Chains by Kristine Allen

“Let  Me  Heal”—Seether

Four Months Later….

Locked in my head, I sat in a dark corner of the clubhouse. Happy to be invisible, I placed my AirPods in my ears, closed my eyes, and tried to get lost in my head. If I didn’t have something to occupy my mind, I relived every blow, each violation.

The website I was supposed to be working on sat untouched on the computer screen in front of me. Freelance graphic design and website management was the only thing keeping me from getting my car repossessed. Though I rarely drove it, so I didn’t know why I bothered.

The week my father went to Angel with the news I’d been threatened, Angel and his brothers brought me to the clubhouse. I’d been furious. My vacation to warmer climates had been cancelled. The Royal Bastards were afraid I wouldn’t be safe traveling on my own. God forbid someone go with me on my vacation so I could still get away.

If I hadn’t been here… but I couldn’t go there. That led me down a rabbit hole of mental torture that I’d rather forget about.

Since moving into the clubhouse completely, I hadn’t really worked. I’d been fired when I didn’t show up for work the week after my vacation was supposed to have ended.

Not like I could tell them I’d been abducted. My brother’s club was shrouded in secrets and what I believed was some bad shit. I probably could’ve fought my termination, but that would’ve meant admitting something horrible had happened to me—and I wasn’t ready for people to know that. This was bad enough.

The table rocked, and my eyes popped open.

“Hey, Jazz,” Korrie said as she slipped into the booth across from me.

Pulling one headphone from my ear, I pasted a fake smile on my face. “What’s up?”

Over the last several months, I’d gotten pretty good at acting normal. It was better than seeing the pity in everyone’s eyes when they looked at me. If I pretended I was better, no one dug any deeper, and they took my smiles at face value. Sometimes I thought that was easier for them than addressing the uncomfortable subject of what had happened to me.

I was okay with that because it wasn’t something I wanted to talk about either.

“The girls convinced the guys to finally let us get out on the town. We’re all heading out to go dancing in Des Moines. I was hoping you’d come with,” she said with a pleading gaze as she chewed on her bottom lip. The thought of leaving the safety of the clubhouse compound had me breaking out in a cold sweat.

“Brought you this to butter you up,” she said as she slid what appeared to be my favorite drink across the table. A huge grin split her face, and I couldn’t help but laugh. What she didn’t know was that I’d already had one.

With a shake of my head, I reached for the glass and took a sip. “I don’t know,” I hedged before taking another drink. The vodka burned a little, telling me the prospect had made it strong.

“What do you say? I think it would be good for you to get out,” she said. Slowly, she reached across the table and gave my hand a firm squeeze. “I miss hanging out with you.”

Another drink, and the alcohol started to do its job. A warmth that left me slightly numb washed over me. That was what I attributed my bravery to—alcohol.

“Okay,” I reluctantly agreed.

Dammit.

I was drunk off my ass, but it was fucking amazing. Nothing fazed me. No bad thoughts broke through the alcohol-induced cloud I was floating on. Laughter bubbled up as I danced on the crowded dance floor with a pregnant Korrie, Kira, and Loralei.

Sweating from being out there through a good five songs, I raised my thick hair up off my neck as we moved to the beat.

Firm hands encircled my hips, and panic hit for a split second before I wobbled slightly as I looked over my shoulder. The guy gave a me a white-toothed smile. My gaze appraised him, taking in his pressed, button-up short-sleeved shirt, expensive jeans, and Vans. He was the complete opposite of the bikers I was living with and the ones that had—Nope. Not going there.

“Hey. Mind if I join you ladies?” he said in my ear to be heard over the heavy bass pouring from the speakers.

“It’s a free country,” I said with a silly grin, ignoring the girls trying to get my attention. I twisted to face the guy with perfectly messy sandy-blond hair and blue-green eyes. He was exactly the opposite of the one I couldn’t get out of my head. My arms looped around his neck as the song switched to a slower one.

The guy held my waist as we moved slowly around the dance floor. As we swayed to the sensuous tune, we passed Angel and Korrie. I ignored my brother, who watched me like a hawk. Then Voodoo and Kira danced close to us, and they both gave me a questioning gaze. I appreciated everyone wanting to make sure I was okay, but for one night I simply wanted to forget.

The song was drawing to an end when we passed by the area where the remainder of our group was gathered. My gaze locked on the dark eyes that owned me.

Nico.

Anger flashed in his dark depths, and a shudder ran through me. The song ended, and I thanked the guy. To his disappointment, I left him on the dance floor and walked toward the table where my friends and family sat.

Nico’s jaw ticked, but I intentionally ignored him as I reached for my glass. After I emptied it, I shook it. “I’m getting another. Anyone else want one?”

They all declined.

Pushing my way to the bar, I got a refill and shoved the tip in the jar. As I spun to return, the guy from the dance floor was there. “You ran off before I could get your name,” he said.

A sultry smile curled my lips. “Jay,” I said with a laugh, thinking of the night three years ago.

“Jay,” he repeated with a cocky grin. “Nice to meet you.”

Before I could reply, my brother was at my side. “Beat it,” he said. The guy’s eyes widened comically before he gave me a sad smile and left.

Irritated, I rounded on my brother with anger burning bright within me. “That was fucked-up.”

“We’re leaving. Korrie’s had enough.” My brother had a protective arm curled around Korrie.

I quickly looked to my sister-in-law and saw that she was indeed pale. The thing was, I didn’t want to leave yet. For the first time in forever, I wasn’t thinking about the dark shit.

“Is it okay if I stay with the others? I won’t try to lose them or leave with anyone else,” I said, though it was with mentally crossed fingers.

Angel ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair, but Korrie grabbed his other arm. A silent exchange ensued, and he finally looked at me. I could tell he wasn’t happy about it, but he nodded. “Just make sure you stay with the group.”

Brightly, I nodded. “You got it,” I said with a jaunty salute that had him fighting a grin as he shook his head at me.

“Be careful, sis. I love you.”

“Love you too,” I said, then pressed a kiss to his short beard and shooed him off. “Now go take care of my sister-in-law.”

Korrie hugged me. They walked me to the group, where they said their goodbyes again and left.

As I drank from my glass, Loralei, Kira, and I danced at the edge of our table, happily singing along with the song. The guys watched us with tolerant expressions. I didn’t miss the deadly glares they sent toward any guy dumb enough to look at their women in a lascivious way.

From the corner of my eye, I saw another guy bravely approach. He leaned in to be heard.

“Would you like to dance?” This one was dark-haired and reminded me a little too much of the broody asshole at the table.

Defiantly, I set my glass down and wobbled slightly as I turned back to the guy.

But before I could take a step toward the dance floor, a hand gripped my upper arm. The tingle of awareness that jolted through to my toes told me who it was without looking. Butter-soft leather against my skin made my breath catch.

With a frown, I flashed a glare behind me, trying to seem brave and more sober than I really was. Too bad it had nothing on the anger simmering in the dark-brown eyes that held mine.

The words I intended to spit at him turned to ash on my tongue.

“No” was all he said.