The Perfect Husband by Lynn Dare
Harley
Running was a way I used to clear my head. Being near the beach was the perfect spot. I was grateful my brother and Kennedy lived on the coast and not inland where I’d have to drive far to get to the ocean.
I wasn’t someone who liked to spend hours in the gym. Running and swimming were my go-to for exercise. Alone as the sun was setting was perfect. If only I could clear my head like I intended to do.
My feet pushed off the sand as thoughts of my wife ran in a vicious cycle in my head. I was angry at myself, at the whole situation. I thought, when I’d get married, it would be for love. I’d find that perfect woman and would know from the start she was who I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
What I got was a woman who hated me and wanted to choke me every time she saw me.
I needed to get on her good side, though I wasn’t sure how since I didn’t know her at all. If we were going to make this believable, she couldn’t look at me with murder in her eyes every time she saw me.
At least I was attracted to her. It wouldn’t be a hardship to have to kiss and hug her when we were in public together. No, marriage shouldn’t be based on attraction alone, but it helped.
I decided to turn around after feeling the burn in my legs. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been running. It gave me something else to focus on rather than the disaster of a life I currently had.
Music played in my ears as I doubted our ability to make our marriage believable. I worried people would see right through us when we were together. Maybe not Hadden, since we’d only recently started spending more time together. But Kennedy was a different story. She knew me better than anyone. The only thing I had in my favor was that we’d been drifting for a while.
Just like that, I was back to regretting how things ended between Ken and me. Not that they ended. That was inevitable. But the way things played out.
Ken leaving with tears in her eyes.
Me being the cause of that pain.
My chest feeling like there was an ache in it that was never going to go away.
Her sleeping in her SUV.
At least Hadden had been there to welcome her into his apartment.
Then, of course, me and Had fighting.
We were on a good streak. No fistfights since I permanently moved to Cape Kismet. No yelling. Just two brothers getting along like they were supposed to.
I wasn’t naïve enough to think that would continue. Fighting was second nature for the two of us.
By the time I got back to the parking lot, I fished my keys out of my pocket. I’d ridden my Harley Davidson Sport Glide down to the beach. It gave me the chance to feel the wind against my face and the vibration of the motorcycle beneath me. What I didn’t love was slipping on a helmet when my head was covered in sweat. Fortunately, the ride home was short.
When I parked in the alley and shut off the engine, I took my helmet off and glanced up to find Hadden leaning against the stairs to my apartment. His arms were crossed, and his lips were in a thin line. I didn’t like that look at all.
My phone vibrated against my arm where it was strapped from my run. It had been doing that the whole time, but I ignored it. I hated being interrupted while I was running.
Finally giving in, I unstrapped the phone and saw I had five missed texts from Cecilia. I ignored Hadden for a moment and scrolled through them.
Wife:Cat’s out of the bag.
Wife:Rumors are aplenty.
Wife:Ellie knows.
Wife:So does Cruz.
Wife:And Kennedy.
My eyes widened. I didn’t care about any of them knowing except Ken.
I couldn’t lift my head to look at Hadden yet. If Ken knew, so did he.
Dammit. I had to do the walk of shame again. Only, no one knew it was the walk of shame except me. I had to pretend like I didn’t know why Had was here and also pretend I was completely in love with the woman I married.
I had my phone and keys in one hand and my helmet in the other as I walked toward my brother with a plastered-on smile.
“What’s up?” I asked. “Ken get sick of your ass and kick you out?” When all else failed, I defaulted to humor and sarcasm, depending on which the situation called for, sometimes both. Hell, I defaulted to them for a number of reasons. Not wanting to discuss my emotions. Wanting to evade questions.
He waited until I was standing in front of him before he moved and gripped me by the nape of my neck. It didn’t hurt, just a firm pressure to let me know what he was about to say was serious. “Care to tell me why I had to find out from Ken that my brother was married?”
I offered him a weak smile. “Sorry?”
He shook me a little then released me. “Get inside so we can talk.” He didn’t yell. Yet.
I unlocked my apartment door and left it open for Hadden to follow me in. He shut it behind him then propped himself against it like he was preventing me from leaving. Did he think I was going to try to escape? I lived here.
I dropped my stuff on the counter then pulled out a bottle of water from the fridge. As I chugged it down, I could feel Had’s eyes on me. I had to stay hydrated from my run, though, and this also gave me time to stall a little longer. Not that the end result was going to change. I still had to face my brother and whatever fallout this was going to cause.
In that moment, I was angry at Cecilia. I wanted out of this sham of a marriage. And she put me in a position where I had to lie to the people I loved. Yes, I went along with her plan, but damn, it hurt to have to lie like I was going to.
Leaning against the counter, I focused on my brother. His face was as cold as stone.
“You’re not going to deny it?” he asked.
I shrugged. “There’s nothing to deny. I got married. That’s the honest truth.” At least I didn’t have to lie about that.
“I don’t know whether to congratulate or throttle you.” He pushed off from the door and came into the kitchen, opening the door to the fridge. “You don’t even have anything to drink in here.” He frowned.
“Water. That’s all I need.”
He opened the freezer next and shut it. “I thought you kept a bottle of something in here. Now, there’s nothing but frozen veggies. The one time I want hard alcohol and there’s nothing.”
“I quit drinking.”
Turning to me, his eyes narrowed. “What the hell is going on, Lee?”
There it was. The use of the nickname Hadden and my parents called me.
“We didn’t want to wait. We fell hard and fast and decided to go for it.”
“You didn’t think your family would want to be there? That your brother would want to stand at the end of the aisle with you as you pledged your love and devotion to someone?” With every word he said, his voice got louder, angrier, and the knife in my chest plunged deeper. “Is this what we’re going back to? Hiding things from each other? Not talking or sharing when we have something big happen in our lives? I thought we were past that.”
I hung my head as shame weighed heavily on my shoulders. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but this was harder than I imagined. “I’m sorry.” I said it so quietly, I didn’t think he heard me.
Then, he was in front of me, wrapping his arms around me. “I wanted to be there, Lee,” he whispered. “You’re my only brother. I love you. I wanted to stand by you when you got married.”
I returned his embrace, my hands fisting at his back as I fought the tears trying to form. Damn emotions getting the better of me. “I really am sorry. It wasn’t planned. If it had been, I would have asked you to be my best man.”
I was suddenly reminded of how pathetic my life was. Hadden and Kennedy were my closest friends. I had casual friends in Clearwater but didn’t see them often. Given how much I traveled, when I was home, I was a hermit with Ken. I didn’t socialize unless I had to for work.
Had pulled back and held on to my shoulders. He peered into my eyes, and for a moment, I thought he was going to see through my lies. See the truth of what happened. He was good at reading people. Instead, he smiled. I didn’t deserve him.
“Let’s order takeout and have a brothers’ night in,” he suggested.
“Where’s Ken?”
“Out with your wife.” He smirked. “I was going to meet them after I got home from work, but this sounds better.”
I smiled. It was genuine. In this fake world I’d built with Cecilia, there was a desire there for me. Not for her necessarily but to have someone who was mine. Someone I was connected to who would have my back and would love me. But the cold hard truth was that wasn’t the case. Cecilia would only have my back as long as I kept up this ruse of ours. Once the news of our marriage died down and no one cared anymore, I’d go back to being alone.
It was amazing how fast my emotions could change. I was getting whiplash from them.
“Dinner sounds good,” I said to distract myself from my thoughts.
Hadden ordered from the diner then ran out to get it. I used the opportunity to text Cecilia back.
Me:There aren’t enough words in the English language to describe how much you owe me.
Wife:I know. I’m sorry.
Me:Are you really?
Wife:I didn’t mean for this to happen any more than you did.
Me:Yeah, but it was your idea to make it seem real.
Wife:You agreed.
And that was on me. I could have fought harder. Told her in no way would I pretend we wanted to get married and were in love. But when I saw the hurt on her face, I couldn’t deny her what she wanted.
I tossed my phone onto the coffee table a little too hard, and it skidded off the edge to the floor. Lying down on the couch, I threw my arm over my eyes and hoped I’d wake up from this nightmare.
But I didn’t.
Because it was my reality.
Had came back with containers of food. We sat in front of the TV and watched something stupid that I wasn’t paying attention to while we ate. I couldn’t care less what was on. I only had the TV for those moments when I needed a mindless escape.
“Ken texted me while I was out,” Had said. “She wants to throw you and Cecilia a party since we didn’t get to be there for your wedding and you didn’t have a reception. Ellie, of course, is on board. Cruz said he’ll provide the food.”
Cruz obviously loved his sister. I wondered how hard this was on Cecilia. If she was struggling like I was or if it was easier for her.
“That will be fun,” I replied. “Just tell me when and where and what I can do to help.”
He leaned back on the couch and smiled. “Nothing for you to do. You and your bride are the guests of honor. We’ll take care of everything. Well, I won’t. I kind of suck at party planning, but Ken is excited. She’ll do a great job.”
I returned his smile. “She will.”
Everything Ken did, she did with her whole heart. It was how I knew she was going to be very successful with her books. She poured her heart and soul into them. She just needed someone to help her along the way and get her the exposure she needed. The agent would do that for her.
“So,” Had said a few minutes later, “when are you moving?”
“Huh?”
“You and Cecilia. Surely, you’re going to move in together. Or is she coming here? This place isn’t very big. Not really enough room for two people to live in.”
Dammit. We were going to have to live together. Why didn’t either of us think of that? How was I going to live with someone I didn’t even know? I had more questions than answers.
In college, I had a roommate I didn’t know, sure. Although, we were both there to study and learn. We weren’t in a committed relationship. We grew close eventually. With Ken, living with her was a given once we both were done with college.
“I’m going to move in with her,” I blurted out. I hoped she was on board with this. If she wasn’t, too bad. She wanted this nightmare of a marriage to continue, so she was going to have to be flexible.
My mind drifted to the night we spent in bed together—our wedding night. Was she flexible in other ways?
Wait.
There would be no sleeping with anyone else while I was married. No dating anyone else. No looking for the woman I wanted to be with.
Cecilia was really screwing my life up.
I was partly to blame, but I wasn’t focusing on that.
Had clapped me on the shoulder. “I’m going to miss having you next door.”
Just like that, my mood went south again. “I’m going to miss you, too.”
I came to Cape Kismet to be close to my brother and Ken, and here I was moving away soon after getting here. I didn’t like it one bit. Yes, I’d still be in the same town but not next door.
What was going to happen when Cecilia and I separated? I doubted Lovern would still have this apartment open for rent. I was going to have to find someplace else to live, which, in the Cape, was hard to do unless I bought something.
I shouldn’t be thinking about this. One day at a time. One dumpster fire to put out first before others popped up. Lovely.