Endless Love by Bianca Borell

Chapter Eleven

BRIA

I dab away the tears that formed after my call with Dr. Bertrand. They come from a good place, a place of acceptance and strength. Determined footsteps thump on the floor, and I lift my gaze from my phone to him, a scowl transforming his face.

I turn in his arms, raise to my toes, and kiss his frown away.

“My head isn’t where it should be. I have to watch over the company, and you’re not making it easy,” he says but holds me tighter.

“Hmm, and here I thought you didn’t distract that easily,” I sass back.

“Oh, baby, you’re the master.” He chuckles, and I plant a kiss on the middle of his chest.

“If you say so.”

“Aren’t you a little tease?” His nose brushes mine, and his hands slide down my back as I sigh.

“But now, seriously . . . I have to get back to work too. I feel guilty by how . . .”

“I would never interfere, but you should take it easy. Just for a little while more.”

I don’t contradict him. For years, my life revolved around my work. I need to find the passion for my job again. I’m not there yet.

I nod but get side-tracked by the ringing of the intercom. We weren’t expecting anyone. Damien steps toward the door, peers at the camera and huffs as he opens the door, and my soon-to-be sister-in-law walks in.

“Since you have no intention of stepping out into the real world, I took matters in my own hands.”

“A call would have done that too,” Damien counters, irritation punctuating his words. She scoffs and passes by him. I switch my gaze from him to her, a measure of comfort making a home inside of me.

“Yes, but I like to make an appearance, and if I remember correctly, there’s a wedding ahead of us. I’m here to take Bria for some girl time.”

Damien furrows his eyebrows at her, opening his mouth to protest surely, but I am quicker. “Soph, I would love to.”

Damien pouts, his eyes pleading. “Bria . . .”

I peck him on his lips and say, “You, my love, go back to work. I won’t be gone for long.” He crosses his hands over his chest, his eyebrows arched. “You’ll survive.”

“You guys are too sweet. I could get diabetes just by watching you.”

I roll my eyes at her and usher her to the door while she giggles.

I grab my purse, and before we leave, Damien slaps my bottom and winks mischievously at me. I threaten him to behave with a finger while he lifts his hands, smirking. No proof of him being sorry.

In the elevator, Sophia tips her head in my direction. “You two seem to be more than well. Who would have thought?”

“No one, so, how’s Alex?”

“Busy.” I narrow my eyes at her.

“How are things working out between you two?”

“Can’t complain.” There it is again, the nagging feeling.

“Sophia?” She shakes her head at me. This is her answer.

“I try. He’s doing the same.”

“I know him. He wouldn’t be in a relationship if he didn’t want one. I think you’re his first actual relationship. I’m sure all the unfamiliar feelings confuse him.” She leans back, her forehead creasing.

“I can feel how much he cares for me, but sometimes he seems far away, and I doubt I can reach him.” I squeeze her hand.

“Give it some time. You’re both in unknown territory.”

“Enough about me. I wanted our time together to be about your wedding and not about my love life.” She waves her hand and her eyes shine when they find my ring, awe lacing in her words.“I have never seen a more beautiful engagement ring. Let me look at it again.”

I raise my hand to her, and emotions overwhelm me at once—the perfect symbol of past, present, and future, sparkling on my finger. It enthralls me every time I look at it, exactly like the man who put it there.

***

Sophia parks the car, and we step inside the coffee shop, retreating to a more secluded table with an unobstructed view over the lake and order two cappuccinos. The sun shines brightly in the middle of the sky, an overall good vibe surrounds us.

“You beam. It’s contagious in a good way. To be here with you as a person and not facing a wall, is amazing.”

“When you think, not so long ago, I was the definition of one. I guess love cures all.”

Her face contorts into an undiluted rage, her nostrils flaring. “If it were me in your place, I would have killed her.”

“What good would that do? She’s a bitter and hateful person. I want nothing to do with her. I hope she keeps her distance, but I doubt Damien will let things go. She betrayed him too.”

“Right, and don’t forget Alex. That man would sell his soul for you.” Her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes though. I wonder if she’s okay having to share his love for me. We all want someone just for us, alone. Why wouldn’t she? She tilts her head to the lake, melancholy flashing in her eyes.

“I would do the same for him in a heartbeat.” She nods as if she knows it already and returns from her mental wanderings. Will she ever confide in me?

“Let’s hope it won’t come to that. I’m sure my dear brother won’t take it as lightly as I do.” A pang of something undefined strikes me, but I brush it off. I love Alex, but Damien, he owns my soul.

“Alex and I, we’re family.” She turns her head back to me, and her full lips lift into a small smile.

“Still . . .”

“There’s nothing to overthink about, Soph.”

“Do you think he can love me the way he loves you?” she blurts out, her eyes widening.

“You don’t want that, believe me. Let him love you how it should be.”

“If you and Damien . . .”

I put my hand over hers, and cut right straight to her unfinished words. “Talk to him. He tends to fight alone. Show him it doesn’t have to be like that with you. He also has a side to him that fears rejection. Smash down his walls. You’re a du Sky, it’s in your blood.”

“There’s no one else for you, right?”

“Never was.”

She shuts her eyes for a second and asks, “Are you afraid?”

“Of a lot of things, to be honest. Not to grow old with him, to wanting to give him a child . . .” Hurt seeps through my heart, hearing out loud my greatest fears, but every day I get a little better, and the damage caused by my fears in the face of reality subsides.

“He won’t do anything that might threaten your recovery, and pregnancy could weaken your heart. I’m sorry.” She finds my hand on the table and pats it in sympathy. “He has only ever needed and wanted you. I’m sure you can work it out together.”

“Yes, we always do.”

“Back to the wedding. How far are you with the planning?”

“What planning?” Her eyes bulge out, and she shakes her head at me.

“Bria?”

“It’s not my fault your brother keeps me occupied all the time.” She scrunches her nose while I stifle my amusement.

“Don’t put images in my head.”

“Stop being a child.”

“Stop being a pervert.”

We burst into laughter, the sound echoing around us.

“Don’t distract me from the important aspect. You need a wedding dress.”

“We have to fly to London.”

“Can’t wait,” she squeals, then adds, “How about the honeymoon?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“How romantic of him. Years of playing the heartless playboy, and the moment you’re back in his life, he’s like a puppy.” I flinch, a mix of hurt and disgust rolling down my stomach.

“I would appreciate not discussing Damien’s past and his many affairs.” She props both elbows on the table, her palms supporting each cheek.

“I bet you googled every single one.”

I dip my head and fidget with my fingers. “Yes, and I’m not proud of it.”

“It was meant as a joke. Still fresh, I guess.”

“It’s okay, but I would prefer never to meet one in person.” She leans in the seat and purses her lips.

“Good luck with that.”

She mouths sorry, but we both know there’s nothing to soothe it. It’s his past, and I have to face it. Am I ready? Absolutely not, but I accept him the way he is, including a chapter I would have preferred to skip.

“Why do you torment yourself?”

“I . . .”

“It was always you in his mind, heart, and even body. I was a front row witness and let me assure you, my brother has loved only one woman . . . you.” I take a sip of the coffee, peering at her through my lashes.

“Do you really believe it?” She rolls her eyes at me and waves me off.

“Bria, don’t be stupid.”

Her harsh words send a bolt of realization to my mind. Nothing that happened in the absence of the other matters. We found our way back, our love is stronger than ever. Damien and I have loved each other since the beginning of us, and even with all the changes we went through, that love never stopped.

“Thank you, I needed that.”

“No one could ever come close to you for my brother, not even Chloe.” I stroke the rim of the cup and sigh.

“I’m sure she’d have made him happy.”

Her electric blue eyes crash on mine and she says,“She wasn’t you. My brother didn’t want someone else, he wanted you, and because he didn’t get to have you, he took everything others offered him.” I don’t answer, afraid my voice will betray how it still affects me, knowing that someone else could have taken my place.

“Chloe is the only one smart enough to realize it. That’s why she is a constant in his life.”

“I met her.” I place the cup on the table and Sophia’s eyes fill with curiosity. “Yes, the night when I snuck out. She left a strong impression behind her.”

“Not only to you,” she says, deep in thought. She bends over and asks, “And?”

“I have no idea if she loves him romantically or platonically. I’m still deciding, but she has my gratitude for being there for him.”

“She didn’t succeed, and if she didn’t, then there was no one else. Don’t worry about Chloe, trust me. I know what I’m talking about.”

I nod, and then ask, “How is my team?”

“I secretly counted the minutes until you would start asking about work.” She chuckles and adds, “They are amazing, and Emma’s almost your mini-me. They’re your clones, you workaholic highness.”

“I used to be one. I’m not sure anymore though.”

“Life is more than work. Enjoy it,” she encourages while I stare out the window watching boats gliding on the lake, swans getting out of the way.

“It’s awkward, as if I did everything backward. I dove right into responsibilities without having a youth. It was like one day I was a teenager, and the next, I was a forty-one-year-old manager-boss.”

“I’m sure this break will do you good. How are things between you and Filip?”

“I called him, and it wasn’t as bad as I expected. He’s him, great, trying. Conversation is stilted, even a bit odd, but we’ll get there.”

“Good.”

“It was difficult for Filip and you, wasn’t it? In our pain, Damien and I were selfish. We didn’t suffer alone because our selfishness hurt you both too.”

She freezes, perhaps she never thought I would broach the subject. Her eyes widen, and she stiffens, giving her feelings away even though she shrugs it off, and rushes to say, “We had each other. We coped the best we could. Is it strange if I say we’re more like brother and sister than we are with you two? I know how it sounds, but . . .”

“I understand, and I’m glad you feel this strongly for each other,” I say, then ask, “Will you be my bridesmaid?”

Relief passes in her eyes. “I thought you’d never ask. I was close to asking you myself.”

“I’m sorry. We kept babbling. Who else would I want by my side?”

“Yes, you’re right. I’m irreplaceable,” she says, clasping her wrist with the scars, sadness drowning her eyes in, and I blurt, “Will you tell me about the scars?” She presses her lips together, and I place my hand over hers.

“I . . .” she says, then pauses, shuts her eyes and lowers her head. Isn’t it fascinating how deep down we give our secrets a life of their own and acknowledging them would be the end to all the what-ifs running through our mind. The moment we would express out loud what we keep hiding, the fantasy would end. Instead, by not telling, we keep the hope alive and breathe life to our darkest, wildest desires.

“I’m here if one day you want to talk about it.” Her eyes turn glassy, and she sighs.

“I’m fine, Bria, and then second chances happen, and it’s hard.” She dabs at her eyes and puts a smile on her face, just like that, leaving me thinking what she’s talking about.

“Oh my god, you’re getting married,” she says changing the subject back to a happier one. “When do we head to London?”

“How about Friday?”

We sit for a while and reminisce, enjoying the company of the other. When I check my phone, I have several missed calls, most from Damien, from Emma, and one from my mother.

I forget how quickly time passes by. We’ve been in the coffee shop for almost two hours. We pay, rush out, and hug each other before we part.