Sweet Spot by Stella Rhys

26

LIA

“Don’t worry. I’ll get that box from Ritchie and I’ll ship it to you wrapped in lots of bubble wrap, so nothing breaks,” Dad said as I sat with him in the corner of the living room, both of us watching Lukas chat with Uncle Ted and Aunt Lynn at the dining table, which they’d covered with their “good” tablecloth. It was white linen with embroidery at the scalloped edges. Good Lord, I thought as I watched Uncle Ted and Lukas grinning wide at each other over whatever the heck they were talking about. Probably something embarrassing for me.

“Don’t worry, Dad,” I said quietly. “It’d be nice if you could ship the box, but you don’t have to. It’s probably just old cookware and stuff we used to make chocolates with.”

“If it’s stuff you need to make chocolates for the new… distributor?”

“Yes. Distributor.”

“If it’s stuff you need for that, I’ll drive over there myself and get it right now,” Dad said, sounding a little riled up as he sat forward on his chair, adjusting his glasses. I looked at him with a smile, trying not to laugh at how adorably huge his already-big eyes looked behind those thick lenses.

“It’s really okay, Dad. I don’t need it. The chocolate I’m about to make for the distributor is all getting made in a commercial kitchen. I’ll probably be starting as soon as possible because they’re gonna be big batches. In fact, I’m probably going to need to hire extra hands, which is exciting because it’ll be my first chance to…” I trailed off because Dad was nodding along in the way that he did when he wasn’t listening. I laughed as he pointed curiously at Lukas.

“He have kids?”

“No, why?” I asked, turning to look into the dining room again. My little cousin, Henry, had come around for the tenth time with a new toy to show off to Lukas.

“He’s good at pretending to be interested,” Dad said genuinely. “I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the things Henry shows me. Kid’s cute but I’m just not good at that stuff.” When he frowned down in his lap, we both fell quiet for a bit. “But hey, you know I’m not a very good dad. What do I need to tell you for.”

I took his hand. “Hey. The way we started doesn’t have to be the way we end. I know we have a lot of time to make up for, but we can start visiting each other more from here on out. We don’t have to stay stuck in our ways.”

“But our ways are the easiest things to get stuck in,” Dad laughed. “I’m teasing. I think you’re right. We’ll start seeing each other more from now on, and it can start with me bringing that box from Ritchie’s house to you in Manhattan. That’s a good start, right?”

“As long as the box isn’t too heavy,” I grinned as Henry came running to us.

“Uncle Luke said – ”

“Whoa, hey, Uncle Luke?” I snorted, unable to contain my surprise. When I looked up at Lukas, he grinned and shrugged. “Sorry, Henry, I interrupted you. What did, uh… what did Uncle Luke say?”

Henry held up his toy Harley Davidson for me to hold. “Uncle Luke said his friend has this one in real life! Like a big one you can sit on. He said if Mommy lets me, you can come with us to see the bikes in real life. And maybe sit on them.”

“I see.” I shot a funny look at Lukas that he cocked his head at. “That sounds good, Hen. You let me know when Mommy thinks it’s a good time to look at the bikes and I’ll make sure I have the day off.”

“Yesss.” Henry pumped his fist with a victory snarl on his face that we all laughed at. As if that weren’t cute enough, I was then treated to the sight of Henry racing over to Lukas, taking his hand and walking him down the hall to his room. “I’ll let you come to my room to look at the rest of my toys,” he offered grandly. “I don’t like people touching my toys but you can play with them.”

“Whoa,” Aunt Lynn raised her eyebrows high. “Did your boyfriend finally teach my son how to share? Because we’ve been getting calls from school about that problem.”

“Well, I’m glad we could be of some help,” I grinned as Dad tugged on my arm. He pointed down the hall.

“That one? I like that one so much better than Ritchie.”

“Oh, trust me, Dad. I do, too.”

“You hold onto that one.”

“Yeah, that’s what the diner waitress told me, too.”

“Hah?”

“My waitress at the diner. She told me to hold onto him with both hands.”

Dad nodded. “Well, if she was my age or older, then listen to her. People our age – we know our stuff.”

I giggled, especially as Aunt Lynn nodded down the hall with a finger to her lips, suggesting I follow her to spy on Lukas and Henry. I gladly did so, going as far as to slip out of my shoes to tiptoe quietly toward Henry’s room, my heart melting when I spotted Lukas sitting on the floor across Henry, his knees bent and his muscled arms draped over them as he helped Henry assemble a toy truck. Next to him, Henry watched in awe, handing him the pieces. All the while, the two conversed casually about some new recess policy at Henry’s school – no more dodgeball, apparently.

I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. Or maybe squealing, I wasn’t sure. I was so touched and so charmed, in actual pain over how damned cute this was.

“I took pictures,” Aunt Lynn whispered in my ear, flashing me the screen of her phone. “I’ll send them to you now.”

“Thank you,” I giggled under my breath, but it was then that we got caught.

“No girls!” Henry yelled. But after Lukas whispered something in his ear, he sighed and said. “I changed my mind. You can come in.”

I’d imagined we’d be in and out of Uncle Ted’s house in about an hour but we wound up staying for more than three, having coffee and homemade apple tart in the dining room with Dad, Uncle Ted and Aunt Lynn after putting Henry to bed. I stiffened when Aunt Lynn brought up kids and when Lukas was looking to have them. But he smiled and played it off breezily, squeezing my hand under the table to let me know he was okay.

When we finally left, we sat in the car for a bit before driving – our routine now, I guess.

“You aced it,” I smiled, holding his hand. I had planned to ask what exactly he heard from Ritchie and them earlier in the night but I didn’t care anymore. All I wanted was to bask in the memory of how amazingly well it just went at Dad and Uncle Ted’s house. Lukas grinned at me.

“Pretty easy to ace it with a family like that. It’s all love. You can just tell.”

I ran my thumb over the back of his hand. “I didn’t realize how much I needed someone else with me here today.”

Lukas looked at me. Leaning in, he gave me a kiss. “You already know I feel the same way.”

“Thank you for defending me,” I whispered, kissing him back. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did. I wasn’t going to let anyone talk about you like that. I’ll never let anyone fucking disrespect you. Ever.”

My heart ached. There was something long-term in his words that I was sure he didn’t even realize. But from the bottom of my heart, I appreciated it anyway. I scrunched up my nose. “You’re kind of the best. You know that?”

“Nah, I’m not. Maybe to you and Tess, but that’s about it.”

“I’ll take it.” Putting my seatbelt on, I frowned. “By the way, I’m sorry about my Aunt Lynn asking you about – ”

“Don’t,” Lukas said. “I’m not going to hold it against someone who doesn’t know that about me. And I’m sure it was a pretty reasonable thing to ask considering I hit it off with Hank.”

“Hank?”

Lukas turned to me with a grin bit between his lips. “He asked me to call him that. Cracked me the hell up.”

I burst out laughing myself. “‘Hank’ though? Why?”

“He said it’s manly.”

“Oh God. That’s fucking adorable,” I groaned as we pulled out of the driveway. I waited for us to get back onto the road before taking Lukas’s hand but he read my mind and took mine.

And for the next ten minutes of the ride, we were quiet, our hands doing all the talking as he squeezed it or stroked my thigh. I cursed the car for being so spacious because all I wanted was to sidle up to him.

“Sleepy?” Lukas asked as I hugged his arm against my chest.

“Kind of.”

“You can go to sleep. You don’t have to keep me company,” he grinned out at the road.

Yes. I took his permission and I ran with it but as I got sleepy against the warmth and hardness of his arm, my mind wandered. The Bailey’s Aunt Lynn had poured into my coffee felt like nothing before but now it was buzzing in my head, getting my tongue a little loose. I wanted to ask something, to confirm a suspicion I had at the diner. And though I held it in for awhile, it eventually came out.

“Is the reason you don’t want kids because you’re scared to repeat… what happened?” I asked quietly, breaking the peaceful silence we’d had running for almost twenty minutes now. Even in my sleepy tipsiness, I expected Lukas to get rigid, at least a little angry with me for asking. But he didn’t so much as flinch and when he answered his tone was calm and even.

“No. I know I’d be a great father.”

“Then why don’t you want kids?”

He was quiet for a second, the only sound coming from the low hum of our tires on the road.

“Because I’d feel guilty. Wyatt wouldn’t forgive me,” he said, his voice tight. “He’d hate me for raising another kid right when I failed him so fucking badly.”

I squeezed his arm tight against my chest because his words crushed me. “Lukas,” I whispered.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sleepy and tipsy so I hope this comes out right but that’s just… not true. It’s not true at all, Lukas. Wyatt knew that everything you did was for him. He knew the life you gave him was worlds better than what your parents could’ve ever provided. You were a kid yourself back then, and you still did amazingly,” I whispered, staring out at the dark road, in sheer awe of Lukas as I thought about it again. “You were twenty years old and raising children. You were only twenty-five when you moved them to a new home for a better life. And you know Wyatt appreciated everything you sacrificed for him and Tess. He was only sixteen and he knew you could recognize that you were barely that much older than him when you sued for custody.” I didn’t look up at Lukas, but I moved my cheek to kiss his arm. A tear fell from the corner of my eye onto his sleeve. I wiped at it before turning my eyes back to the road. “Wherever Wyatt is now, he’s at peace. And from your stories, from the way you described him I know that he can’t be anything but happy when he thinks about you. You gave him everything you had and he made sure to let you know that. He would never be mad at you for anything. I know it.”

I wasn’t sure why I was so confident but I was, and I felt adamant about letting Lukas know before I fell asleep and lost my words. For awhile, he said nothing. The hum of the tires continued to put me to sleep. But just before I drifted off, I felt him press his lips against the top of my head, giving me a kiss before whispering three words. Not the ones I ached for, but they were still so good.

“Thank you, baby.”

Simple but sweet, and the perfect lullaby to send me drifting off into slumber.