Park Avenue Player by Vi Keeland
Chapter 40
Hollis
I finally forced the words out. “I don’t understand. Make me understand, Elodie.”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand, either. I really don’t.”
“You didn’t know about this?”
Her expression went from concerned to angry. “What, you think I tricked you or something? Of course I didn’t know!”
I immediately regretted my assertion. This was so damn confusing. “I didn’t mean to imply you were being deceptive. I just don’t understand how we could not have known this. She’s your best friend.”
Elodie kept shaking her head. “She’s never once mentioned you to me, Hollis. I knew she’d experienced heartbreak several years ago. She alluded to an ex-boyfriend. Honestly, I don’t know if that was you or someone else, but I swear to you, Hollis, she never once mentioned your name or said a thing when I mentioned you, either.”
Taking a deep breath in, I tried to find my bearings. Every second we wasted out here trying to figure this mystery out, Anna was in there fighting for her life. I didn’t care how badly she’d hurt me or how jarring this revelation was—none of it mattered right now.
She’s dying.
Anna was dying.
What did matter was that Anna be surrounded by those she loved in what could be her final hours. I didn’t know whether she’d ever really loved me, but a part of me would always love her. That’s why I’d been so devastated all these years. Up until Elodie, Anna had been the love of my life.
I snapped myself out of my thoughts. “We need to get back in there.”
Elodie wiped her eyes. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
Entering that room a second time was no easier, no less shocking. Anna had always been small, but she looked exceptionally frail and fragile, though with the same beautiful face I’d always remembered. Seeing that tube down her throat physically hurt me, especially knowing it was against her wishes.
You’re so brave, Anna.
My instinct was to try to save her, to do something, but it was clear there was nothing any of us could do right now except pray. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d asked God for help. Honestly, after my mother died, I’d lost faith that anyone out there was listening to my prayers. This was the first and only time since then that I’d felt compelled to beg for mercy.
Please don’t let her suffer like this.
Memories of Anna flashed through my mind. She’d been my rock at the worst of times during my mother’s illness. That was what always stuck out. No matter how things ended between us, I’d never forgotten that or stopped appreciating it. Seeing her in this state was the worst kind of deja vu. It felt like the cruelest of life’s jokes.
Richard must have noticed the continued horror on my face because he took me aside.
“Hollis, son, I know how much Brianna meant to you. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”
God, if this was difficult for me, I could only imagine how he felt. Anna was always a daddy’s girl.
I asked a dumb question. “How are you possibly handling this?”
“Well, you know….” He hesitated and his eyes filled with tears. His voice trembled. “She’s my little girl.”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
I wasn’t the type of guy who easily embraced another man, but in that moment I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around Richard. Fuck, we were consoling each other. Richard always used to make me feel like I wasn’t good enough for his daughter. I eventually realized it wasn’t a reflection on me, but more of how much he loved her and felt she deserved the absolute best. I’d just begun to earn his trust when Anna suddenly ended things with me.
After we let each other go, my eyes returned to Anna.
I’d had so much anger in my heart toward her over the years. But in this moment, all I wanted was a miracle. She was a damn good person who didn’t deserve this fate. In my heart, I knew the situation was dire and expecting a miracle was a long shot. But I couldn’t give up hope.
I looked over at Elodie, and my pain magnified. I was supposed to be holding her hand through all of this but could hardly sustain myself. I only hoped she would understand.
Richard walked to the door. “I’m gonna get some water.”
Needing another breather, I said, “I’ll go with you.”
As we walked down the hall together, I asked, “Do you remember how long after our breakup she was diagnosed?”
Richard blinked. “I don’t, Hollis. But it probably wasn’t long. Even after she discovered she had this disease, she was absolutely fine for a long time. Things really only got bad the past few years.”
“What happened to the guy she was with?”
The one she left me for…
He blinked as if to try to remember. “It didn’t last,” he said.
She’d devastated me for a relationship that didn’t even last? Did he leave her when he found out about her illness? And how long had Richard himself been married? Anna’s mother had died when she was a baby, but he hadn’t had a girlfriend that I knew of. And he just happened to marry a woman whose son Elodie married? I had so many questions, but this wasn’t the time to ask them. I’d asked enough for now.
Richard drank from the water fountain. I placed my hand on his shoulder as we walked back to the room.
Upon my return, Elodie’s eyes met mine, and the sadness in them was palpable. I was sure she could see the same feeling in mine. We held each other, despite the awkwardness of Richard and Mariah watching us. Elodie burst into tears in my arms. As much as I might have needed to, I couldn’t cry. Still stifled by my shock and confusion, the build-up of emotions inside of me wouldn’t come out.
A doctor finally came in to talk to Richard.
“The next twenty-four hours are going to be critical,” he said. “I really wish I could tell you one way or the other how things are going to go, but we just don’t know. Right now, she’s completely reliant on the machines. We’ll test the waters tomorrow to see if she can breathe on her own. But we’re not going to try anything tonight.”
“What would you say the chances are of a full recovery?” Richard asked.
The doctor’s face was grim. “It doesn’t look likely. Given your understanding of her disease and the prognosis, I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. That doesn’t make this any easier. I know that. I’m so sorry.”
It was incomprehensible that Anna could die so young, that her father would have to say goodbye. It was painful enough losing a parent. I couldn’t imagine losing a child. I chose to focus on what losing Anna meant to Richard because I couldn’t even fathom what it meant to me. I hadn’t spoken to her in years, but she was never far from my mind. She was the person who’d impacted my life the most.
And yet I’d had no idea what she’d been going through all these years. If I had, my attitude toward her certainly would have been different. I’d been filled with such disdain for her; meanwhile, she’d apparently been suffering the majority of the time.
The sun was starting to come up by the time Elodie and I left, vowing to return in a few hours.
Tense silence filled the air during our ride home. We were both too exhausted and distraught to talk. But at one point, I needed to ask her a question, even though I knew she didn’t have the answer.
“How did she not say anything to you when you’ve been talking about me to her?”
“I don’t know, Hollis. I’ve mentioned your name numerous times. Is it possible she thought it was a coincidence and never considered that you were the same Hollis?”
I shook my head. “I can’t imagine she wouldn’t have at least questioned it. My name is not a common one, and she knew my niece’s name. We were together when my half-brother’s girlfriend gave birth, though I don’t think the two of them ever met. None of this is making any sense.”
And it doesn’t look likely that we’ll get the chance to ask her.
Elodie noticed I was driving toward Connecticut. “Where are you going? You’re taking me home?”
I hadn’t realized I was taking her home and not back to the city with me. But the truth was, I needed to be alone tonight. I wanted to be there for her. I really did. I wanted to be a better and stronger man than this, but I just couldn’t.
“I need to be alone tonight. I hope you can understand that.”
“I’m not sure I do, Hollis. I think we need to lean on each other right now, not push each other away.”
She was right. But I needed to process this without having to worry about how my feelings might impact her. Maybe that was selfish. But I couldn’t be around anyone right now, not even her.
As I pulled up to her house, I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not handling this very well. Maybe this will sink in at some point. I’m just not there yet.”
After a moment, she seemed to soften. “I’m sorry for making you feel bad about it. I understand.”
Elodie said nothing further before she got out of the car. I waited until she was safely inside before taking off.
Exhausted, I had every intention of going back to the city to get some much-needed sleep. But after seeing a sign on the side of the road, that wasn’t where I ended up.
