Do You Dare? by Lylah James

CHAPTER TWENTY

Lila

Two months later

I stayed by my locker after the last bell rang, keeping a close eye on Riley and Grayson. She approached him, blushing and stuttering as she asked him about yesterday’s homework. It was an excuse to talk to him. They chatted for less than five minutes before Riley gave Grayson a warm smile and bounced away.

It was so quick; anyone would have missed it. But I was looking and I caught Grayson watching her leave, his stare intense and his lips twisting with amused smile. Grayson rarely ever smiled.

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed someone else watching the encounter. Colton had his hands shoved in the pockets of his beige slacks as he leaned against his locker. His jaw clenched, and I swore the corners of his eyes twitch. No, that must have been my imagination.

But something was up with him, and it piqued my curiosity.

I snuck a glance at my phone, half expecting a text to pop up, but… nothing. Damn it, I was starting to worry now.

“Colton,” I called out as he walked past me.

He paused and jerked his chin up at me in greeting. “Sup, Lila?”

“Did you see Maddox today? He’s not replying to my texts or answering my calls,” I asked cautiously.

An unreadable expression passed over Colton’s face, and he scratched his chin before looking down at his own phone as if waiting for it to light up with a text, too. “No. He’s not replying to mine either.”

That was weird. Maddox never went radio silent on us, well… me before today. In fact, he was always the first to pester me in the early morning and until late at night with his horrible and silly jokes.

Maddox: What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?

Me: Idk. Let me sleep.

Maddox: A zebra with a sunburn.

He always found a random joke to tell me at night; that was our goodnight. At first, I didn’t know if it was weird, annoying or… sweet. But after a few weeks, I’d grown used to it and had come to expect it every night after I climbed into bed.

Maddox: What’s green and sits crying in the corner?

Me: Bye.

Maddox: The Incredible Sulk. C’mon, admit it. This one is funny.

Me: Ha. Ha. Ha. G’night.

Maddox’s face faded into the background as I focused my attention on Colton again. “Is something…wrong? What about the surprise party we’re throwing him later today?”

Two months after our truce and the beginning of our friendship, Maddox had successfully passed the semester with good enough marks to keep his scholarship at Harvard.

I knew Maddox would never back down from a dare because he was no loser. But Maddox Coulter forgot to mention he was a genius. Not Einstein genius, but we all thought he was never paying attention to his classes. Apparently, he was, and he wasn’t braindead like I believed. In fact, Maddox was probably smarter than me, and this was something I begrudgingly admitted. His brain was working overtime to catch up on his classes, and he did it. Quite successfully.

One semester down.

One more to go.

After our exam marks came in, we decided to throw Maddox a little surprise party. Just his close friends, nothing too big. That was supposed to be tonight.

Except Maddox was nowhere to be found.

“Sometimes…”

I looked at Colton, waiting for him to continue. “What?”

“He likes to disappear for a day or two,” Colton slowly admitted.

“So, something is wrong?”

He must have seen the alarm on my face because he was already shaking his head. “Not exactly. It’s just… some days, Maddox gets low. He doesn’t like to be around people when he’s feeling like that.”

I grabbed my shoulder bag and slammed my locker close. “Do you know where he is right now? Where he goes when he’s like this?”

Colton gripped my shoulder, his face intense as he pinned me with a harsh stare. “Listen, Lila. It’s best you leave him alone when he’s like this.”

“He’s my friend,” I claimed out loud.

Colton let out a humorless laugh. “He’s my best friend. So what?”

“I know him.” I wrenched away from his grasp and glared.

“I know him better than you,” he said simply. “I’ve known him since we were kids.”

But he hasn’t seen Maddox like I had… trapped in that broom closet, screaming to be let out… crying and begging for someone to save him.

Colton didn’t see that Maddox. I had. I held him and sung to him.

I gnawed at my lower lips, Colton’s warnings ringing in my ears, but my need to run to Maddox and to make sure he was okay was strong.

“Don’t do it, Lila. Leave him alone. He’ll come back when he’s ready.”

I hefted my bag over my shoulder and stepped away from him. “Here’s something you need to know about me, Colton. I don’t listen well to warnings.”

“You can’t fix him,” he said to my back.

No, I couldn’t.

But that was the thing… I didn’t want to fix him.

I wanted to hold his hand.

Nothing more; nothing less.

So, I did the opposite of what Colton told me. I took a bus to Maddox’s house, er… mansion. That would be my first stop, and I hoped he was there. If not, then I was about to go on a wild goose chase. If he didn’t want to see me, I’d leave – but after making sure he was alive.

The Maddox I knew didn’t disappear and go radio silent on his friends.

No, the Maddox I befriended was an annoying, pestering jerk. Like the time he gave me roses.

Maddox was walking toward me with... flowers? What the hell?

I leaned against my locker and gave him a look, a look that said–what are you up to now?

He halted in front of me with a smirk I wanted to smother with a pillow. I raised an eyebrow and nodded to the flowers in his hands. “What are those?”

“Roses,” he said, looking mighty proud of himself.

“For you.” I rolled my eyes.

“They’re dead, Maddox.”

He gave me a petulant look, like a child who had their favorite toy taken away. “Yeah, dead like my heart because you won't let my dick anywhere near you because you friend zoned me. So here you go. Roses for you, Garcia.”

“You need to see a shrink. I don't think you're mentally stable,” I announced, already walking away from him.

He fell into step beside me. “You won't accept my roses? I'm hurt.”

My lips twitched. Okay, it was really hard to stay serious when Maddox was in one of his pranking moods.

“You're so fucking silly. I don't know if I should laugh or... be concerned.”

“Anything to see that smile on your face,” he said with a grin.

And it was then I noticed, I was smiling. It had been a frustrating day, one of those days where nothing seemed to go my way. I was feeling moody and a tad bitchy, but here I was…

Instead of being annoyed with Maddox like I would have been before our truce, I was smiling. Fuck, this wasn’t good. He couldn’t have me smiling so easily.

“Are you flirting with me, Coulter?” I still couldn't wipe the grin off my face.

“Are you falling for it, Garcia?” He shot back, his eyes dancing with mischief.

“No,” I deadpanned.

“Good. The harder you play to get, the more fun this game is.”

“I'm not playing hard to get. We're friends,” I stretched out the last word, putting more emphasis on it. Because obviously, Maddox didn't understand the meaning of 'just friends.’

Maddox let out a small chuckle. "Oh, I know. Besties forever. I'll do your nails and you'll do my hair type of shit.” He paused, glancing down at me with a wicked smirk that should have warned me of what was about to come out of his mouth. “That won't stop me from trying to slide into your ass though.”

I missed a step and stumbled forward before quickly regaining my footing. Sputtering, I glared at him. “My... ass...?”

Why did my voice come out like a squeak? Damn you, Maddox. You and your filthy mouth and dirty thoughts.

Maddox put himself in front of my path, so he was walking backward, facing me. “I'm an ass man, baby. You got enough to fill my two hands. And my hands are big enough to handle you.”

Hmm. Oh really? He was almost too easy because I just found the MC’s weakness.

“My ass makes you weak?”

He nodded. “Weak to the fucking knees.”

I paused, lifted my chin up and regarded him with a regal look. If I made him weak in the knees, then...

“Great. Get to your knees and beg for it then. You might change my mind if you ask nicely.”

He blinked, looking bewildered. “Wait, really?”

“Try and we'll see.”

I forced myself not to laugh at the hopeful expression on his face. Poor baby. Maddox quickly got on one knee, in a proposal stance and presented me with the bouquet of dead roses. He gave me his most sincere look and asked, “Can I please fuck your ass?”

He said the words as if he was asking me to marry him, and this was some grand proposal. Don't laugh, Lila. Don't. You. Dare. Laugh.

I brought a hand up, tapping my index finger against my jaw in a thoughtful manner. His eyebrows furrowed, and he started to look suspicious.

I let my own smirk show. “Hmm. Not nice enough for me. Sorry, try again next time.”

“What?” He let out a mock gasp, but I caught the grin on his face before I stepped around him.

Giving him a final glance over my shoulder, I winked.

“What a man would do for a piece of ass,” he grumbled loud enough for me to hear.

I marched away, and maaaybeee, I put an extra sway in my hips–giving him a good look of the ass he wanted so much but couldn't have. What could I say in my defense? It was fun teasing a man like Maddox.

I smiled as the memory faded away, and the bus came to a stop at Maddox’s place. I had been here a few times, even got to know his butler, Mr. Hokinson. I didn’t know people in this day and age had butlers, but apparently, people as rich as the Coulters did, in fact, have butlers.

I waved at the guard and walked through the gate. Mr. Hokinson was already at the door, as I expected. He must have been alerted by the gatekeeper the moment I stepped foot onto the property.

“Good afternoon, Miss Garcia,” he said politely with a slight southern drawl and a little bow. Cute, old Mr. Hokinson.

“Is Maddox home?” I asked, sounding hopeful even to my own ears.

He gave me a tentative nod, as if this was a secret. “He is, Miss Garcia. But he hasn’t left his room since this morning. He didn’t come down for breakfast or lunch, so we know to leave him alone.”

My fists clenched at my sides. “And his parents?”

Mr. Hokinson swallowed, averting his gaze from mine, but didn’t answer. Ever so loyal, what a fucking joke.

“I wish to see him.”

He sidestepped into my path when I tried to walk around him. “I’m sorry, but I can’t allow you.”

I raised an eyebrow and gave him a polite smile, even though I was feeling anything but. “Please tell me, Mr. Hokinson. Did Maddox tell you to keep me outside? Has anyone specifically said I’m not allowed into this house? Because from what I remember… Maddox said I can come and go any time I want. I have free rein, don’t I? Even you’re aware of that.”

The old man blinked and pursed his lips in silence. “Are you going against his words? I’m not sure he’s going to like that.”

“He–”

“I just want to know if he’s okay, and I’ll leave,” I interrupted before he could give me another excuse. Before Mr. Hokinson could stop me, I walked around him and into the house.

I took the stairs two at a time to his room. His door wasn’t locked, but I still knocked. Once, twice… four times, but there was no reply.

With caution, I opened the door and peeked inside. Nothing. Empty. Bare. No Maddox.

I walked inside to find the heavy drapes still down, blocking any sunlight from entering the dark room. There was something gloomy about the atmosphere. His bathroom’s door was open, though, and I could hear the water running.

There he was...

My brain stuttered for a moment and a shocked gasp escaped me. The sight of him had me stumbling and rushing into the bathroom. “Maddox!”

No. No. Please, no.

I fell to my knees beside the overfilled tub. He sat inside, fully clothed with an empty bottle of…

God, no.

Maddox stunk of alcohol and cigarettes. I almost gagged at how heavy the smell was. His eyes were closed, his head barely staying above water. My heart fell to the pit of my stomach, cramped and twisting with nausea at the distraught look on his beautiful face. There were shadows under his eyes, as if he didn’t sleep the night before.

I cupped his cheek. “Hey, Maddox.” I gave him a gentle shake.

His bloodshot eyes fluttered open, and I could see the naked pain in his eyes. Maddox, strong and carefree Maddox, looked… beaten. Not physically. There were no injuries marking his body, but he looked wounded in spirit.

“Oh, baby. What happened?” He didn’t respond, not that I was expecting a reply.

“Go away,” he grumbled under his breath. God, he was pissed drunk. How many drinks did he have?

“And leave you in the tub like this?” I asked gently. “I can’t leave you now, Maddox.”

Maddox closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping further into the water. “Don’t… need a… lecture.”

There was a strain in his voice–a voice that used to be full of warmth – now so cold and… empty.

“We need to get you to bed. You can sleep this off, but you need a bed. Not a tub full of ice water.”

Maddox was stubborn, but so was I.

He gritted his teeth, a storm flashing across his face. “Fuck… off. Leave.”

“No.”

He let out an empty laugh. “Then how about… you shut the fuck up… and sit on my dick instead? Be a nice… give me good… pussy and cheer me… up, why don’t you?”

That was drunk Maddox speaking, I reminded myself. He was barricading himself against me, trying to be hurtful and mean–to push me away.

I blew out a frustrated breath and reached under his armpits, pulling him up. He sat forward, and the water sluiced onto the sides. I turned off the running tap with one hand while supporting Maddox’s limp body against the crook of my arm. “I’m going to ignore what you just said. But still, you need to get out of this tub before you catch pneumonia,” I mumbled. “Don’t be a jerk.”

His clothes were soaked through, and I couldn’t get him in bed in this state. Shit.

His eyes closed, and his head slumped over my shoulders, with his nose buried in my neck. A shiver racked through my body because Maddox was practically freezing as I dragged him out of the tub.

“I’m sorry,” I said in a low voice. “But I’m going to have to get you out of these clothes.”

Maddox was going to catch a cold if I left him like this. He mumbled something under his breath as a response. He settled on the edge of the tub as I peeled his wet shirt over his head. It wasn’t my first-time seeing Maddox shirtless, but I still found myself pausing to stare.

Maddox was ripped, sculptured and…

No, stop! Don’t look.

I averted my gaze and worked efficiently, trying my hardest not to stare longer than I needed at his naked body. He slurred more profanities at me, but I chose to ignore all of them. Once he was clad in his grey sweatpants and a shirt I found lying on the floor in his room, I dragged Maddox out of the bathroom.

My knees almost buckled under his weight. “Jesus, you’re heavy.”

He snorted in response as his body shuddered violently.

I hated this. So fucking much.

I was angry, so goddamn furious, that nobody thought to check on him. His parents or Mr. Hokinson. Anyone, damn it! What if I hadn’t found him when I did? He could have accidentally drowned himself or… worse.

I was livid and fuck…

My heart ached.

How could Maddox be so careless? Didn’t he understand how precious life was… and how easily it could slip out of our grasp? In a blink of an eye… everything–gone.

Tears burnt the back of my eyes, and I sniffled. “Why, Maddox? God, why?”

“Stop being a bitch… come and sit on my dick if... you won’t stop yapping…” he slurred.

“I’m going to throw you on your ass if you throw one more insult at me, Maddox,” I warned him. He stumbled and jerked out of my grasp, swearing under his breath.

“You're all bark and no fucking bite, Garcia,” Maddox snarled, his eyes opened into slits.

He was angry – about something. I didn’t know what, but if I could take a lucky guess, it had to do with his parents.

I understood that. But he didn't have to be an asshole.

When he stumbled again, his legs giving out under him, I grabbed his arm and hauled him to bed. Once he settled on the mattress, he swatted my hand away. It didn't hurt, but it still stung.

With my hands on my hips, I squinted down at him. “Don't do this, Maddox. I'm going to walk away.”

The warning gained me a reaction, a small one.He opened his bloodshot eyes and stared at me, his expression a mask of unfiltered pain. “Then go. That's what they always do anyway. Walk away.”

Goddamn it, did he have to hurt my heart like this?

I rubbed a hand over the ache in my chest, attempting to relieve the dull pain there.

“There is no reason for you to be mean to me when I'm only trying to help,” I said softy, running my fingers through his wet hair. “Don't push me away.”

Maddox let out a mocking laugh and closed his eyes. So be it.

I got off the bed and was only able to take a step away before he grabbed my hand. Firm and strong, even in his state. “Don't go. Don't leave…me," he croaked. The cracks in his voice made me pause. “I'm scared… scared of being alone.”

I settled back on the bed again, all fight leaving me in one breath.

Maddox wasn't complicated in ways everyone liked to believe. Once I got to know him, I really saw him, the real him, and realized that he only hid behind a mask.

“You can't do this, Maddox. You can't be an asshole and then ask me to stay with that look on your face.” Like a kicked puppy, a lost boy, a broken man. My sweet Maddox, with a heart of gold.

“Don't wanna lose you,” he mumbled. Maddox grasped my hand in his, albeit clumsily, because he was still really drunk. Our fingers interlaced together, and his hold tightened.

I gave his hand a squeeze in comfort and in warning. “I don't do toxic relationships.”

His eyes cracked open, and he gave me a small smile. There was something melancholy about it. He had the appearance of a desperate man, starving and reaching blindly toward something, but it always escaped out of his grasp before he could grab hold. Maddox was breaking my heart, and there was nothing I could do to end this suffering.

“We're not in a relationship.”

I knew that but I still asked. Maybe I was a glutton for pain. “Then, what are we?”

His gaze fixated on me again, eyes so blue they looked like the midwinter sky – beautiful yet dreary. “You're... more,” he whispered the confession. “Don’t leave, Lila.”

He said my name like a prayer, as if he was whispering all his hopes to heaven.

With that said, he closed his eyes again, and this time, he was no longer conscious. I looked down at our hands, and I swallowed back my tears. “What are you doing to me, Maddox?”

Before I could think twice about my actions, I climbed under the comforter and joined him. His body was still cold, but slowly regaining its warmth. Under the strong smell of alcohol and tobacco, his scent still lingered. Warm, rich and earthy…

I didn’t know when it happened or why I didn’t realize it until now, but Maddox’s familiar scent brought me comfort.

I curled into his side; our fingers still intertwined. He needed me; he needed his friend. “I’m not leaving. Pinky swear.”

Maddox was bad.

There was a boy once, a boy just like him, who ruined me and left me scarred.

Maddox was everything I stayed away from; he was everything I didn’t need in my life.

I told myself… never again. I’d never let myself be weak around men like Maddox.

But no matter how much I tried to walk away, to put distance between us, to somehow end this friendship… he wouldn’t let go.

He was bad. He smoked, he was too hasty about life, he liked to break the law, he broke girls like me – he left a trail of shattered hearts behind him, and he didn’t care about anything. I thought… maybe it was because no one taught him how to care for another human being.

I saw a few glimpses of the Maddox he tried to hide from everyone, the Maddox who just wanted his parents’ approval – that Maddox was starving for attention.

There were a hundred reasons why he was bad for me.

But all those reasons became insignificant when I realized he didn’t want to hurt me. At first, I was skeptical. I was waiting for Maddox to do what he was best at – break hearts.

But he didn’t.

Weeks went by.

Two months passed.

I realized Maddox Coulter was a little bit ruined, a little bit messy, a little bit broken -- a beautiful disaster.

Like me.

All those reasons were no longer important, because every morning, he’d wait outside my Grandparents’ home, he’d hand me a muffin and follow my bus to school. Every afternoon, he’d sit with me and study – something he hasn’t done in years. He hated studying, he hated opening a textbook, but he did it anyway. Because of a dare, because of me – he did it for me.

It was silly, it was something so little, yet…

I couldn’t let go of my friend.

He was annoying but hilarious. He was the world’s biggest asshole – a douchebag by definition. In fact, he’d take that trophy home. Asshole of the decade.

He angered me, made me want to scream in frustration, he drove me utterly crazy, but as much as he had me sighing in exasperation and rolling my eyes… he made me smile.

Maddox was out of his mind: too careless, too reckless, too foolish.

But he was the chaos to the perfect world I had built around me – a world where I kept my heart carefully guarded.

Miss Perfectionist, he liked to say.

Hmph. Maddox made my world a little bit less… perfect. Was she okay with this? Is this the realization she came to here?