Huntsman by Cambria Hebert
34
Virginia
A polite knockon my door made me smile wide, but then I realized Earth wouldn’t knock and, if for some reason he did, it wouldn’t be polite.
I grimaced a little thinking perhaps Emogen was back to read me the riot act for having a boy in my room. The thought incited a low giggle from me as I settled Zilla on my shoulder.
“Come in!” I called, still smiling a little because I had a boy in my room last night!
Okay. Not boy. Man. Earth was definitely all man.
The door opened, and Ivory walked in, looking every bit New York royalty. Not that she was even trying, but really, she didn’t have to.
She truly was the fairest of them all, even dressed down in a pair of black jeans and black suede sneakers. Tucked into the jeans, which were belted with a Chanel belt, was a fitted grey turtleneck sweater. The sleeves were sheer organza with black polka-dots that puffed out at her shoulders and a little over the knit cuffs hugging her wrists.
Her sleek black hair was pulled up into a high ponytail, and she carried a black bag. Her skin was impeccable, makeup light, but as always, her lips were the natural-to-her shade of red.
“Whoa, look at you!” Ivory exclaimed, setting aside her bag and smiling brightly at me.
I glanced down at myself and the long strapless sundress I’d pulled on after my morning routine. It was a beautiful shade of deep purple. I didn’t wear it often because of the strap thing, but since I was going out with Earth a little later, I wanted to look nice. Besides, I did a lot of upper body work in PT, so showing off my toned shoulders and arms was okay once in a while—right?
The jersey material hugged my bodice and waist, all the way down to my hips, and then the material flowed around my legs. Honestly, if I wasn’t in this chair, this dress would be too long for my short frame. But since I didn’t have to walk around, I didn’t worry about tripping over the length.
My hair was done in one massive braid down my head and back, the tail falling over my shoulder and into my lap. I clipped every blossom I had into the plait, making it look like a field of flowers.
“Does my dress look okay?” I asked.
“Beautiful.” She confirmed. “But what is really wowing is your glow! You are radiant, Virginia!”
I felt my cheeks warm under her praise. “It’s just the same old me.”
“Oh, no,” Ivory said. “You are always beautiful, but there’s something different about you today.” Pursing her bow-shaped lips, she studied me, then smiled. “This doesn’t have something to do with a certain grumpy bar owner, does it?”
I felt my eyes go wide as I leaned forward in my chair. “Did Neo tell you?”
Ivory laughed and grabbed my hands to swing my arms along with hers. “Even if he hadn’t, it would have been obvious last night.”
“I’m so sorry to worry everyone and make you all come running.” I apologized.
Ivory waved away the words with her hand as she perched on the edge of my bed. I wheeled around to face her so we could talk.
Zilla tugged a flower clip out of my hair, and it dangled out of her mouth precariously. “Zil, you know these aren’t snacks,” I told her, laughing. Taking the leopard gecko, I placed her into her habitat, making sure to take back the clip.
Re-pinning it into my braid, I turned back to my guest. I liked girl talk with Ivory. She truly was the sister I never had. I was so glad Neo made her part of this family.
And so glad Earth didn’t kill her.
If he had, everything would likely be different right now.
“Don’t worry about it. That’s what family is for.” Her blue eyes twinkled, and she leaned closer to whisper, “Besides, it was kind of exciting, wasn’t it?”
Her smile was infectious, and I found myself smiling back as both of us dissolved into giggles.
My laughter didn’t last long, though, because I was still plagued by the previous ominous thought. “Thank you,” I blurted out.
Her smile slipped a little, and her head tilted. “For what?”
“For so many things.” Surprisingly, my eyes filled with tears. This was so unexpected, this welling of emotions.
The rest of my sister’s smile faded, and she leaned forward, nearly tumbling off the bed to grasp my hand. Her skin was cool and milky white, her hands not much bigger than mine. So different from the warm, olive-toned ones I’d felt all night long.
“What’s this?” she crooned. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry.” My voice was wobbly, eyes watery. “I don’t mean to—”
She was off the bed and hugging me in an instant. Her light, fresh scent wrapped around me, and the silky strands of her hair brushed my cheek when her arms tightened.
I hugged her back, overcome by emotions I honestly didn’t know I’d been feeling. “I feel so stupid,” I confessed around a small laugh.
“Never say that,” Ivory reproached, pulling back to look into my eyes. “Whatever you feel is okay with me. You can tell me anything.”
I nodded, offering a small smile.
I wheeled closer to the bed, and Ivory helped as I transferred myself onto the mattress. When I was settled, Ivory sat beside me. Both our legs hung over the side of the mattress, no feet touching the floor.
My feet weren’t even visible because of the aforementioned too-long dress.
“I really like having a sister,” I confessed, folding my hands in my lap.
“Me too,” she replied.
“You changed everything when you came into our lives.”
She laughed lightly. “Well, meeting you all was definitely unexpected.”
Reaching across, I grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze. “It was like you woke us up. All of us. Neo was so miserable, trapped in his own guilt, and couldn’t see the future at all. We were all stuck in this holding pattern, and it was comfortable but so confining. But now there is happiness in Neo’s eyes. He smiles more, and the smiles are genuine. He’s… lighter. And though I’ve been fighting with him a lot lately, I wouldn’t even have had the courage to bring up most of what I did if it wasn’t for you.”
“I didn’t encourage you to open up to Neo. I believe that was someone else.”
My heart felt newly bruised, the center of my chest oddly sore. Letting go of her hand, I absentmindedly rubbed the spot, wanting to ease the hurt.
“That someone tried to kill you,” I whispered, not wanting to even speak the words out loud.
Her lips parted, and realization clouded her sky-blue stare. “Ahh…”
And then even more feelings were tumbling out, nearly tripping off my tongue and fighting to be heard. “If he had succeeded, then my brother would still be a miserable zombie, I would be silently miserable, Fletcher would probably still be under the thumb of that evil woman, and Beau…” I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, Beau would probably still be sitting behind his computers.”
We shared a snicker because, really, Beau hadn’t changed.
“I wouldn’t have a new fashionable brother, and I wouldn’t have you.”
“Virginia,” Ivory sniffled, reaching out her hand. I caught it and held, our attached palms resting on the bed between us.
“And Earth…” I glanced up from beneath my lashes. How could I sit and defend him or even give allowances to a man who literally tried to steal away her life?
But also… how could I not?
A look of understanding passed behind her expression, and she nodded. “I know.”
“If he’d gone through with it, he never would have stopped. He never would have fought so horribly with Neo, and I might…” She gave me an encouraging squeeze. “I might never have gotten the chance to peer into his heart.”
“I don’t blame him. I honestly never did.”
“I think you changed him most of all,” I confessed, tugging my hand back into my own lap. As grateful as I was for that, I was still the tiniest bit jealous.
It made me feel guilty, but not acknowledging that piece of me didn’t mean it wasn’t there.
“Me?” Ivory echoed.
I nodded. “I think that’s also why Neo had such a fit.”
She sighed dramatically, but under her words was the unmistakable tone of fondness. “Neo is ridiculous sometimes.”
“You got to him. Somehow got below the cold shell he lived behind. You woke his humanity, showed him that there actually was some living inside him. I think you showed him that he was capable of love.”
“I think I just threw him off balance because he tried to kill me and then I ended up sleeping on his couch.” Ivory snickered.
“He stopped killing because you made him feel.” It was hard to say. Even harder to feel.
Ivory considered my words, then said, “I made the other people around him feel, and because he cared about them, he couldn’t kill me in the end.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” I told her.
“You don’t give yourself enough.”
“Do you love him?”
“I do,” she admitted. “But as a brother and nothing more.”
I knew she would say that, but I wanted to hear it from those rose-red lips just the same. I believed her. I knew the one she truly loved was my brother.
“Do you think he loves you?”
“What do you believe?”
Glancing down into my lap, I whispered, “He told me he loved me.”
“And do you believe him?”
Thump. Thump.My heart beat slow and steady. “Yes.”
“And what about you? Do you love him?”
I lifted my head. “Yes.”
Ivory squealed and hugged me fast and tight. “I am so happy for you! I think you make a wonderful couple.”
I pulled back. “Do you really think that? Or do you think I’m crazy for loving someone who tried to kill you?”
“I just told you I loved him too.”
“But what about your stepmother?”
Ivory’s nose wrinkled. “What about that wicked woman?”
“Well… I mean, she’s the one who hired Earth, right? So she tried to kill you too. You forgave Earth. Did you forgive her also?”
She thought for a moment before shaking her head slowly. “I don’t think I can.”
“But why?”
“Because, unlike Earth, there was no slumbering humanity inside her. There is no love waiting to be set free. She succumbed to her hate long ago and killed my mother. She would have killed me if Earth and Neo hadn’t stopped her.”
“He has killed before,” I whispered.
“And we love him anyway.”
“And that’s okay.”
“Let me ask you this,” Ivory said, seeming to understand my inner struggle. Leaning in, she looked directly into my eyes. “If I told you I couldn’t love him for what he did or that you were wrong for loving him because of it, would that make you stop?”
I gasped, my very breath repelled by the idea. “No!”
She smiled. “Then questioning it is kinda useless, isn’t it? Because your love will not change.”
She was right. It wouldn’t change, and deep down, I’d already known that. I think I just wanted to make sure she knew that, though I loved him so unconditionally, I wasn’t okay with what he did. “I am sorry for what he put you through.”
“I know that, but you don’t have to be sorry because I’m not.”
“Really?”
She smiled. “It made us a family.”
A family forged by loyalty and held tight by bonds we all refused to untie. Family by choice, which oddly seemed much more powerful than blood.
I hugged her again, feeling relief I didn’t even know I needed. “Thank you for coming into our lives.”
“Thank you for coming into mine.”
“So…” She began, a sparkling glint overtaking her eyes. “Is he a good kisser?”
I felt my face heat. “How do you know we kissed?”
She made a sound. “Because I saw Neo’s and Earth’s bruises.”
I rolled my eyes. “Idiots.”
“So?” She pressed, curiosity in her stare. “Was he your first kiss?”
I nodded, shy. “Yes. And he took me to his brewery!”
Ivory gasped. “He has a brewery?”
I felt a little bit of pride that I knew all about it before everyone else, and I launched into some detail about the place Earth made his beer. And then, yeah, maybe I told her about our first kiss.
“He is so…” I sighed dramatically and collapsed back against the mattress, hands over my heart, to stare up at the ceiling. “Dreamy.”
“Ah, the power of true love’s kiss,” Ivory mused.
“Do you have that with my brother?” Then I winced and held up my hand. “But no details please. He is my brother, after all.”
Ivory’s laugh was light and melodious. “We definitely have that.”
Pushing up onto my elbows, I gazed at Ivory curiously but also shily. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“It’s, ah, personal.”
“You can ask me anything, Virginia. That’s what sisters are for.”
“What does sex feel like?”
Ivory’s expression faltered a bit, but she didn’t shy away from the question. “Are you asking me because Earth stayed here last night?”
“No. Well, I mean, yes, but we didn’t.” I felt my cheeks heat again. “I want to, but I’m worried.”
“Worried?”
I nodded. “You know, because of my condition. What if… what if he doesn’t like it?”
“What if you don’t like it?” Ivory added.
“I won’t be able to feel it anyway,” I confessed.
Ivory made a sound as if she understood. “The thing about sex is… it’s about more than just sex. Especially when you’re with someone you love.”
I nodded.
“Like I can tell you how it feels physically, but every woman likely has a different experience.”
“What’s it like for you?”
“A feeling of fullness and warmth. The feel of my body stretching around his, something moving inside me, creating a buzz of pleasure that sometimes makes everything condense to that one point where you’re both connected.”
I wouldn’t be able to experience that. I wouldn’t feel my body stretching around his. I wouldn’t be able to focus on that single point where we were joined.
A sense of loss surged over me, the same kind of feeling I often carried when I’d first lost my legs. I guess I hadn’t been able to grieve the loss of this kind of intimacy because I wasn’t aware of it yet.
“But that’s not all sex is.”
I glanced up, noting that she was watching me. “It’s not?”
“No. That’s honestly just a small part. The thing about sex with someone you love is the emotion behind it. Sharing something with that person that you don’t with anyone else. Having them right against you and looking into their eyes. The air in the room feels thick with passion, with intimacy and love. It isn’t just about inserting part A into part B.”
I laughed.
Her eyes twinkled. “Well, you asked.”
I did. I’d had a general women’s health talk with my mom when my period started but not much else. She died before we could ever have any sort of sex talk, and then after that, I’d been too busy learning other things about my body—like how to use it and how to be independent—that these things never really came up. Yes, I could ask my doctor, and from time to time, I did ask questions because I was curious about what my body was able to do. But those were clinical answers—nonpersonal. I so appreciated that Ivory would speak to me about this and not make it awkward. I knew I could talk to Earth. He’d proven it last night and then again this morning, but speaking with another woman was different.
“It’s a way to be as close as possible to someone you love.”
“Do you think he’ll like it if I can’t… move around like other women?”
Ivory leaned in. “I’ll tell you a secret. Men couldn’t care less as long as they get it.”
I slapped a hand over my mouth to stifle more laughter.
Ivory shrugged. “It’s true.”
Her eyes turned more serious. “Did your doctor say you were able to have sex?”
I nodded.
“So you’re worried you won’t be able to have an orgasm and you’ll miss out on how it feels.”
I ducked my head. “Actually, I’d always thought that, but…”
“But?”
“Last night changed my mind.”
Her blue eyes rounded. “You mean last night… Earth…?”
“We didn’t have sex, but we did other things, and I… I felt it.”
“Did you like it?”
I nodded emphatically. “It was like this building sensation. Tension built and built. Then suddenly, it all burst, and every part of me was suffused with humming warmth.”
Ivory nodded enthusiastically. “That’s exactly it. Geez, you get that even without A into B. Most women would be envious!”
“No way.” I scoffed.
“Yes!” Ivory insisted. “Believe it or not, a lot of women who have fully functioning bodies struggle with having orgasms. It’s very common. And you did it on your first try. It’s rather impressive.” She cocked her head to the side. “It was your first try?”
I was shy, but I answered anyway. “Yes.”
“I’d say you have nothing to worry about. But if you ever have any other questions, you can ask me anytime, okay?”
I glanced up from behind my hands, face and ears still flaming. “Thank you,” I said sincerely.
“Now I know the real reason behind your glow.” She teased. “Guess Earth has many talents.”
I was pretty sure my ears were about to catch on fire, and all I could do was giggle more. Earth was talented. I fell back into the mattress again, smiling wide at the ceiling.
“Truthfully, I’m glad you finally know the truth. Neo was adamant that we not tell you, but it created a divide in the family. His entire feud with Earth did. I would like very much for us all to have some harmony. For us all to be even closer.”
“You know Neo was so jealous. He thought Earth was in love with you.”
“I know. But I couldn’t tell him it wasn’t true because then it would seem like I was defending Earth, which only would have made it worse. This was something they had to work out on their own.”
“And you think they will?”
“Yes, I do. Neo loves Earth, even if he is a stubborn pig head about it. They both have so much pride, but I think they’ll finally set it aside for you.”
“For me?”
Ivory nodded. “You think I’m the one who changed this family, but you’re just as much a catalyst. You challenged Neo and Earth. They never could put their pride aside for me, but they already are for you.”
“I don’t know.” I worried. “Have you seen their faces?”
Ivory wrinkled her nose and waved that away. “How do you think I knew Earth stayed here last night?”
I paused. She did mention that, but I’d been too preoccupied to wonder how she knew. “How?”
“Neo and Earth spoke outside. We left first. Neo drove away, leaving Earth on the sidewalk… knowing he would come back up here.”
Surprise had me sitting up. Wide-eyed, I stared at Ivory. “Really?”
She smiled. “I even hugged Earth, and Neo didn’t get angry.”
My mouth fell open. But then it snapped shut. “You hugged Earth?” I never really thought I was a jealous type of girl, but the emotion kept rising from somewhere inside me.
It was senseless, I knew. Ivory was not interested in Earth, and I’d literally just confided in her about our intimate relationship. She was in love with my brother. So why would I even care she hugged him?
“He didn’t hug me back.”
My eyes lifted to hers. “What?”
“He let me hug him, but he didn’t hug me back. I bet he hugs you, doesn’t he?”
I thought of how he held me all night in this very bed, and I nodded.
“Maybe someday he will be able to.” She sighed wistfully. “Might be nice to have a hug from my brother.”
The jealousy I felt cleared away. It wasn’t very nice, but I would be a liar if I said hearing Earth didn’t hug her back didn’t make me feel giddy relief.
I want him to want only me. Just as I only want him.
“You didn’t have to tell me that,” I whispered.
“I know, but it made you feel better, didn’t it?”
Reluctantly, I nodded.
Perfectly sculpted nails painted with the most gorgeous shade of green I’d ever seen slipped over my hand, her fingers clasping my hand. “We all have emotions. We’re all human. It’s because we’re family and we try harder to understand each other. And I would never withhold an honest truth from you, especially if it makes you feel more comfortable.”
Her hand pulled back to slide over her sleek ponytail. “Besides, we aren’t cavemen like Earth and Neo, and we can actually talk and set aside our pride.”
“You’re a good sister.”
“Be confident in yourself, Virginia. Any man would be lucky to have you. Your pure heart and ability to love unconditionally makes you a very rare flower.”
A lot of the worry I’d been holding on to melted away. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like life was moving forward and the burdens of our pasts could finally be left behind.
It was a wonderful feeling.
How unfortunate it only lasted a few fleeting minutes.