Hothead by Stella Rhys

36

DREW

“Drew, you were already coming off a bad loss in Cleveland on Monday, and tonight’s performance was obviously no better. Six innings. Six earned runs. Can you tell us what might be behind the offensive meltdowns in this two-game losing streak? Perhaps the flare-up of an old injury or… distractions in your personal life?”

And there it is.

There was always one reporter that got tired of my well-practiced stoicism during my post-game interviews. Win or lose, I didn’t give the press much to work with because no matter what I said, it was twisted and used against me. So I stuck with the usual responses.

My focus tonight wasn’t a hundred percent. There are no excuses. Next game.

Since those words weren’t easy to twist into some juicy headline, there was always some asshole who started prodding me with scumbag questions, just to see if he could get a fed-up reaction to turn into a good sound bite.

But even tonight – even after the stress of the past five days – I refused to give the little shit the satisfaction of my anger. So without a flicker of expression on my face, I lied straight to his.

“Physically, I’m a hundred percent. My personal life couldn’t be better. As far as the seventh inning goes, it was just a loss of focus.”

Lie. It was more so Emmett’s text about Evie.

“But what was the cause of the loss of focus?” the asshole pressed on.

The fact that he told me there “might be an emergency” and to meet him after the game ASAP, I thought furiously as my lips gave a different answer.

“I think I let myself get hung up on what I thought was a bad call from the umpire. It took me out mentally for just long enough to do offensive damage. I definitely won’t let it happen again.”

And after that sufficiently bland answer, the interview wrapped. Though of course, that didn’t stop one reporter from calling to me, “Might be time to start bringing your lucky charm again.”

The prick looked at me for a reaction – perhaps some flinch or grimace to give away the fact that I hadn’t seen Evie, my media-dubbed “good luck charm”, in almost a week. He was hawking me for something, anything, but I gave him nothing because the reality was, it had only been five days.

Five days since the morning I woke up and she was gone.

I couldn’t say I was surprised that morning because I’d expected her to leave. I had driven her away with my reaction, and I knew that. In fact, a part of me knew it would as the words this wasn’t part of the plan were coming out. It was an undeniable piece of shit thing to say, and I knew it wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

But it was my cynical asshole nature coming back to protect me from what she had told me.

Pregnant.

I still couldn’t believe it.

It was the word I’d been trained to fear since the day I came into the league. For Christ’s sake, there were official league training videos we were required to watch as rookies, just to protect us from women who were after our money.

These women wantchild support from you. They’ll poke holes into condoms. Always bring your own rubbers. Never get a girl pregnant.

In my heart, I knew Evie hadn’t poked a fucking hole in a condom. I knew she wasn’t swindling me out of some desperate need for money.

But at the same time, I forced myself to question her. She’d reversed a good amount, but she hadn’t gotten rid of all my doubt and cynicism – the side of me that believed that every person in the world had a price. There was at least a sliver of that side of me left, and it reminded me of what Iain’s girlfriend Keira had said the night of Emmett and Aly’s engagement dinner.

Anyone on welfare is going try to use her to get to your money. You know too well how that goes. Protect yourself. I replayed those words in my head. I thought of Evie’s mom. Her drug addict sister. I ran through all my cynical thoughts for the first two days that Evie was gone.

And on day three, I concluded that it was all bullshit.

She wasn’t some scheming, conniving con artist – I was just eager to find one. I was eager to believe that over the course of my career, all the walls I kept up, all the suspicions I had for everyone in my life weren’t just for nothing. That I was justified in my lack of trust for anyone – that I had always been right.

But the reality was that I wasn’t now, and I hadn’t always been.

“Asshole. There you are,” Emmett greeted me when I finally got out of the clubhouse and found him in his usual suite at the stadium. It was right behind home plate, and since that meant he had a fantastic view of me fucking blowing it tonight, I braced myself for some smartass dig. Rather, I hoped for one. It would mean that whatever he texted me about wasn’t actually as grave as it sounded – that everything that already resolved.

But since no dig or joke came, I frowned hard at him.

“What? What’s going on?” I asked Emmett. The way he rubbed his jaw and took a deep breath made the blood in my veins set on fire. “Emmett, what the fuck happened? Is she okay? You said she was in good hands.”

He had. And I’d believed him.

The morning that Evie left, the first person I had called was Emmett. Not her. Maybe a dick move on my part, but I wasn’t ready to talk to her. The first few days were when I was entertaining the dark side of my brain – the part that tried convincing me that Evie had been playing the long con, and that she was in this solely for the money.

So I didn’t trust myself to talk to her yet.

But I’d trusted Emmett, who told me she had gone to his and Aly’s house in East Hampton.

“Look, she’s likely fine right now,” he started evenly, but it set me off fast.

“’Likely’?” The word launched me from zero to sixty fast. “For Christ’s sake, Emmett, she’s pregnant – there’s no room for ‘likely!’”

“Well, if there’s no room for ‘likely’ then why the fuck haven’t you called her or come to see her yourself?” Emmett challenged, making my fists ball tighter. “How long were you planning on relying on the comfort of knowing that she was safe with us? Were you going to ignore her forever as long as she was under our roof?”

“I told you I needed time to get my fucking thoughts straight. Considering the shit that was going through my head, I can guarantee you I would’ve made things worse by talking to her.”

“Well, whether or not that’s bullshit, the fact of the matter is she hasn’t been at our house for three days now.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Emmett?”

I wanted to choke him out, but instead I turned to storm out and find her – before realizing I had no idea where the fuck she was. With my hands thrust in my hair, I faced Emmett again.

“Tell me you know where she is,” I said, my voice shaking with fury. I already had a guess as to where she was, but I was praying for him to prove me wrong.

“She gave us a hotel name and we confirmed that she had a reservation there. But Aly went the other day and they told her Evie never checked in.”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me, Emmett?” I demanded.

“Because Aly made me swear not to tell you shit,” he said, getting in my face. “You already proved to her what a piece of shit you were by not calling Evie the day she left, so she doesn’t trust you to do the right thing anymore. She told me she had it covered, but I know she’s struggling to find coverage at the restaurant. She wanted to leave to find Evie today, but she still can’t get away from work.”

“Fuck that. I’m going,” I said. I didn’t even realize my feet had begun walking already till I found myself in the hallway, Emmett trailing behind.

“Do you even know where you’re going?”

“Belfield. In Massachusetts.”

“That’s where she’s from?”

“Yes.”

“You think she’s with her mom?”

“I know she is, and there’s no way in hell I’m letting her stay there one more fucking day,” I ground out, my heart slamming in my chest as I thought of Evie living alongside an unpredictable addict while pregnant – with my child, no less. It immediately dashed my need to wait things out, to talk to her when I felt like I knew what I wanted to say. It lit a fire under my ass and reminded me that some things happened before you were ready – and this was a prime example.

Because while I didn’t know what I wanted to say, I knew I needed to feel Evie safe in my arms. I knew I loved her – that I loved everything about her, including the man I was around her. I knew I’d never forgive myself if anything were to happen to her.

Or our child.

And suddenly, I needed to tell her that in person. STAT.