Bad Boss by Stella Rhys

37

SARA

I wasn’tsure if Julian expected me at work the next morning, and even less sure when I awoke a tad before seven to find that he was gone. I frowned as I sat up in bed, my eyes floating about the room as I tried to remember him leaving. I didn’t, and I didn’t recall feeling him touch me in any way before he went.

Thankfully, when I checked my texts, I found one from him.

JULIAN:Good morning. I’ll be needing you to come in to work this morning. If you could meet me in my office by 9, that would be great.

I rubbed my eyes, smirking at the stiff professionalism of his message.

ME:Yes sir. Will do. ;)

There was no response from Julian by the time I’d finished getting dressed, and in all fairness, I hadn’t asked a question.

But I couldn’t help feeling strangely on edge.

I didn’t want to admit it to myself as I got dressed and ready for work, but by the time I’d squeezed myself on the packed rush hour train, I had to admit that I was paranoid he’d woken up and regretted it.

Those three words.

They hadn’t been easy to say either, but I’d been consumed by the moment – by the palpable emotion stirring in the air between us. It felt good to get off my chest. It felt even better when Julian looked me in the eye and returned the words.

But today, something felt undeniably off.

I couldn’t explain it, and I still hoped I was imagining things, but any hope of that was nixed the moment I walked into the bright offices of Hoult Communications.

I was greeted by the usual hum of fast typing and murmured chatting. That was normal.

But the way Colin avoided me was not.

I had gotten out only half my question about how he was doing before he muttered “sorry” and some hasty excuse about needing to meet with Tori. That was strike one.

Strike two came when I got to Julian’s office and found him sitting and chatting with a young but silver-haired woman I didn’t recognize. He had the jacket of his sharp blue suit off and draped over his chair. The sunlight streaming through the window bounced straight off his watch and into his face, forcing me to shield my eyes even as the woman across from Julian turned and flashed me a warm smile.

“Oh! This must be Sara.”

“Indeed it is.”

I cocked my head, smiling politely despite my confusion, and despite the odd feeling churning in my stomach. I didn’t recognize the look in Julian’s eyes this morning. Despite his friendly, cordial tone as he facilitated my introduction to the mystery woman, his eyes were oddly vacant. He looked cold and steely – nothing like the man who had grabbed me the moment he laid eyes on me last night, and kissed me like it was his last chance to ever feel my lips.

Then again maybe it was.

“Who was that?” I asked the moment the woman left. Her name was Grayson Short, and she knew all about my journalism major, as well as my work with June Magazine. But by the time she walked out, I’d discovered nothing about her besides her name.

Julian nodded for me to take a seat before him.

“Grayson works with Hoult Publishing. She’s the person who is arranging your move to Una Magazine.”

My eyebrows shot up high. I was still suspicious, on edge, but I gave a big grin. The corners of my lips trembled a bit as I tried to figure out what was going on.

“So… I’m not going to stick around for the Roth negotiations?” I asked.

“No,” Julian replied. “You’re not.”

“Why not?”

“The opening for this position with Una is time sensitive. It’s a spot people are vying for, and if your goal is to work with the company, I would suggest you jump at this chance.”

I couldn’t reconcile the way I was feeling. The fact that I might actually work for Una Magazine made me want to twirl through the air and text every person I’d ever met the good news. At the same time, I fucking hated the sterile manner in which Julian was speaking to me. It felt cruel and insulting, and I tried telling myself he was just in work mode, but I wasn’t convinced.

He could’ve flashed me a little smirk or some knowing smile. He could have texted and given me a warning about maintaining a work appropriate relationship the moment we were back at the office.

But he did none of that. He launched straight into the strict professionalism, and it felt like a statement.

My fury went from zero to sixty as he went on about Grayson, her work, her credentials, and a million things that didn’t come close to acknowledging the sudden wall between us. I sat patiently through half his talk, because I still had the annoying instinct to mirror professionalism in an office setting.

But then I remembered I wasn’t sitting across from my boss.

I was sitting across from the man who only last night told me he loved me.

“Julian – what the hell is going on?” I demanded, finally snapping when I heard him mention Hoult Publishing International for the third time. “Why are you talking to me like this? And why do you keep mentioning Hoult International? What do they have to do with this conversation?”

Julian didn’t even flinch.

“There were no open positions at Una Magazine in the States,” he said, his expression blank. “The position I’m setting you up with is for Una U.K. Based in London.”

My heart slammed against my ribs as I stared at him.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, my voice reduced to a harsh whisper. “Julian, what are you trying to do to me right now?”

“I’m telling you the truth when I say there was no available position in the States,” Julian said. A slight frown appeared between his brows as he looked at me. “I can’t have you working here anymore, Sara. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t do this to me, Julian,” I said between my teeth. “I know you’re in there, and I know you recognize how fucked up this is right now.” The anger in my chest boiled, rising to my throat as he continued sitting there, a statue in a suit, giving me absolutely nothing. “At least give me the explanation,” I demanded, wishing I didn’t sound as shaky as I did. But at least I was talking. Julian continued with his silence as he sat there, studying me with the eyes that usually gave away his emotions.

Right now, they were empty. Like he’d flipped the switch back to being the unfeeling person he was before we met.

I didn’t realize it would be so easy for him. I thought like me, he had changed gradually. That together, we’d found a new side of him the way we did with me. At this point, there was no way I could get rid of what I’d discovered about myself – about how much I could open myself up, and how deep I could actually feel.

But apparently Julian was wired differently.

And I should’ve fucking guessed.

“What happened yesterday?” I challenged, refusing to back down without a straight answer. “Tell me what happened, because I know you meant it when you said it, Julian,” I hissed, my heart hammering as I watched his blue eyes spark to life. “I know you did. And yes, I entertain a lot of dreams and fantasies, but I’m not the type to imagine things, or see something where there’s nothing. I’m not by nature a hopeful person – you know that by now,” I ground out. “So if you refuse to let yourself feel for me anymore, then fine. I won’t grovel. But at least, explain to me what happened here, because you said you loved me last night, and a day later, you’re trying to get me as far away from you as possible. You know how cruel you’re being right now. And you know I deserve an answer.”

My hands were shaking. I didn’t know when I rose to my feet, but I did. And now I stood waiting for what felt like ages, because as always, Julian took his time to reply.

“This company is and always will be my priority, Sara,” he finally said, sinking my heart like a stone. “This company is how I found my way back to my family. It takes all of me to run both this place and the stadium the way I see fit.” He paused, the sharp lines of his jaw tightening. “I’ve never wanted something like I’ve wanted you, Sara,” he said, his voice a low murmur. “But what I want and what I need are two very different things.”

“I don’t feel like you mean that,” I whispered.

“I do,” Julian countered, his frown deepening. “I’m content around you, Sara. Borderline complacent, and I can’t afford that. We both need to focus on ourselves right now, Sara. We both have a lot of work to do.”

It was a last slap in the face, because all I heard was, “You’re a work in progress. Too far from together for me to bother with.”

My entire body trembled as I stood there staring at the shell of Julian Hoult – the person Emmett had warned me about. He was back on autopilot, content to simply sit there without saying another word. I shook my head in sheer disbelief. I couldn’t bring myself to accept this reality, but after another minute of silence, it was clear this was the only option I was getting.

And like I’d told him, I refused to grovel. If there was anything I was vehemently against, it was being that girl again – the one who’d do anything to be wanted, when clearly she wasn’t. I absolutely refused.

So with one last look at Julian, I turned on my heel, and I forced myself to go.