I Dare You by Lylah James

“It’s strange to celebrate Christmas without Maddox,” Gran said. She handed me a cup of hot chocolate, and I reluctantly took it. The moment she started speaking of Maddox, I wanted to run upstairs and hide. They didn’t know that we had broken up… yet.

They knew about Maddox’s father. And so, I let them believe that Maddox was with his parents… hence why he hasn’t visited us… and I haven’t gone to him. Yet.

I only came back to my grandparents’ yesterday. Tonight was Christmas Eve. Maddox used to always spend the night with my family. He’d sleep on the couch (sometimes he’d sneak into my room) and we’d wake up, early in the morning, to open our presents. We’d have breakfast together.

Spending Christmas without him was another reminder of how quickly our relationship went from one hundred to zero.

This would have been our first Christmas as a couple. I grinded my teeth, feeling so hopeless… so helpless…

I remained silent, giving the TV all my attention. The movie ended. My grandparents said their goodnights and went upstairs to their room. The digital clock read 8PM, but they had a habit of going to bed early. Old age, they’d argue.

My eyes landed on the bowl of mixed party chips and loneliness clawed at me. Maddox would always separate my favorite kind from the rest and feed them to me. It’s the little things…

That was what I missed the most.

The little things.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts. When another knock came, I got up to answer the door. I didn’t know what I expecting, but it was definitely not him.

Agape, I sputtered, “Grayson?”

He looked different. Older, wiser… and a tad more handsome. He now had a beard, was still wearing glasses, and appeared to have gained more muscles. “Hey, can I come in?”

“Um, yeah, sure!” My voice came out squeaky. I haven’t seen him in years. After he broke up with Riley, we lost all contact.

Grayson came inside but stayed by the door. It was then I noticed the file he was holding. “I’ve tried calling Maddox, but he isn’t picking up. This is important and couldn’t be delayed.”

“What is?”

He squinted at me. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Well, shit,” he muttered under his breath. “This is awkward. I thought he told you already.”

“I haven’t talked to Maddox in weeks.”

His eyes rounded big, and he stared at me, agape. “You’re shitting me, right?”

I put my hands on my hips, glaring up at him. “Do I look like I’m joking?” I hissed.

Grayson raised his hands up, in mock defense. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to continue. He shifted on his feet, suddenly looking less serious and more nervous.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know exactly where to start…”

“Start at the beginning?” I prompted.

Grayson swallowed and nodded. “You might want to sit down.”

He followed me into the dining room, and we settled at the table. Courteously, I offered him a glass of water. I watched, as he rubbed his chin, looking everywhere but at me. He took a slow sip of water, and I waited patiently, as he licked his lips and finally made eye contact with me. “About eight months ago, Maddox approached Simon.”

Simon Manchester. Grayson’s adopted father, who also happened to be a well-respected judge. What would he see Simon for?

“Maddox has been digging into your accident. He’s been trying to reopen your case.”

My heart skipped, and my breath caught in my throat. My stomach dropped, and the world… ceased to exist.

The colors faded away.

Black and white… and then, I was violently thrown into the darkness.

“Lila? Lila! Hey, Lila!”

Grayson snapped his fingers in front of my face. I choked on my breath, and goosebumps peppered my flesh, as I stared at him, too stunned to move or to speak.

“Shit,” Grayson swore. “I shouldn’t have been the one to tell you this.”

“Why?” I croaked.

“What do you mean why?”

I blinked at Grayson. No, this wasn’t possible. “Why would he try to reopen my…case… Christian is his childhood friend.”

“That’s a question you should be asking him, not me. Because, I don’t have an answer for you. I can tell you what I know, though.” He patted my hand, a comforting gesture. “The Carmichaels are rich and protected by the law, in a way. They have way too much money and way too much power in their hands. Christian’s father is a well-known, albeit, corrupt lawyer. He knows how to go around the law and how to get it in his and his son’s favor. That’s what he did before. The judge that handled your case? That was his best friend. These people, they run in the same circle, Lila. There was no way you would have won your case.”

“I know,” I whispered. “But then, what’s the point in trying to reopen the case? We’d just lose. Again. Maddox wasted his time.”

Grayson shook his head, giving me a smile full of secrets. “What do you think he has been doing the last eight months?”

I opened my mouth, but found myself wordless. I didn’t know what to do with this news. Maddox hadn’t told me anything about this.

When I found out about Christian… he never said anything about reopening my case.

He never said anything about fighting for… me.

“Maddox spent two months, trying to convince my father to work with him on this case. Then, he spent another three weeks, trying to find the best and most trustworthy lawyer. After all that? We needed proof. We needed a reason to reopen the case. Rolland Carmichael covered his tracks very well. It was almost impossible to gather the proof we needed. It took us months… and months of carefully extracting all the information. And now, we have a solid case.”

Grayson nudged the file in front of me. “This is everything. The driver who took the blame? He’s ready to speak in court. The cops that were on scene… Christian’s friends who saw him drunk that night and getting into the driver’s seat. Oh, and the security camera. You can do a lot when you have lots of money at your disposal. Maddox threw some cash at some people… and the job was done.”

I didn’t dare touch the file, too scared it’d burn me alive.

The world spun and grew blurry, dots scurrying across my vision. “Maddox didn’t tell me…”

“I spoke with him last week. I told him I’d have everything by today, but he isn’t picking up my calls.”

“Last week? You mean, he was still working on this with you? All this time?” I felt faint and cold… so, so cold.

Grayson looked confused. “Yeah? Why is that surprising?”

“We broke up almost two months ago,” I confessed, breathlessly. My ears were ringing, and my lungs squeezed.

His mouth rounded with an ‘o,’ and he nodded, slowly. “I don’t know your reasons for breaking up, but Maddox has been very adamant about bringing you the justice you deserve.”

And that…

That statement… decimated me.

Killed me. Ripped me apart.

Maddox wanted to bring me justice, to give me the closure I needed. All along, he was on my side.

All this time, he had been trying to protect me.

Oh God, how foolish I was. How stupid I had been. How careless I was with his heart.

My gaze landed on the brown file, and I swallowed back a cry. “Thank you, Grayson.”

He cleared his throat. “You’re welcome. I’ll see myself out.”

I closed my eyes and brought my head down to the table, resting my forehead on the surface. Grayson got up to leave, but my voice stopped him. “Riley is back in town for Christmas.”

He coughed and thumped his chest. “I didn’t need to know that.”

Without lifting my head up, I waved him away. “Well, now you know. Do what you want with it,” I said.

Long after Grayson had left, I found myself in bed, with my phone in my hand. I debated calling Maddox. It wasn’t late at night, and I knew he’d still be awake, right now. If I called him, it wouldn’t go to voicemail, like it always did.

If I called him… he might pick up.

And maybe that was why I wanted to do it.

I wanted to hear his voice – not a recording. I wanted to speak with him, ask him why. Why he didn’t tell me? Why he kept it a secret – another secret? Why he let me believe the worst… and why he kept working on the case, even after we broke up?

I had so many questions and absolutely no answers.

The pain burned deep into my core. Maddox was secretly taking care of me… when I left him behind, especially when he needed me the most. Now all my reasons for doing so, appeared moot.

My lungs denied me breath, and tears burned the back of my eyelids.

Maddox and I were foolishly in love…

And now? Look at us.

My thumb pressed the call button, before I could overthink it. I brought the phone to my ear, and, after two rings, Maddox answered the call.

“Hello?”

His voice. Lord, have sweet mercy on me. That gruff, deep baritone, husky voice. I missed it so much. I didn’t know how much I had needed to hear his voice until now.

I tried to clear my throat, because I suddenly forgot how to speak.

“Hello?” he said again, curt and irritated. My lips twitched. He was always so impatient, just as I remembered. Some things never change.

My heart thundered. My lips parted to speak.

“Oh my God!” There was a happy giggle and then, “The baby kicked again. He’s literally playing football in there. Maddox! Here, feel it.”

My chest caved.

My pulse beat heavy in my throat.

My fingers twitched around my phone, tightening as I was assaulted with a wave of anguish.

Maddox sucked in a deep breath, and I imagined his big hand on Bianca’s swollen belly. “Damn,” he muttered. I imagined the look of awe on their faces, as they felt their baby kicking.

Tormented, I squeezed my eyes shut. “Merry Christmas,” I whispered brokenly, before hanging up.

Rolling over in bed, I pushed my face in my pillow and finally… for the first time, since we broke up…

I let the tears fall.

I screamed.

I cried.

I raged.

And I cried some more.

I sobbed, until I didn’t have any more tears.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.