Dirty Headlines by L.J. Shen

As far as I was concerned, crazy had a smell.

It was flowery body lotion and Chanel No. 5. And it diminished my appetite the minute it crawled into my nostrils through the open door of my office.

The day had been shitty to begin with. Judith was working hard on giving me the best fucking leads to land on my desk in the past year, while simultaneously avoiding me.

I wanted to marry Lily slightly less than I wanted to fuck a cactus on live television. I knew it would bring a lot of joy to my father to know I’d given up on world domination and Newsflash Corp, and that Maman would be terribly disappointed—not because she wanted grandchildren, but because she’d have loved for me to become the next Richard Branson. Regardless, I did deserve the media mogul throne. But even I had limits.

And they were currently being tested. The unbearably sweet scent was followed by a loud thump.

“Where is sheeeee?” a manic screech pierced the silence of the entire floor.

I looked up from my laptop and found my fiancée standing atop a desk in the newsroom, clad in one of her horrendously expensive wrap mini dresses and Louboutin heels. Always red. Always black. Lily didn’t have moods; she had obsessions with looking rich.

She grabbed a monitor and crashed it on the floor, sending Jessica and Elijah jumping backward with a shriek. Kate stood from her seat and galloped in Lily’s direction. I stood and made my way to the newsroom, looking for Jude. She wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Good. Lily wasn’t above starting a cat fight, but if I had to put my money on a winner, it would be Judith.

“Lily,” Kate said with calm authority, “if you want to leave this place without a security escort and handcuffs, I’d strongly suggest you remove yourself from the desk and stop breaking things.”

“Shut up, bitch. For all I know it’s you he’s having an affair with.” Lily sniffed, pointing her long fake nail at Kate.

I marched into the room and stopped at the desk she stood on. The rest of my newsroom stared up at Lily like she was Moses delivering the Ten Commandments, but she didn’t seem to notice me, perhaps because she was more occupied with having a public meltdown.

“So you think Célian is having an affair?” Kate tapped her lips, musing.

“I know he is! Someone has been coming to his building. I have eyes and ears everywhere.”

“Oh, Lordy,” Kate chirped.

Coincidentally or not, the desk Lily stood on belonged to Judith. I didn’t know how Jude would react if she found out her monitor had been smashed by this chick, but I was going to guess Lily wouldn’t be the only one screaming in this room.

“Lily, you’re embarrassing yourself, but more importantly, you’re an embarrassment to me. Get down immediately,” I commanded, snapping my fingers at her.

But as I said it, I realized that it wasn’t true. Lily did not embarrass me. In fact, she’d stopped triggering any type of emotion in me, and world domination just wasn’t quite enough to suffer her presence, even if only on paper.

We were a match made in Manhattan royalty heaven, but in the end, we’d put each other through hell. And in this very moment, I was done. If that meant that I was going to be a little less rich and a little less ruthless, I was willing to make that sacrifice to get rid of this pest.

Because even Lily’s dear family wasn’t enough anymore.

They weren’t mine. They’d never be mine.

“Who is she, Célian?” She stomped her foot on Judith’s notebook, denting the pages and creating a hole right in the middle.

My teeth slammed together, locking my jaw so a curse wouldn’t come out.

“Do you love her? Do you?” she whined.

I took my phone out, done with her games.

“You’d call security on your fiancée?” She raised her arms in wonder and her lack of panties showed. She was naked underneath the dress, no doubt for me.

“On the fucking pope, if he interfered with my staff’s work. Last chance before you spend the next few hours in jail,” I said dryly.

People behind me chuckled and whispered. I hated that we were a spectacle, but I liked that she’d played right into my hands. She’d just provided me with a golden opportunity to dump her ass with little to no social consequences, and Judith wouldn’t think it was about her.

Because it wasn’t.

Judith was just a fuck.

A brilliant fuck, but nonetheless a disposable one.

Lily lowered herself with a groan, sliding her ass to the desk and scooting down. She landed on her heels with a whimper and ran toward me, throwing her arms over my neck and weeping into my shirt.

“Why, Célian? I thought we were getting better, and now I have to hear that my fiancé is taking a new girl places? That she visits his building?”

I should have been disturbed by the amount of information Lily was privy to, but after all, her entire life consisted of sitting around in coffee shops and gossiping. For all I knew, she had socialite friends living in my building.

I retrieved Jude’s notebook and pocketed it. “Apologize to Kate and get into my office.”

Kate stood behind Lily and shook her head, telling me I shouldn’t let her get away with it.

“But she hates me.” Lily stomped her feet, whining.

“Can’t deny that.” Kate lifted her hands in surrender, and everyone laughed.

I looked around the human circle that had formed around us and realized everyone in it looked at Kate with love and Lily with sheer disgust.

As far as they were concerned, she was a spoiled little bitch. And as far as they were concerned, I endorsed that kind of behavior. I would berate someone for days for making a grammatical error in a news report, yet I was choosing to marry someone who thought yass was a word?

“Inside my office, right now,” I murmured through gritted teeth.

We turned and made our way to the hallway, and that’s when I saw Judith standing at the entrance of the newsroom, still clutching her phone to her ear. She was on a call, probably something Syria related. We were running a primetime special about it this weekend, and she’d been working extra hard to get all the numbers and statistics.

Her eyes ping-ponged between me and Lily for about ten seconds before she took a step aside and let us through.

Lily scowled at her, then barked, “What the hell are you looking at? You’re the prime suspect, bitch.”

“Huh?” Judith’s eyebrows shot up. She ended her call and tucked her phone into her pocket. “What is she talking about?”

“I’m talking about the woman who’s been keeping my fiancé up all nigh—”

But she never got to finish that sentence, because I pulled her into an embrace like she was an animal in captivity, slapping my hand over her mouth and dragging her into my office.

Judith turned a nice shade of tomato red, her eyes widening in alarm.

“Back to work, Humphry,” I barked.

“Yes, sir,” she said, but her voice flatlined, delivering the news that I was in even deeper shit than I’d previously thought.

In my office, Lily threw her body over the couch and began to sob.

“It’s the blond girl, isn’t it? She looks like a homewrecker. All sweet and pretty with her please-save-me cheap outfit. And Converse. Who wears fucking Converse with a dress?”

Judith Humphry does, and it makes me so hard I’m pretty sure the rest my body turns anemic.

“Shut up,” I ordered, bracing myself against my desk and staring her down.

I swear the teenaged version of her I’d dated over a decade ago had been sane. Shallow, but sane. Then again, when you’re a teenager, you’re not looking for a great intellectual opponent. Her ass and agreeable nature had been enough to keep me satiated for the first decade of our relationship.

“You know I can find out with little to no effort, right?” She perked up on the black leather couch, sniffing again. Her mascara ran down her cheeks in thick streaks, and it made her look like Alice Cooper, not to mention that her dress was more appropriate for a Vegas strip club than a newsroom. She unwrapped said dress, flashing me her tits and pink pussy.

“That won’t be necessary, and neither will strip teasing,” I deadpanned.

Her eyes brightened. “Does that mean you’re getting rid of her?”

“Not her. You,” I said simply.

We stared at each other for a few seconds while she digested this information, her face transforming from agonized to amused. Did she not understand English? Why was she so smug?

“You can’t break up with me. What about Newsflash Corp?”

“I’ll live without it. Getting rid of you is top priority. Put some clothes on.”

She stood up and shoved my chest, not moving me an inch—partly because I was braced against the desk, but also because I was quite literally twice her size. I wondered if she realized the right-hand wall of my office was made of glass, then remembered that she gave very little shit about who saw her naked.

“You’re a bastard. We grew up together. We’re childhood sweethearts.”

“If that’s your only defense, it’s lacking. Because I can crush it to pieces by bringing up something you did a little over a year ago.” I chuckled darkly. “Keep the ring, cancel everything else. There will not be a wedding in August, Lily. It’s over.”

And as I said that, I realized there was not even an ounce of me that was remorseful—not even for letting her keep my family’s ring (it was tainted once she’d worn it anyway) or the missed opportunity for so-called world domination Kate was always teasing me about.

“I’m going to make your life a living hell, Célian.” Lily wiggled her finger in my face. I took her finger and lowered it, wrapping her dress back around her waist for her.

“I dare you, sweetheart. It’s been too long since I showed you who I really am. I cannot wait for you to get reacquainted with the asshole version everyone else has been privy to for the past year, partly because of you.” I couldn’t dump all the blame on Lily, though. My father had taken the Worst Dad of the Century trophy, leaving others to eat dust.

“You’re insane!” she yelled in my face.

“That’s rich, coming from a half-naked woman who just broke a monitor and accused a gay, middle-aged woman of having an affair with her fake fiancé.”

“You’re weird. And a smartass. I don’t even like you anymore.” She walked over to the door, made a U-turn, stared at me helplessly, and shook her head. “Tell me how to make it right, and I will.” Her voice cracked around her plea.

“Get out.”

The door slammed in my face, and my eyes immediately traveled to the newsroom through the glass walls. Judith was staring at me, like she wanted my eyes to bleed out the truth of what had happened in my office. But I couldn’t invite her in. Not so soon after kicking Lily out. That would be transparent, downright risky.

I dialed Brianna’s extension and asked her to summon Judith for a one on one rundown meeting in three hours. I asked her to do the same for Kate, Elijah, and James. I had nothing to say to the last three. I just didn’t want it to look suspicious.

I fell into my seat and closed my eyes. A text message dinged on my phone, and I flipped it over to see who it was.

Dan: Your father is at a meeting right now, selling ad space to a Vegas-based marketing company that specializes in condoms, tobacco, gambling equipment, and sex toys. I’m sitting in the same restaurant. They’re talking seven figures.

This deal would be suicide for the LBC brand, and my father knew it. This was a prime example of how far he’d go to sabotage things for me.

Record everything please, I ordered.

It was time to take this matter to the board and bury what was left of my relationship with the man who hated me just a little less than I hated him.

Three meaningless conversations later (Kate was happy to know I’d called the engagement off with Lily; Elijah and I talked baseball; and James tried to give me some fatherly advice about women and relationships, only to be sent out with his tail between his legs.), Judith entered my office.

The minute she walked in, the urge to push her against the door, spread her legs, and fuck her relentlessly burned through my veins, but I settled for an easy smirk.

“Humphry.”

“Sir.”

I was seated behind my desk—something my erection was very grateful for—and I motioned for her to take a seat across from me. She did so obediently, her back straight. I handed her the notebook I’d managed to retrieve from Lily. It was wrinkled as fuck. Jude took it in shaky hands.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

“I’ll buy you another one.”

“I don’t want another one. I like this one.”

Fuck. Why did that make me even harder?

She shook her head, sighing. “You wanted to see me?”

“There are a few matters we need to discuss as a result of the unexpected appearance of Miss Davis at the newsroom.” I loosened my tie.

Jude smiled her sweet, innocent smile. “That’s a lovely way of describing a batshit crazy woman who broke a monitor and ruined my notebook, if I ever heard one.”

I smirked. Sat back. Knotted my fingers together. “I sent Brianna to the third floor to get one of James’ stylists to iron Kipling back into shape.”

Her eyes widened, her lower lip poking out. “How did you…?”

“Figured it out.” I waved her off.

Not quite. The mystery had occupied my mind for many long nights. So much so that I’d pieced together every encounter in which she’d mentioned Kipling. She’d had the notebook clutched in her palm in all of them.

Jude looked touched, and I needed her not to be, so I continued. “At any rate, Miss Davis will be in no position to further damage property or harass LBC employees anymore, especially seeing as I terminated our engagement.”

Which was really a nice way of saying we could go back to fucking peacefully without Judith giving me the third degree, just not in so many words.

“Is that why I’m here?” she asked, jutting her chin out. “Because you think I’ll jump back into your bed?”

“And couch. And office door. And fucking public toilet, if I say so.” I shrugged, sitting back and smirking at her.

“You’re wrong, Célian. When I told you I don’t do love, I meant it. But I don’t do casual, either. I need it to mean something. I was with Milton because I’m capable of having a relationship. I’m capable of giving.”

I really didn’t want to hear about that douche, Milton. At the same time, my growing need to fuck Judith might very well make my balls explode. I decided I would compromise my truth—if not bend it just a little—to accommodate her needs.

“I can do a discreet arrangement.”

“I don’t want an arrangement. I want a relationship.”

“Whatever you want to call it, Chucks. As long as you realize there is nothing at the end of that tunnel—no marriage, no wedding, no kids, and no cozy evenings watching Jeopardy with your dad—you can have it. Now pack a bag. We’re going to Miami for the weekend.”

I thought about all I’d said and decided to amend one thing. “Actually maybe Jeopardy is okay sometimes. Your pussy will need an occasional rest.”

“Miami?” Her eyes widened like I’d suggested Afghanistan. She recovered quickly, clearing her throat and adding, “We haven’t finished working on the Syria piece.”

Right. Fuck. Of course we still needed to wrap it up.

“We’ll work into the night.”

“I promised Dad I would watch the Yankees game with him.” She reddened.

I hated that I liked that about her—her fierce loyalty to her family. No matter how late she stayed at work, she somehow always made time for her pops.

But maybe Jude wasn’t anything special. Maybe I just had no idea how a normal family worked and was giving her extra credit.

“You may have the night off,” I said curtly. “I’ll send a cab to take you to the airport. Anything else?”

She stared at me for a few seconds, still blinking in disbelief. I guess I’d expected her to be happier about the news, but I didn’t exactly deliver it with flowers and sugary promises.

“You’re single?” she confirmed.

I raked my eyes over her. “Seems that way.”

“You broke it off with her?” She rubbed her forehead, looking around the room. Why? Was she expecting this to be a big prank? Clearly, she thought very little of me in the morals department.

“Do you need this in writing, Humphry?”

“That would be great, actually.”

I smirked. “Get your smart ass out of my office before I spank it.”

“You’re awful,” she said, getting up from her seat and walking back to the door.

I watched her every movement, wondering why I found her so fascinating, and inwardly asking myself what the fuck I was doing, taking this random chick to see my mother—Maman—who was still blissfully ignorant of the collapse of my engagement.

“You like awful,” I retorted.

She stopped by the door, bowed her head and shook it, laughing. When she left, the smell of hope crawled into my nostrils, the smell of her vanilla shampoo and gingery, spicy perfume.

And I had to admit, I liked it a whole a lot better.