Caught by Emma Louise

Chapter Twenty-One

What the fuck did I just do? Looking down at Darcey as she sleeps in my bed, I want to kick my ass. As soon as I touched her, I knew there was no stopping it; I was going to have her. I also knew it would be good. The pull between us is too strong for it not to be, but I didn’t expect her to knock me on my ass. Sliding inside her was hands-down the best thing I've ever felt.

I could stay here and watch her sleep for hours, but I don't think that's a good idea. I need space to think, and having her soft, warm body pressed tightly against mine isn’t helping. Leaving her to rest, I yank my jeans up and go call Gavin to make sure everything is okay with Cassidy.

He lets me know that Natalie has her, and she's good to stay there for the night. I want nothing more than to go back in my bedroom, strip Darcey completely naked, and spend the rest of the night fucking her through my bed. But I can't. Despite knowing that she's everything I want, the ferocity of my feelings for her have scared the shit out of me.

As much as I want to wake her up, kiss the shit out of her, and tell her that she's mine, I realize that isn't fair to her. She deserves better than having to deal with my complicated mess. Instead of doing all the things I want to do with her, I'm going to have to break the promise I made to Felix. I'm going to have to hurt her again. Hurt both of us.

I thought I was in love once before, and that ended with my life being turned upside down and me being left a shell of the person I was before. After being with Darcey just once, I already know that she has the power to destroy me worse than anyone else ever has. I’m not sure what would be left of me if things went to shit with her, and my instinct tells me that it’s better to end this before it even begins.

I know she's behind me before I hear the door slide open. The feeling of her soft hand landing on the bare skin of my back sends a jolt of awareness right to my cock. Her touch is a current of electricity that has every synapse firing.

"Max..."

I have to push the urge to turn and kiss her out of my mind. I need to nip this thing in the bud right now, but whatever words I was thinking of using to push her away die on my tongue when I catch a look at the expression on her face. She looks up at me with wide eyes filled with tears, lips trembling. I know at that moment that it's done.

It's over.

I can't fight it.

I can't fight her.

I'm not going to be able to push her away.

"Come here," I finally manage to say, reaching out to grab a hold of her. She stares at me, confusion clouding her face.

"What?"

"I said come here." She's close enough for me to reach out and grab her, so I do. Wrapping a hand around her neck, I pull her close enough to drop my lips to hers. She lets out a startled gasp, giving me the opportunity to dip inside and taste my fill of her. She tastes like toothpaste and something I can’t name because it’s so uniquely Darcey. It doesn't take long before she's melting into me. Her arms wrap around me, and my dick decides it likes how she scores her nails against the bare skin of my back.

"You sleep good?" I ask when I finally manage to drag my lips from hers. Wrapping an arm around her waist, I hold her close, her hands rest against the bare skin of my chest.

"Huh?" Fuck me, she's adorable as she looks up at me with soft eyes and kiss-swollen lips.

"I said, did you sleep good?"

"Max..." She sighs. "I'm so freaking confused."

"Wait here one minute," I say, dropping a fast kiss to her head before I go into the kitchen. Collecting a couple of fresh beers, I grab myself a hoodie, another for Darcey and the knitted afghan from the back of the couch. When I get back outside, I find her in the exact place I left her. One foot crossed over the other as she shifts restlessly as she waits.

"Put this on." I hold out the hoodie, indicating she needs to put her hands up. Slipping it over her head, I take the presented opportunity and kiss her once it's in place. The confusion on her face is killing me, but I'm hopeful she doesn't tell me to get fucked after we’re done with this conversation. Clasping ahold of her hand, I pull her down to the dock and drop the blanket. I help her sit before I do the same. We stay like that for a while, her pressed close to my side, neither of us saying anything. It’s early evening, but it’s already colder than usual.

"What do you know about my marriage?" I ask eventually, figuring it's better to just get it out there, like ripping off a band-aid. The air around us shifts as she freezes. She doesn't answer. She continues to stare blankly into the distance, her shoulders deflate, and she lets out a small humorless laugh.

"I'm a fucking idiot," she finally says, reaching up to swipe under her eye. Gripping her chin, I tilt her head to get a better look at her. My chest constricts at the sight of the tear that streaks down her cheek. "I mean, I knew it of course, but hearing you actually say it..." She drops her head in defeat, her shoulders moving as she starts to cry.

"No, baby, don't cry." I reach out to pull her close, but she shifts back before I can grab her.

"Can we not do this?" She sniffs unhappily. "Can we pretend today didn't happen?"

"Not a fucking chance," I growl, and the warning in my tone must catch her attention because she finally looks my way. "She isn't important. She's nothing to me."

"She's your wife—" She tries to speak, but I only have a small window of time here to get her to listen. Maybe I should’ve started this conversation in bed; she seems less likely to fight me when I'm on the verge of making her come.

"She's still my wife on paper. That's it. I haven't laid eyes on her in over two years, and we haven't had a conversation in almost as long." I reach out and wrap the palm of my hand around her cheek when she goes to move herself away again. "Don't. Don't turn away from me. I'll tell you whatever you want to know; just please, hear me out, okay?" She studies me for a second before giving me a sad nod.

"First, I need to know exactly what it is that you know. What was in the file they gave you on me?"

"Just that you'd been in the Navy and had been married for five years. They told me where I'd be able to find you that night. That was it. We never got very many details, to be honest. They wanted the interactions to be as natural as possible." Interactions? Fuck. The thought of her interacting with strange men makes me want to punch a hole through the deck. Pushing the anger down, I focus on getting this conversation over with as fast as possible. Dropping my hold on her, it's my turn to face the water. I'm not sure how much of this crap I'll get through if I keep looking at her.

"We met when I was just out of basic. She was ... nice." I finally settle on the only word that seems close enough to describing the woman I stupidly married.

"You don't sound so sure about that description."

"That's because I know the truth now."

"The truth?"

"She was nice until she got what she wanted. Me." Darcey doesn't speak, but I feel her eyes on me. "Your father was in the Army?" I ask, remembering her telling me he was that first night we met.

"Yeah. He was," she says softly.

"So you know what it's like? The long hours most days, being away for months at a time. Not seeing your family, not being able to speak to them whenever you want. When you're out in those disgusting places, you need to know you have something good waiting at home for you; otherwise, what's the point, you know?"

Her hand reaches out and lands on my thigh, squeezing softly, giving me the encouragement I didn't know I needed to be able to carry on. "My dad was a complicated man. He never spoke much about feelings, but I can imagine what you're saying is true."

"Things were casual to begin with. We went to the same high school, a couple of years apart, but it wasn't until we had both graduated that we hooked up. She was in college, home on break, and we met at a party. The same thing kept happening whenever we were both in town. When I deployed the first time, she wrote to me every few weeks. We never even dated properly, but she was there. She gave me something to focus on when shit was overwhelming out there."

"What happened next?" Darcey asks after I've been silent for a minute.

"She lied. Told me she was pregnant and that we needed to stop fucking around and settle down."

"She lied?"

"There was no baby. She got a friend to take a test for her," I tell her, not letting my mind go back to how fucked up that time was. No matter how I felt about her, I was going to be there for my baby. I was crushed when the truth came out, and I swore that I’d never trust any woman completely again. Until Darcey.

"Wow." She breathes out harshly, her face scrunched up like she’s just tasted something sour.

"I was young and stupid enough to fall for it. I should’ve pressed her for more proof, but she always was this sweet little thing. She said she was happy to go to the courthouse and get married with no fuss; it was all so easy that I went along with it. The ink wasn't even dry on the marriage license before she turned into a raging bitch. I swear, it was like she flipped a switch once the ring was on. At first, I thought it was because we had to get used to each other. We might have known one another for a long time, but it isn’t the same as being married, you know?" I ask the question, but I don't get an answer as Darcey stares out at the lake. "It was a couple of months later, while I was overseas for a second time that she told me she had lost the baby. I felt like shit for being so far away, but I couldn’t do anything about it. She was hell to live with after that; the only time she was happy was when she was making me miserable. I put up with that shit for years, even after finding out she'd lied to trap me."

"She sounds like a nightmare."

"The real nightmare started after I finally asked for a divorce." I laugh bitterly. "She's done every single thing she could to make it impossible to escape her. I would file papers, only for her to disappear.”

"Why? Why would she not sign?"

"She wanted to ruin me, to put me in my place for trying to divorce her. We had a prenup, something her father insisted on. It said that if I was the one to leave the marriage or if I cheated, I would have to give her everything, including everything I’ve worked for the last few years. It wasn’t an issue in the beginning because I had nothing to give her; I had no money, no property. I was willing to give her it all just so it could be over. But by the time she came back, things were different. Elite started taking off, I had money in the bank, some investments, a couple of properties. No way am I going to give her a cent of what me and the guys have worked our asses off for. That is when I decided to play her at her own game. I stopped pressing for the divorce, and she started trying so hard to catch me ‘cheating’,” I say, air quoting the word.

"I can't believe she's like that." She shakes her head in disbelief.

"You've met her. You must know she's a grade-A bitch."

"I've met her?"

"You really don't know, do you?” I ask, stunned that I got it so wrong with Darcey the first time we met. “Serena, your old boss, is my soon-to-be ex-wife." Her eyes round impossibly wide as she stares up at me with her jaw gaping open.

"Serena?" Her disbelief makes me feel uncomfortable. I was so sure she knew exactly who I was the first time we met and when she turned up to work for us. I'm realizing I was very wrong about that, and it makes me feel shitty for being a dick to her. "Wow, okay. I wasn't expecting that," she finally says, shaking her head.

"Say something," I prompt after she's silent for a while.

"I'm ... so..." she mutters, struggling to find words.

"Baby," I cut her off, sifting my hand through her hair so I can tilt her head my way. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"What does this mean? For us?" The fear in her eyes cuts me to the quick. "Is there even an us anymore?" Answering her the only way I know how, I lean in and press a hard kiss to her soft lips.

"Of course there is an us," I practically growl against her mouth.

"How?"

"Because being with you is the incentive I needed to end this shit once and for all. She's fucked around with me for years, and I've let her because it didn't matter much to me. It was a piece of paper, a minor inconvenience. And now that has changed."

"It has?"

"Yes. Massively. I want you and Cassidy in my life with no complications." She bites her lip, trying to hide the smile that tries to creep across her face.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I confirm, kissing her again, hoping she can feel how much I mean the words I'm saying. I’m done holding back. I’m about to show her just how much I want this with her.

“I can’t say much right now,” I tell her once I’m finally able to drag my mouth from hers. “I’m still working shit out, but you need to trust me when I tell you that everything is going to work out just fine; you have nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing?”

“Not a damn thing.” I watch as she processes all that we’ve talked about. My breath seizes in my lungs as I wait for her to say something, anything to let me know where her head is at. Finally, she looks me in the eye and says the five words I need to hear most right now.

“Okay, Max. I trust you.”