Never Fall for Your Back-Up Guy by Kate O’Keeffe

Chapter 19

Dear Dad

Where do I start? You know how I told you about Scarlett? Well, the most terrible day turned into the best day ever. Asher has told me that he’s had a thing for me for a long time. As in a love thing. Love! Ever since we met, in fact. Yes, I know it’s complicated right now because he was married and got really hurt and he doesn’t know that I know that about him, but it’s all semantics for us. He’s amazing, Dad, and I am so in love with him. And you know what? I’m not even scared, because this guy is my best friend.

You’ll think he’s Christmas, just like I do. I know it.

Miss you. Love you.

Your Za-Za xoxo

I am dancing on air.Dancing! Sure, it may be a scientific impossibility unless you’re in zero gravity and there’s not a lot of that in south-west London, but that’s what I’m doing. Dancing, spinning, laughing, singing. All of it on air.

Asher loves me, and I love him. And we kissed. Oh, my did we kiss! We kissed on the floor some more after we confessed our feelings for one another. We kissed as we rode down the escalator to the Tube stop with Stevie in my handbag, we kissed on the footpath when he dropped me back at my flat and said goodnight to me, Stevie wrapping her lead around our legs.

And now it’s a couple of days after and nothing can dent my utter euphoria. Not even Scarlett deserting me for the competition.

“Tell us everything,” Kennedy says as she lays her hands on the table. The four of us are sitting at a café near Lottie’s and my Fulham flat, and I’ve just shared the news of Asher and me with Tabitha and Kennedy. Being my flatmate, Lottie knew something was up with me the moment I walked through the door after saying goodbye to Asher that day—least of all because my lipstick was smudged across my face. Always a tell-tale sign of some serious snogging action.

“Oh, it was incredible,” I reply with a sigh.

“How did it happen? Did he kiss you or did you kiss him?” Kennedy asks.

“And where?” Tabitha adds.

“On the lips, dummy,” Lottie replies with a grin.

Tabitha rolls her eyes. “Of course I didn’t mean where on Zara, I meant where did the kissing take place?”

“Whose question should I answer first?” I reply, feeling completely giddy, which is how I’ve felt constantly for the last sixty-three hours, ever since Asher and I said good night. We’ve been messaging one another ever since. Cute things, sexy things, fun things, deep things. Love things.

As I said, I’m dancing on air.

“Okay. I’ll start at the top and work my way through. This is how it happened. I was really upset about Scarlett and I—"

Tabitha raises her hand in the stop sign. “Don’t mention that name.”

“I still can’t believe she did what she did.” Kennedy shakes her head. “What a total rat.”

“I would use considerably stronger language to describe that person if it were me,” Tabitha sniffs and Lottie nods her agreement as she takes a sip of her coffee.

“Anyway,” I say to bring my friends back on track to Asher and me. Wow, Asher and me. I’m still not used to that. “As I was saying, I was upset about you-know-who, and Asher was comforting me and telling me wonderful things and, well, it just happened. I don’t know who kissed who. I guess we both kissed each other. Oh, and it happened on the floor at his office. That was the last question.”

“On the floor?” Tabitha questions.

“Yup.”

“And?” Lottie leads. “Tell them the rest, Zee.”

Happiness bubbles up inside as all three of my friends turn their attention on me, waiting for my reply. “Well,” I begin as a smile stretches across my face, “he told me he loves me.”

“He what?” Tabitha screeches as Kennedy claps her hands together and beams at me.

“Oh, Zee. That’s amazing. Do you love him back?” Kennedy asks.

Before I have the chance to reply, Lottie jumps in with, “She does. She told him. They’re in love!”

“Seriously?” Kennedy asks, her eyes wide.

“Seriously,” I confirm as my belly flip-flops at the thought of loving Asher.

Lottie places her hand over her chest. “Asher has your heart, Zee. Oh, it’s so romantic. A true friendship that blossomed into a love story. Perfection.”

A huge grin claims my face, and I feel my cheeks warm because it’s true. Asher has my heart. I play with the handle on my coffee cup, hoping my friends won’t notice my blush.

They do.

“Look, our girl’s blushing,” Kennedy teases, which only serves to intensify the heat in my cheeks. “Oh, I’m so happy for you. And jealous. Definitely jealous.”

“Yup. Jealous all right,” Lottie agrees with a grim nod.

“You know what this means, girls? Zara’s coming to my thirtieth birthday party next month with a date, and the three of us will be the sad, dateless ones,” Kennedy says. “Again.”

“Yeah, thanks a lot,” Tabitha grumps.

“It won’t be like that,” I insist. “He’s still just Asher and I’m still just me.”

Tabitha fixes me with her gaze. “Babe, he won’t be snogging any of us in the corner when he thinks no one is looking.”

I giggle and it ends in a snort. “That would kind of be a deal breaker for me.”

“Okay, girls. Let’s make a rule,” Lottie begins. “You can date him, Zee but you can’t flaunt it in front of the single friends.”

The other two agree.

“Fair call.”

“Yup. Agreed.”

My three friends turn to me.

“I promise I won’t,” I say with a grin, “but I cannot tell you how happy I am that I get to be the one who has to promise that.”

“You know, I’m not at all surprised by this,” Tabitha announces. “I’ve seen the way he’s looked at you over the years.”

“You have?” I ask.

“Oh, yeah. I have, too. You’ve always been the Ross and Rachel of our friend group,” Kennedy says. “Will they? Won’t they? Were they on a break? Okay, the last one’s not relevant right now.”

“I think I like being the Ross and Rachel. They end up together.”

“They have a baby together,” Lottie says, shooting me a meaningful look.

I lift a finger in warning. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. One step at a time, and I’m starting with dating the guy.”

Lottie waggles her eyebrows at me. “One sexy, kissy step at a time, you mean.”

My tummy does a flip. One sexy, kissy step at a time indeed.

“What about Asher’s ex-wife?” Tabitha asks, and just like that, a sharp pin gets sunk into my happiness balloon. “Did you talk about her with him?”

“Oh, it didn’t come up,” I say as casually as I can.

Lottie tsks.

“You need to talk to him about it, Zee,” Kennedy warns.

Tabitha just looks at me with her lips pressed together as she stirs her coffee with a spoon.

“What? I’ll tell him I know about her, and we can have a frank and open conversation about it. It won’t be a big deal.”

My friends share a look before Lottie leans back in her seat and says, “Okay, if you’re sure.”

“I am,” I reply with a whole lot more confidence than I feel.

Truth be told, I don’t know how to bring it up. How do you say to your best friend, who has only just admitted he loves you, that you know about the past he’s kept hidden for over two years?

Not easily, that’s for sure.

“What if he’s freaked out that you already know? It could be damaging,” Tabitha warns, going all doom and gloom on me.

“I know, okay?” I snap, anxiety sparking in all directions in my head. “I’ll deal with it. Can we please move on to something else?”

“I want to know what we’re going to do about Scarlett. We need to all rally around Zara and help her out now that the turncoat has deserted our friend,” Lottie says, and I shoot her a grateful look.

“I can push harder for something at the magazine,” Kennedy offers.

Tabitha jumps in with, “And I can tell my relations who’ve got more money than sense that they need to redecorate their castles.”

“Your relatives have castles?” Kennedy guffaws.

“Only some of them,” Tabitha replies.

Kennedy blinks in disbelief. “Zara’s family are aristocrats and your family have castles. Am I the only normal person here?”

Lottie raises her hand. “Me. I’m totally normal. Well, other than having a crazy family and a demanding, perpetually disappointed mother, that is.”

“No aristocratic titles? No castles?” Kennedy asks and Lottie shakes her head.

“Nope. Norma Normal right here.” Lottie points her thumbs at her chest.

“You girls are all so sweet,” I coo. “What with your offers and Asher’s, I am really feeling the love.”

Tabitha asks, “What did Asher offer you?”

“He offered to invest in my shop, can you believe it?” I say.

“Oh, it really is love,” Lottie pronounces, and the other two nod their agreement.

I beam at them, my heart completely full. It is love, and right now, I’m the luckiest girl in south-west London.