Endless Love by Bianca Borell
Chapter Twenty-Nine
BRIA
My heart pounds in my chest, a hefty dose of guilt assaulting me. I slide the key card, and when the door clicks open, everything turns dark. Something isn’t right. I can sense it.
“You keep doing it, Bria, repeatedly,” he slurs, and I freeze.
Yesterday comes crushing back, and now today it’s us from years ago, but we’re not the same. Now, pushing the other ends with us hurting. Are we actually this incapable of normalcy? I love him, and he loves me. We both have to accept we won’t get those seven years back, but we could love each other in a reasonable way in which we could make the other understand our motives.
Wake up, Bria, you’re not eighteen, and he’s not twenty anymore. Those two innocent people vanished on your eighteenth birthday, slaughtered in a hotel room. This epiphany sends a bolt of understanding through my head because we chose to love like this—changed, altered, scarred.
“I searched for you for four hours.”
“Are you drunk?” I ask, even though the answer is evident. I walk toward the couch and slump on it, staring at him through wet lashes. He grabs his face between his hands, his hair disheveled, a portrait of pain, and continues to rant.
“I came back home and counted every one of your clothes. You played with my worst fear. What did you want to achieve? Testing me or pushing my limits? I know you like to do both, but did it cross your mind to trust me?”
I spring to my feet and shout, “Damien, I’d never leave you.”
“And what was this?” he yells back at me and points to the door.
“I wanted to push you to admit something is going on with you, and I’m not imagining things.”
“I’m only human. God, Bria . . .” He drops to his knees, breaking down. I straddle his lap and he presses me to him, and I caress his jaw.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
“You want to know? I’ll tell you as you said you wouldn’t leave me. This is your chance to prove it.”
“Damien?” My voice shakes, fear settling in my core. He slams his eyes shut, and when he opens them, the resolve behind them shows I won’t like what comes next.
“I hired security for you. You’ll never leave the house without them. Where you go, they go too.” Oh no, he didn’t, and I dig my finger in his chest.
“You can’t do that. I hate it. You know that. Why would you make me accept something like this?” His eyes bulge out, staring at me, disbelief written all over his face.
“Because you were threatened and because I need a clear head. I must also run a fucking company.”
“I don’t need a babysitter.”
“There are three.” My mouth hangs open.
“What? When? Why . . . you can’t.”
“I can, and I will. I haven’t lost you to illness, I haven’t lost you because of my stupidity. I won’t fucking lose you at the hands of a lunatic.”
I stomp to our bedroom. It’s late, but I don’t care. I pick up the phone and dial Alex.
“You knew it, didn’t you? Actually, I’m sure you planned this together.”
“Will you just calm down? We don’t have any other solution at the moment. I don’t trust an insane person. You believe you have everything under control, but you don’t. She reached you when we were all just steps away, and you’re crazy if you think either of us will just let things go. If she dares to come to you again, we’ll be ready.”
“Alex, what can she actually do? Stab me with words?”
“Bria . . .”
“Security . . . honestly, why don’t you two put me in a gilded cage instead? It would make no difference, none at all.”
“It’s for your own damn protection. Keep ranting, but it won’t change the outcome.”
“You two, I’m so angry.”
“It won’t be forever.”
My skin warms itself from all the anger and frustration building inside me. Now, I understand why the whole change in behavior. Damien was well aware it would anger me. I’m still seething as I call my therapist.
“Hello, Bria.”
“Hello, David.”
“You sound angry.”
“I am.”
“I’m listening.”
“My fiancé hired a bunch of security because he believes my cousin is a direct threat to my life.”
“How does it make you feel?”
“Angry. I hate it, and it interferes with me wanting normalcy.”
“Do you believe the threats are real?”
“I don’t know, but real or not, it’s hard to accept this situation. Who threatens her own cousin? Is it too much to ask for a break?”
“This is what the old you would want. You’re strong, and it’s perfectly fine to feel angry and helpless at times. But, remember how we handle various scenarios shows how in control of everything we are.”
Everything he said sounds logical, and I’m so focused on our conversation, the anger diminishes. It’s good to talk to him, and for the next hour, we go through all the latest events in my life. The best part, though, is telling him, and firmly believing that I can’t wait for my wedding day to say yes to Damien, and I invite him to attend.
***
After we end the call, I’m calmer and I search for Damien. The bottle of whiskey and the glass are nowhere in sight. If the light trace of alcohol didn’t still linger in the room, one could say it never happened. He’s hunched over a barstool in the kitchen with a plate of various sandwiches spread before him. Seeing this strong man with his head drooped, dark circles around his red-rimmed eyes, his hair falling over his lashes, looking defeated and tired, further diminishes my anger. I approach him, and Damien stiffens just briefly before I wrap my arms around his torso. I inhale him—manly, home—and rest my head in the crook of his neck.
I’m done fighting. It’s exhausting, and it lost the thrill it once gave us when we were younger.
As if the same thought crosses our minds, we apologize.
“I’m sorry.”
Hearing and saying it lifts the weight from us. Damien sets me between his legs and tries to feed me, but I shake my head.
“I already ate. I was hungry from all the swimming. I found this sweet Italian restaurant on the way back home. We could go there together next time. I don’t want to fight anymore.”
I say in a rush and my head hangs, and he tips my chin up, kissing me. I lock my hands around his neck as he dabs my tears away with his thumb.
“I was afraid. I’m not used to you being secretive. It was the only option I hoped would work.”
“It did.”
His lips arch into a half-smile, and I cup his face in my hands. When our eyes lock, I tell the only truth I’m certain of.
“I’ll never leave you. If it were up to me, I’d spend eternity wrapped in your arms. Damien, baby, if you saw in my heart how your name is stamped there in bold letters, there’s no me without you. I love you too much to leave. You’re afraid, but so am I. You can fight the physical threats but accept the fact we aren’t powerful enough to stand against the natural order. Let’s use our time to create memories as two crazy-in-love persons who defied everything to be together.”
Awe transforms his features. He seizes my lips into a feverish kiss I feel from a strand of hair to my little toe. Damien doesn’t just kiss me, he devours my lips. I pant by the time he takes a quick break so he can say, “You’re mine, Bria, I can’t stop fighting, baby. I have to protect what I love the most. Whatever it is, whoever dares, there are no boundaries I wouldn’t cross, no lengths I wouldn’t go just for one more kiss, one more ‘I love you,’ one more maddening moan.”
His kisses mix with his confession, and I love every second, every tingle, every caress that has me going wild. Damien lifts me and places me on the bar table, settling himself between my legs. He yanks every piece of clothing off me, allowing only his breath to warm my exposed skin. He removes my thong, pushing my back down on the marble.
He sheds his clothes, aligning himself with my center, and his skilled fingers awaken every cell of my body.
“Say you won’t question me again. I’ll never allow something bad to happen to you.”
I cup his face and brush my nose against him, whispering, as his hands travel down my arms, “I trust you.”
“Then let me take care of things my way. Give me this.”
If I agree, I’d have to accept every one of his sane or insane measures of protecting me. I raise one finger, and he growls under his breath.
“One condition,” I say.
“Which is?”
“You hold nothing back from me again, and you always discuss it with me first. It’s my life, and I will have a say in deciding something involving me.”
He nods, his lips turn into a victorious grin. He rubs himself against me as I writhe from the need and greed slowly reaching tormenting levels. His arrogant smirk gives away the fact he knows exactly what he does and is proud of it.
“Please, Damien.”
“What do you want, baby?” His hoarse voice rides from the valley of my breasts to my belly, and I toss my head from side to side.
“You in me. Now!”
With a sway of his hips, he thrusts himself inside me. I reach my release with his name pouring out of my mouth. He follows shortly, and when he stills inside me, I want to glue us together like this and never feel one inch of distance between us. My fingers slide down his back, and it dawns on me, his need to keep me safe. We are the same, too selfish to be apart from the other and bold enough to do whatever is necessary to prolong our time together.
And if we don´t get a forever, at least make our time on earth longer. When our breaths calm and our legs are steady enough, he lifts me and carries me to the bathroom.
He places us both in the tub, warm water covering us.
“Thank you for agreeing.”
“How long will I be babysat?” I ask, awakened from the sex frenzy.
“Until we figure out how to stop her from ever approaching you.”
“This could take years. You’re not serious,” I say and bash my head against his chest while he caresses my stomach.
“Baby, they won’t be there all the time. Only when you’re out. They will come inside to check once a day to make sure the alarm system and cameras work properly. I promise it won’t be that bad, and you agreed a few minutes ago.”
“Under pressure.”
He raises a brow questioning, but I kiss him.
I feel better. We found a compromise that works for both of us.
It’s like a silent promise we agree to try to be better from now on.
