Defender of Hearts by Tanya Bird

Chapter 33

Astin knew when Lyndal sent for him that her meeting with the queen had not gone to plan. Her tear-stained face and puffy eyes confirmed it. While he knew with every fibre of his body that he was not going to like what she was about to tell him, he was patient as they stood outside the castle wall, away from prying eyes.

‘Just tell me you’re still leaving,’ he said. ‘That’s all I really need to hear right now.’

She looked away, giving him his answer.

‘What happened?’

Lyndal bit her lip before replying. ‘We both knew it was too late for a change of heart.’

He moved sideways to catch her eye. ‘After the wedding is too late. Now is just a very unfortunate time.’ She took a small step back, which bothered him. ‘What did she threaten you with? Whatever it is, I can help if you tell me.’

‘It wasn’t like that.’ She shook her head. ‘She assures me my vision for the merchant borough will come to fruition. I was being pushy, trying to rush through a process that can’t be hurried.’

He closed the distance between them and took hold of her arms. ‘This is horse shit. What are you talking about? Pushy? The man’s a lunatic.’

‘I’m sorrier than I can put into words. The last thing I meant to do was hurt you.’

‘Look at me.’ He shook her. ‘This isn’t about me. We’re getting you out of here for you.’ Registering the shock on her face, he let her go. ‘I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m trying to understand what happened in there that has you moving in the complete opposite direction.’

‘It’s the same direction I was always moving in,’ she said, gripping her dress. ‘Queen Fayre simply steered me back on course.’

He stared hard at her, trying to read her but failing. ‘So, to be clear, your plan is to remain here, marry the crazy man, and play the virgin bride on your wedding night? That’s your plan?’

Her ears turned red. ‘The queen mother won’t let him get away with bad behaviour again. She’s speaking to him right now about last night, and he listens to her.’

He brought a hand to his forehead. ‘Your naivety actually astounds me at times. I thought you were smarter than this.’

He saw a flash of hurt before she blinked it away.

‘So it’s fine for you to serve and protect a madman year after year, which is of no benefit to anyone, but when I come in with an actual plan that will help people, I’m naive?’

He drew a slow breath. ‘I’m a defender. It’s my job.’

‘And when I’m queen, I too will have a job.’ She crossed her arms. ‘You never did tell me your plan. Were you going to get me out, then continue to be his guard dog?’

He dipped his head so he was eye level with her. ‘Myplan? My plan was to step aside and let you dig your own grave. Then you came to me, crying, telling me you’ve changed your mind, and I fell into bed with you like an idiot.’

She looked away. ‘I was confused and scared.’

‘And now you’re fine? Queen Fayre made it all better?’ He began to pace, eyes on his feet. ‘You know, I’m not doing this dance with you over and over again. If she’s forcing your hand, you need to speak up, so I can help you. If you’re actually choosing this for yourself, then you’re on your own from now on. I’m not coming in that room next time to save your arse.’ He paused. ‘And you should know, the other defenders follow the rules around here, so if the king tells them to step aside so he can do as he pleases with you, they’ll step aside.’

He faced her again, registering the hurt expression.

‘Well, it’s comforting to know just how deep your feelings run, defender. You care for my well-being so long as I follow your list of conditions.’

‘We’re back to “defender” now?’

‘Appropriate given the direction the conversation has taken.’

He leaned in, speaking through his teeth. ‘I’m going to ask you one more time if this is what you want. If it is, I’m done. It’ll fall upon your sister to cover up the bruises.’

She looked so crushed by his words that he became hopeful he might have actually gotten through. He was wrong.

Nodding thoughtfully, she said, ‘I think that’s for the best anyway. Any interference by you will only raise suspicions and cause problems for both of us. Better that we agree here and now to stay away from one another. You focus on your job, and I’ll focus on mine.’

He blinked, his chest tightening. ‘That’s your answer?’

She looked him straight in the eye. ‘I hope I was clear. Chadora can’t have a stuttering queen.’

He took a few calming breaths as he stepped back from her. ‘Loud and clear, my lady.’

Astin packed up his vile mood and rode to the farming borough to find his sister. Yes, he needed to speak to her, but he also needed a chance to clear his head before reporting for duty. He hoped the ride might reduce the probability of him breaking the king’s jaw.

As he turned off the road and headed towards the farmhouse, he glimpsed his sister out front with a man he did not recognise. He thought it might be Chadwick, but they stood too far apart to be lovers. Presley’s shoulders were rounded, her eyes downcast. The man’s voice carried all the way to Astin, his gestures too big.

The pair looked in his direction when he appeared. Then Presley straightened, and the man lowered his hands. Astin stared hard at him as he pulled his horse up and dismounted. Only when he was standing beside his sister did he look to her for an introduction.

‘Brother,’ Presley said. ‘You remember Chadwick.’ She looked between them. ‘And I’m sure you remember my brother, Astin.’

The men nodded, sizing one another up.

‘What are we discussing?’ Astin asked, eyes on Chadwick.

‘A private matter’ was the man’s reply.

That made it official. Astin did not like his sister’s soon-to-be husband.

‘Wedding things,’ Presley said, playing the peacekeeper. ‘Boring things.’

Astin’s gaze never left Chadwick. ‘I’d like a private word with my sister, please.’

‘We’re to be married,’ Chadwick replied, lifting that square chin of his. ‘We don’t have secrets.’

‘Well, I’m not marrying you.’

Chadwick’s face hardened. He went to say something, but Presley beat him to it.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Chadwick looked between them, nodded, then went to fetch his horse, which was tethered in front of the house. Presley watched him mount and ride away while Astin watched her.

‘What is it with smart women marrying idiots?’ he said. ‘Of all the men in the borough…’

She turned to face him, arms crossed. ‘Is this about Chadwick or Lady Lyndal? Because the look on your face when you arrived made it clear you weren’t here to make friends. You could have tried.’

‘I could hear him yelling at you from the road.’

She glanced in the direction of the house, where Rose was peering out of the window at them. Astin followed her gaze and waved at his youngest sister. The curtain immediately fell back into place.

‘The uniform has that effect on children,’ he said.

‘So does never visiting.’

His eyes returned to her. ‘Where’s Cooper?’

She began walking. ‘Due home any minute, so you should probably leave.’

Astin fell into step with her. ‘I got your message.’

She slowed, not speaking for a while. ‘I may have snooped through some of Cooper’s private letters.’

‘It wasn’t a one-time deal, was it?’

Presley shook her head as they walked beneath the bare trees that were once an orchard. ‘I think they’re under the illusion that they can keep it from the rest of the kingdom.’

‘And the fallout will be disastrous.’

‘What’s happening in the merchant borough is already disastrous. So much preventable death. I hope the new queen has a plan.’

‘Oh, she does.’

Presley watched him for a moment. ‘Of all the women you could have fallen in love with, you had to go and fall in love with her.’

He stopped walking. ‘You drew that conclusion based on what?’

She sighed. ‘Seeing the two of you together.’

‘For all of five minutes?’

‘Well, you made up your mind about Chadwick after two.’ She looked away, shaking her head. ‘I don’t have a ton of choices like you did.’

That last part got to him. ‘What are you talking about? I never had choices.’

‘You chose to leave.’

‘You think that was a choice? Was I supposed to wait around until he beat me to death?’ When she did not reply, he said, ‘If this is about me leaving, surely you understand that I couldn’t take you with me. I was hardly going to take you from the comfort of your home to live on the streets.’

Her eyes snapped back to his. ‘The comfort of my home? Is that how you remember it?’

Astin’s hands went to rest on his hips. ‘You know what I mean.’

‘No, I don’t.’

‘I would have been taking you from your mother, from regular food, from a warm bed—’

‘You would have been taking me away from him.’

Astin searched her tear-filled eyes. ‘If he had taken his belt to you even once, I would never have left you behind.’

She blinked. ‘His belt? You think he needed a belt to hurt me?’ Shaking her head, she stepped back. ‘You should go. If he sees you here, Mother will be the one who pays.’

Astin did not move. ‘If there’s something you haven’t told me—’

‘I’m not doing this.’ She began walking in the direction of the house, arms wrapping her like a shield.

‘Presley.’

She picked up her pace, so he jogged to catch up. ‘Tell me he never laid a hand on you.’

She turned to him, panting. ‘It doesn’t matter now. Your question’s years too late. He never flogged me with his belt, never hit me, never kicked me in the face or held my head underwater. He never did those things to me. Happy?’

Astin felt sick as a realisation hit him. ‘Oh shit.’ He linked his hands atop his head, turning in a circle. ‘I’m going to fucking kill him.’

‘And what will that change? The damage is done.’

‘You should have told me. I would have protected you.’

She started to cry. ‘I couldn’t. He said if I told anyone he would kill our mother—and I had every reason to believe him.’

Astin stopped moving. ‘He doesn’t still—’

‘No. He hasn’t touched me since I was fifteen, since the day Mother found out.’

He stared at her, his stomach rolling. ‘Why have you stayed here all these years? I could have found you work, somewhere to live.’

She looked up at him. ‘Why do you think?’

‘Rose.’ His hands fell to his sides. ‘You stayed to protect her.’

‘Yes, I stayed to protect her, because that’s what a good mother does.’ Presley wiped fresh tears off her cheeks and looked in the direction of the house. ‘I stayed because she’s my daughter.’