Curvy Girls Can’t Date Soldiers by Kelsie Stelting

Twenty-Seven

Nadira

I fellasleep to a goodnight text and woke up to “good morning, beautiful.”

I smiled at my phone before setting it aside to get ready for the day. My friends agreed to meet at Des’s midmorning for a strategy session. As I left the house, my brothers were still asleep, and both of my parents were at work—Mom at the college and Dad at an away game, which gave me all of Saturday free.

I pulled up to Des’s driveway, my stomach tying itself in knots. So much rested on what solution we came up with. I finally realized how much I wanted to meet Apollo. Enough that I was willing to risk this perfect bubble we’d made online to turn it into something real.

The logical part of my mind told me it wouldn’t work. I’d lied to him—catfished him like people did on reality TV. Not only that, but I was in high school and he was in college. I would be in Boston the next semester while he continued his studies at Brentwood U. And then after that? Who knew where our careers would take us.

But for once, I didn’t want to be practical. I wanted to follow my heart, and my heart was pointing at possibility.

Adriel pulled into the driveway soon after me, and I waited for her as she got out of the car. She wound her arm through mine and said, “Are you ready for this?”

Feeling queasy, I shrugged. “I think so.”

“It’s so exciting,” she said, moving us forward. “How romantic that you found each other when you were least expecting it! You didn’t even know you were going to meet him until your mom asked you to help her out. Can you imagine if that person had stuck with the research study or if your mom had never asked you?”

I blanched at the thought. “You’re right.” There were a million ways I could have never met Apollo. In fact, the odds were more in favor of us never crossing paths. But here we were. I didn’t believe in fate, but Apollo had also told me he didn’t believe in coincidences. Maybe he was right. “That has to mean something... right?”

“Definitely,” she said, reaching up to knock on the door.

“You don’t need to knock,” I said, turning the knob. “Mama De thinks it’s an insult. She wants us to feel like family.”

“That’s so sweet,” Adriel said as we entered the house. I could hear the crashing of video games from the basement where Des’s brothers were sure to be, and the TV played in the living room, her sister and Mom sitting on the couch.

They twisted toward us, and Mama De said, “Hola, chicas!” She pushed up from the couch. “Let me get you some food.”

Adriel chuckled. “Twist my arm, Mama De.”

“Where’s Des?” I asked, looking around.

“Here!” Des came out of her room in a bikini, and my eyes widened.

“What are you wearing?” Usually she waited until we were at least by the water to skimp down. And I hadn’t known the beach was part of our plans today.

“We’re going to lay out while we talk, right?” she said. “Didn’t you bring a suit?”

I shook my head.

“Borrow one of mine,” she replied, like it was no big deal at all. “Top drawer of my dresser.”

I looked from Des to Adriel and asked, “Did you bring one?”

Adriel lifted her hair off her neck, showing a knotted halter top.

I shook my head and headed toward Des’s room. “Fine.” But Des’s swimsuit collection was not fine.

I dug through the drawer full of suits and scoffed. Was there nothing that covered a belly button in here? I pulled out a tangle of fabric, thinking I’d finally struck gold, but the one-piece had so many cutouts it was more revealing than a bikini!

I groaned, finally reaching for the suit with the most coverage. It looked like a long sports bra and spandex shorts, but it would have to do. I slipped it on and then hurriedly put on my leggings and T-shirt.

When I went back to the living area, all of my friends were there, snacking on sopapillas and honey. Mama De was already on the couch with Des’s younger sister, watching a telenovela. That woman had to be magic for how quickly she could make someone feel full and loved.

Des picked up a plate with the sugary bread. “Let’s go outside?”

“Sure,” Cori agreed. Today she was wearing a crop top, and I admired the way she showed off her stomach despite the extra flesh there. Despite the purple stripes of stretch marks coloring her pale skin.

She smiled at me and said, “I can’t believe he called you baby.”

Mama De whistled from the couch, and my cheeks instantly heated. We stepped outside, and I shook my head, admitting, “I can’t believe it either.”

Faith said, “I’m so happy for you, but also... Forever alone.”

I snorted. “Just wait until he sees what I look like.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Des said, wagging her finger at me. “You promised to be nicer to yourself.”

I pretended to zip my lips. Although, the sentiment stood. I dropped into one of the beach chairs near the waves rolling toward the shore. The bright sun warmed my body, even though the water was probably still freezing. It felt nice to have the saltwater breeze on my skin and be with girls who knew me—fat, vitiligo, catfishing, and all—and still loved me.

“So let’s plan,” Cori said, taking off her crop top to let the sun hit her shoulders. “Can you just call him and tell him the truth?”

Des frowned, shaking her head. She lay down, resting the bowl of chips on her bare stomach and the guac on her chest between the triangles of fabric covering her breasts.

I raised my eyebrows. “Wait, are you seriously going to use your boobs like a cupholder?”

She waggled her eyebrows. “What else are they good for?”

Adriel smirked. “I bet your man of the hour has a few ideas.”

Faith nearly choked and broke into a coughing fit that had all of us laughing.

Des shook her head and dipped a chip in guac. “You can’t tell him over the phone because he could get upset and ghost you. You have one week left until the month’s up. Why don’t you meet him in person, and then you’ll be able to explain, you know? See his reaction.”

Cori frowned. “She has a point.”

Faith seemed disappointed. “But that’s just another week of lying.”

Des nodded. “But it’s already been three at this point. What’s one more?”

The more they spoke, the tighter my T-shirt and the swimsuit underneath it felt. I tugged at the strap. “Maybe I should just forget it.”

My friends broke into outcries of dissent.

“You can’t do that!” Cori said. “He likes you. The real you, remember?”

“He doesn’t know the real me,” I argued. “And besides. What if the real me is repulsive to him? Even if he likes my personality, we can’t just have an entire relationship online!”

Adriel quirked an eyebrow. “Don’t you already?”

Cori tapped her nose. “And you’re not giving yourself enough credit, babe. Look at you!” She pointed at me. “We’re out here on one of the warmest days since winter and you’re still fully clothed! Why should you be ashamed of how you look? They should be ashamed for judging you!”

Des crunched on a boob chip. “Here, here!”

Adriel nodded. “Maybe it’s like stage fright, you know? I was always terrified of getting on stage, but I kept dancing. Kept performing like I wasn’t scared, and eventually it got better. I never loved the limelight, but at least going on stage didn’t make me sick.”

Faith said, “Kind of like fake it ‘til you make it?”

“Exactly!” Adriel said. “Fake your confidence until you feel it.”

“Starting now,” Des said before I could back out or even think it over for that matter.

“Now?” I asked.

Cori clapped her hands together. “Take it off!”

I shook my head and gripped at the edge of my T-shirt. “What’s this going to do? Huh?” I pulled it over my head. Then I shimmied out of my leggings, feeling the shorts already riding up my dimpled legs. “What is showing my fat to the world going to do?”

Des set the chips aside and sat up, leaning toward me. “This is exactly what you need to do. You need to stop covering up and show yourself, Apollo, and the world who you truly are.”

Cori shook her head. “That’s not everything.”

“What do you mean?” Des asked.

Cori met my eyes, her light blue ones holding my gaze steady. “Des is right. You need to show him who you truly are. But then don’t apologize. Every time you apologize or hide behind clothes, you’re telling every single curvy girl that they should cover up too. That fat’s something to be ashamed of. I know you love us too much to think that’s true.”

For once, I couldn’t disagree. “So it’s settled,” I said, pacing in the sand and feeling exposed in more ways than one. “I’ll tell Apollo that I’ll meet him on Friday at Emerson Trails...maybe the north trailhead so it won’t be so crowded. And when he gets there, I’ll tell him that I’m Nadira. I’ll explain why I showed him Tatiana’s picture. And then I’ll beg him to forgive me and hope he says yes.”

Silence hung in the air, only broken by the soft sound of waves and wind.

Then Faith said, “You’re just forgetting one thing.” She grinned. “The part where he kisses you, and you live happily ever after.”