Storm and Fury by Jennifer L. Armentrout

31

Every muscle in my body locked up. “What?”

“He’s been in love with her since they were kids,” he said. “And Layla loves him. She’s loved him since she was a child. They were even together for a while.”

Slowly, I turned to face the demon prince. We were close enough that I could make out his expression. There was no smirk or laugh to his lips, no animosity to his amber eyes, no malicious intent.

“Layla just loves me more,” he continued. “And I know, if Layla and I had never met, she and Zayne would be together. Hell, sometimes I’m surprised that she didn’t choose him over me.” He sighed. “He’s a far better man than I could ever hope to become.”

So thrown by what he was saying, I was at a loss for words. All I could say once I got my mouth to move was, “He loves her?”

Roth leaned against the wall. “Yeah. I mean, as of six months ago, he did. I can’t imagine that kind of love—you know, loving someone for years and years and years—has faded that quickly.”

A tiny fissure opened in my chest, proving to me just how much I’d come to like Zayne—how much I liked him without even realizing it.

Why should that be so surprising?

That was why I’d trusted him so much last night. That was why I couldn’t tear my eyes off him when I was around him. That was why I’d confided in him about my vision and talked to him about my mom.

Maybe it wasn’t love, but it was definitely something that was potent and powerful and could be hurt, because whatever it was, it was hurting right now.

Tipping his head back against the wall, Roth let out a sigh. “You like him, don’t you?”

My jaw clenched from how hard I was clamping my mouth shut.

“He probably likes you, too. He liked Stacey.”

I blinked. “Who is Stacey?”

“Layla’s best friend.” He tilted his head toward me. “She and Zayne were pretty close after, well, everything that had happened between him and Layla. They weren’t together. Well, I mean, I try not to get up in their personal business, but I think they were just...distracting one another.”

“From what?”

“From their grief,” he answered. “There’s a lot you don’t know, Trinity. Like you don’t know that the reason Layla’s clan attacked and nearly killed her was because Zayne kissed her and she took a piece of his soul.”

I sucked in a shaky breath.

“And you don’t know that he punishes himself every day because of that,” Roth continued. “Why else did he move out on his own? Why else did he refuse to take his father’s seat of power?”

“He told me it was because he needed space and that he didn’t agree with what his clan was doing,” I reasoned.

“And I’m sure he was telling you the truth. He just wasn’t telling you all of it.” Roth’s face softened. “I’m surprised his clan didn’t speak up when you became involved and went to stay with him.”

“Why would they? I doubt they talk about his...his past relationships with random strangers.”

“Yes, but you’re a Trueborn and must be protected at all costs, right?” There was no mocking in his tone. “And he would step right over you and lay down his life for her this very second.”

I sucked in air around the sting those words delivered. Looking away from Roth, my chest rose and fell heavily as I tried to shake off what he was saying—trying to tell myself that Roth was a demon and he was just messing with me, but...why would he do that?

And I’d seen the way Zayne acted around Layla, heard the way he talked about her and how he avoided speaking about her at all costs.

Roth wasn’t lying.

I closed my eyes.

“Yeah, you like him. Did you guys hook up?”

My head jerked in his direction. “Excuse me?”

“I’m only asking, because I know he didn’t do that with Stacey. They fooled around, but they didn’t, you know, go next level.”

“How in the world do you know that?”

“Unfortunately, I’ve heard one too many conversations between her and Layla,” he replied dryly. “They share everything. So, did he? You know, go next level? Because if he did, then I’m over here talking out of my ass and I’m about to have a party, because trust me, no one wants to see Zayne move on more than me.”

Pressing my lips together, I shook my head. “No party.”

“Damn,” Roth sighed. “Look, like I just said, no one wants to see him with someone more than I do—see him really with someone, moving on, and living his best fucking life, but you’re barking up the wrong tree there.” He pushed off the wall and came to where I stood. Leaning around me, he hit the elevator button. “So, that’s what’s going on with Zayne and Layla. Ten years of loving what you can never have and then losing it once you realized it had always been within your grasp.”

The elevator dinged, signaling its arrival.

Roth and I were quiet as we rode the elevator down and walked out into the humid night air. I was in a daze from what Roth had said, but a part of me realized I shouldn’t be so surprised. The signs had been there, but I just didn’t know Zayne well enough to read them.

A sharp slice of pain lit up my chest at that realization. I’d thought I’d gotten to know him well, especially after all the nights we’d talked about everything and anything, but in reality, it had been mostly superficial stuff he’d shared.

Neither of us spoke as we entered the parking garage, and my heart was thumping heavily as we rounded a pillar, and I saw Zayne and Layla, standing in front of his car. There was a couple of feet separating them, and their heads were bowed together like there were discussing something very important. My stomach started flipping around as they both looked up.

“Well, Trinity, this should be a fun evening for the both of us.” He cut off toward Layla—toward the girl Zayne was in love with. “Hey, Shortie.”

My steps slowed, and as I drew closer, I could read Zayne’s expression as he stared at the ground. He didn’t look mad or as irritated as he had when I left him. He just looked...sad.

Pressure clamped down on my chest, and I didn’t know if it was for me or for him or for this whole situation.

He lifted his chin and whatever he was feeling was closeted away as his gaze met mine. I saw it then. A veil slipping over his face, cloaking everything he was feeling. No emotion, nothing deeper than the surface.

“What did you guys find out?” Layla asked, her voice sounding hoarser than I remember, as if she needed to clear her throat.

“We found out that it was a senator who came to the witches to get the enchantment,” Roth explained while I just stood there, trying to get my thoughts back on track. “Josh Fisher, the Senate Majority Leader of all people. He offered up a Trueborn, in pieces basically, to the coven for the enchantment, claiming he had the Trueborn’s Protector.”

“What in the Hell?” Zayne demanded, turning to me.

“Basically.” Roth draped an arm around Layla’s shoulders. “So, we do know that Bael is working with the senator.”

“Find Senator Fisher and perhaps we find Bael.” Zayne was still staring at me. “This is good news.”

I nodded slowly, finally finding my voice.

“I’ll make some calls. Gideon, one of our clan members—damn near a tech genius—will be able to ferret out the senator’s address,” Zayne said, and that was good news. He was already reaching into his pocket, and he made a quick call. “We should have something in a couple of hours.”

“You guys are going to his house once you get the information?” Layla asked.

“Yes,” I said, ignoring the sudden sharpness in Zayne’s face. “We should—”

“Give it until tomorrow night,” Roth suggested. “Layla and I have some things to take care of tonight, but we’ll be your backup if you get his info and decide to go in.”

I opened my mouth, but Zayne spoke before I did. “Don’t think that will be necessary.”

“Don’t think I care,” Roth replied.

Layla pulled away and smacked the demon in the chest and then she focused on us—on Zayne. “You have no idea what you’re going up against. It could be just the senator. Or there could be human security, and if that’s the case, you need us—”

“Because I will take care of the humans and not feel remotely bad about it,” Roth explained. “You know, if the humans pose a problem to us.”

I snapped my mouth shut.

“Not just because of that.” Layla shot her boyfriend a look, and he simply grinned. “But I’m under the impression that the clan isn’t really helping with this, not actively, and you should have backup just in case things go south.”

“She’s right. They’re right,” I said, crossing my arms. “It would be foolish for us to do this without help.”

Zayne exhaled and then nodded. “Once I hear back from Gideon, I’ll text you guys the address and we’ll be up tomorrow. Eight sound good?”

“Sounds good.” Roth took Layla’s hand. “We’ll see you guys then.” He started to turn and then stopped, looking at me. “Sorry you didn’t get all the answers you were looking for.”

Sucking in a sharp breath, I knew he wasn’t just talking about Bael or Misha. He was talking about Zayne. I nodded and then turned, making my way to the passenger side of the Impala.

Zayne followed, opening the door for me.

So polite.

Always the gentleman.

“Gideon will be able to get us the information we need,” he said, and there was a hint of remoteness to his tone.

“I know.”

Leaning against the passenger door, Zayne shoved a hand through his hair. “We’ve got some direction, but with Bael being involved with a senator, that could also mean bad news in the long term.”

“It does.” I sighed, beyond frustrated and emotionally and mentally stretched too thin as I looked up at Zayne. “We’re closer to finding Misha, though. At least there’s that.”

Zayne was quiet as he turned his head, staring in the direction Layla and Roth had disappeared to. “I feel like...we’re missing something. That it’s right in our faces and we’re not seeing it.”

“Yeah, well, Roth thinks it’s because Bael just wants me dead. Like he found out I existed and was, like, let’s take all these elaborate measures to kill her.”

Zayne’s brows lifted.

“But that doesn’t make sense, because why keep Misha alive? With the bond, I’m stronger. He’s stronger. And if they know enough about Misha and what he is, then why haven’t they killed him?”

“I don’t know.” Zayne stepped back. “But we’re not going to find the answers here.”

No, we wouldn’t.

I buckled myself in as Zayne closed the door and jogged around the front before climbing in behind the wheel. While I knew I should be focusing on what the witch had said, all I could think about as he coasted out of the parking garage was what Roth had told me.

My heart started pounding all over again as I glanced at Zayne, his features cast in shadows. I looked out the window, trying to think of a way to bring it up, because we needed to talk about this. Maybe if last night hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t need to, because it wouldn’t have been my business, but now it was my business.

“You okay?” I asked, my hands surprisingly damp as I rubbed them along my knees.

“Yeah.” He looked over at me. “Why?”

Why? I blinked slowly. “You’re really quiet.”

“I am?”

“You are,” I confirmed, wondering if the distance in his tone was really there or if it was my imagination. “How...how did things go with Layla?”

“Good.”

I arched a brow. “Good?”

“Yeah, it was good.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

He shot me another quick look, but he didn’t respond.

Frustration grew, but so did the sudden sick feeling that tasted like bitterness and dread in the back of my throat. I lifted my hands. I didn’t plan on blurting it out, but it just happened. “Roth told me.”

Zayne didn’t immediately respond, so I twisted in the seat toward him. He was focused on the road, his jaw a hard line. “Told you what, Trinity?”

“About...about you and Layla.”

No response. None. Not even a brief glance or flicker of emotion that I could see.

“He told me that you’re in love with her.”

That got a reaction, not the one I was expecting, but something. His lips twisted in a wry grin as he slowly shook his head. “He told you that?”

“Yeah,” I whispered, and waited for him to say something, anything, but there was nothing. “Are you?” I asked. “Are you in love with her?”

He exhaled as he kept one hand on the steering wheel. A moment passed, one that was so long that I already had my answer.

The same answer I’d had before I even asked the question.

Tensing, I focused on the blur of darkness outside the window. I opened my mouth and then closed it, because there were so many things I wanted to say I didn’t even know where to start.

“I will always...care about her,” Zayne said, his voice quiet. “Always.”

I flinched as the breath caught in my throat. “You don’t have to answer my question. I already know. I don’t even know why I asked.”

“What did he tell you?” Zayne asked.

“Enough to... I don’t know. Get my head on straight, I guess,” I muttered. “What was last night?”

Oh God.

The moment that question left my mouth, I wanted to catch it and shove it back down my throat, but it was too late.

“What did he say to you, Trinity?” he repeated.

“He told me that...that you’re in love with Layla, and that you’ve been in love with her for years. He told me that you guys were together and that she took a part of your soul.” Once I started going, I really couldn’t stop it. “He even told me about some girl named Stacey and that—” I cut myself off before I said anymore. “He told me enough.”

“Jesus,” Zayne muttered. “Why even ask me what I feel or think when he seems to have laid all my business out for you?”

“Oh, yeah, like you’ve been entirely forthcoming with information any time I asked you about Layla,” I snapped, anger replacing the sting of hurt. I latched on to it. Anger was better, easier to deal with it. “You failed to mention last night, when you were listing all the reasons why we shouldn’t do what we did, that the most important one was that you were still in love with someone you can’t have.”

“I didn’t realize you and I were going that deep,” he shot back, and my head swiveled in his direction.

My lips parted on a sharp inhale that went nowhere as that burning sting returned, sharper than before. The knot in my throat was back, and suddenly I was so uncomfortable in this seat, in my skin, that I wanted to be far away from here. Anywhere. On the street. By the river. In a den of hungry demons. Anywhere. My shoulders tensed as I slowly pulled my gaze from him.

“Shit,” he hissed. “Trin, I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. I didn’t—”

“Can we just not talk right now?” I cut him off.

“No, we need to talk. I’m in a... I’m in a weird space right now. I wasn’t expecting her to be here tonight and...and all that shit that comes with her. I wasn’t expecting Roth to gossip like a damn old lady. I wasn’t expecting last night—”

“Yeah, well, neither was I, Zayne. I wasn’t expecting to like someone who is in love with someone else.” My fingers dug into my knees. “And I really don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“You don’t understand.”

“You’re right,” I said, blinking back stupid tears—tears I refused to let fall. I wasn’t weak like that. I was a damn trained fighter. I wouldn’t cry. “I’ve never been in love with someone. So yeah, I don’t understand.”

“Trin—”

“I don’t want to talk about this. What part of that do you not understand? I just don’t. Okay? I’m tired and I want to go home—I mean, back to your place.”

A beat of silence. “Thought you were excited about grabbing something to eat.”

Not anymore. “I’m not hungry. I just want to go back.”

“Right. We can do that.”

And we did that, in perfect freaking silence—silence that followed us into the elevator and ended when I walked into his place, stalking toward his bedroom door.

“There’s food in the fridge if you change your mind,” he said.

Slowly, I turned back to him. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah. Out.”

I took a step toward him, realizing I didn’t want him to leave...and I didn’t want him to stay. I wanted him to force the conversation and I also didn’t want to talk about it, and I was thoroughly confused by these conflicting violate emotions.

“Where?” I blurted.

“I don’t know.”

He started for the elevator and then stopped and faced me. For a moment, that wall was down and I could see it all. Sadness. Anger. Disappointment. Most of all, a feeling I’d recognized anywhere—yearning. Then he turned from me. “I’m sorry, Trinity. I just need... I’m sorry.”

And then he left.

I knew why he left and I knew why he’d been so quiet on the ride back here. And I now knew why he’d never had sex before and why he hadn’t pushed for it with me.

It was because he’d been in love with Layla since he was a boy and he was still so obviously in love with her now.

I took a breath and it got stuck in a sudden knot in my throat. I looked down at my hands, watching them close into limp fists. My chest...it ached like I’d been punched center mass, and I didn’t know why I felt stupid and silly, but I did as I stared at those doors, because all I could think was that he’d done those things with me last night, he’d touched me like that, he’d held me like that, all the while he’d still been in love with Layla—in love with a half Warden, half demon who was in love with the Crown Prince of Hell.

Did he even see me last night? Feel me? Or had he been seeing Layla instead, pretending that I was...

A strangled sounding laugh parted my lips. “God.”

I had no idea how long I stood in the center of his apartment, staring at the closed elevator doors. Could’ve been minutes or hours before I walked over to the couch and sat down, numb to the very core.

Peanut drifted over to me, from where I had no clue. “Trinnie?”

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “Where’s Zayne?”

I opened my mouth, but what could I say? I had no idea where he was. “Everything is—”

The elevator door dinged and Zayne’s voice suddenly filled the silent apartment. “You know what, Trin. Screw this. We need to talk about this.”

“Well, there he is,” Peanut announced.

Eyes widening, I shot to my feet and turned around, and yeah, there he was, striding across the living room. He tossed his keys onto the island. “Roth had no business telling you what he did,” he said, coming around the couch. “That was not his place. He may think he knows everything about me, but he doesn’t know jack shit—”

“We have company,” I blurted out.

Zayne snapped his mouth shut as he looked around while Peanut waved at him, unseen. “The ghost?”

“The ghost has a name,” I reminded him. “Peanut.”

“Peanut. Okay.” Zayne thrust a hand through his hair and those strands immediately slipped back against his cheek. “Peanut, can you give us some space?”

Peanut lowered his hands as he looked over at me. “He’s...he’s talking to me.”

“Yes. He’s talking to you.”

“For real?” An awed expression filled Peanut’s face. “No one talks to me except for you, even when they know I’m here.”

“Well, he’s talking to you now, Peanut.” I glanced at Zayne. “Isn’t that right?”

Zayne nodded. “Yeah, Peanut, I’m talking to you. Can you give us some time alone?”

I turned to Peanut.

“Normally I would love to be here for what I am sure is going to be a superawkward conversation, but since he’s asking, I’m going to give you space,” Peanut said, and I thought it was kind of messed up that he was doing it because Zayne asked and yet never did it for me. “I’ll give you some space and check out what Gena is doing.”

“Okay. He’s leaving—Wait. Who is Gena?” I asked.

“She’s this supercool girl on the fourth floor who can see me. She’s been marathoning Stranger Things with me,” he said, and I blinked. “See you later, alligator!”

“Wait!” I reached for him, but Peanut blinked out of existence. I turned to the door. “Oh God, he’s been hanging with some kid on the fourth floor that can see him. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but that sure does explain why he hasn’t been around all that much.”

“Maybe it’s a distant relative of yours,” Zayne commented wryly.

I shot him a dark look as I shoved my hair back from my face. “I’ll have to figure out what to do with that later.” I inhaled deeply as I lifted my gaze to his and those pale blue eyes snagged mine. Suddenly bone weary, I let out a ragged breath. “What did you want to say to me?”

His eyes searched mine. “Roth should’ve kept his mouth shut.”

“Why? So that we would continue whatever it is we’re doing and I’d have no idea you wanted someone else?” I heard his words from earlier. I didn’t realize you and I were going that deep. A sharp slice of unease cut across my chest as I took a step back and then sat on the edge of the couch. “That’s messed up.”

“No, that’s not why. He shouldn’t have involved himself, because it’s none of his business—”

“I asked him. He didn’t bring it up. I asked him what was up between you two. He answered.”

“Still wasn’t his place.”

I stared up at him, and yeah, maybe Zayne was right. Maybe it wasn’t Roth’s place, but it didn’t change what was said or the fact I knew the truth. Swallowing hard, I looked away.

“He shouldn’t have told you, because I didn’t want this to happen. With everything going on, the last thing I wanted was for you to get hurt.”

God.

Why did those words make me feel worse?

“I’m not hurt.” That was a lie. It felt like there was an imp claw stuck in my chest. “I...I don’t know what I was thinking last night,” I said, curling my hands around my knees as my gaze fell to the blank TV. “It’s not like I thought you were madly in love with me or something. I mean, I figure I annoy you too much for that, anyway, but I didn’t know there was someone else.”

“There isn’t someone else.”

“There isn’t? You may not be with Layla, but you’re in love with her, and that means there’s someone else you’d rather be with and that means I’m...I’m second best. I’m—”

“You are not second best, Trin.” Zayne sighed, and my heart squeezed. “I know this is hurting you. Shit. Hearing you say this is killing me.”

“Really?” I tilted my head. “How exactly is it killing you, Zayne?”

“Because I do care about you. Because last night was—”

“A mistake?”

“No. It wasn’t a mistake to me. Was it to you?”

A huge part of me wanted to say that it was, to lash out, but all I could do was shake my head as I stared down at my hands, wondering how I got here. “Did you...?”

“What?”

I shook my head again, heart pounding and my throat boarding as I looked up at him. “Did you want to do that with me last night or were you thinking of her?”

His eyes widened. “Jesus, is that a serious question?”

“The first time I kissed you, you launched yourself off me like a rocket, and any other time we’ve gotten close, you’ve pulled away. It wasn’t like you jumped my bones last night. I had to... I had to convince you,” I whispered, stomach twisting as I realized that was true and I couldn’t look at him. “You listed all these reasons and I—”

“You didn’t have to convince me. What I feel for Layla—what I’ve felt for her had nothing to do with last night. At all. What we shared was damn near perfect,” he continued, and I felt the couch shift when he sat next to me. I jerked when I felt his fingers under my chin. “Sorry,” he murmured, tilting my gaze back to his. “There isn’t a fucking moment of last night that I regret.”

I blinked.

He held my gaze for a moment longer and then looked away. “I’ve known Layla for what feels like half my life. Longer, really. She was... She was just this little girl at first, following me around and being...well, a nuisance. I imagine it was a lot like you and Misha.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I took a ragged breath. I wanted him to shut up. I wanted him to keep talking. I wanted...

I didn’t know what I wanted.

But Zayne kept talking. “As she grew older and so did I, I knew she had a crush on me, and it was easy to ignore at first, because she was younger, but then she wasn’t and she was going to public school, something she’d begged and pleaded for my father to allow, and I looked forward to her coming home each day and telling me about her day. I knew she liked me, but it wasn’t something either of us acted on.”

“Because she wasn’t a full-blooded Warden?” I opened my eyes.

He was still staring down at his hands when he let out a rough laugh. “No. Because her mother’s abilities manifested differently in her. You know about some of them, but she can’t kiss anything with a soul. She’ll feed that way.”

My eyes widened.

“That would make pursuing a relationship...difficult, but I trusted her. I never feared that she’d harm me. She just didn’t trust herself,” he said, tipping his head back. His throat worked on a swallow. “I don’t know exactly when I realized that how I felt for her wasn’t anything...brotherly. It was before Roth came into the picture. That I do know, and I dated, but I just wasn’t into anyone because of her. I would flirt with her, but she never thought I saw her like that. No matter how many times I flirted with her or dropped hints that I was...I was into her, feeling the same way, she just didn’t see it. Then Roth came along.”

“I... Roth said you two were together at some point?”

He lowered his chin and nodded. “We were. We tried. It’s a long story, but Roth pushed her away because my father threatened him to get him to stay away from her. Roth obeyed out of fear for her, and it was my chance—it was our chance to try to make it work. We both saw that and we took it, but it didn’t last.”

“Because you tried to kiss her?” I asked, thinking that not being able to kiss would suck, but there were all kinds of things you could do that didn’t involve mouth on mouth.

“We were actually able to kiss. We’d thought it was because she was able to control her abilities, but she had Roth’s familiar on her at the time, and it altered her abilities—”

“Bambi?” I asked. “Or another one?”

“Bambi.” He looked at me. “How did you know?”

“I met her tonight. She was on that witch.”

“That damn snake kind of grew on me.” A faint smile appeared and then faded. “When Layla got hurt by my clan, she was dying. The witches had a cure and Roth bartered for it. They wanted Bambi, and he gave her to them. I hear losing a familiar is like losing a part of yourself, but that’s how much he loves Layla.”

“Oh,” I murmured.

“Anyway, the last time I kissed her, Bambi wasn’t on her, and she accidentally fed on me,” he said. “Took just a small piece of my soul, but that wasn’t what ended us. She chose Roth, and the whole time she was with me, she really just wanted him. She loved me. She still loves me, but she...she just loves Roth more.”

I winced. That was the same thing Roth had said.

“Afterward, I was pissed. I felt like I’d been used and then discarded.” A muscle flexed along his jaw. “I was angry at her for a long time.”

“You seem like you’re still angry at her.”

Zayne looked over at me. “I’m not.”

“Really?”

“No. If anything, I’m angry at the situation, because I didn’t just lose a relationship with her, I lost someone who was basically my closest friend. Things changed. They changed for her. They changed for me,” he said. “And I know I’ve seemed angry with her, and I have been, but not because she broke up with me. It’s because she still tries to treat me like nothing has changed. Like she can demand to know what’s going on in my life and who I’m with. I was hanging out with a girl, and Layla got in the middle of that.”

“Stacey?”

“God, what didn’t Roth tell you?”

“Sorry,” I muttered. “He made it sound like Stacey had lost someone?”

“She did. Her boyfriend. He was also Layla’s friend.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “Stacey and I are friends. We...made out a few times. Things were kind of awkward afterward, because of us both being close to Layla. I haven’t seen her a while.” He lifted a shoulder. “Anyway, Layla thinks I owe her... I don’t know what. Acceptance? I’ve already accepted that she’s with Roth. Forgiveness? It took me a while to get there, but I have gotten there. To go back to the way things were before, like none of this happened? I’m not sure if that’s ever going to be possible, and it’s kind of messed up that she expects that of me.”

“Kind of?” I repeated. “I kind of think it’s super-messed-up, to be honest. I mean, this wasn’t that long ago, right?”

“December,” he said. “Not forever ago, but not yesterday.”

“No.” I studied his profile, unsure how I felt after hearing all of this. That was seven months ago, not six, and I didn’t know how long it took to get over a broken heart. “I don’t know what to say right now.”

That was true, because knowing this helped me understand, but it didn’t ease the ache in my chest. Or the simmer of jealousy in my gut, because I wanted...what Zayne felt for Layla, for him to feel that for me.

How could Layla not have chosen Zayne?

He was loyal and kind. He was smart and funny. He was strong and protective. He was the good guy with a very wicked side, if last night was any indication.

Zayne wasn’t perfect, but damn, he was close.

“Roth should’ve kept his damn mouth shut, because how in the Hell is he supposed to know how I feel or know what I want when I don’t even know?”

I clutched my knees. “What do you mean?”

Zayne shook his head. “I thought... I thought I did. Hell. For the last seven months, I thought I would only ever really want one person. Like really want to be with her, and that was how I felt until you laid my ass out in the training room. I wanted you then. Right there, on the damn mats. You have no idea how much restraint I had to use to not...” His hand curled in his lap, his knuckles bleaching white. “I don’t even think I ever wanted her like that. It was like a damn punch to the gut.”

My lips parted.

“It shocked me. That’s why I jumped off you. I’ve never felt such a...raw reaction to someone. I...I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to you. When I’m with you, I don’t think about her, and I sure as Hell don’t see her. I see only you. I just don’t know what that means. All I do know is that I never meant to hurt you.”

I believed him.

Tears crowded the back of my throat as I nodded. I did believe him, and somehow that made me want to let go and cry. I looked away, having no idea where that left me—left us.

No, that was a lie.

I did know.

“I like you, Trin, and I care about you. I do, and I know it means something,” he said, and when I didn’t look at him, I felt his fingers curl around my jaw, tilting my head back until I met his gaze. “And I do want you. Hell, I’m coming out of my skin from wanting you, and I feel like I’m... Like I’m drawn to you. It’s the craziest thing. Like I know where you are in the room without looking. When I told you back in the Potomac compound that I felt like I knew you, I wasn’t full of shit then. I do feel like that, and I...I can’t explain that.”

But.

There was a but lingering between us.

Zayne liked me. He cared for me. He wanted me. But he’d been burned. Badly. There was a fortress around him that didn’t just have to do with Layla, but also with his father and his own reckoning with his clan’s responsibilities. He didn’t know what he really needed.

I might not know what it was like to be in love or to love someone like he had, but I thought... I thought you knew if you really liked someone, that if there was a potential for that, even if you didn’t know a person for weeks, months or years, you just knew. And if you knew you really liked someone, you’d reach out and seize it. You’d chase after it.

And I knew that I really liked him, and I knew that even as messed up as things were right now, if he felt the same way, I’d reach out and seize it. I’d chase after it.

But I was pretty sure that, even with everything he’d said, he wasn’t going to go down that road with me. He wasn’t seizing or chasing anything. He wasn’t ready.

“It’s okay,” I said, and I forced a smile even though this didn’t feel okay.

It felt horrible.

Zayne’s fingers splayed across my cheek, and my eyes drifted shut. “Trin...”

My smile started to wobble, and I knew it was time for me to get some space. Everything had to be okay. I needed his help. He was going to need mine, and me crying wasn’t going to make things okay or any less awkward.

His thumb slid over my chin, just below my lip, causing me to suck in a shallow breath. I felt that gentle sweep all the way to the tips of my toes. “Are things really okay?”

I nodded, opening my eyes. “Yeah, I understand.”

Doubt clouded those beautiful eyes of his, but he smiled as he dipped his chin, pressing his lips to the center of my forehead. The kiss was like the one earlier in the garage, sweet and gentle, and completely devastating.

Pulling back, I slipped free and rose on unsteady legs. “I think... I’m tired. I mean, I am tired. I’m just going to head to bed.” It wasn’t even eleven o’clock yet. “Thank you for talking to me.”

He opened his mouth, but seemed at a loss for what to say. Finally, he a managed with a dry rasp, “Please don’t thank me right now.”

My chest spasmed as I nodded. I turned before I could do something...impulsive and reckless, like say screw the real, painful heartbreak that was sure to come down the road and climb into his arms, because I thought he’d let me do just that.

That he’d welcome it.

I couldn’t do that...because I was already starting to fall for him, and I couldn’t let that happen.

I had to be smarter than that.

I would be smarter than that.

Because I’d finally found someone I wanted, I yearned for, and I wasn’t going to play second fiddle to a past he was still working through.

Hurrying around the couch, I went straight for the bedroom, stopping at the opening. “Good night, Zayne.”

He remained on the couch, and as I started to close the door, he said, “Good night.”

I closed the door.

And I locked it.