The Insiders by Tijan

THIRTY-EIGHT

God.

I was itching to feel him, but he was staring at me, angry.

His voice was seemingly laid back, but he wasn’t. He so wasn’t. His body was tense. His eyes stormy. His hair was messed a little, sexily messed up. His jaw was clenching every few seconds as he waited for me to answer, and the air was electrified. I felt the pull to go to him, hard, and it was taking everything in me to remember he wanted me to say something to him.

Explain.

I frowned. “Explain what?”

He pushed off from the door, stalking toward me. My body veered backward, but my legs stayed and I was captivated by him.

He dropped his voice low, sending a sensual tingle straight between my legs. “Explain what? Explain why you’re here. Explain why you’re alone. Explain where the fuck Matt is. Explain, Bailey. Explain so I don’t leave here and rip the head off someone I consider like a brother.” He stopped, breathing down on me, inches from me. I felt his heat, warm and intoxicating, and I was having a hard time circulating my own air.

I wanted his.

“Oh.” I reached out, my hand touching his stomach, and holy God, he was tense. He was tight, and I could feel the control it was taking for him to restrain himself. It was rolling around in him, his stomach muscles vibrating, and it only got worse under my touch. His eyes were closed. His face bent down toward mine.

I said it softly, not knowing it was coming out. “I missed you.” Three long nights.

His eyes opened, anguish and need and frustration and torment all looked back at me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. My heart paused, literally paused.

He wrapped a hand around my nape, tugging me to him and closing the distance. As soon as we touched, I felt centered. Settled.

The world made sense, just for a moment, if only for that moment. Everything going around and around. Everything making me confused. Family. Years of loneliness. Love. Yearning. Wanting a father, now wanting my mother. Not knowing where I came from, as if I didn’t know where my roots anchored me to the ground.

All of that. Gone. One touch from Kash and I felt right.

“Fuck,” he whispered. His hand slid to cup the side of my face. “You’re not supposed to be here. Not without me. Never without me. And I got the call where Matt took you, and I am trying not to kill him right now.” His hand was gentle, his thumb starting to rub over my cheek. He did this. He cradled me in the palm of his hand, and every time, I fell a little bit more.

I didn’t even stop myself this time. I let myself go, because it was so good to see him, hear him, feel him.

“He apologized for the party, then brought me here because Victoria’s at the house. Her and the guy giving Cyclone tutoring lessons. Matt said Quinn was going to have lunch with them, and Cyclone and Seraphina would’ve begged me to sit there.”

Kash didn’t move.

Not an inch. But his arm did. His bicep muscle bulged up a full second, held, then relaxed. He expelled more air. “Shit. He was right, but wrong. Victoria is here. She texted, asking me to meet her here. But he was right about Quinn. Her and Victoria together would’ve been a nightmare.”

Victoria was here?

My pulse jumped. I didn’t like that.

“Kash.” I slid my hand down his chest, lingering over his stomach. He went still under my touch, not even breathing. “You said you would explain things.” I looked back up. “It’s time you did that.”

“I know.” He sighed, but his arms slid around me, and he hugged me to him. He said into my neck, “I will. I promise. It’s a lot for you to know.” He lifted his head again, his eyes flashing dark and sensual promises. “I’ll beat up Matt, then you and I, we’ll go to my place. I’m back for a while now. I can explain everything.”

Call me weak, but I was stupid happy he was back.

I nodded. “Okay.”

His eyes paused on my lips, hunger showing, and he groaned. His hand came up. His thumb touched my bottom lip. He liked to do that. Then he forced himself away. Catching my hand in his, he entwined our fingers and said roughly, “Let’s go.”

I felt the bartender’s eyes as Kash led me back out to the main room.

Kash stopped, telling our security the plan, and then we were off. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but we were moving at a fast pace. Down the stairs, out from the barn. We were heading back across the yard, and people were noticing. All the guards, except the three that went with Matt, were with us. They fanned out, surrounding us.

Kash moved a little behind me, a hand on my nape as we walked forward.

“Colello!” A guy was cutting over, running to us.

Running? Really?

He had a hand in the air. “Colello! What’s the word on you taking your father’s place with Phoenix Tech after all these years?”

Kash’s hand tightened on my neck, just a smidgen. He ignored the guy.

Another guy joined him, and soon more and more people. They were press, along with the regular partygoers who’d come to enjoy the tournament. One woman yelled, “Kash! We partied together at Noi. Do you still have my number?”

Another: “Who’s the girl?”

Still another: “Your grandfather’s made it known he wants you back in the family. What’s your response to that?”

“Kash! There are rumors you were helping the government in trying to go after your grandfather. Is there any truth to that?”

“Should we expect regular appearances on the nightclub scene?”

We were almost to the main lodge. A staff member came out to meet us. She was held off by the guards, but she waved her badge. “We sectioned off a room for Mr. Colello and his guest.”

The guard looked back.

Kash dipped his head in a nod, his mouth tight and closed. He guided me forward as we got to the lodge. A whole wave of people was on the deck above us and coming to stand around the front sitting area with tables and tents. They were all watching us, some curiously and some surprised.

We were led right under the awning of the deck, all those people shifting to watch us, and into a back hallway.

One girl shifted to the front, a drink in hand. She smiled, though it didn’t travel to her eyes, and she leaned down. “Kash!”

He paused for this one, looking up.

I was gritting my teeth. It was Victoria, and she was looking just as stunning as ever. Her hair was shining from the sunlight over us, and her lips moved into a more seductive smile. “Invite me down. I’d like to talk to you.”

He growled, his head jerking back down. “Not now.”

“But—Kash!”

We were inside. The staff member guided us to a back sitting room. A bar was in a corner. Couches. Chairs. A television on one wall. Shades were closed, with light shining underneath, and we could hear people on the other side. Someone knocked against the window. That was behind the shades. Laughter pealed out from the other side.

“This is the best we could do under the circumstances.” She motioned to the shades. “Those are patio doors, but we locked them and they’re covered. As long as you’re relatively quiet, they won’t know you’re in here.” She hesitated, her hair coming out from her bun, giving her a harried look. “Would you…” She turned. There was no one at the bar. “Would you like a staff member to come in?”

“No.” Kash’s hand fell from my nape, but touched the small of my back. “Thank you.”

She nodded toward a phone on the wall. “Just pick it up if you need something.”

Kash waited until she was gone before he turned to his guards. “Where is he?”

One guard started for the door. “I’ll take you to him.”

I started to go with, but Kash’s hand rested on my stomach. “Stay. You’ll be safe.”

All the same questions that I’d had for the last month and a half were still in my head, but I nodded to him. He and the guard left, and it took only five minutes before he was back. Alone. The storm was in him again, but it had upped to a hurricane. An angry hurricane.

Kash looked capable of murder.

He blew into the room, coming right to me. His hand wrapped around the back of my elbow. “Let’s go.”

I didn’t ask where Matt was. I didn’t have time.

Kash was walking me back out into the hallway. The guards were in front of us and behind us. We could hear yelling as we went through the back, the kitchen, to a back door, and we were out. Kash’s car was there. He guided me around to the front, opened the door for me, a hand to my back as I got in. Then he was moving around to get behind the driver’s side. An SUV was in front of us and one was behind us. The guards piled in both.

I waited until we pulled away from the lodge. “Where’s Matt?”

“He left,” Kash growled, slamming on the brakes as some people darted out from the side of the lodge. Laying on the horn, he turned the wheel to ease around them. Staff from the lodge ran outside to try to barricade the people back.

This was insane. They were acting like Kash was royalty, and he’d been in hiding for years.

I couldn’t even process all of that, so I fixated on what I could. “What do you mean Matt left?”

He left me?

The SUV in front of us began to pick up the pace. Then we had to pause as we pulled out and onto the road. Once there, Kash was done waiting. There was a pocket of space where he could pass, so he punched it forward and zipped around the front SUV. We really were off after that. We couldn’t get away fast enough, and he was up to fifty, sixty, seventy. The road widened further and Kash really let it go. We were past eighty in the next three minutes.

“He left you to go fuck someone.”

“He told me he was going to the lodge.”

“No.” Kash was so cold. “He told you that to keep you there, feeling all fine. Thought you’d be safe at the loft. The little fuck took off somewhere else.”

“He left with the bartender girl?”

Kash spared me a quick look, his top lip sneering. “No bartender. Unless he took her with him. No. Matt’s fucking a married woman. He went to her house. You were his alibi if he got caught.”

It was as if Matt was here, picked up a paddle, and slammed it against my face.

“What?” No. That couldn’t be.

“Believe it,” he clipped out. “I’m going to hurt him.”

I felt like I’d just ingested a full piece of tree bark. “Was it all a lie? The lunch? Victoria?”

Kash didn’t reply right away. He looked through the corner of his eye, his lip flattening. “I don’t know. The lunch was probably a truth he twisted. Matt has an ability to do that.”

My head was pounding, but I fell silent the rest of the way.

We were on the outskirts of the city, and Kash was maneuvering the car around others on the interstate. We were rounding, heading into the suburbs on the southern edge. Slowing down, he took an exit, and the size of the houses maybe shouldn’t have surprised me, considering the estate, but they still did. I think I had stopped considering the estate as a home. It was just that—an estate. People lived there, but it was more than a mere home. And these buildings, they were large houses. A few were big enough to be considered mansions, but most were just large, though large enough to impress me.

The sports car slowed and pulled in to a home that had a tower of glass extending up past three floors. The home itself had a rectangular shape on one side; the tower attached this to another section of the house. I was guessing that the main rectangular shape was where the living room and kitchen were, with the bedrooms and the rest of the home in the other section. Matt’s car was parked in front of a four-stall garage, alongside a sleek-looking Mercedes Benz. It was brand-new, the chrome still sparkling. The license plate had a pink frame.

Kash pulled up behind Matt’s car, blocking him in, and was out. I thought he’d head inside, but he came around to my side. I was opening the door before he could get there, but he took the handle and held it open as I got out. Shutting it for me, he locked the car and pocketed his keys as we headed for the front door.

“What’s the plan?”

Kash gave me a look, his hand coming to the back of my hip. He was pulling ahead, once we got to the front door, and that’s when the guards showed up. Behind us and in front of us. Just as we were approaching, a guard came to the door from inside the house, his hand to his earpiece. He looked at Kash and me, saw the others who were pulling into the driveway, and nodded briefly. He opened the door for Kash, saying, as we went past, “Third floor. Back right.”

Kash took the stairs two at a time.

I was following at a slower pace, stunned by everything happening. His guards had sold Matt out, but Kash was the boss. And as I saw Kash get to the third floor, he looked back to me. I was coming to the second floor. I waved him off. I was going, mainly because I wanted to see Matt’s betrayal for myself, but I didn’t want another visualization of my brother thrusting into some woman.

I was just getting to the third floor when I heard it.

A woman screamed.

Matt started yelling, “Get the fuck out! What are you doing? Kash!” More yelling. Something thumped on the wall, then the floor.

I heard feet pounding on the ground.

A guard was outside the door, watching me come, with a lidded expression.

Oh, joy. That wasn’t good.

“Help! Max!”

The guard looked in, stared a second, and turned back to watch my approach.

“You little fuck.” That was Kash. A savage curse ripping from him.

Another thud.

The woman began screaming again. “Oh my God. Don’t. What are you doing? Don’t hurt him!”

The sound of fists meeting skin came next.

I winced but forced myself forward. I was moving at a much slower pace, though. Then, deep breath, I was in the doorway.

The woman was holding a bedsheet to her front.

I recognized her. She was the Bonham wife, from a couple that was friends with Quinn. She was naked, her entire side was exposed. She didn’t see me, her eyes wide in horror.

Matt went to the floor, but he was trying to fight. He rolled to his feet and windmilled his feet up, thrashing everywhere. I wasn’t sure of his intention with that move.

It was almost humiliating to watch.

Matt tried to punch back. Kash easily deflected and hit him even harder. My brother was bleeding from the face, and he finally quit, collapsing to the ground with his arms and legs spread out.

Standing over him, not even breathing hard, Kash saw he had stopped and stepped back. He grabbed one of the pillows, dropping it on Matt’s stomach with extra oomph.

Groaning, Matt could only get one eye open. “You dick.”

“You’re the dick,” Kash shot back. “You left her at that loft.”

Matt paled.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Disgust and disdain laced that word. “You’re lucky you can still walk. You don’t use her, then leave her. Ever.”

“What? She has guards. She’s fine.”

Kash was looking at me.

Matt stopped talking, trailing, looking up, and finding me.

He said, “Oh no.”

A frustrated sound roared from Kash’s throat before he stepped away from him. “It’s taking everything in me not to beat you senseless. Get the fuck up.”

Mrs. Bonham—I didn’t know her first name—was staring at me now, but I avoided her gaze.

Just felt wrong to have violated this scene, but I had to see. Matt didn’t deny what Kash said. It was true. With how long it took us to drive here, knowing Matt had intentionally used me, lied to me—how long would I have been there?

A tear fell, but I brushed it away. I wasn’t going to cry over this. “How were you intending to make this okay? Were you going to try and cover your tracks?” What lie would he have used, when he finally came to get me? But I saw the guilt flare, then shame, and he turned his head. He literally looked the other way.

He wasn’t coming back for me.

I was in the room, heading for him, when I growled, “Are you serious? You would’ve left me there? All day?” There was a hysterical note coming from me. It didn’t sound like it was me, but it was. I heard it. I was cringing at it, but I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t even conscious of making the decision to go into the room, but as soon as I started, I wasn’t stopping.

“Answer me!” A guttural cry from me.

A guard was inside, coming behind me. He had an arm around my stomach, but I shifted, pivoting. I was running at Matt.

Kash cursed, moving to block me. He stepped over Matt and caught me up just as I would’ve kicked my brother’s face. With my momentum and the abruptness of how he caught me, I was in the air. Gravity was pushing me up, somehow, but Kash was moving away. He didn’t let me go over his shoulder. Tucking his head into my side, he wrapped one arm around my back, anchoring me to him, with the other behind my waist.

I was yelling over his shoulder as he carried me out.

“Huh, Matt? You piece of shit. You were going to just let me figure it out for myself? How long? How long?”

Kash grunted, but clipped out to the guard, “Get him fixed. I want him taken back to the estate. I’ll deal with him tomorrow.” He carried me out to the hallway. The guard moved in front so I couldn’t see Matt, but the last image I had of him was his face turned the other way. The woman, who the fuck cared about her? I didn’t, but our eyes caught for a second. The same horror hadn’t faded, and I had an urge to give her the middle finger. I didn’t.

Kash set me down before we started down the stairs.

My legs buckled. He caught me, then hoisted me back up, just how he’d been holding me. He carried me all the way down, and by then I was moving around. “I can walk. I’m fine.” So he let me go, but when I started back up the stairs, a quick laugh hit my ears as he settled himself directly behind me. He walked me outside. I was being herded by his arms and hips.

I broke away once we were outside. “Is he for real?!”

Kash wasn’t responding. He kept a hand to my elbow and steered me to his car.

“I can walk on my own.” I ripped my arm away.

“Still.” He stopped, making sure he was behind me so I couldn’t make a run to the house.

Giving up, with one last curse, I turned, storming to his car. I got inside, slamming the door behind me.

Kash stood on the sidewalk, his gaze latched on to me. His head was lowered, his hands going to his pockets. A security guard approached him, and they spoke before Kash got into the car. We didn’t talk as we drove out of there.

I wasn’t paying attention to where we were going. I was stewing.

Then I noticed the large buildings.

“Where are we going?” We were downtown.

“My place.”

“Why?”

He slid me a heated look. “Because it’s time you know everything.”