? I’m already so in love with Jonas’s spawn. I couldn’t.” Buzz sat up as she rubbed her stomach.

“I thought that she would be better off without me. I had been fired and hadn’t been able to find a new job for weeks. Even the Grog wouldn’t hire me anymore. I had submitted a book to a publisher but hadn’t heard back, which meant they didn’t like it. I had nothing and was going nowhere. I couldn’t take a kid down with me. I knew that.”

“Mom would have raised her in a heartbeat,” Buzz stated the obvious.

“I know she would have, but one day, she would have told Poppy that I was her mom. And then she would know that her mom was a loser who couldn’t make something of life. Then she would think that that failing was in her too, that she’s a loser like me.”

“Is that what you think, Agatha? That you are a loser?”

“I have always been the artsy weirdo, Buzz. Always.”

“Agatha Christie Lovely, you are the most talented person I have ever met. We have all been just waiting for you to find your calling. It could have been anything! Everything you draw, paint, and even sketch is amazing. Art isn’t easy; we all know that. We let you do what you wanted because you had to find your way.”

“I had no ambition,” Agatha said as Poppy crawled away from her.

“Maybe not for bartending and waitressing, but every day you created art in your room. You never stopped, because that’s what you wanted to do. We were all shiftless for a while. Only Sera ever really had a plan for her life. Harper and Lucy struggled to start their catering business. Maby has never struggled, but she’s Maby. Me, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I married well, so I don’t have to.” Buzz laughed at herself.

Agatha pointed to her stomach. “You’re going to be a mom.”

“I am, but you already are, and you’re killing it. I hope I’m half as good as you are at it.” Buzz leaned back on the couch. “I worry about that.”

“You are going to be so much better than me. I didn’t even know if I want to be a mom or could be a good one. Or if I’m just messing her up.”

“You practically raised Violet so that Mom could work,” Buzz pointed out.

“But Violet was her baby, not mine. Sera always came home at the end of the day.”

“But she didn’t need to. In fact, she sometimes didn’t. She had you. Maybe I should keep you, and you can raise this one.” She tapped her belly.

“You can’t afford me.” Agatha laughed

“I have access to a sexy, rich man’s checkbook. I can afford anything.” Buzz grinned, most likely thinking about her sexy man since his checkbook had never mattered to her. No matter how often she complained, she never updated anything. In fact, she had on a sweatshirt that had belonged to Mabel during her college days.

“I have to focus of raising Poppy right now.” Agatha watched the baby pull herself up to stand by the couch.

“Did you tell the dad about her?”

“I don’t know who the daddy is,” Agatha lied.

Buzz’s laugh scared Poppy, and she fell onto her butt, crying. Buzz stopped laughing and pulled the baby up to sit with her. “Your mommy is such a kidder. She thinks Aunty Buzz is stupid. Aunty Buzz was there too.”

“You were not; I was covering for you,” Agatha stated, then slammed her hand over her mouth.

“Suddenly, you remember.” Buzz grinned at her. “And you can thank me with cash or babysitting. I might want babysitting more than cash.”

“I am not talking about it.”

“You don’t have to. I have an imagination. Just one question, though. Was it in a public location?” Buzz asked, playing pattycake with Poppy.

“It was not!” she hissed at her sister, then remembered it wasn’t that far from a public location.

“Is Mommy blushing, Poppy?” Buzz asked. “Must be a pretty hot memory.”

“Let your imagination go wild, Buzz. It’s the best you’ll get.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I am. But on a more serious note, Ag, this kid is adorable. I mean from you and him to this? Crazy. Maybe you carry more of my genes than I ever thought.”

“Thank you, Buzz. I think she’s pretty cute myself,” Agatha said and left her sister with the baby. It had been a long few days, and she hadn’t had much time without her daughter. Buzz could watch Poppy so that Agatha could take a nap or dwell on her lonely future. Whichever happened.

Alone in her room, she crawled into bed fully clothed and curled into a ball. Buzz was right; everyone in the family supported her in any way possible. So they never said the words out loud, but they believed in her. From finding her jobs that wouldn’t interfere with her drawing time to making sure she had food when they knew she wouldn’t put forth effort or time to make it. They never teased her about something that could have just been a hobby. It was with that silent support that she had been able to finish not one but six of her books before they even all moved out of the house.

If she had been brave enough to tell them about Poppy when she was pregnant, they would have given her the same support. Not one would have told her that she couldn’t or shouldn’t raise her daughter. They would have been there for every appointment and late-night feeding she allowed them to be at. In fact, seeing them rally around Buzz and Lucy when they each were pregnant and alone, she knew they would have done the same for her.

Now she had to learn how to lean on them more than she had in the past. They want her to lean on them. They always had.