Park Avenue Player by Vi Keeland
Chapter 47
Hollis
In the weeks that followed, I did something I’d never done in my entire career: I took actual time off. The only thing was, no one knew about it—besides Addison.
I needed the time to myself, to think and let everything that had happened in the past month sink in.
So, I’d leave for “work” in the morning, letting Elodie think I was going to the office. Meanwhile, I’d wander the city, eating in various diners or buying meals for the homeless. One afternoon, I went to a Yankees game. Another day, I visited Anna’s grave to give her a piece of my mind for ever believing it was better for me to spend those years without her. Then I bent down and kissed the gravestone, making sure she knew I understood the decision she ultimately made.
As I got to the end of my self-imposed hiatus, I found myself longing for Elodie more and more. Given that school had started again for Hailey, there was no reason Elodie couldn’t have been by my side during this time off.
My last stop on Friday afternoon felt like the right place to end my “staycation.”
When I entered the pediatric oncology unit of the hospital, I went straight to Sean’s room. I’d been visiting him every day since I started playing hooky from work. So when I walked in today and his belongings were gone, the walls bare, I froze.
A woman came up behind me. “Can I help you?”
“Yes, I was looking for Sean.”
“He changed rooms, but he’s still here. He’s meeting with his therapist right now. I’m his mother.”
Relief washed over me. “Ah. I see.”
I’d nearly had a heart attack thinking that something had happened to him; I couldn’t take another goddamn loss.
She tilted her head. “And you are?”
“I’m Hollis...a friend of his.”
“You’re the guy who bought the video game console. Sean said someone close to you was in the hospital here, and you stop in every day to take a break and play some games with him.”
“Yes. That’s me.”
“That’s so nice of you.”
“It’s been my pleasure. Sean is a great kid.”
“Would you like to sit for a bit? Why don’t I grab us coffees?”
“Sure. That would be great.”
“How do you take it?”
“Black.”
“Okay. Be right back.”
She disappeared for a couple of minutes, leaving me to sit alone in the common area outside Sean’s old room. Someone wheeled a little kid with a shaved head past me. Being here always put things in perspective.
Sean’s mother returned with two steaming coffees in Styrofoam cups.
I took one. “Thank you.”
“I’m Kara, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you. Do you live close by?”
“We rent an apartment around the corner from here to be closer to him. Our house is an hour away in New Jersey.”
“I assume you’re here every day?”
“Yes. In fact, next weekend will be the first time I won’t see my son for a few days. My husband and I are going to Aruba to renew our wedding vows. We’re doing it for Sean. He’s too sick to go with us, but he insisted we take this trip.”
“Is that right?”
“He said he was sick and tired of our depressing asses and wants us to go live life a little.”
“Depressing asses. That’s pretty funny.”
“That’s my son for ya. He said the only thing worse than being stuck here is watching us stuck here all the time as well. My husband and I don’t leave his side for too long. But you know, I never saw things from his perspective until recently. He admitted that the worst part of being sick wasn’t even the illness, but the burden he felt he was placing on us. Can you believe that?”
My thoughts immediately went to Anna.
“Yeah.” I stared off. “I actually can.”
“So...we’re going away for Sean, renewing those vows and living it up for a weekend in Aruba. He’ll be with us in spirit. And we’re gonna take lots of photos and send them to him. That’s the one thing he insisted on. He said, ‘You’d better promise to take pictures, Mom and Dad. Don’t go all the way to Aruba and not document it. Don’t be dumb.’” She laughed.
I grinned. “He’s an amazing kid.”
“It took me a long time to agree to go. I didn’t feel like I could go away and enjoy myself when he’s so sick. But he said, ‘Just because I’m sick doesn’t mean you and Dad can’t enjoy your life. Because if not, it’s three people dying, not one. You can still laugh, Mom. You can still get dressed up and do all the things you used to do. Every day that passes where all you do is sit here and watch me really hurts, because it makes me feel like your life stopped for me.’”
Wow.
That hit close to home.
“Are you okay?” she asked, likely seeing the effect her words had on me.
“Yes. What he told you just really resonates with me.”
I thought about all the things I’d be missing if I continued to endlessly mourn Anna. I wasn’t guaranteed an infinite amount of time on this Earth myself. No one was. Elodie had been so patient with me. It was time to let myself feel all of the things my soul had been yearning to experience again. My brain had been the one putting a stop to it, and that needed to end.
“I’m more than okay, Kara—more okay than I have been in a long while. Because I’m pretty sure someone very special to me who recently passed away led me to this spot to hear you say what you just did.”
Suddenly, I couldn’t get to Elodie fast enough.
I stood up. “Thank you. Please tell Sean I’ll be back to visit him soon. In fact, I’ll come keep him company when you’re away next weekend.”
“I most certainly will. And that sounds great. He’ll appreciate that.”
The cool fall air hit me as I exited the hospital. It had been raining on the way in, but the sun was now peeking out. I looked up at the sky. There was a rainbow—a rarity over the city.
“Beautiful girl,” I whispered. “There you are.”
I weaved through the crowded streets with my eyes focused on the colorful beams of light. “I get the point now,” I told her. “I heard you loud and clear. I’m gonna start doing this life justice in your honor and enjoying the gift you gave me—Elodie. And I promise to take lots of pictures.”
