Curvy Girls Can’t Date Soldiers by Kelsie Stelting
Author’s Note
I can’t believe this story is over. In many ways, it’s been the most difficult book I’ve written in the Curvy Girl Club. As you know, Nadira really struggled with self-esteem, more so than the other curvy girls I’ve written. I know everyone loves to read about a strong, confident plus-sized woman, but the truth is that’s not always reality. In a society that values thinness above many other attributes, it is hard to be a self-loving curvy girl.
Not only does Nadira contend with her size, she also has a skin condition that makes her stand out more, along with being a major math genius. Although I never had vitiligo, I related to Nadira more than is truly comfortable to admit.
In my hometown, athletes were treated like royalty. Although I played sports, I was never the best, and I was always more academically inclined. No matter how well I did in school, it always felt like I was “less-than” others. Boys would teasingly tell me to use smaller words so they could understand.
Nadira struggled with being compared to her brothers’ athletic success and the conventional beauty of other girls in school like Isabella and Tatiana. However, one of the people who judged Nadira the most was herself.
She had a mean voice in her head that said she wasn’t beautiful, wasn’t worthy of love. So anytime someone echoed those thoughts, it completely destroyed her. The problem is, falling in love with a nice guy doesn’t take away that voice.
This isn’t the story of Nadira getting a boyfriend and suddenly loving herself. It’s the story of a young woman realizing how much damage that self-deprecating voice had done and working to treat herself with so much more kindness than she ever had before.
Loving yourself isn’t a decision you make one day and that’s it. No, loving yourself is a constant battle against the voice in your head formed from years of mean words and societal pressures. It’s a commitment to choosing the way you speak to yourself and gently setting yourself on the right path when a course correction is needed.
No matter where you are on your journey, I hope you know you deserve to speak to yourself as you would your own best friend. I know you can get there, and I’ll walk the journey with you.
