Dark Desires by Candace Wondrak

Chapter Two – Jaxon

I’d just gotten breakfast, scarfed it down, and was wandering the halls of the house aimlessly when I ran into someone I didn’t particularly want to talk to. And, no, it wasn’t Markus. Hell, I didn’t really want to talk to anyone right now.

My head wasn’t in the right space; I knew this. I knew this, and yet I couldn’t snap my mind out of it. I’d never known what it was like to feel bad before, but I did now. I felt bad for bringing Juliet here. She was too good for this house, for the people living under its roof—including me. She was too good, too pure, everything none of us were. Nothing we strived to be.

She was perfect, and I knew this house would break her. More specifically, Markus. I knew Markus would break her, and he’d use any tool in his belt to do it, even me. How could I say no? How could I fight back when he wailed on me just to prove a point to her?

The answer was I couldn’t.

I mean, I could, hypothetically, but then what? It wasn’t like I wanted to take Markus’s position in the family and conduct business. I didn’t have a mind for that. He did. I was just here for the ride, a worker bee. This family had saved me from a life on the street, a life in foster care. They’d adopted me in, taught me everything I needed to know.

They taught me how to kill, how to maim, how to instill fear—and I did it. I did everything I was asked to, but of course I’d rather lay around in college, go to school, go on dates, go to parties. Live the life I should’ve been living right now instead of this, if my biological parents would’ve wanted me.

Juliet. I hated I was involved in hurting her. I hated I’d pulled away from her kiss. I wanted… well, I guess it didn’t much matter what I wanted, not right now. Markus said all hands off Juliet, and that meant mouths and other body parts, too.

Anyway, back to reality, when Doc stopped me in the hall, just outside his office.

“Jaxon,” he spoke, and my legs stopped. It took everything in me to pull myself out of my stupor. I felt out of it, which was ridiculous. This should be just another job, like the countless of others I’d done for this family. I shouldn’t care about Juliet.

But I did, and I guess that was the problem.

Theo Ward was our resident doctor. Truth be told, he wasn’t much older than me, but he’d spent his time in medical school, getting all the knowledge he’d need to take care of any injuries the members of this family might get. His father had been the Scott’s doctor before, but the man retired, even though he wasn’t at the typical retiring age.

Couldn’t blame him. I mean, who’d want to spend more time in this house willingly than they had to? I bet Doc already counted down the days.

“What do you want?” I asked. Theo and I didn’t often talk, not unless we had to. He wasn’t a family member, and he didn’t quite understand what we did or why we did it. Still, he was loyal, which was more than you could say for most people these days. Loyalty was hard to come by, and when you did what we did here, once you found someone loyal, you never let them go.

Or you did, and then you waited until they came crawling back. I think that’s what Markus hoped Vaughn would do, eventually. It’s what Lincoln and Ed did, or so I’d been told. I was a kid back then, too young to really pay attention to much.

Doc reached for his glasses, taking them off and looking around. “May I have a word with you?”

“More than those, you mean?”

He looked at me after putting his glasses back on, his amber eyes unimpressed with my facetious comeback. “In my office, please.” He said nothing else, turning on his heel and heading inside, where I was meant to follow.

No one was nearby in the hall. I knew I didn’t have to go inside to talk to him about whatever it was, but I did. I did, even though I didn’t really want to. When I followed him, I found he paced the length of the space before his desk.

He looked up at me, saying, “Close the door, if you would.”

I just barely resisted my urge to roll my eyes, pulling the door shut behind me before crossing my arms and glaring at him. “Can you tell me what this is about?” As far as I was concerned, Theo Ward and I didn’t have much to talk about besides business, and I didn’t think he and I had any family business to talk about right now.

“Yes, of course,” he quickly muttered, stumbling over his words a bit. Doc was not the kind of man who knew what to say in every situation. He wasn’t calm and collected at all times, like Markus. Sometimes, the man was a bit awkward, and now was definitely one of those times. “I don’t know if you heard about what happened, but—”

“She tried to escape,” I cut in, jaw grinding. “I know.”

Oh, Juliet. Juliet, Juliet, Juliet. I’d warned her not to get on Markus’s bad side. I’d told her not to do anything that might anger him. I’d told her things would be better if she would just listen to him and do as he asked.

Did it surprise me to know she fought against him at every turn? No, of course not, because each time I looked at her, I could see the fire behind her big, blue eyes. A fire hidden behind a veil of sweetness and innocence. An oxymoron if I ever saw one.

“No, no, I mean, Markus reacted. He had Bennet fetch someone to put on a show for her.”

“He did?” My heart pounded a bit faster at hearing that.

Doc nodded, appearing grave. “Oh, yes. Bennet was so thrilled at having something to do for the family, he would not stop bragging about it. Of course, Bennet didn’t know why Markus wanted a fresh body, but I put two and two together.”

“Shit,” I swore as I looked away from him, imagining all of the scenarios. I mean, it could’ve been worse, I supposed. He could’ve hurt Juliet instead—but even I knew sometimes the mental scars hurt worse than the physical ones.

“I heard he pulled her out this morning,” Doc went on. “What she saw in that basement, what he locked her in… I imagine it’s weighing on her. Given how close you two are, I think it’s prudent you check on her and make sure she’s all right.” He finally stopped pacing, leaning his backside on his desk.

“Why don’t you do it, if you’re so worried about her?” I tried to act as though I didn’t care, but I think we all knew just because you tried something didn’t mean you automatically succeeded. It was damned near impossible for me to pretend I didn’t give a shit about that girl.

I did, hence the issue here. Hence why I’d gotten beat to shit and had to distance myself from her.

Doc straightened his shoulders. “I would, but I think it would mean more if it came from you. Trust me, Jaxon, I thought about marching down to her room and refusing to leave her side, but as you can imagine, I can’t. I’m needed here, in case…” He stopped himself from saying anything more, but I knew what he meant.

The doctor of the house couldn’t just disappear.

I sighed, lowering my voice to a whisper as I said, “If I go to her, I not only put her in danger, but myself as well. You saw what Markus did to me to get her to take those fucking pills. I’d rather not have a repeat of that.”

He waited a moment before nodding along with me. “Right. You are undoubtedly correct. If Markus knew you went to comfort her, he might lash out again—but I can’t help but wonder how long she’ll last in this house with no one at her side.” He heaved a sigh, moving to sit behind his desk. He shuffled a few papers around aimlessly, muttering, “Certainly not much longer.”

It was like Doc knew exactly what to say to make me do something stupid. It was like the man knew by dismissively saying that, he knew I’d break and go to her. Fucking Doc.

I grumbled to myself as I left his office, heaving a giant sigh because I knew I had to. Markus had Bennet kidnap someone all to make a point to Juliet. Somehow, it wasn’t shocking, but I knew Doc was right. Juliet wouldn’t last long here, especially after that. A nice, quiet girl like her, someone who’d never seen the world… how could she possibly live with herself after watching someone die and being locked up in the same room as his corpse for hours on end? Something like that was bound to leave scars even on a regular person, and we all knew Juliet wasn’t one of those.

She was as innocent as someone could be, a delicate, fragile, beautiful girl who, until recently, had no idea how dark the nights could get, how bloody and gruesome true horror was.

I had to go to her. I couldn’t sit back and let this be. I had to talk to her, look at her, make sure she was still whole. I could do that without touching her, without holding her, right? I could be in the same room as her while holding myself back. I wasn’t an animal.

Not usually.

My legs moved quickly, my pace a fast one as I headed to the nearest stairwell to the second floor. I’d intended on going into her room without seeing a soul—for surely it would make my plausible deniability more realistic—but that plan was shot to hell when I saw Will standing just outside her door, looking at his nails, bored.

I thought about turning around, but the moment Will looked up at me, it was too late. Our gazes locked, and I internally cursed as I walked up to him. Should’ve figured Markus would want someone guarding her room, someone that wasn’t me.

“Will,” I addressed him, hiding my frown. Like me, Will had been brought in to the family. He wasn’t a Scott by blood, but he was just as sick in the head most were. He was tall, though not as thick with muscle as most of the older Scotts. His hair was a dirty brown color, his eyes hazel—another unique thing here. Scotts usually had pitch-black hair and equally dark eyes, and when their eyes were different, they were typically blue.

Depended on their mothers, I guess, since the elder Scott literally had a harem of them.

Will smirked. “I’d ask you what you’re doing here, but I have the feeling I already know.”

Instead of denying it, which would surely be pointless, I asked, “How is she?”

“How do you think?” he answered me, his smirk leaving, replaced by a slight frown. It was almost as if he hated what Markus had done and he couldn’t hide it. “She saw someone die, and he made her…”

“He made her what?”

“He made her feel steel in her hands, made her stab him. She didn’t want to do it.” Will’s gaze fell to the floor between us, at the fancy carpet in the hall. “I had to hold onto her, when Markus wasn’t. I wish I could’ve done something.”

I knew Will’s story, knew what happened in his past to bring him here. I knew there was a lot of mental instability there, and yet here and now, everything he said made sense, for I would’ve felt the same if I’d been in his place.

He had to hold her, force her to watch, and then Markus made her feel it herself. Fuck.

“No one’s supposed to go in and see her, not yet,” Will added. “I can’t tell if he feels bad for what he did, or if he wants her to suffer more.” His eyes met mine, though they did flick around to make sure no one else was nearby. “She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. She’s so much better than any of us.”

Wow. I never thought I’d agree with Will, but there I was, nodding in agreement to his words. Juliet really was better than any of us, on every single level. She was something we could never be, and Markus was intent on destroying her to teach a lesson to her father. I didn’t know the details, and I doubted anyone in this house did other than Markus himself, but surely he’d get to the point where enough was enough.

I just prayed once that time came, we let her go instead of killing her. I was loyal, I did whatever was asked of me, but if Markus asked me to kill her, I didn’t think I could do it.

“I know,” I whispered back. “I feel bad for bringing her here.”

“You didn’t have a choice.”

“None of us have a choice.” That held true if you were a Scott or not. In this house, what Markus said goes. That’s just how it was, and we all had to deal with it.

Will leaned closer to me, his voice hardly audible when he whispered, “What if there was a choice here?” When I said nothing, only stared at him, he went on, “Markus isn’t here. I don’t see why he’d have to know if you went in there.” He shrugged. “She’s probably still scared out of her mind, and I don’t think she’d want to see me right now, not after I held her and made her watch.”

I didn’t see why Will would care about her so much, whether she was in there scared or not, but then it hit me, and it hit me hard: he liked her. Will liked Juliet. The thought was hard for me to process, and even though I should’ve jumped on his offer, I stood there, staring at him for far too long.

He liked her.

I… I didn’t think I liked the fact that he had feelings for her, mainly because I knew what he could do, how much of a liar he could be. If he could make the world believe his innocence while growing up, surely he could play the same games here. I didn’t trust him, but what he said wasn’t wrong.

Juliet was in there, thinking God knew what, all alone. She shouldn’t be alone. She should have someone, and if Will was on the lookout, what would be the harm?

“You’ll call out if someone’s coming?” I questioned him.

Will nodded. “Yeah, I’ll give you enough time to hide under the bed or something.” He smirked again.

God, I didn’t trust him. I didn’t trust him at all, and yet something inside me nagged at me, told me I couldn’t just walk away. I wasn’t there, so I didn’t see what Markus did in the basement, but I could imagine it easily enough, just like I could imagine how messed up it had gotten Juliet.

She wasn’t meant for a life like this. She wasn’t made for it. She was… she really was on another level, a higher level.

I moved past Will, gathering up all of my anxieties and bundling them away for later. If Markus somehow found out about this, I’d take the brunt of his anger later. For now, I had to see her, talk to her, make sure she was all right.

And, above all else, try to keep my hands off her; if these hands of mine touched her, there was no telling when I’d stop.

I moved quietly into her room, the door closing behind me. Juliet stood near the window, leaning on the wall beside it, a blanket draped around her shoulders, as if she’d pulled it right off the bed for a makeshift robe. The bundled look made her seem even smaller, and as I walked closer to her, she did not take her eyes off the glass.

My feet stopped when I stood a few feet behind her, the space between us both too far and not big enough. I opened my mouth to say something, anything to break the silence, to tell her that I was here for her, but she spoke first, “I don’t think I’ll try to run away again anytime soon.”

I watched as she pulled herself away from the window, turning to face me, head back on the drywall. Juliet clutched the blanket around her shoulders, tucked away, the only part of her I could see her head and her neck. Her sapphire gaze met mine, its normal twinkle gone, replaced by a sadness, a deep-seated horror.

A horror for Markus, for me, for everything that went on in this house.

“I don’t want anyone else to lose their life because of me,” she added quietly. “Besides,” Juliet paused as she glanced over her shoulder, at the window, at the world outside and its sunny day, “I wouldn’t know how to get home, anyway, so it’s probably for the best.” She sounded so miserable. So broken.

I hated it. I hated she felt like this. I hated Markus had made her like this, had shown her something she never should’ve seen. Yes, his point was made, but at what cost?

The silence that stretched between us after that was a long one, a heavy one, and it took every bit of strength inside me to force myself to say, “I heard. I’m… I’m sorry, Juliet. I’m sorry he did that.”

Once again, she looked at me, but this time, something else resided in her gaze, something other than sorrow and hurt. “Are you? Because from where I stand, you’re all psychopaths, and I’m pretty sure people like you don’t feel sorry for anything.”

Something inside me flinched at her words, but I didn’t let it show. I would not show her how much her words hurt me. I wanted… well, what I wanted right now didn’t matter, and I couldn’t blame her for lumping me in with the rest. We were all the same, when you got down to it. Not a soul in this house could argue otherwise.

When I said nothing, Juliet plowed on, “You’re crazy. I might not know much about the world, but I know you’re all crazy.” She took a step forward, towards me, though it was more like a shuffling of her feet since the blanket was wrapped around her frame so tightly. “I hate you. I hate all of you.”

Juliet stood less than an arm’s reach from me now, and I flexed my fingers at my sides, reminding myself not to reach out for her, not to pull her close and hold her. She probably wouldn’t accept comfort from me right now, anyway.

Still, I wanted to. I wanted to hold her, to feel those lips on mine again and not pull away from them. I wanted to show her that just because we were capable of awful things didn’t mean we couldn’t also be kind, gentle… loving, even. We could be just as multifaceted as the people out there; we weren’t just homicidal maniacs with a thirst for blood.

“I told you,” I whispered, “it would be easier that way, didn’t I?”

Juliet’s lips thinned somewhat, and her lungs let out a shaky sigh. She knew I was right, and she had no comeback ready for me. She simply stood there, silent, the truth of what we did here weighing so heavily on those thin shoulders of hers.

Even though I probably shouldn’t, I inched closer, getting as close to her as I could without taking her into my arms. I angled my head downward as I murmured, “Some people in this house might not feel sorry, you’re right, but I’m not one of them.” I lifted a single hand, going to brush the hair out of her face.

And she recoiled.

It was just a quick thing, a little, tiny movement of the features on her face, but I caught it. I saw it happen, and I dropped my hand, stopping just short of touching her. Fuck, even though I’d told her it would be easier for all of us, it still felt just as hard. How could that be?

“I hate that he did this to you,” I whispered, and her blue eyes were slow to rise, slow to lock stares with me. “I hate that I brought you here. If I could change things…” If I could, I would, but I couldn’t, and so here we were, at an impasse.

“What I saw,” Juliet’s voice shook, trembling with raw emotion, “how can you see something like that every day and not think about it all the time? How can you act so normal when you’ve…” She quieted. “…when you’ve killed?”

I spoke the truth, “Some people are just better at it than others.”

“How many?” Juliet’s breath came out short, almost like she was about to have a panic attack. “How many have you—”

I didn’t let her finish the question, “You don’t want to know, really, do you?”

Her eyes closed, her head turning down. “No, I guess not.”

“Juliet,” I whispered her name as softly as I could, speaking it in a way I’d never spoken anyone else’s name before. Tender, gentle, everything I wasn’t—but I wanted to be, for her. Instead of touching her, I set a hand on the blanket she held around her, near her side. She didn’t move away from me, which was good.

I should just leave. I shouldn’t stay. Staying would only make things worse, and yet physically pulling myself away from her seemed like the most unimaginable thing ever.

“I thought you wanted to avoid me,” she said. “I figured you didn’t want to see me, after…”

“Like I said, it’s what’s best,” I told her, but that said, I didn’t pull away from her. “But maybe, if you wanted, we could forget about all of that—for now.” Nothing could happen between us. Nothing would last. She was a job.

She could be no more than a job to me, to all of us.

But if that was true, why did I never want to leave her side? Why did I get so angry when I imagined the things Markus had shown her in the basement? Why did I ache for her when I knew doing so would be the worst kind of pointless?

Juliet was the flame, whether she tried to be or not, and I was but a helpless, hapless moth, clumsily fluttering about, trying to find the safest way in. Joke was on me, though, for no safe way existed. It was dangerous all around, and I would get burned to a crisp, her flames eating me up until there was nothing left.

Juliet stared at me for a while, worlds of emotion passing on her face. Her hair was a little damp, kinky as it framed her face. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but eventually she whispered, “Will you lay with me, for a while?” Not quite hopeful, but not quite hopeless, either. Somewhere in the middle, as if she was afraid to be either one.

How the hell could I look at this girl and say no? Whatever willpower I had before was gone now, and I knew I’d pay for this later. Selfishly, I didn’t care. I wanted to be here, with her, to do whatever it was she wanted. I wanted to show her I could be good, even if only for today.

I nodded, and together, we moved to her bed. The sheets were all messed up due to her taking one to use as a wrap, but she didn’t seem to mind. Juliet crawled on top of the bed first, waiting for me to follow before laying down.

As we lay down together, I felt my heart start to pound faster. Being on a bed with her, probably a bad idea, but then again, this girl had never dated, had she? Had she ever…

That was not a thought I should be having, not at all. Her past sex life or lack of one shouldn’t be something that crossed my mind at all—and yet here I was, my mind wondering just that.

Did she want to? Did she think about it? I knew I thought about it, but I was a guy, and it wasn’t like I was a virgin or anything. There was no saving myself for marriage or anything like that. I never really thought about my future beyond the family, so it didn’t seem like something important.

But here… now… now, it seemed important, if only for her. Like everything in my past had built me up, helped lead to this moment, and I wasn’t worthy. I wasn’t good enough for Juliet. And yet, I was here with her.

She had her back to me for a while, but eventually she rolled onto her other side, curling against my chest. She still held onto the blanket, keeping it wrapped firmly around her, and I was cautious in draping an arm over her side to hold her close. To keep her tucked away against my body. If I could block out the entire world for her, I would gladly do so.

Juliet really did deserve so much better than us.

“My pajamas got bloody,” she whispered. “They were the only thing I had from home.” Juliet’s voice sounded so abysmally sad and downtrodden, and I felt horrible. Horrible she had to go through all that, angry that Markus would do this to her. Markus was an asshole, but I think we all knew that by now.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered back, because what else was there to say? What else could I tell her? There was nothing I could say to ease the pain she felt, and I doubted anything I could do would help, either.

What she said next stunned me, rendered me speechless for a good, long while: “I’m going to die here.”

When it finally dawned on me, when her words finally registered in my brain, I pulled back enough to look at her, “What?” It was all I could say in return. Even if it might be true, hearing her say it… it made me realize how badly I wanted her to be wrong.

I didn’t want this girl to die.

“I’m going to die here,” she repeated, eyes staring at me, not particularly hard, but still. Juliet sounded so depressed about it, as she rightfully should. “I know it. You don’t have to bother denying it. I know Markus won’t ever let me go, not after I saw what you guys do. I’m… I’m trapped here, for as long as it takes, until—”

I stopped her by bringing up the arm I’d draped over her side, running my fingers along her cheekbone. Her skin felt warm under my touch, and I fought the urge to pull off the blanket she had wrapped around her and touch her in other places. “I may not be able to change anything, but I can try. You deserve to have a long, happy life.”

The fingers on her cheekbone fell to trace her jaw, nearing a dangerous place: her mouth. Oh, that mouth. What a fool I’d been to push her away, to yell at her, to tell her to stop caring. I saw it now, knew it in my soul; a girl like her wore her heart on her sleeve, even if it was to her detriment. She could no more stop caring than I could stop wanting her.

Impossible. It was just impossible.

Juliet didn’t squirm away from me. She stayed there, letting me touch her face, letting my fingers dance dangerously close to those luscious lips. “If I was out there, would I?”

Her question stunned me, and I couldn’t answer.

“Would I live a long, happy life, or would I be a prisoner forever?”

Right. Because she’d basically gone from one prison to another, from the one her father had built around her, practically brainwashing her, to one of the Scott’s design, to Markus’s. She was obviously much safer at home, with her father, a whole lot more so than here, and yet I still couldn’t give her an answer. I didn’t know.

Would her father have kept her locked away forever, until the day he died, leaving alone a woman who had hardly ever stepped foot in the outside world? How would she learn to navigate it? How would she survive on her own?

Juliet gave me a smile. It was half-hearted at best, mournful at worst. “The more I think about it, the more I just don’t know. How sad is that? I used to think it’s what was best, but now I think I realize how wrong it is. It took this cage to make me realize I’d been in one my whole life. I just wish it wasn’t too late.”

I looked at her, both our heads resting on a pillow. Just inches between us. Inches, and that blanket wrapped around her body like a cocoon.

“There’s so much I want to do, you know? So much I haven’t done. A lot I want to experience before I die.” Those big, blue eyes caught me in their web, and I could not look away, even if I tried to.

And, obviously, I didn’t try to. There was nowhere else in this room I’d rather look than at her beautiful face.

Fuck. I was in deep. Too deep.

Even though it was probably a dumb thing to do, I found my head leaning toward hers, my fingers sweeping back to weave through her damp yellow hair. I brought my mouth to hers, swallowing whatever other words she would say. I kissed her softly, drawing out the embrace, breathing in her air and everything that made her Juliet Osborne.

You could get drunk off a feeling like this. I needed to be careful, but the longer my mouth was on hers, the more I felt her supple lips reciprocating the embrace, and the less careful I wanted to be.

I wanted her. I wanted her in every single way, and even though I should pull back and get myself under control, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. My lower half grew warm, my cock twitching and coming alive.

Fuck. I should pull back. I should stop kissing her. I should end this before it went too far—for surely it would go farther than this if we didn’t stop.

I labored to pull my lips off hers, practically panting by the time I did so. When I opened my eyes, I saw her cheeks were flushed in an adorable way, her mouth parted as she breathed raggedly. If she looked like that after a kiss, how would she look after having my dick inside her?

Or during?

Shit.

Shit, this wasn’t good.

I pulled my hand out of her hair, abruptly sitting up. I didn’t bother trying to adjust myself or hide the slight erection pressing against my jeans. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” I muttered, seconds from getting up and leaving the room.

It’s what had to be done. We couldn’t… we just couldn’t. Even though Will was outside, Markus would find out, somehow. The man had a sixth sense. He’d find out, make her more miserable, punish me for giving in to the baser urges I felt when I was near her. It was a bad idea all around, and we both knew it.

But Juliet didn’t let me leave. She sat up with me, finally letting go of that blanket, revealing a baggy t-shirt. It fell around her as she reached for me, her hand curling around my arm to stop me. “Don’t go,” she whispered. “Please, stay with me.”

“I shouldn’t.”

She said nothing else, moving to kneel beside me on the bed. Her hand still clutched my arm, but her other found my chest, running down it. Even though there was fabric between our skin, everywhere she touched lit on fire, my body yearning to pin hers down and get hotter.

“I’m not afraid of you, Jaxon,” Juliet whispered, lifting those blue eyes to mine.

“You should be,” I told her, and she should rightfully be. I could hurt her just as easily as Markus could, and then where would she be? I was no white knight, not here to protect her. If I fought against Markus, he’d kill me.

Still, I supposed I could stay a little longer… provided our clothes stayed on.

“Five more minutes,” I said, though I had the feeling I’d stay a lot longer than that.

Together, we lay back down, and this time, with no blanket between us. She clung to my chest, her body heat mingling with mine, only serving to make me hotter. I fought the urge to take her, to have her—which was fucking hard, especially with how tempting those lips were.

Those lips… let’s just say I wasn’t as strong as I should’ve been. I got very acquainted with those lips of hers.

And a severe case of blue balls, but once I managed to pull myself away and leave, I was able to take care of that myself.