The Perfect Husband by Lynn Dare
Harley
The first thing I noticed was the heartbeat in my head. Like a steady drum pounding away, throbbing with every hit. I groaned and rolled to my back. That was when I noticed the person in bed with me.
I blinked open my eyes and squinted at the room around me. The curtains blocked out most of the light, but there was enough for it to feel like someone was slicing through my eyes with a knife. That was a terrible visual. My stomach rolled at the thought.
This wasn’t my apartment. Where was I?
When my gaze landed on the person next to me, I tried to remember what happened last night.
I’d been lonely, but what else was new? I thought moving to Cape Kismet would solve my problems since I’d be near my brother and my best friend. It had only been a couple weeks since I made it my permanent residence. While I loved Hadden and Kennedy, I still had no one to share my life with.
That loneliness got the best of me last night. I took an Uber to a neighboring town, to the seediest bar I’d ever seen, and thought it was a good place to drink my sorrows away. No one knew me. I wasn’t Hadden’s brother there, just another guy who looked down on his luck and needed to numb himself.
The woman beside me snored loudly then sucked in a breath like she’d startled herself with the noise. Her long, brown hair was spread out on the pillow. There was a puddle of drool near her mouth. When she rolled over and the sheet pulled at her waist, I watched as it slipped below her chest, revealing a very naked, very beautiful woman. Well, minus the rat’s nest hair and the drool. I was almost certain she didn’t normally sport that look.
I lifted the sheet covering me to confirm I, too, was in the buff. Fingers crossed I remembered to suit up before sleeping with her.
As quietly as possible, I slid out of bed. Or that was the goal. My foot tangled in the sheet when I tried to move out from under it, and I ended up falling in what felt like slow motion until my cheek hit the floor with a hard thud, causing the steady staccato in my head to amp up and become a full-on symphony of the prior night’s drinking mistake.
I kicked the sheet loose from my foot and lifted to my hands and knees, taking a few breaths as my stomach decided whether or not it was going to expel whatever was left in it right then and there. Once that feeling settled, I glanced at the bed to see the woman had turned her back to me. With the sheet no longer covering her, thanks to my foot, I got a glorious view of her ass.
My body tried to rally at the perfect sight, but my pounding head put a stop to it.
She snored again, oblivious to my face plant.
I searched the floor for my clothes and found nothing but a used condom. Guess that answered that.
It wasn’t until I stood naked in her living room that I located my jeans and shirt. Luckily, I hadn’t lost my wallet and phone in my travels. They were both in my jeans. I ordered an Uber and waited outside the apartment building, with my hair a mess and my clothing askew. Instead of the walk of shame to my apartment, it was the walk of shame to the older guy who pulled up in a Chevy Cobalt. I had to practically fold myself in half to get into the back of the car. I was not a short man.
On the way home, I asked him to drop me off in town, instead of in the alley by my apartment. I didn’t need Hadden or Kennedy coming out and asking what I was doing in a strange car when mine was sitting back there.
After being dropped off, I made my way to the place that sold donuts and coffee down the street from the bookstore I now lived above. I needed sugar and caffeine if I was going to get through the day.
A little bell over the door chimed as I entered, making me flinch at the pain it caused my head. Did every store in this town have one of those bells? Seemed no matter where I went, I heard them ringing. Must have been part of the small-town charm.
With my hangover breakfast in hand, I left the store and was just letting the door close behind me when someone ran into me. Or maybe I ran into them. I didn’t know which it was.
“I’m so sorry,” I said and quickly looked down to make sure my coffee hadn’t spilled all over the other person. Not a drop, thankfully.
“Don’t worry about it,” came a feminine voice. I looked up and found a woman in her mid-fifties or so, with dark blonde hair that reached her shoulders. Her smile was kind. But then, her eyes widened. “Harley Hardwick, how are you today?” She smiled. It was a big smile full of so much warmth that left me confused as hell.
“Uh, good. Do I know you?” It was a rude thing to ask, but my filter was pretty much nonexistent in my current state.
She chuckled. “I married you yesterday, of course. Though, I imagine you were too focused on getting back and celebrating with your wife.” She elbowed me in jest.
Ummm… What?
“I think you have me confused for someone else. I didn’t get married.” Married. Like I’d forget doing that.
“You’re cute. I could never forget a face like yours. You remind me so much of your brother. I’m sure he isn’t going to be too happy about having missed your wedding. Cruz, too, for that matter. It’s not every day his sister gets married.” She smiled again. What was going on right now? Was I still drunk?
“You’re saying, with certainty I might add, that I got married yesterday?”
“Yes, sir. I’m the town clerk, and I issue the marriage licenses for Cape Kismet. We don’t usually process things so quickly—or at night—but Hank was in a good mood, and I enjoy seeing people in love. After I issued the license, he performed the ceremony. I sat in, of course. I couldn’t miss seeing Hadden’s brother get married. I even took a few pictures. Figured you’d like to have them since no one else was there to take them for you.”
This couldn’t be happening. I turned and found a bench behind me to sit down on. How could I have gotten married and not remembered it? And to whom? She said something about Cruz’s sister. I knew who Cruz was. He was engaged to Ellie, whose apartment I now lived in.
The woman sat down next to me. I looked over at her with what I was sure was confusion.
“I’m Ginger, by the way,” she said. “I’ve lived here my whole life. Getting to issue marriage licenses is one of my favorite parts of the job. I can’t wait to do it for Cruz and Ellie.”
“You said I married one of his sisters?”
She chuckled again. “Yes, silly. Cecilia. I always wondered when she’d settle down. She’s so pretty and full of life. Who better than a Hardwick boy to spend the rest of her days with?” She patted me on the cheek.
I swallowed as my mind spun a thousand miles an hour. This was so not helping my hangover. More caffeine. I needed to drink. After taking a few sips, I asked, “Pictures? Can I see them?”
“Sure thing.” She reached into her purse and pulled out her phone.
Next thing I knew, I was staring at photos of me and the woman whose bed I woke up in this morning. We were smiling at each other and didn’t look drunk at all.
Now that I got a better look at her, I recognized her from the bar last night. I had already been on my way to buzzed when she came in, but I was drawn to her like a magnet. How did we get from having a drink together to the altar?
“Can you send those to me please?” I pulled out my phone. Fortunately, we had the same brand and she was able to share them without even having to text them to me. “Thank you. Also, could you please keep this quiet until we’ve had the chance to tell our families?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of spoiling the surprise. Hank either. We know how to keep a secret.” She made the motion of zipping her lips and throwing away the key.
“Thank you. We appreciate it.”
“No problem. Your marriage license will be sent to you in the mail once everything is processed and filed.”
I nodded. “Thanks again.” I stood on shaky legs and hoped they held me up. “I should get going. Gotta see my wife.” I swallowed again, trying to combat the coffee I just drank from coming up.
“Have a great day.” She smiled as I walked away.
I went as fast as my feet could take me, which wasn’t quick given my hangover. I rounded a corner and leaned heavily against a building. What was I going to do? I got married and didn’t remember it. Then, it dawned on me. I wasn’t in this alone. I had someone who was in as deep as I was.
Quickly, I pulled out my phone and noted the address I’d had the Uber pick me up at then hightailed it home, where I jumped in the shower and let the hot water wash the stench of alcohol and sex off me.
When I emerged in a cloud of steam, I felt much more like myself. My stomach had settled and, thanks to the acetaminophen I took when I got home, my headache had calmed considerably. I got dressed in a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt then took a few minutes to inhale the donuts I bought. They helped absorb what was left in my stomach.
My nerves were ever present as I left my apartment. As I bolted down the stairs, I heard someone call my name. No, no, no. Not now.
Glancing over, I saw my brother leaving his apartment. Then, I remembered it was Saturday and he was off from work. Just my luck.
“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” he asked as we both descended the stairs. I climbed down the rest like a sane person, not like someone who was trying to hide the world’s biggest secret.
“You know… out.”
Hadden smiled as he walked over to me. “Got a day date?”
I scrunched up my nose. “Do people still call them that?”
“I think.” He shrugged.
“Anyway, yeah, I’m late for a date.” One Cecilia didn’t even know she had. I was going to flip her world upside down when I got there, and not in the good way I did last night. At least, I think I did. I hoped I was good in bed. Though, the amount of alcohol could have diminished my moves.
Hadden studied me for a moment. I began to panic. Could he tell I screwed up? Did he somehow know I got married? He was on the police force after all. I bet he knew all kinds of things. Ginger said she and Hank wouldn’t utter a word, but did other people who worked there know? Did they tell anyone?
I seriously needed to get a grip.
No, if Had knew, he’d be yelling at me. He wouldn’t be this calm if he found out I secretly got married and didn’t invite him, or tell him I was even dating someone seriously. Man, Cecilia and I really jumped from zero to a hundred in this relationship.
“You feel okay?” he asked.
“What?” I snapped my gaze to his. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You seem a little pale.”
“Had a little too much to drink last night while I was out, that’s all.”
“You didn’t drive home, did you?”
I rolled my eyes. Typical big brother speech. “No, Dad, I didn’t drive home. I called a car to take me out and called another to bring me home.” But how did we get from the bar to Cecilia’s place? Did she drive? I hoped neither one of us got behind the wheel. I never did when drunk, but I’d also never gotten married when I was drunk before. No, I wouldn’t have driven or let anyone else do so.
Had clapped me on the shoulder. “I only ask because I love you.”
That caused me to smile. “Yeah, I get it. Love you, too.”
He straightened. “Okay, enough bonding. I need to go pick up lunch for Ken and me. I’ll see you later.”
Lunch? What time was it? I pulled my phone out and saw it was just after noon. I thought it was still morning. Whatever. The time of day was the least of my concerns.
“Have fun!” I called out as he got into his car.
I made my way to mine and went in the opposite direction. I didn’t need Had wondering where I was going or whom I was going to meet.
On the drive to Cecilia’s apartment, I still couldn’t believe I got married and didn’t remember it. I had the pictures to prove it. There was nothing Photoshopped about them. Not that Ginger, the town clerk, was going to make up such a ruse.
When Hadden and Cruz found out what we did, there was going to be hell to pay. That, I had no doubt about. How did you tell someone you got drunk and married on accident?
I pulled into the apartment complex and looked around at the doors. I wasn’t here long. But there was something I remembered when I closed the door as I snuck out earlier. Then, I saw it. The door with the familiar knocker on it in the shape of a wine bottle. It was like a beacon of our drunken mistake.
Every step I took toward the apartment was closer to the inevitable freak-out I had no doubt Cecilia was going to have. Unless she was already awake and remembered what we did. My eyes widened. What if she did? What if she had full clarity about what happened?
I picked up my steps and used the wine knocker to announce my presence.
No one answered.
I knocked again.
Nothing.
As I lifted it once more, the door swung open. “What is so important that you had to knock on my door five hundred times?” Cecilia yelled. Her hair was wild. She had on an oversized T-shirt that hung off one shoulder. Her legs were bare, making me wonder if she had anything on beneath it. She looked worse than I did when I crawled out of here. And she obviously didn’t recognize me, which meant she had no clue what happened.
Instead of easing into the conversation, I decided to have a little fun. It was either laugh or I was going to cry, and I was not a fan of shedding tears.
I grinned. “Hello, wife.”