Camden by Shey Stahl
Pressure builds in my head, my pulse rages in my ears. I stare at River, unable to process what just happened. My heart skips, stutters, stops, and then starts again, desperately trying to make sense of what I just did.
Do you see me there, sitting on the bench, trying to make myself move, react, fucking do something besides be weak?
What the fuck was that? Where was my self-control and my rock-solid, I’m-unshakable shit?
Walking around the pits half naked, that’s where.
I couldn’t stand it anymore.
And now I can’t decide if I want to puke or kill Jonah, thinking about them together. I knew River had been with other guys; hell, I’ve been with other women, but still, it doesn’t stop that possessive control when it takes hold of my heart. I suppose some might use the word jealousy. I don’t want to. I’ve never liked the word because to me it indicates weakness.
While we’re at it, I know when I fell for River. She was sixteen, my lips touched her skin for the first time and I hated myself for it. I knew because it was no longer a question of do I love her, but a memory of a time when I didn’t understand it. Before the infiniteness of her friendship I sat, in a place love existed, wrapped in the two who snuck out at night to a motocross track and ate marshmallows under the stars. When the sweet taste of my name on her lips gave me something I hadn’t known I needed, begging me for a promise, the kind of promise you can’t keep past sunrise.
And now here I am, lost in the realization of the consequences. I almost fucked her. I was seconds away from ripping her panties off and sliding inside her. When I reached inside my pants, there was a split second when I thought, maybe… and then I chickened out because I couldn’t. Not like that. Not in a trailer in the pits at a race. She deserved better than a ProHo.
River stands inside my trailer and frowns, sliding her panties down her thighs. “You got paper towels in here?”
“Yeah, over there.” I motion to the counter next to where my bike is secured. I tuck myself back into my pants and finally stand, diverting my eyes from her bare center. She’s fucking naked in front of me and I desperately want to see what she looks like with nothing on, but I can’t make myself. I rake my hand through my hair, tug on the ends and beg myself, don’t look. Don’t do it.
Letting out a shaky breath, River takes a paper towel, sweeps it over the inside of her panties and then fuckin’ tosses her underwear at me, giggling. “Look what you did.”
They hit my face, then fall beside me. I stand and then do the stupidest thing I’ve done yet. Just wait. I’m irrational and dumb. It starts when she steps toward me, my cum still wet on my stomach. Without thinking, I pull her toward me, sweep my hand over my stomach and then wipe it on her stomach. “Look what you did.” I laugh, kissing her shoulder, smearing the product of our time together on her body.
She bends and curves around me, laughing. My stomach clenches at the way her fingers trail over my body. My eyes deceive me. I look. I fucking stare and obsess over her bare center. There’s the smallest dusting of dark hair, a glistening wetness, but that’s not what catches my attention. Her clit is pierced.
I’m caught up, my words tied in my throat as her tits press to the side of my chest. Slowly sliding her hand over my abdomen, she takes her finger and catches the last drop of cum near my belly button and then licks her finger. The moan she releases around her finger makes my dick hard again. “You taste good,” she mumbles against my shoulder.
We’re sharing body heat now. And our breathing; take a look. We’re both hot and bothered and I can’t possibly get enough. I beg, plead and tell myself to stop, but not a goddamn one of those options works for me. I squeeze her ass cheek in my hand. Groaning, my head hits her shoulder, my body slumping into hers. “Does your dad know your clit is pierced?”
She pushes away from me with one hand and distances herself. “No. And don’t tell him.”
At some point and I’m not sure how—okay, I know how, but whatever—we start kissing again and I have my hand between her legs. Look at me there. I’m pathetic and self-absorbed in my need. I want my mouth on her clit, and okay, my dick in there too, but I’m resisting. Maybe not entirely, but let’s give me a couple points here. I’m at least distanced a few inches.
That’s when all hell breaks loose.
“Cam-Man, ya in here!” I hear just before the door handle jiggles to the trailer.
I panic and yank my hand away from River, regret that decision because she slaps me in the face, and stand up straight.
“Why’d you stop,” she pants, cheeks flushed, mouth parted in the sexiest pout.
“Your dad!” I whisper-shout. I think she’s more pissed off I stopped, mid-orgasm, than she is that her dad is on the other side of the metal door separating us from death.
His hand hits the door again and echoes through the trailer. “You fuckin’ in there, boy?”
“No. I’m changing. Hold on,” I yell, yanking my pants down and grabbing for the shorts and shirt I came in out of my bag. I’ve never gotten dressed so fast in my life, but then River and I are standing face to face, trying to decide what happens next. She doesn’t have any clothes on. “Hide in there,” I tell her, gesturing to my gear bag on the floor.
She does without question and I zip it up knowing this ranks high on my list of things I never thought I’d do in my life.
“Toss my panties in here!”
I do as she says, wait for her to zip it back up and then unlock the door.
Tiller is standing in front of me and his unpredictable, impulsive nature leaves me never knowing what his mood will be from one moment to the next, or, how he might react. His eyes slide down my body, around the trailer behind me and then focus in on me. “What were you doing in here?”
“Changing,” I’m quick to tell him.
“Good run,” he notes, though I know his interest isn’t with the win. He could give a flying fuck about who wins these events. He’s here because he’s forced to be.
I run a shaking hand through my hair, dart my eyes to my gear bag where River is and then mumble, “Thanks.” My hand still smells like her.
“Have you seen my daughter?”
“No.” My heart pulses in my head again and I lean my shoulder into the door frame, blocking him from coming inside and cross my arms over my chest. “Why?”
He regards me, and then over his shoulder to the sounds of bikes revving. “Because she’s walking around the pits half naked and I can’t find her.”
Oh, I found her all right and my self-control went with it. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to will indifference in my tone. “I haven’t seen her.”
I don’t know, I mean, I think I know, but look at him. He leans in, arms splayed out on the door frame. He’s testing me, isn’t he? I shift my stance, cross my arms over my chest, anything to appear relaxed when my head is ready to explode. This guy in front of me, I’ve looked up to him for the last fourteen years. He’s, crazily enough, my best friend. I envy his badass attitude and his ability to get out of his own head and ignore the bullshit. Something I’ve never been good at.
Sighing, he takes a step back, intimidating dark eyes that mirror his daughter lock on mine. “If you see her, tell her to put some fucking clothes on,” he says, shoving away from the trailer with a grunt.
When he’s out of sight, I close the door, lock it again. River punches the inside of the bag. “Open it! I can’t breathe in here.”
I do, immediately. She sits up, her cheeks red, hair tangled, and still fucking naked. My eyes roam to her bare chest. A week. She turns eighteen in a week. I think I even chant that to myself.
I help her out only to have her shove against my shoulder, fanning her face. “Your bag stinks.”
“Well, my sweaty gear goes in there,” I point out, backing up against my bike, my calf hitting the front tire.
Pulling her bottom lip into her mouth, she smirks, slides her panties on and steps toward me. Leaning in, I breathe her in, wishing our love didn’t have to be a secret. I want to hold her hand in the spotlight, not sneak around in the shadows and avoid her dad. I want his approval but that’s not something I’m going to get from him. No one will.
“Please go put some clothes on,” I beg, running my hands up the backs of her legs. I can’t stop myself; I have to be touching her in any way possible.
“Why?”
She’s always testing me. I raise an eyebrow. “You know why.”
“I will. In a minute,” she whispers, before welding her lips to mine again.
I crave her in ways I can’t express. More than I’ve ever wanted a woman before. Not that I have much experience in that department, but River controls me, much like her dad. I don’t know what it is about this family but I’m constantly either seeking their approval or company.
Pulling away, River searches my eyes. “Are you coming to my birthday party next week?”
I nod. My heart kicks faster. “I will.”
It’s a lie though. I have no intention of going because I know what she wants from me. Something I’m not going to give her anywhere near that mansion.
