The Embrace by Vivian Wood

9

Squinting out across the water, I spread my legs and plant them firmly. The water makes the floor beneath my feet rock rhythmically. I can hear the ropes creaking, the deck hands calling to one another, the sound of the wind whipping around my head. I shade my eyes against the sun and look out over the seemingly endless sea.

“I could almost see myself leaving everything behind and just taking Kaia on a year-long trip around the world on one of these. Don't you think?”

I turn to look at Lucas and find him gripping the boats railing with both hands. He doesn't exactly look miserable but he doesn't look comfortable either. His frown tells me exactly what he thinks about that plan.

“I don't think that yachting is really my forte,” he admits. “I didn't know until we stepped on this boat though.”

I can't help but grin at him. “No, I guess not. I can't say that I knew before we came though.”

Lucas sighs. “Can we go sit down at least?

I chuckle and nod. “We can. I just wanted to stand at the front of the boat. What’s that called, the helm?”

He shoots me a look out of the corner of his eye as he follows my footsteps back towards the shaded area where we were sitting. “I think the helm is where you steer the boat.”

I shoot him glare over my shoulder and collapse onto a very expensive white couch. My brother sits much more delicately, perching himself on a matching white chair.

“Now I think I have to buy one of these boats. Or is it a yacht? Actually, I don't know the terminology about that either.”

Lucas picks up his glass of soda water and takes a slow sip. “Maybe you have to be a billionaire in your own right to stand on one of these things and not feel like you are being turned inside out.”

I snort. “You're a billionaire in your own right by now. Right?”

He shrugs a shoulder and shakes his head. “I definitely don't feel like one right now. I feel like I’m going to puke at any moment.”

I pick up my own glass of whiskey, swirling the couple cubes of ice around in it. I look out over the ocean again and feel more settled than I've ever felt in my whole life. With Kaia at my side, I'm pretty sure I could just live my whole life and never leave this boat. It has some possibilities, for sure.

I sit back and enjoy the sun on my skin. Lucas leans forward in his chair, his expression pinching.

“What are we doing out here, Calum? I mean, other than finding out which one of us was born to be a pirate.”

A rumble of laughter leaves my chest. “I thought it might be nice to get away from the city while we talk about our plans for what is next.”

“Could you be any more vague than that?” My brother grouses. “What you mean, what's next. In life? For the company? For you and Kaia?”

I sip my whiskey and think about how to answer his question. “I feel like they are one in the same. I feel like answering the question of what is next for myself and Kaia, what is next in life… that answers the question of what is next for the company. Doesn't it?”

Lucas looks exasperated. “I don't know. That's why we are here, I guess.”

I gesture to him, flopping my hand over and back a few times. “Nothing critical is going to be decided today. This is just a conversation that will probably lead to another conversation. I just want to make sure that you don't feel left behind when I leave the company.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “Leave the company? What you mean?”

I answer him by shooting him a look. “What do you think I mean? I think we both have known for a while now that my time with the company is almost up.”

“I feel like you could've told me that.” He shoots a hard look out across the water, squinting into the sun.

I give him humorless laugh. “I am telling you, Lucas. That's what I'm trying to do, at least. I'm not springing anything on you. I'm not leaving the company tomorrow. But you done a great job running everything. Now it's time for me to step away. What that will look like exactly, I don't know…”

“Is this because of Kaia?” he asks.

I purse my lips and look at him for half a minute. “It's partially because of Kaia, yes. I want to spend more time with her. When she gets time off from working at the ballet company, I want to take her someplace. Maybe Rio. Maybe the Greek islands. Maybe both of those places. I don't know. But I think the first step to being unmoored is going to be cutting the tethers I created for myself here.” I look at him frankly. “You don't need me. You haven't needed me this entire time that I've been working with the ballet company. Hell, before that even.”

He shakes his head. “I’m always going to need you, Calum.”

“And you'll always have me. I'm always here. I'm as far away as the time it takes to dial a phone. But you don't need me as the face of the company anymore. You can take it in a different direction or make investments that I don't have to give my rubber stamp of approval on. Whatever you want.”

He looks down into his glass, brooding silently. Lucas stays quiet for a solid minute and I lean back with a sigh.

“I’m not going anywhere. You know that. I don't want you to think that just because I am leaving the company that I'm going to be leaving you.”

He looks up at me, his frosty blue gaze so like my own. “Are you sure?”

I nod slowly. “Yep. Completely and absolutely sure. This is really just finishing what I already started. Transferring the rest of the company into your name. Divesting however much money I think I will need for the next few years.” I shrug. “That's it. Sign some documents, start a new page.”

Lucas nods very slowly, clearly digesting what I have told him. “Okay.”

I reuse my eyebrows at him. “Okay?”

He shrugs and nods again. “I won't stand in your way if that's what you honestly want to do. I can't say I blame you at all. You've found someone that makes you happy, apparently so…”

I squint at him. “One day, I’m going to marry her.”

Lucas's lips lift. “I told you that months ago. I saw the way that you looked at her and I just knew. So there is nothing that is too surprising there.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Kaia says that she wants kids. Which is a complete dealbreaker for me.”

He groans. “Why? I mean, you already have everything you've ever wanted. Now that you found each other you can just go live your fairytale lives in your castle in the sky or whatever…”

I chuckle. “I said the same thing to her. I mean, I use less ridiculous language. But yeah, that's exactly what I said.”

Lucas eyes me. “What about Anita?”

Just the sound of her name makes my heart start pitter-patterning against my ribs. “What about her?” My mouth twists bitterly. “I assume that you are still giving her a place to live?”

His cheeks redden very slightly. He nods. “I am. I mean, not because she deserves that. After what you told me… About how you guys… How she demanded sex in return for the luxury we lived in…”

I clear my throat and shift in my seat, looking away. “Yeah, I know exactly what I said to you.”

“Right.” He purses his lips, seeming to consider his words carefully. “So after you said what you said, I was going to put her out on the street. And then the doctor came to me with a terminal diagnosis.”

I blink a few times. “Terminal? Are you sure that Anita didn't just pay the doctor to say that she was really sick? That sounds like something Anita would enjoy.”

Lucas shakes his head. “I’m pretty god damn sure, Callum. I mean, I can tell. Anita really looks sick. She has lost weight, like a lot of weight. She barely eats and sleeps all the time, according to her caretakers. And I have had four doctors come and examine her, for completely separate opinions. They all gave me the same diagnosis. Anita has very little time left.”

His voice breaks on the last word. I look over to him, realizing that my own hatred of Anita hasn't necessarily affected Lucas’s relationship with her. To him, she is still the same woman that cared for him, the woman that used to buy him ice cream sundaes and help him with his homework.

I put down my tumbler of whiskey and reach out across the space between us. Patting his knee awkwardly, I narrow my eyes on his face.

“I’m sorry. I know that she meant a lot to you. Anita wasn't great to me but she always seemed really genuinely fond of you.”

He nods, his expression despondent for a long moment. “Anita did give us a home. But if what you say is true, and I believe you of course, then it was a high price for you to pay. I wish…” He goes quiet for a moment. “I wish I'd known.”

I sit back in my chair, my mouth twisting to one side. “Would that have helped? Or would it have just made things worse for both of us?”

He looks up at me, anger flashing across his expression. “I deserved to know. I lived my entire life thinking that I grew up in a certain kind of setting. And it turns out that I grew up in what amounts to a brothel, essentially. It's not right. It's not the same. And I've been making all these excuses and giving her all this money that she didn't deserve.”

I shrug my shoulders. “What am I supposed to say? I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner but…”

He cuts me off shaking his head violently. “No. I mean, I wish things had been different. I wish that Anita had never… touched you… But I can't be mad at you over something that happened when we were kids. Literally, we were kids.”

He sounds so angry when he says that word, kids. I can't do anything but nod and look at the floor with a bitter expression.

“I know. I know, it sucks.”

“I mean, you didn't ask for it, I'm guessing. Right?” He meets my gaze this time.

My mouth works for a second. I suck in a breath and shake my head. “No.”

I let that word fall between us. He nods, frowning.

I thought not. He exhales audibly. “Anita is on her deathbed. Or nearly there. The doctors say that she has maybe a week, maybe less. Do you want me to tell her anything for you?”

The thought that she is going to be allowed to have her adopted son, her golden child at her side as she dies really cuts me deep. I shake my head violently, grabbing my whiskey and downing the rest of it.

“No. I think that Anita has taken all of the wind out of my sails. I don't want to talk about her anymore. Not today, anyway.”

Lucas hangs his head. “I understand. I did I really do.”

Balancing myself for a second, I grab my glass and stand up. “I’m getting get a refill. Do you need anything?”

Lucas can't even meet my eyes as he shakes her head. “No, I'm good.”

I walk toward the back of the boat, gripping the glass so tightly that I am sure that it will break. In my head, Anita laughs, that same husky deep throated laugh of my teen years. Such a poisoned pill that she gave me.

I shake my head and walk on, my emotions threatening to roil over.