Vengeful Soul by Emma Creed
I need to get out, I need to drink, and now I need to fuck the girl out of my head.
Gracie does it every time I’m around her. She breaks through all my determination, and somehow sucks softness out of my cold, black soul. That rich little bitch makes me want things that are way too far out of my reach.
The club is in full swing when we get back from seeing Lector. Jessie is talking with Prez and not wanting to interrupt them, I head over to Troj who’s drinking alone.
“Ya good?” I slap him on the back taking up the stool beside him. When I lift my finger up to Mel, she sets straight to work pouring me out a good measure of Jack.
“Jess said you and the girl had a successful trip.” Troj hands over the blunt he’s smoking.
“Yeah, Mads is working on what we got right now.” I take it from his hands and suck back a long toke.
“Still can’t believe Clunk is involved with that shit. You really think we can trust Lector to keep his word when all this is done?”
“Yeah, I do. He was cooperative today and I think right now, the Bastards need the least enemies possible. Clunk got a personal vendetta for Jimmer, he’s hidden behind his club for too long.” I take another long drag, letting the smoke burn my lungs before I slowly release it and hand it back over to Troj.
“And what about the bitch?” Troj asks.
“What about her?” Fuck, that came out way too fast and way too defensively.
“When it’s safe for her to go home, is that it?” He rests his elbows on the bar and turns his head to me.
“Prez made her mama a promise. As long as there ain’t no threat left. Sure, that’ll be it,” I assure him. Despite telling myself all day that’s what I want, I feel myself tense at the thought of letting her out there by herself. Her skinny cunt boyfriend couldn’t protect her from a gust of wind, let alone an actual threat.
“And you're good with that?” Troj looks at me questioningly.
“I’m good with that,” I nod, walking away and taking my drink with me. I came down here to forget about the girl, not to talk about her.
I settle on one of the leather sofas at the back of the room tipping my head at Squealer, who’s getting his dick polished by Paige. She’s the freshest thing we got around here, and I hear her mouth makes up for the fact that she keeps her pussy off limits. By the look on Squealer’s face, she’s living up to her reputation.
Looking around the room, I see that most of the single brothers already have a bitch hovering over them.
“Tough day?” a voice whispers inside my ear, and long fingernails scratch through my stubble.
“I noticed you looking on edge, so I got Haven to take over the bar. Thought I could come on over and cheer you up.” Mel works fast, lifting her leg over mine so she’s straddling me. Then taking my head in her hands, she presses her lips on top of mine. If I came down here thinking that sinking into club pussy was gonna make me feel better, Mel grinding her ass into me is only proving that theory wrong.
My mind is too full of Gracie, appreciating how different she is from Mel and all the other sluts down here.
“Stop,” I give Mel a stern warning, but she don’t seem to get the hint, or if she does, she chooses to ignore it.
“Let me make you feel better, Brax,” she whispers against my lips.
Grabbing both her hands, I join them behind her back in one of mine, then I shift her weight off my body so her chest falls against the leather.
“There ain’t nothing you can do for me, darlin’,” I tell her, standing up and leaving her red-faced.
I’m not concentrating on where I’m going as I storm toward the door for some fresh air, and I manage to walk smack bang into Nyx.
“Whoa, who got you all rattled?” he asks, lifting up his hands in defense.
“Out of my way, Nyx,” I warn, about ready to barge my way through him if he doesn’t move.
“Where ya goin'?”
“I don’t know, just out of here.” I make another attempt to get around him but the fucker sidesteps me.
“You wanna talk about it?” he asks, this brother shit’s as hard for him as it is me. He’s making the effort. But right now, I can’t fuckin’ deal. I ain’t ready to admit to myself what’s fucking up my head right now, let alone fess it up to anyone else.
“I’m fine,” I say, trying my best to sound fucking fine.
“Ella’s worried about the girl. We heard you yesterday morning out on the porch,” he tells me, looking a little awkward.
“Well, you can tell Ella from me, she got nothin’ to worry about.”
“I’m worried about you,” Nyx shrugs, looking down, and scratching the back of his head.
“You’re worried about me,” I laugh. “Nyx, save your fucks for someone who needs ‘em.”
“I’m just sayin’ I’ve been there, so I know what it’s like. With Ella I—”
“This ain’t your high school love story bull shit.” I laugh at him. “The sooner that bitch goes back to her life, the sooner I get to go back to mine.”
“You really think that’s gonna happen?” Nyx is the one laughing at me now, shaking his head like I should know better.
“It only gets worse, bro, you think you crave her now? It ain’t nothing compared to what it’ll be like when she’s out of your reach. That shit’ll burn you from the inside out. And there’ll be nothing you’ll do that will fill that emptiness. Not until you get her. Trust me, I know. Those eight months I spent without Ell were torture.” I feel a stab of guilt, knowing I was partly responsible for that. I was trying to protect him, ended up making a huge fuck up of the situation.
Seems to be a running theme for me.
“That wasn’t a dig,” Nyx adds. “I just want you to know that if you wanna try the whole talking it out thing, that I’m here.” I smack him on the shoulder and nod, hoping it’s enough to convince him that I’ll think about it. It seems to do the trick, ‘cause he steps out of my way and heads over to the bar.
“Brax,” Prez calls me over to where him and Jessie are sitting. “Rack up three, baby,” he tells Haven behind the bar, and she quickly sets to work placing three shot glasses in front of us.
“Jessie tells me you made good progress today,” he says, handing me one of the glasses, I down it in one and slam it back on the bar. “We’re close, so fucking close to nailing Clunk. With him out the picture, and if this whole truce thing pans out, we can set our focus on bigger things.”
“Yeah,” I nod back.
“Look, Brax, we don’t know how long Skid’s gonna be AWOL for. The club’s gonna need a strong road captain if we’re gonna be making bigger movements. That something you would consider if you were sticking around?” It takes a while for me to take in the fact that he’s talking to me. Being a road captain is a big responsibility. They play a big part in making sure all club runs are well thought out and run smoothly.
“You askin’ me to be road captain?” I check with a sarcastic laugh.
“I need someone with a level head, who can make decisions for themselves if they need to, that shit you and Jessie pulled off together showed me you’re capable of that.”
“And you think the other brothers will be okay with me taking that on, I ain't even patched into the Charter yet?”
“Look at my options, Brax, I got Squealer, who can barely coordinate a wet dick into a pussy. Screwy, I don’t know if the guy’s level headed or bent out of shape. Grimm…” All three of us look over to the corner of the room, where Grimm is sitting, twiddling a Rubik’s cube in his hands, while his eyes focus on the club whore dancing in front of him. Enough said on that one.
“Nyx and Tac are both too busy at the studio, Troj and Jessie got their roles.”
“What about Thorne?” I remind him, Thorne’s one of the more mature members of the club. He’s quiet, and keeps himself to himself, but I know he’s got a level head on his shoulders.
“Thorne has enough shit to deal with, he does the books for all the legit businesses,” Jessie points out.
“So what you’re telling me is that you’re all out of options?” I smirk at them both, lighting up a smoke.
“What I’m telling ya, is that you’d make a good road captain. That you fit in well, and that now you got a reason to stick around you should put some roots down.” His eyes flick over to Nyx.
“I’ve made no secret of the fact I wanna stick around, Jimmer.”
“I just wouldn’t want recent events to put you off staying.” Prez passes me another drink.
“Take the vote, Prez, I’m here for good. If the Charter wants me, I’ll be your road captain,” I tap my glass against his, before swallowing its contents.
“We should celebrate, you wanna get into Haven?” Prez offers, gesturing his head over the bar to where his favorite bitch is working.
“Nah, I’m good. It’s been a long day. I’m gonna get some sleep.”
“I hear our visitor is residing with you?” Prez chuckles.
“Yeah, she’s staying with me,” I confirm, fully aware of how possessive I sound.
“You wanna be careful you don’t catch what Jessie and Nyx got,” he grins as he tips his head back and takes his shot.
“Ain’t no chance of that,” I guarantee them both.
“The sooner we get that girl back to her life the better then.”
I don’t answer Prez, just make my way outside and get on my bike. I ride up to the cabins, marching through my front door and expecting to find her waiting for me. And the stab of disappointment is a little too brutal when she isn’t.
My own patheticness only adds to my rage.
I should have taken Prez up on his offer and fucked Haven. Hell, even Mel would have been a better alternative to the way I’m feeling now. I need space in my head so I can start thinking straight again. So, why the fuck am I here, and not down there? Why have I come home to her, and why am I letting myself into my room knowing that she’ll be sleeping in my bed?