The Guardian by Diana Knightley

Fifty-five - Kaitlyn

Eventually, a doctor came out to tell me that the surgery was more complicated than they thought and it would take longer and...

Emma startled awake when he entered and moved to sit beside me on the couch with her arm around me while I listened.

Magnus’s situation was ‘complicated’. The doctor stood with his hands behind his back, head down. He had the sound of someone delivering ‘news’ and trying for it not to sound positive or negative and, like any human, that made me try to guess what he was hiding. My brain was whirring and I couldn’t make out all he was saying: performing a minimally-invasive heart surgery... usually... would take a few hours... but... more difficult... he guessed... it would be longer... before we knew.

He would let me know.

Images flashed in my mind: Magnus on his back, surgeons cutting into him.

I was shaky and very very afraid, and as soon as the physician walked out of the room the tears began to flow.

Emma held on around my shoulders and passed me tissues until I was able to regain my composure.

But I couldn’t talk, or think, nothing coherent. I was flooded in fear, riding it like a whitewater rapid. It was one ongoing mid-level panic attack and my coping skills were shite.

I just stared into space as hour after hour passed by.

Then the doctor re-entered the room. “Your Highness, the surgery is done, the king has come through very well. We were able to clean out the scar tissue. The arteries are like new. We believe there will be a full recovery.”

Zach and Emma cheered, quietly, but still it was enough commotion to wake the kids. Isla began to cry, of course, because that’s how she would do.

“Thank you, thank you so much, I’m so relieved,” I said.

“He’s sleeping now, he should sleep until the morning. I recommend everyone go get some rest in real beds.”

He left down the hall and I hugged everyone and then we lifted kids off couches and the house manager led us down the hall. I dropped Zach and Emma and their kids off in the Green Suite, Beaty in the Silver Suite, and then carried Isla and led Archie into the Gold Suite, the nicest guest room we had since the royal apartment was a ruin.

I dropped Isla into the middle of the bed. She asked, “Da sleepy?”

“Yes sweetie, he’s sleeping. We’ll get to see him in the morning.”

Archie threw his arms around my waist and I held onto him. “You heard the physician? He’s good.”

“I ken,” he said, nodding.

I leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “Climb up in bed, you’re pretty filthy, but we’ll have to do a proper wash tomorrow.”

He climbed under the covers beside his sister. While I went to the bathroom and took a shower, washing every crack and crevice three times, shampooing and conditioning, then I dried off in a towel remembering how much Magnus had missed towels.

And thinking, ‘He was right, freshly laundered, soft towels are the pinnacle of human existence.’ I wrapped a towel in my hair, pulled on a robe, and climbed into bed too, with sparkle and shine and hope for tomorrow.

I was out of bed at dawn. It had only been a couple of hours of sleep but I made up for it in excitement. And coffee in my freaking room.

Emma and Beaty came to help Archie and Isla get cleaned up while I ate a couple of bites of a delicious pastry, but not much because my stomach was empty, but churning with dread. Everyone else was moaning in ecstasy over the food while the kids splashed in the bathtub.

I kissed them goodbye and left for the infirmary. Emma and Beaty would bring the kids as soon as Magnus was officially awake and ready to see them.

I was so thankful for the help, I couldn’t be a good enough mom right now, I was too busy being a barely-hanging-in-there wife.

The hallways of the palace were full of people and activity, especially workers, builders, renovators. It was a little like when Balloch castle was being built centuries ago. People nodded and bowed as I walked by, “Your Highness,” they said, or “Good morning,” and, “Welcome back.”

But then the doors to the infirmary opened and it was quiet, dark, and desolate. I gulped. I was definitely feeling a mood.

I passed through the waiting room to his room, and in the middle of the four poster bed, Magnus was still asleep.