The Insiders by Tijan

TWENTY-EIGHT

Fire.

I expected hot and commanding and that’s what I got. My arms around his neck. My legs around him. The perfect pressure, and I was whimpering.

Flames enveloped me. Every inch of me was blazing.

Then he was gentling his kiss, soothing the pressure until the lightest and most tender graze whispered over me.

Goose bumps broke out over my skin from that last kiss. Holy hell.

I was panting.

He was pulling away.

And then—I was waking up.

I woke up. It was dark out. My head was foggy, but bits of a conversation were waking me.

“Yes, we did.… No.… No.” A pause. “She is, yes.”

I lay back down. God. I had been dreaming about last night, about that kiss. The first kiss. Holy crap. That first kiss had been epic, and I wanted to forget, then experience it all over again. Please. Could that happen?

A harsh exclamation from the other room. “You want to see her, come and see her.”

Reality dumped over me like a bucket of cold water. Kash was talking to my father.

Man.

Lying there, after that had happened, the last few days, and those words just crept back in. Idol. Father. Then, That guy whohurt my mom. And somehow in the last three days he’d become father again.

I expelled some air, blowing a strand of hair off my forehead. It went up, paused, and landed back down. Story of my life. Up, up, up, hold, and slam back down. Okay, okay. I was being a bit dramatic, but Quinn’s eviction notice stung.

Fuck it.

I sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed, and listened in. It was easy enough to do. Kash had left his door open a crack. Just a crack, but enough. He would’ve heard me if I got up for the bathroom, and the only other course of action would be to fall back asleep, but I was awake. In fact, I was wired awake. I had enough energy bouncing in me to go on a full all-nighter on the computer—and just like that, I was missing working on my code fierce.

“You might want to remember that it was your wife who asked for her to be removed from the premises.… Yes. Not me. Your wife.” Another beat of silence on Kash’s side. “Gladly. I’d love to have a conversation with Quinn.… What? No. For fuck’s sake, Peter, think about what you’re saying.” He drew in a sharp breath, pausing.

I could see him through the crack, and as if he felt my eyes, his head lifted. His body went rigid, then he came right for me. I didn’t have time to hide or even fall back and pull the blanket over my body, even with my feet still on the floor.

He was there, pushing open the door, and everything in him softened. He took me in, those same eyes warming.

“Peter,” he murmured, the bite leaving him. “Peter.” Nope. It was bit, just a little. “We’ll talk later.” He didn’t say good-bye, just hit the End button and tossed his phone onto an ottoman in the corner.

Folding his arms over his chest, he leaned his shoulder against the door frame. “How are you feeling?”

Memories of last night hit me.

We kissed. We did more than kiss, and Kash was a phenomenal kisser. He was a phenomenal everything. How he touched me. How he whispered to me. How he made me feel loved, worshipped, satisfied.

My face was heating up, just remembering, and also remembering how I had wanted more. That was a theme by the end of the night. I just wanted more, but we didn’t have sex. After making me groan and moan for two hours, Kash eased back and shifted so he was holding me.

I fell asleep like that. I wished I had woken, just to experience his arms again. Seeing them now, remembering how firm they felt, my mouth was watering.

“I’m good.” My voice came out hoarse.

The corner of his mouth lifted up, as if he was reading my thoughts. “Good. I need to check on Matt. Security called that he’s at another party. We’re supposed to collect him and take him back to the estate. Apparently Quinn is worried about her stepson.”

“Another party?”

“This is Matt. If he’s bored, if he’s upset, if he’s unhappy—he parties.” That grin faded. “Look. We didn’t talk about Quinn last night, but you have to know that if you want to be in this family, it’ll be a fight. She’s not going to make it easy for you. None of them will, except Seraphina and Cyclone.”

Oh. We were going serious.

“Matt’s been nice.”

“Matt’s been playing with you.”

My mouth opened. “What?” No way. “That’s bullshit.”

His eyebrows went up. His words were hurting me, but he didn’t care. He was putting it out there bluntly. “It’s true. He thought you were a new toy of mine, and he wanted to mess with you like a cat does with a mouse. Then he got wind of your computer skills and put two and two together. But if he’s acting like he cares, he’s lying. He’s playing you.”

“Why would he do that?”

Damn. That was burning more than I wished it had been.

Liability. That’s what I was. No feelings. Right? I could do that.

I was already failing.

“To get at your father. Peter’s been after Matt to do more with the company. He doesn’t want his oldest son to be a fuckup—Peter’s words, because that’s what he thinks of Matt. He doesn’t mean it how it comes out, but anyone who’s not doing computer work is a fuckup. Only reason he’s off my back is because I can physically hurt him if I want. Your dad is…” He shook his head side to side, choosing his words. “He’s like a conceited, glorified nerd with power. There’s a nerd in him, but it’s mixed with all the other crap that makes him hard to deal with sometimes.

“Matt is not a nerd. He’s never been a nerd. He’s smart, but he grew up with social skills and getting pussy and—you know the drill. You saw it last night. Peter doesn’t understand his kids. Not Seraphina, who has a heart of gold and is shy, or even Cyclone, who does get the computer stuff. The similarities end there. Cyclone has ADHD, and as soon as he starts one thing, he’s off to another. And now Peter is learning more about the daughter he didn’t have in his life, and he’s not liking it. Matt’s going to capitalize on it. He’s loving that he’s the family member in your ear. Gives him something that Peter wants; it’ll make him back off your brother. Or that’s what Matt thinks.”

Another one-two punch. Complete with a roundhouse to the face.

I was done, and down for the count.

Jesus.

“Thanks for that.” I cut my eyes to the side.

“Hey.” That word had me looking up before I could catch myself. Kash’s mouth was pressed in a line. “Peter’s not liking himself right now, because you’re the kid who’s like him the most. And he really hates that you spent the night here with me.” A smirk tugged back at those lips. “And he really, really hates that he can’t order me to stay away from you, because I’m the one protecting you right now. He thinks you’re a kid still.”

I bristled at that. “I’m not a kid.”

“You’re a woman, and you’re hot, and you’re smart, and you have a sarcastic side to you that I want to come out more. I like your fight and I like your sass and you gotta cement up those walls if you want to hang in with this world. They’re all wolves, Bailey. They’re not nice like your mom. They’re not Mrs. Jones, who called the police at seeing a mysterious vehicle sitting in your driveway. Yes, I read the police notes. They’re not going to look out for you. The kids, maybe, if they were taught that way. They’re not being taught that way. And Matt, he’s too angry at your dad to see that beneath the layer where he’s using you, he actually is starting to care about you.” He frowned. “But don’t expect him to tunnel down and start acting all nice like. It’s not in him. It’s not the world they come from.”

They.

Not we.

All his words were making me feel raw, but I focused on that one word. “Aren’t you one of them too?”

He paused, his eyes moving away for the first time since seeing I was awake. “I’m half in, half out. I come from a whole other dark and twisted world that makes your father’s world look like it’s made of cotton candy. And no…” He shook his head, seeing I was about to ask another question. “That’s it for sharing time. Get dressed. We gotta go collect your brother. Again.”

Well then.

Consider me yanked up by the bootstraps, a firm pat on the ass, and sent on my way.

I went to the bathroom, then saw my newly washed clothes folded and waiting for me on the counter, alongside a cup of coffee, and some of that annoyance dissipated.

Only some of it.

I didn’t know why Kash even told me what he had, if he was telling the truth about Matt, or how what we did together would play out, but this was the Kash from earlier. Or maybe this was the Kash he had to be when he was in work mode? Maybe? I didn’t know. I just knew I liked the Kash from last night. That Kash—my gaze paused on the coffee—was the kind to bring me a cup of coffee before I even asked.

Who was I kidding?

I was in way over my head.