The Viper and his Majesty by Tiana Laveen
CHAPTER TWENTY
Take the Money and Run
This shit iselementary…
Why should anyone be applauded for doing what they’re supposed to do, when they’re supposed to do it? You don’t applaud a bird for flying, a frog for jumping, or a lion for roaring. So why thank a man for being a fucking man?
Bitch ass behavior is like the new standard. If you can rise higher than fuck-boy status, somehow you deserve a fuckin’ trophy. We’re not handing out participation, attendance, and ‘good try’ awards. EARN THAT SHIT, OR QUIT BITCHING.
So many thoughts ran through his mind. He had a billion plans, but it felt like he only had an hour to implement them all.
A glint of metal crossed his vision.
The clicking sounds of loading a gun always turned him on.
Viper spent the better half of the morning cleaning his guns and then placing them away in the hidden compartment of his closet. Then, his monthly routine was interrupted by a visitor—the man who had brought him into the world. His father.
Dad smelled of oil and transmission fluid. His fingernails were caked with grime and his hands marred with the wear and tear of hard labor. He’d been working at his shop all morning, so Viper was surprised to see the man who rarely came to visit him in Boca Raton.
“Do you want something else to drink?” Viper offered while walking past him to the kitchen.
“No, I’m fine.”
Viper grabbed himself a bottle of water and joined the older man in the living room. The sound of barking erupted, breaking the tranquility of the television playing old sports at a low volume. Dad’s dark eyes hooded, and a sheen of sweat covered his brow. He stared listlessly at the television. Viper sat across from him.
“You’ve done well for yourself. I see you added some new art. Nice new furniture, too.”
“Mmmm hmmm.” Viper lit a cigar, then handed it to his father to smoke. “What’s going on?”
“Your mother has been causing me problems.”
“What kind of problems? I wasn’t aware you two were even speaking.”
“We don’t. Well, barely. I borrowed some money from her about five years ago. She offered it. I hadn’t asked. Needed it to pay off an old debt.”
“I gave you money when I got out. You said you needed that for debts, too. What’s goin’ on with the money?”
“The shop was in the red the first few years. I did a lot of favors for people, too, and it cost me too much. Shouldn’t have been so nice.” Dad shrugged. “Bad business move.”
“You know better than to take anything from Mamá. She’d always want something in return.”
“Well, she got something. So did I. We messed around.”
Viper scratched the side of his face, knowing his mother had been married to his stepfather for over twenty years, and Dad was also re-married.
“And you thought that was all right?” Viper drank some of his water, then set the bottle down.
“At the time, yes. I guess so… I don’t know, Dominic. It was an arrangement, okay? You wouldn’t understand.”
“I’m not a little kid. I know how this works. I understand. It’s you who didn’t understand.” They were quiet for a bit.
“You don’t understand our relationship is what I’m saying. We still have a connection. Your mother will always be mine. Right now though, she’s going crazy about this money. I need your help. She’s angry with me.”
“What do you want me to do about her? I have nothing to do with this. If you owe her money, just pay her back.” Viper reached for a toothpick tin he kept on the crystal coffee table. He removed one and rolled it back and forth between his lips.
“She only wants it because her husband isn’t working.”
“Doesn’t matter why. Just pay it back.”
Swirls of smoke eddied from Dad’s cigar.
“She stopped sleeping with me.”
“So what? You say that like you two are a happily married couple but she’s keeping the cookies from you. You’re not entitled to another man’s wife.”
“That’s not it. We had a mutual agreement.”
“Y’all are divorced, man. I feel like this is a movie. This is wild. Nuts. The cherry on top is that you’re both married to other people, but you act like that doesn’t matter right now. If Ricky finds out about this, Dad, there’s going to be a problem. My stepfather doesn’t play that shit, and then I’ll have to step in before someone gets shot.”
Dad shrugged. “First of all, she’s not happy with him. Hasn’t been for years. Second, Ricky’s cock is broken, she says. He can’t get it up because of all the fucking medicine he’s on, and the diabetes. He knows she fucks around. They just don’t discuss it, and he used to mess around on her, too.” None of this surprised Viper, but he was dismayed all the same. “Like I said, your mother is mine. Always will be, regardless of whether she has my last name or not anymore.”
“I’m not trying to hear all of this.” Disgusted, Viper waved his father off. “You two can do whatever you want to do, but then when everything explodes, you want me to come and bail you out. I just need to know what exactly you want me to do about this Maury Povich, Jerry Springer type shit you two have going on? There’s no way you would’ve admitted this to me unless you just had to. So, what gives?”
“I don’t have the money to give to your mother. Can you give it to me, please? I can pay you back over time.”
Viper ran a hand along his jaw.
“I just shelled out a bunch of money for my business and some other shit I needed to take care of, so how much are we talkin’ here, Dad?”
“Four thousand.”
“Is that including interest?”
“Yes.”
Viper nodded. “All right. I’ll take care of it.”
“Thank you, Dominic. Thank you so much.”
The silence took over for a while.
“You said you just spent a bunch of money. On what? What did you buy? Another car? A boat? I’d like to go fishing with you soon, like we used to.”
A lump formed in Viper’s throat. He hadn’t gone fishing with his father since he was a child, and in that time it was him and Diego. Those were some of the best memories he’d ever had. He still savored them, and could almost smell the sea water and feel the fresh air and breeze all over again.
“Yeah, maybe someday. I bought that SUV not too long ago that I told you about. I also put down a down payment for a place to train the dogs that’s away from my house, and I’m going to put in a pool here at home. Renovations, things like that.” He could see the disappointment in his father’s eyes. Reconstructions, a pool, and a local business spot meant he was planning on staying in Boca Raton. No one understood completely why he’d moved away. They all hoped it was a phase, or that he’d change his mind and move back to Little Havana. But he’d meant what he’d said. He’d had to go. “Nah, I didn’t buy a boat, Dad. I bought a ring.”
His father shot him a curious look. “I wondered when you were going to settle down.”
“Remember a long time ago when I had that car towed to you? The Dodge Charger?”
“Oh, yeah. I remember. It belonged to her?”
“Yes. We weren’t together then though, but I was trying to get with her. Getting her car fixed for her was one of my ways of trying to get close so she’d let me take her out.”
His father smiled approvingly.
“I’d like to talk you out of ever getting married, Dominic. Because ya know, on one hand, it hasn’t worked out for me, but on the other hand, every man needs a woman. We weren’t meant to be alone. It’s tricky.”
“I don’t think I’ll have a problem.” He stretched.
“Hard for me to imagine you, my son, Viper, only having one lady.” Dad pointed at him, his eyes dancing. “So, you really want to settle down, huh? Women love you, and not just any women but beautiful women! You could have your pick. Jesus, do you turn heads!”
“I turn heads sometimes for the wrong reasons.”
“Youth, I tell ya… You and Diego got so much attention. Pussy pirates. I was so proud of my boys.”
Viper grinned at the crazy man, then they both laughed.
“Dad, I thought about all of that, but I’ll take quality over quantity any day. I’ve run through enough pussy in my life that I could be a track star.” Dad burst out laughing. “So, I know what’s out there. I’ve gotten it out of my system. I don’t mind only having one woman.” He shrugged. “Some guys say they don’t want the same pussy every day. Then, to me, they’re not making love right. It’s never the same. It changes each time because you’re growing together, you know. You’re a different man, and she’s a different woman every single day.” He paused, then continued, “Loyalty, chemistry, trust and connection are never overrated. To meet someone solid nowadays is so damn rare, Dad.”
“It is, son… It is.”
“She checks all of my boxes. I’m going to cash in while I have the chance.” Viper fell back against the couch and closed his eyes as he massaged his forehead. “Her name is Majesty, by the way. She’s amazing.”
“Yeah?” He could hear the smile in his father’s tone.
“Yeah. Fucking gorgeous, too. She’s got a smart mouth though, slick tongue. She can say some malicious shit, and so can I, so we’ve bumped heads a few times. But I can handle her.” He chuckled. “Clever. Funny.”
“Does she have any kids?”
“Yeah. One child, a son. I love him, too. Good kid.”
“Is the boy’s father in the picture?”
He opened his eyes. “He died a long time ago. Murdered in Miami.”
Dad placed his cigar in the ashtray.
“Is she Nation? Latin Queen?”
“Nah. Not in the organization…” He resumed twirling the toothpick in his mouth. “Black chick, and not Afro-Latina. She’s African American.” Dad nodded in understanding. “She’s baaaad, Dad. Level ten. Wifey material and playa approved.”
“You sound blown away by her. I’m glad you’re happy. I’d like to meet her soon.”
“You will. The Queens like her, except my ex, Shauna, of course. Marie absolutely loves her. Mamá talked to her on the phone. She liked her. You know Mamá is hard to please. So, anyway, do you want me to give you the money so you can front like you’re doing it, or me?”
“I still want sex from your mother, so let me do it.”
“Didn’t we just go over why this is a bad idea? Something is wrong with you, man.” Dad threw up his hands and tossed out a lazy laugh, then shrugged. “If that’s your motivation, then I’m not giving you the money.”
“Oh, come on, Viper. I’m just trying to be honest with you! Would you rather I bullshit you, huh?”
“Both of you are dead wrong for this shit. I actually suspected something a long time ago because Mamá was bringing you up a lot in conversation with me and years before that, your name never crossed her lips.”
“Well, it didn’t happen often, and she hasn’t slept with me in three years. Closer to four. She felt guilty.”
“Well, I’m glad one of you did. You two were toxic as fuck.” Viper huffed. “I love you, you know that, but you’re crazy. I’m not giving you anything unless you promise me that you’ll leave her alone.”
“You can’t tell me to leave your mother alone! Who do you think you—”
“Don’t do this shit, try to turn it around, make it some power struggle between father and son. I’m not the moral police, but you’re wrong.” Dad sucked his teeth, crossed his arms, and looked away. “You’re playing with fire, toying with each other’s emotions. The only reason why Mamá hasn’t told your wife is because then Ricky would know, too. If he dies, what do you think she’s going to do? Sing like a bird because she wants to hurt you. You both like hurting each other, and it’s messed up. Diego and I grew up surrounded by a bunch of bullshit because you two couldn’t get your stuff together. Now you have the boldness to sit here, on my couch, in my home, and try to tell me to stay out of this shit? Ha! Man, father or not, straight up, this is some bullshit and you know it. Don’t tell me not to tell you to leave her alone. I have the right.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“You made it my business! You think I wanna hear about this backwards shit? I don’t! You dragged me into this because you’re sitting there, and I’m sitting here. I’m not the one askin’ for money so I can screw my ex-wife while I’m still married and living with another woman, now am I?”
“All right, all right!” Dad raised his hand in surrender. “I won’t do it. I won’t ask her for sex. I’m being selfish, I guess. I dunno, but she was mine first, you know? I feel like she will always be mine… But yes, I know you’re right. I love Veronica, too. Just differently, Dominic. It’s possible to love two women, you know.” He grimaced at his father. The man talked more bullshit sometimes than anyone else he knew. “Your mother and I had something incredible, but we wanted to kill each other every other day. I never stopped loving her. It was difficult. It is still difficult, after all these years. Then, when we…” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he got emotional. “When we lost our son, your brother, Diego, we got close again. I don’t understand how I can hate and love someone so much, all at the same time.”
Viper excused himself and grabbed his phone from the kitchen.
“I was going to write you a check, but they all say, ‘Dr. Dogology.’ I want to keep all business expenses separate.”
“Ayyye! That’s the name of your dog training services now?”
“Yeah. Majesty helped me come up with it. I said I wanted something catchier than ‘Dog Training Academy.’”
“That’s great, Viper. Funny, too!”
“I’m going to send the money to your CashApp. Then, you send it to Mamá, okay?”
“Yes, yes.”
Viper typed the information in, then hit ‘Send.’
They talked for a while longer, then he walked the man to the door.
“Like I said, I will pay you back.”
“You’re my father. I don’t want your money. Mamá needs her cash, so just make sure she gets it.”
His father nodded, then leaned in and kissed his cheek.
“Dad, I do have a question for you though, since you’re here.”
“Yes, what is it?”
“Remember that crazy friend of yours who lives in Orlando? The one you met in jail that one time?”
“Maceo… Yes. We still talk from time to time. In fact, I saw him last year. What about him?”
“I had a little problem out that way not too long ago. And based on what you told me about him, I think he might be the man for the job.”
“What kind of problem?”
“Harassment. It traumatized my girlfriend’s son. I don’t like that.”
“I don’t like that, either.”
“I tried to play it their way, deal with it in court, but of course, my side wasn’t considered, and I was forced to pay the ticket. The money didn’t mean shit to me. It’s the principle. You don’t get to make a little boy and the woman I love cry, and not pay for that. Walk away like you didn’t do shit.” His eyes narrowed. The darkness swelled within him, and his forked tongue longed to take a swipe at a motherfucker. The fangs were coming out, and he wanted nothing more than to taste fresh blood. “You think Maceo could help me out?” He smirked.
“Viper, what are you cooking up?” His father gave him a suspicious look, mixed with a hint of mischief.
“I’m cooking some red and blue soup, papà, but I have to let it sit and cool. Revenge, as they say, is a dish best served cold. But don’t worry, I’ll add some heat. I wouldn’t be a true Latin King if I didn’t bring some of that caliente fire…”