Home to Stay by Maryann Jordan
9
Wednesday dawned dreary, a chilly Maine spring with rain in the forecast. As the children talked excitedly about John’s visit, Lucy had to pull from deep within her optimistic reserves to not want to cancel the entire visit. I can do this. I can be professional. I can be pleasant. Just a visit from someone the children corresponded with. Not my crush. Not my dream man. Not my… anything.
Huffing, she flipped the light switch a few times to bring the children to order and had them take their seats again just as the rain pelted against the windows. Giving them their last instructions while Mrs. Farthingale had gone to fetch John from the office, she heard footsteps approach. Steeling her spine, she plastered a wide smile on her face and turned to face the door. But seeing him enter, his gaze sweeping over the classroom and not stopping until landing on her, her breath left her lungs in a rush. She was saved from embarrassment only because the children clapped to welcome him.
Walking forward with her hand outstretched, she ignored the flash of doubt she noted in his eyes and greeted, “Welcome back, Sergeant Roster.”
His eyes widened slightly but that was the only way she could determine that indicated he might have wondered how she would greet him. He took her hand in his, and she hoped he didn’t feel the tremble in her fingers. His gaze shot down to her hand. I should have known the super-soldier would notice that!
“It’s nice to see you again, Ms. Carrington.”
His rich, low voice was like velvet, and she sucked in another breath to steady herself. “As you can see, the class is excited to have you come for an official visit. We’ll start with some questions, if you don’t mind, giving you plenty of time to talk, and then a few of our parents have sent in goodies.”
“Whatever you have planned will be fine with me,” he said, holding her gaze before smiling toward the class.
Leaning closer, she lowered her voice. “If we start with the snacks, the sugar rush will create havoc. This way, they can get on the bus and get home before they start bouncing off the walls.”
His smile widened, threatening to melt her resolve to keep their contact professional. Clearing her throat, she led him to a tall chair in front of the class.
“Thank you, but I prefer to stand if you don’t mind.” He waved toward the chair and added, “Please, Ms. Carrington. I’d be honored if you’d sit.”
“Oh… sure.” She approached the chair and startled as his hand encircled her arm as she hefted up into the seat. “Thanks,” she said, wishing the feel of his hand on her didn’t make her heart race. Now facing the class with him standing next to her, she called on the first student to ask their question.
“Why did you join the military?”
He nodded at the solemn-faced boy. “Well, my father had been in the Army. I got to live in lots of different places when he was able to take me with him. I liked seeing new places and meeting new people. I always thought of him as a hero, and I wanted to be like him.”
“What kind of food did you have to eat?” That question came from a little girl, her cheeks puffed from her wide smile as she stared up at him, her eyes beaming.
“When I was in the United States, my food was just like yours. We had a cafeteria or could cook our own food, or we ate out. But when we were overseas, sometimes in really remote areas, we had to take our food with us or eat what we could find.” He hesitated, casting a glance toward Lucy. “It was sometimes a bit strange… like, I’ve eaten snakes and sometimes bugs.”
The class erupted in groans mixed with laughter. Lucy lifted her fingers to her lips, unable to hide her smile. Casting her gaze up at him, she nodded for him to continue.
“I suppose the most important thing we had to do was to make sure our water was safe to drink. You can go a lot longer without food than you can water. So, we had ways to make it potable… drinkable if it was… um… not clean.”
“What did you do in the Army?”
“I was the Engineer Sergeant of a special team of soldiers. I had to be accepted into the training program and then there were almost two years of training. I made it through, and my job was to be able to build things, like bridges and buildings. I was also trained to be able to demolish things, which means I got to safely… uh… knock things down when necessary.” His brow furrowed as he shot another look at Lucy.
She offered a little nod to indicate she appreciated him making sure his comments were appropriate for ten-year-olds, even if most of them had played video games that included pretend explosions and more things than she wished they’d been exposed to.
One of her quietest girls in the class raised her hand. “What were the best things about being in the Army and what do you miss the most?”
He sighed lightly and nodded, appearing to give great consideration to her question. “I suppose it was the friendships. My teammates. We got up every day and knew what needed to be done and we accomplished it together. We felt pride in what we did. We cooperated at all times. If we didn’t, one of us might get injured or worse. But we really cared about each other. When one of us succeeded, we all succeeded. And I miss that now that I’m out.”
The kids peppered him with a few more questions, but Lucy tuned them out, his last words resonating deep inside. His loneliness. His lack of friends. His lack of purpose. I asked him to talk about himself, but he wasn’t ready. That reality slammed into her and a gasp slipped from her lips.
He jerked his head to the side to look at her, but she plastered another smile on her face, ignoring the unspoken question in his furrowed brow.
Turning back to the class, he continued. “I do have to say that sometimes, even with teammates, it can be lonely, and the letters you sent as well as the goodie packages made my service time this past year a lot better.”
He looked back at her and she smiled again, this time less forced. “Okay, class, that’s enough questions for now. How about we offer Sergeant Roster some food to commemorate his being back home?”
The children lined up at the back table where Mrs. Farthingale had placed several platters of brownies, chips, and cookies. They waited while she invited John to go first and then he delighted her when he sat with the kids at their tables, answering more questions and making the kids feel important.
“He’s something else, isn’t he?” Mrs. Farthingale asked as she and Lucy stood at the table munching.
Nodding slowly as John spoke gently to one of her students who was shy. “Yes, he is.”
“Do I detect a little spark there?”
A rueful snort escaped. “I think he needs more time to discover who he is outside of the Army first.”
“I think that’s a very wise intuition.” Mrs. Farthingale nodded, patting her arm.
Lucy remained quiet but could have easily refuted that it was not her intuition. More like a hard-learned lesson.
The bell soon rang, and the kids headed out the door with the aide, leaving Lucy alone with John. She had no idea what to expect, thinking he might hurry out with them, but instead, he remained behind, uncertainty in his eyes.
Approaching, she smiled. “Thank you so much for coming. They enjoyed hearing your stories.”
“It was my pleasure. It was easier this time. Last week I was nervous about coming here. But I wanted to make sure they knew that I appreciated their bringing a bit of home to me when I was serving.” He hesitated, casting his eyes downward before lifting them to hold her gaze. “I know the class project was your idea, so I need to let you know I’m grateful as well.”
“It was good for all of us, too.” A flash of his photograph on her nightstand flew through her mind, but she simply smiled, her hands clasped in front of her.
“Listen, Lucy, I need to apologize for the way I left your house—”
“No, you don’t. It was fine. I’m sure you were very tired and… um… it was fine.” His lips pressed tightly together, and she hated the look of doubt in his eyes. Sighing, she placed her hand on his arm, wanting nothing but honesty between them. “John, I’m sure that being back home has created a mixed bag of emotions. You get to be with your grandfather again but listening to you today made me realize that you had to say goodbye to many of your friends, and I know that was hard. You’re going through a lot of changes right now, and… Well, if you ever need a home-cooked meal, you’ve got my number.”
Relief flooded his face, and he nodded. “I have a line on a possible job. I met with the owner of the business, and I’ll have the opportunity to meet some of the other people on his staff tomorrow. I don’t know if anything will come from it, but… Well, I just wanted you to know.”
With her hand still on his arm, she squeezed gently, smiling. “That’s wonderful. I hope it’s something that you’d like to do and it turns out in a positive way.” His lips curved slightly, and even a little smile from him made her day brighter.
“So, do you have any home projects this weekend you’re going to work on?”
Chuckling, she said, “While there’s always a project ready to be worked on, I’m going to go to a concert in Canada with my friend Paula this weekend. We’ll leave on Saturday morning and get back very late Saturday evening.”
His brow lowered and he opened his mouth to speak, then snapped it shut. She waited to see what he wanted to say but had a feeling she knew where his thoughts had gone. “I know she didn’t make a good impression on you the other day, but it’s just a music concert in Sherbrooke. Only about a four-hour drive. We’ve gone to these before, and it will be fine. To be honest, I asked her about the biker she was with. While I wasn’t crazy about her answer, she admitted that this trip was for the music only.”
For the next several minutes, he helped her straighten the room, getting it prepared for the next day. She grabbed her purse and her school bag, and he walked her to the teachers’ parking lot. Standing at her car, she looked up, fighting the urge to smooth the worried crinkle in his forehead.
“Lucy, I know I don’t have any right to ask this, but if you need anything, please, give me a call. Anything at all.”
“Thank you. I’ll be fine, but thank you.” She climbed into her car, her eyes continually moving to her rearview mirror as she pulled away. The sight of him growing smaller in the mirror tugged at her heartstrings. Maybe friendship is all we’ll ever have, but I’ll take it. Somehow, I think being friends with John would be better than not having him in my life at all. With another sigh, she turned the corner as she headed home, his image no longer in sight.
