Taken to Lemora by Elizabeth Stephens
9
Essmira
“Are you alright?” I cough, inhaling powdery dust particles that sit in my mouth and clog my throat. I lie on my back between two boulders looking up at the male positioned over me. He cringes as he starts to move his limbs. “Careful.” I cough some more, reaching above me to hold his shoulders. “Stay still. Don’t move.”
He nods, eyes closed tight. It doesn’t take long for hands to find his arms and start to pull the bits of rubble and rock off of him from above. Several Lemoran, including the kind female who had acted as my guide, call his name. “Jaygar!”
“Jaygar, can you hear us?”
“Jaygar…here, move these stones.”
“The kintarr’s dug into his back…”
“Watch for the splinters!”
“Here! For your hands!”
“Essmira!”
“Miriga Essmira is under there?” Miriga. There’s that word again. My stomach flutters every time I hear it because I know it’s a term of endearment, even though it means nothing to me. It’s the way they say it. Always kind. Always reverent. Always sweet.
“I’m here. I’m fine. Jaygar saved my life,” I shout, and then more quietly, just to him, I say, “Thank you, Jaygar. Thank you so, so much.”
His mouth twitches and he grimaces when someone above him shovels some rocks off of his shoulder and tries to grab him and lift him up. He’s wedged awkwardly between two boulders while I’ve fallen deeper into the crevice between them. About two feet separate us. Enough distance for me to be able to reach up and touch his neck, which I do, hoping to offer comfort.
“It looks like I’ll need another one of those massages,” he says stiffly.
I offer a small smile, but it’s not a smile that I feel in my chest, heart or soul. He’s hurt because of me. He threw himself over me to offer protection, even though I’m only a stranger. The selflessness of these Lemoran is overwhelming. Even Raingar…his reaction when he realized I was hurt…I could never have imagined anything like that from Tyto. And I know he’s a foul comparison, but he’s all I have to compare any male to. It’s a wonder that that abominable creature even exists in the same realm as these others. That I had a lifetime of thinking that was normal, before this.
I know it’s not.
And I’m determined to hold onto this beauty surrounding me.
I offer him a gentle squeeze in the part of his neck where he’d been experiencing pain before. I’m good at stretching males and offering massages of medical quality. Igmora made sure I was. She thought this would be an asset for my future master and had me practice on both her and Tyto a hundred times over.
“I think stretching out your tight muscles might need to come after Moreth has a look at you.”
He nods tightly, eyes remaining closed. The pain radiating out of him like heat from a star makes my heart hurt and my eyes tear. “You might be right, miriga.”
“I’m so sorry, Jaygar.”
At this, his eyes do open. They’re purple in the center, unlike Raingar’s, and the outside colors radiate yellow and green, mostly. “What do you have to be sorry for?”
I’m not sure and shake my head. Small stones fall onto my body and more powder rushes in their wake as Jaygar is lifted off of me. I use the rocky walls boxing me in to pull myself up into a seat, and then I stand shakily. Willa’s face is the first I see and she shouts my name in terror once, and then again in what sounds like relief. Her hand touches her chest where I know her highest heart to be.
“Essmira, are you hurt?”
I shake my head. “Nob. I’m not. Jaygar saved my life.”
“Jaygar!” The roar is familiar and so is the rage behind it. Raingar bursts through the crowd, sending parts of it scattering. “Jaygar is the reason you were almost killed!” Raingar throws himself forward, but his left knee caves and he catches himself on the edge of the boulder in front of me. We’re separated by its width. I try to tear his attention away from the others, but he refuses to meet my gaze. And I don’t like it one bit.
Willa frowns at him and plants her fists on her hips. “Jaygar is the reason Essmira wasn’t crushed to a pulp by the kintarr you dislodged when you shouted like a kitling!” Her voice, which had been steadily rising, drops into a wicked hiss.
“If he hadn’t been touching what belongs to me, I wouldn’t have shouted.” His chest heaves. He takes a threatening step towards Willa, this time, and an unfamiliar sensation shoots through my bloodstream.
A bit darker than disdain. A bit more like hurt.
Betrayal. I feel betrayed.
Disgusted. I feel disgusted.
He said he was sorry, but now I’m not sure that he understands the word. But maybe, he was only sorry for hurting me. The thought is crippling. To me, his actions were understandable given his inexperience and my upbringing. What I didn’t like was that he treated me like a pleasure female even though he called me mate. And he’s doing it again by presuming that he owns me. And he doesn’t. I’m his mate. Merquin paid for me. And they don’t have pleasurers here on Lemora.
“You don’t own me!”
Holy stars. Is that…was that me?
Silence descends. Little whispers here and there light up among those gathered. The only ones really speaking at all are the small cluster surrounding Jaygar as they usher him onto a flat board and carry him quickly out of the cave system.
Raingar stares anywhere but at my face. He rubs his jaw and shakes his head violently. “That’s not…that’s not what I meant! I just meant that you were touching him and I didn’t like it…”
“I was helping him. He had a strain in his neck and I was trained to be able to relieve those kinds of minor aches. Is it not the duty of all Lemoran to help one another? That’s the impression I’ve received from everyone here — even you when you stood up to Igmora and Tyto, an Egama warlord, and an Oosa horde. Should I not do the same?”
Raingar’s chest is heaving. It’s like everyone else in the cave has fallen away. “You aren’t even Lemoran. You’re too soft. You are too easily hurt. You should just stay safe.”
Fury bites at me and I feel tears prick my eyelids. Raingar stares at my face in horror as the first tear hits my cheek. My shoulders pulse with rage and I look around wildly. There’s a purple stone the size of my fist among the detritus that’s fallen. I grab it and chuck it directly at the male who calls me mate but who doesn’t understand anything about Lemora, the universe, mates and love. About Xiveri. Perhaps, even less than I do.
I throw it at him and whatever stars guide my arm help me aim true for the second time. The stone clunks pitifully off of his right horn, taking none of the dark matter with it. “You,” I shout, more enraged than ever, more enraged than when he hurt me because this hurt isn’t superficial, like those wounds. “You are not my mate. You do not respect me. You do not trust me. You are just like Tyto.”
A quiet gasp is followed by a deep hush. Little pieces of kintarr tumble from somewhere down onto the floor, little rocks scattering against other rocks. Raingar huffs and harrumphs as he moves over the stones, but he’s too big to get closer to me. His face is drawn with terror, but the voice that was once Igmora in my head is utterly quiet. I don’t care if he’s hurt. It’s not my job to comfort him now. And I don’t regret my words, just that the clan folk heard them.
“I don’t mean to disgrace you, my Lord, we all know you make a fine clan chief.” Another tear slips out of my eye that I’m not quick enough to catch. Carefully, I edge myself around the boulder towards the cave’s only exit. “And I didn’t care that you hurt me with your big hands. We’re learning! I was upset because you treated me like a pleasurer and you promised me more and I was foolish enough to believe you. And now you’re doing it again.”
I take a shaky breath and stare deep into his eyes, past all those rings, to the frightened male inside. I know that he hears me, even if the rocky exterior is ready to strangle me senseless. “Scars prove you lived. I’m not afraid of them. What I’m afraid of is another shackle. I’ll die before I give up the precious freedom I’ve found here. Do you hear me, Raingar? I will die.”
“Is that a threat?” He hisses, leaning forward onto the block that partially sheltered me. His gaze shutters, the regret I thought I saw there gone. Once again, he’s the male I saw facing off against the Egama, only this time, I’m the opposing warlord.
“It’s a promise.” I back away from him with my skirt fisted in my hands and let the crowd form a barrier between us. They protect me, not letting him cross it, even though he tries. I use their distraction to my advantage and turn before he can try for a response. I hasten out of the cave, nervous when I hear grumbling and then feet pounding behind me.
“Miriga, do you need a pad pad?” And then relief. It’s just Willa.
“Yeffa,” I exhale shakily. “That would be great. Thank you, Willa.”
Raingar still hasn’t caught me by the time Willa frees a pad pad hobbled near the outer entrance of the cave and hands the reins over to me. “Here, take mine. Her name’s Geroo. She’s a good lass. She’ll guide ya.”
“Thank you, Willa,” I tell her when I’m wobbly on the back of the beast.
Willa pats the massive creature on the nose thoughtfully before peering up at me with a soft smile. “I know I don’t know you well enough to say this yet, but I’m proud of you, miriga.”
I’m shaky — I’m not used to confrontation like this — and I’m not sure what to do with her praise. So I just smile and say, “What does miriga mean?”
She looks surprised at my question, but her grin splits into something gorgeous a moment later. “Miriga means queen.”
I…I don’t know what to say. I just sit there staring down at her positively agog while she chuckles lightly and rubs the massive nose of the beast swaying beneath me. “I…”
“It’s an old title.” Willa shrugs. “Doesn’t mean much in practice, but it means a lot in spirit. In soul. This clan, well, we may be just as furious with Raingar as you are right now, miriga, but when he told us that his horns burned for you all those solars ago, we knew that the universe must have sent us something special. A fierce female to contend with that ole’ bastard.
“And the universe has not disappointed. We love you just as much, even though we’ve known you a fraction of the time. We love you because he loves each of us something fierce, just like we love him and since you’ve come to us, we’ve never seen him quite so wild. I believe that male might love you more than he loves Lemora and I don’t think anyone has ever loved Lemora more than him.
“He’s just got to get it right. But if anyone can, you can whip some sense into him.” She winks at me and I can’t help but keep smiling that shaky smile. I can’t decide if her words make me feel a little more frightened, or angry, or happy, or both better and worse at the same time.
“I’m not sure he deserves to be forgiven just yet…”
“Oh nob!” She holds up both hands and backs away from me toward the gaping mouth of the first cave. “Absolutely not. Head back to his keep. Get some good sleep. Let him run around for a little while longer.”
“His keep?”
“Yeffa. I’ll tell him you went to Merquin’s. She’ll keep him busy for the lunar. Better that then actually going there yourself only to have him cursing up your window all lunar long.”
I snort, genuinely pleased as I grab the reins of the pad pad’s bridle and press my heels into its hide. It starts forward immediately. “You are a devious creature,” I tease.
“You’ve no idea, miriga.” She laughs and then swats the bottom of my pad pad just as sounds of Raingar hissing echo through the cave system. “Now, be gone with you!”
The pad pad moves off into a trot and then a full canter and, though I’ve never ridden one of these beasts before, I hang on for dear life and ride it like it’s my hundredth time and that I’m a female who’s never known what it means not to be free.