One Night Only by Catherine Walsh

26

I almost cancel twice, torn between wanting to find out what the hell is going on and burying my head in the sand, but it would be worse not knowing.

I meet them as planned in Barbounia, a chic Mediterranean restaurant that Will and I do the occasional happy hour at. I arrive ten minutes early but the two of them are already there, seated at a table against the wall.

“Declan said the office plans are going well,” Annie says after we’ve hugged.

“It’s great you two are getting along,” Paul says. She’s obviously told him about Declan and me and he gives a cautioning glance at her smug smile.

“Yeah. Well.” I lean back as a waitress pours sparkling water into our glasses. “I wanted to talk to you two about that.”

Annie practically lights up in excitement but Paul frowns, watching me carefully. “Is everything okay?”

“No,” I say. “Yes.” I focus on him, steeling myself. It’s better to just get it over with. “Who’s Fiona?”

Annie’s still grinning at me but Paul grows instantly more guarded. Any lingering hope that I got it all wrong vanishes as soon as I see the look on his face.

“He told you about her?” Paul asks carefully.

“Not exactly.”

Annie glances between us. “Hello? Who’s Fiona?”

I keep my eyes on Paul, who now looks deeply uncomfortable. “Fiona was his wife,” he says after a beat.

“Whose wife?” Annie frowns.

“Declan’s.”

“Declan wasn’t married,” she scoffs. Nobody says anything. “Hang on… he was married?”

Oh my God, she’s dead. I knew it. I knew it. I sit up straighter, feeling a rush of sympathy for him. It’s all beginning to make sense now.

Annie tries and fails to mask her panic. “But he’s not still married, right?”

I take a breath. “She—”

“They’re separated,” Paul says and I stiffen.

“What?” I ask.

“They’ve been officiallyseparated for two years,” he continues. “They don’t see each other. As far as I know they don’t even talk.”

“She’s not dead?”

He looks at me, bewildered. “Not that I’m aware of.”

“Why do I not know about her?” Annie asks.

A server approaches the table, takes one look at our faces and wisely spins away.

“She’s not a part of his life anymore. She wasn’t a part of his life when I met you. It’s not as big a deal as it sounds,” he adds, ignoring Annie’s outraged expression.

“Not a big—”

“What happened?” I interrupt.

“It really isn’t my place,” he begins, but Annie gives him such a glare that he shuts up, accepting his fate. “I don’t know everything.”

“You know more than either of us,” she says sharply.

“Please, Paul,” I add and whatever he sees on my face tears down the last of his resolve.

“You’ve got to understand, they were together for years. Since they were fourteen. What do you call that over here? High school sweethearts? It was just one of those things. For most of my life, I never saw one without the other. Then after college, Fiona got an offer to study in Chicago.”

Chicago.

I take a sip of sparkling water, the bubbles burning my tongue.

“It was a big move. Both of them were worried about it but it’s not like she could turn down an opportunity like that. Declan wouldn’t let her. They decided to marry before she went. Looking back, you think, yeah, maybe they could have just gotten engaged, but they were pretty serious about it. So, they got married and a few months later she left. The plan was for Declan to join her as soon as he could.”

“And then?” Annie asks, still staring daggers at him.

“I don’t know. There was no big moment. She didn’t know anyone over here and found the work tough. Declan hated himself because he couldn’t afford to go out to her. They were both miserable. They used to fight on the phone all the time.” Paul frowns as he remembers. “They never fought before then. Not even over stupid stuff. He couldn’t stand it.”

I feel bizarrely like laughing at this. Declan and I can’t seem to go five minutes without snapping at each other.

“From what I know, Fiona eventually got into the swing of things. She made friends. She did well. By the time Declan came over to see her she was moving on in the world and he couldn’t keep up. A few months later she met someone else. It didn’t last long but it was enough to make her realize she didn’t want to stay married to Dec. She confessed to him and asked for a divorce. Declan didn’t want one. I think he even refused it.”

“Because he still loves her,” I say, my voice flat.

Paul sighs, helpless. “I don’t know. I never know what’s going on in his mind. But it was years ago. They broke up. He was devastated. But he picked himself up. He got over it. By all accounts, he’s moved on.”

I stay silent, fiddling with the cutlery. I mean, obviously I’m glad the woman wasn’t hit by a car or murdered by a serial killer but this… this still sucks. “Stab me in the heart, kick me when I’m down” sucks.

“Are you okay?” Annie asks.

“No,” I say, blowing out a breath. “But it’s good to know the truth.”

“Tell me about it,” she mutters, throwing Paul a dark look. He is suddenly very interested in the menu. “Any more secrets you want to share?”

He smiles nervously at her.

“I suppose he’ll be mad you told me,” I say.

“If I had to choose between Declan or Annie to be mad at me, I’ll choose my brother any day of the week.”

“Too late,” Annie says. “We need another minute,” she says as the server tries again. “A long one.”

“Please give him a chance to explain himself,” Paul says, his voice gentle. “It was a hard part of his life. He doesn’t talk about it even with me. Much less with strangers.”

Strangers? I slept with the man twice and was fully planning on doing it a third time. And now I don’t even think I want an explanation. I don’t think I’ll like the answer.

“Will we get some appetizers?” he continues hopefully.

Neither of us look at him.

“Ah here,” he says. “Can we take a step back and remember I’m not the one we’re mad at?”

“I’m mad at you,” Annie says, tearing into a bread roll. I try and do the same, forcing my hands to move so we’re not just sitting there.

“Look, I’m sure he’s planning on telling you. He’s back Friday and—”

“He’s what?”

Paul’s face goes white as he realizes he made another mistake. “He didn’t tell you?”

“Not when he’d be back.”

“Where is he?” Annie asks.

“Boston.”

My butter knife clatters to the plate. “Where?” I ask, my voice deathly quiet.

Paul looks confused. “He’s in Boston. He said he was going for work.”

“He’s not in Boston,” I say, my voice sounding like it’s coming from very far away. “He’s in Chicago.”

Annie twists to face Paul, her expression murderous, but before anyone can say anything more a shadow falls over the table.

“Excuse me?” The three of us look up at a very nervous server. “Anyone want to hear the specials?”

* * *

And that’s not even the worst part of my day.

After lunch, I arrive back at my desk to find an email from Harvey, asking me to come to a meeting in his office.

I know instantly what’s happening. But instead of horror, a strange sort of calm settles over me, tinged almost by relief that I wouldn’t have to wait for the inevitable anymore. The firm is sinking. And there aren’t enough lifeboats to go around.

He’s standing when I enter. Another woman is there as well. One I’ve never seen before. She’s in a conservative gray skirt, white blouse combo. She has a gentle smile.

“Sarah,” he says. “Thanks for coming. Could you close the door?”

Twenty minutes later I leave the room without a job. Or soon to be without one anyway. I’ve got two weeks and I’ve got severance and it’s not just me. Three others are going as well. As if that’s supposed to make me feel better.

Will is unusually quiet when I return as if he already knows. Or maybe he can just see it on my face.

Harvey told me I can leave early if I want to but it’s only three o’clock and it would be too obvious. Way too obvious. So instead, I clear my throat and wake up my computer, trying to act normal, trying to—

“Sarah?”

Will stands beside my desk, wallet in hand. “You want to go get some fresh air? Grab a coffee?”

“I’m okay.”

“I could really use a cappuccino right now.”

“You go,” I say. “I’ve got to finish this. Grab me a muffin?”

He looks at me dejectedly. “Sure.”

I wait until he goes and then I shut myself in the nearest meeting room as the tears start to spill. Just a few more hours. I just need to make it through a few more hours and then I can go home and I can—

There’s a knock on the door. Will.

“I’m on a call,” I say, wiping my eyes.

“It’s Matthias.”

Ugh.

“Still on a call,” I say.

The door handle twists and I almost yell at him.

“Just…  not right now, okay.” My voice comes out in a shaky breath. I don’t know why I thought I could stay here until five. Matthias steps inside, his expression full of sympathy. Sympathy I could do without.

“Harvey told me this morning,” he says and I feel a twinge of anger at the thought of them discussing me. “I’m so sorry, Sarah. Is there anything I can do?”

“Get me my job back?”

“Come here,” he sighs, wrapping his arms around me. I stiffen immediately.

“Thanks,” I mutter, pulling back.

“It’ll work out in the end. This might be the best move for you.”

“Yeah? How’s that?”

“You weren’t doing well here.”

I frown, trying to think clearly through my tears. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

His voice is still soft, almost cooing. Like he’s talking to a child. “It’s not like you’re raking in the clients, Sarah. You knew this was coming, you stopped trying months ago.” He reaches out to me again, but I shrug away from his touch, moving a few steps away.

“I am bringing in clients.”

“I mean besides your bartender.”

The sneering way he says the words stops me in my tracks. I’ve never heard that tone from him before.

“You know Harvey doesn’t like to be kept in the dark about that stuff,” he continues.

“What are you talking about? Did you tell him we were dating?”

“I thought he knew,” Matthias says innocently. “But you have to know it’s not a good look if the only thing you have lined up is because you’re—”

“What?” I ask sharply. “Sleeping with them? Is that what you think?”

“There’s no need to raise your voice.”

My voice is not raised. “Is this because I didn’t want to go on another date with you?”

He rears back. “Excuse me?”

“It is,” I say as he blinks at me. The look on his face when he caught Declan and me coming out of the meeting. Is that the day he turned on me?

“You think a lot of yourself, don’t you?” he asks.

“More than I used to.” I run a hand across my nose, the tears drying. “Is this how you’ve been spinning it to Harvey?”

“Spinning?” He shakes his head. “You’ve been spending too much time with Will.”

Maybe not enough. Maybe if I had I would have listened to him.

“Did you tell Harvey to take me off the Grayson project?”

“What?”

“I brought them in. I won them with my pitch. Sure, we were hammering out the details but there wasn’t anything we couldn’t work through. It was going well. And then three weeks after you get the promotion it’s suddenly taken from me.”

“They didn’t want you, Sarah,” Matthias says. “I’m sorry to speak so bluntly but—”

“Says who? You said so yourself. They’re going with the terrace. They already signed off on the floor plan and the parking lot. Harvey said they wanted to go in a new direction but they’re not. They’re going with mine. But you wanted the big fancy project so you took it from me.”

“I’m the senior—”

“You took it from me,” I repeat. “When you knew how much I wanted it. How hard I’d worked on it.”

Matthias says nothing for a long moment. And then he shrugs, something slipping from his expression that makes him look like a different person. A colder person. “Maybe you didn’t want it enough.”

“Screw you.”

“It’s not personal, Sarah.”

“It’s business, is that it?”

“I asked Harvey to take over as lead,” he says. “You’re right. Your work was solid, but I wanted it. When I accepted the job offer, I made it one of my conditions. You’re telling me you wouldn’t have done the same thing if I had them?”

“No!” I exclaim. “I wouldn’t have.”

“Then maybe that’s why you didn’t get the job.”

I stare at him in shock. All this time I’ve been doubting myself, but it had been nothing to do with my ideas, my plans. The Grayson Group liked it just fine. It was just because Matthias wanted them. So he took it from me.

He sighs now as if reading my thoughts. “I really am sorry there wasn’t room for the both of us here,” he says. “Harvey planned to transfer your workload over to me, but I asked him to give your boyfriend’s one to Suzie. Didn’t want any conflicts of interest.”

“You—”

“You should go early today,” he says. “I’ll tell Harvey I said you could.”

And then he leaves, closing the door behind him.

* * *

The next few hours are among the most awkward of my life.

I do not go early. I leave at five while Will is packing up. He doesn’t say anything to me, but I can feel his glances.

I thought I’d be coming home to an empty apartment; it doesn’t even occur to me that I wouldn’t be, so it’s something akin to horror I feel when I open the door and realize I’m not.

“Hi, Sarah!” Mark sits on our sofa, leafing through one of Claire’s books. He stands when he sees me.

“Oh hey.” My voice comes out flat even to my ears.

Please leave. Please.

He doesn’t, smiling at me and looking completely at ease.

“Sarah? Mark and I are going for dinner,” Claire calls from her bedroom.

“I’m on a flight back to Seattle in the morning,” he explains. “We’re trying to make the most of our time.”

“Where are you guys going?” I turn rigidly to the kitchen, putting my bag on the counter while Mark tells me about some Asian fusion place everyone is talking about. I hide my misery as I pretend to get a glass of water, making all the right noises.

“Okay!” Claire says, emerging from her room. “I’m ready. Sarah, do you know if…” She takes one look at my face and knows instantly something’s wrong.

“What?” she asks. “What happened?”

I burst into tears.

“Oh God,” Mark says as she hurries over to me. “What did I say?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry,” I cry into Claire’s shoulder.

“What happened?” she asks, more alarmed now as I sob.

“I got fired. They fired me.”

“Oh, honey.” Her arms clench tighter around me. I feel her head shift and know she’s communicating something with Mark.

“I’ll go,” he says a moment later.

“No, stay,” I wail. “Or don’t stay. Both of you go.”

“Don’t be stupid, Sarah. Of course, I’ll stay with you.”

“I’ll call Annie.” I push against her until she releases me. “She’ll come. I’ll only feel worse if you stay,” I say. “Please go. Enjoy your dinner even though I’ve just ruined it.”

“Of course, you haven’t.”

“We can order in,” Mark offers but, of course, that scenario is even too ridiculous to contemplate. I’m not ready to play the third wheel just yet.

“He’s leaving tomorrow,” I say quietly to her. “And I’m embarrassed enough as it is. Go. Please.”

“You’re going to call Annie,” Claire says, holding my arms to keep me in place. “And she’s going to come over. Promise me you’ll call her.”

“I will. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she says. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m going to eat a lot of ice cream.”

“Text me if you need me to come back.”

“I will,” I lie. “Go.

It takes a lot more convincing to get them both out the door but by the time they are my tears have stopped, leaving me sore and dehydrated. I immediately crawl into bed, miserable and feeling inordinately sorry for myself.

A text message comes through an hour later from Declan, confirming what Paul said.

He’s coming back.

And he can’t wait to see me.