Huntsman by Cambria Hebert
6
Virginia
What is it with men?
Boorish. Empty-headed. Completely ridiculous!
I mean, here I thought I was just going to be a girl today, out on her own, taking care of her own business… Free.
Nope. Earth comes in dressed in leather with a car right out of a movie and says he’s my ride. I mean, okay, I was excited. What girl always kept in a tower wouldn’t be?
Then he went and opened his mouth. No. He called my doctor a pimp!
And I thought Neo was bad.
The look on that doctor’s face… I suppressed a giggle. And really, everything Earth voiced was thoughts I’d secretly had.
The difference? I had manners and didn’t say those things out loud. Besides, it didn’t matter if the only reason I was able to see these fancy doctors was Ivory’s name. I was grateful just the same.
Earth was lucky I didn’t mow him over in my chair and all he got was a wheel over those boots. I suppressed another giggle.
Without any warning at all, the brush of warm, gentle breath tickled my ear, and the scent of stale cigarettes and bread crowded my senses. “You sure are putting in a lot of effort not to laugh.”
The whisper coated my ear like thick, sweet molasses. The lowered, slightly arrogant tone created a prickling sensation along my spine and neck. Overwhelmed, I wallowed in silence for a few long moments as I digested some of the sweetness that really should have been sour.
Finally able to shake off the way my nerves tingled, I turned, Earth pulling back so our noses didn’t collide. “You have a booger hanging out of your nose,” I told him coolly.
Caught completely off guard, his black eyes went wide and his whole upper body jerked back as his hand flew up to his face.
This time, I did laugh. There was no containing the amusement I got out of finally besting big, bad Earth.
“You lying brat,” he all but growled, his face screwed up in a scowl as his hand dropped into his lap.
“Ahh!” Laughter suddenly quelled, I gasped when my chair went flying forward. Grappling for the armrests for some sort of anchor, my hands fell over Earth’s where he had grabbed to yank me close.
The fierceness in his stare was delicious. The narrowed focus all pinned on me would have kept me in this chair even if my legs suddenly began to work again. Awareness unlike anything I’d felt before, unlike anything I’d honestly thought possible, swept through me like a sudden blaze in a dry forest, consuming literally everything in its path.
Instead of pulling away, my hands tightened around his, still gripping for that anchor, finding him perfect for the job.
If he felt my grip, he showed no notice, that forceful opaque stare never once leaving me. My throat worked with the force of my swallow, and heat burned my middle, making me want to squirm.
“You like playing games with me?” he intoned, quiet because we were so close.
Earth intimidated a lot of people. Okay, everyone. And the way he spoke and stared just now… I should have been intimidated too, but I wasn’t. His powerful aura and unexpected actions did not push me away. Oddly, they tugged me closer.
Knowing he asked a question, I wanted to answer, but words failed me.
“Miss Virginia?” A man spoke, stepping into the room and carrying a clipboard.
My head whipped around, but I could still feel the burning of Earth’s eyes.
“That’s me!” My voice was a little high-pitched, and I cleared my throat.
“Nice to meet you,” he said, coming farther into the room. He wasn’t dressed like Dr. Marks. Instead, he wore athletic pants, sneakers, and a long-sleeved gray sweatshirt. “I’m the physical therapist Dr. Marks works with, Philip Gains. You can just call me Phil.”
Stopping close by, he held out his hand, and it made me realize I was still gripping Earth. Jerking my hands away from him, I offered one to the PT along with a smile. “So lovely to meet you. I’ve heard wonderful things, and I’m grateful you took time out of your busy schedule to meet with me.”
“Well, I love my job.” Phil smiled.
Earth made a rude sound, and I shot him a warning glare, which he returned.
“And this is your brother? I spoke with you on the phone, I believe?” Philip said, ignoring our glaring contest to greet Earth.
“I’m not her brother. I’m her guardian.”
Guardian?
“Neo wasn’t able to make it today. This is, ah, his best friend, Earth.”
“Nice to meet you,” the PT said politely, offering his hand.
For a brief moment, I worried Earth would refuse the greeting, but thankfully, he shook the man’s hand.
“So I’ve already reviewed your charts and all the notes from your regular physical therapist. I have to say I’m impressed. You do a lot on a weekly basis to maintain the muscle that you have and even build new.”
“Well, we thought it might be helpful for when I”—pause—“walk again.”
Philip didn’t hang on my heavy pause or the way my voice kinda fell at the end. I was sure he’d spoken to Dr. Marks, sure he knew of the many opinions that walking was not in my future.
“Absolutely.” He agreed. “How about we go over there and you can show off those muscles?” He pointed toward the mat, bars, and other various therapy equipment I was all very familiar with.
A dark cloud slipped over me, darkening my mood as I moved across the room. It happened occasionally, perhaps more than I wanted to admit, but usually, I was good at shoving it back where it came from.
I struggled quietly for a few moments, feeling swallowed by shadows as my own self-doubt and anxiety grappled for control of my thoughts. What’s the point of even doing this? Why even meet with this man if it’s not for coming up with a post-surgery plan? You won’t walk again, V. All this physical therapy is a waste of time.
“Miss Virginia? Is everything okay?”
The unfamiliar voice cut into my thoughts, lifting my chin to focus on the therapist. He was an attractive man, probably around thirty years old with sandy hair and a lean build.
I felt more than saw Earth shift across the room, but I didn’t dare look at him. Not in that moment. I had to focus on myself just then.
“Oh yes!” I said, smiling wide. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to be rude.”
Philip knelt in front of my chair. His smile was gentle. “I’m sure the appointment with Dr. Marks was a lot to take in. And perhaps you were hoping for him to say something else.”
“Perhaps,” I echoed.
“Well, how about a good workout? It does the mind just as much good as the body.”
“Sure.” I smiled.
We went through several exercises I knew well, and Philip showed me a few techniques that were new to me that I could do on my own to keep up my strength. He praised my abilities, my strength, and even my flexibility.
I admit it was nice to hear some positive encouragement after what felt like another massive letdown. It bothered me that I was so disappointed. I thought I’d been prepared. I even expected what the doctor said today.
So why did it still hurt?
Why did hope still bloom where it should no longer exist?
How am I going to tell Neo?
That thought seemed to be my final blow, robbing me of all my concentration and muscle memory. My body sagged, bowing against the parallel bars I stood between.
“Whoa.” Philip reacted quickly, grabbing onto the white belt that had been fastened around my waist. Hoisting me up by it, he helped support my weight as my arms shook and struggled to support the rest of me. “You tired?” he asked.
“I-I’m sorry. I lost focus.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” He reassured me. Releasing the belt, he palmed my waist, guiding my body upright between the two bars. My ankles and lower legs were locked into braces to help offer support, and I had one hand on each bar so I could “walk” between them.
“Find your balance,” Philip instructed. “Focus on the Y-ligament.”
I did as he instructed, letting my hips bow forward, then catching my weight when they went far enough. My arms still shook, and part of me was still thinking of Neo. Of telling him that I wouldn’t walk.
He’d want to call another specialist. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.
I was tired.
My arms sagged again, my body falling off-center.
Philip caught me but this time with his body and not by catching the support belt around me. My whole chest collided with his, and my face flamed with embarrassment. My natural instinct was to push away, to scramble back so he wasn’t in my personal space.
I couldn’t.
My body didn’t work like that even when it wanted to. Even when my instincts told my lower half to do something, my body didn’t respond. The message receptors—the nerves that carried those messages to and from my brain—didn’t work anymore.
They never would again.
So I stood there slumped into a therapist I’d just met, arms trembling, body and mind exhausted. Tears burned behind my eyes, and I blinked furiously to keep them back. The frustration of being at the will of someone else to give me my personal space back would not make me cry.
I grappled for the bars to try and push up. “I got you,” Philip assured me, and the muscles in the back of my neck bunched.
A rumble rolled through the room, and then I was being drawn back, my entire body tensing even more as I moved without any control.
“Getting a little handsy, wouldn’t you say, doc?” Earth intoned, his arms wrapping around my waist, drawing me away from the therapist.
“I’m just doing my job,” Philip replied. “Unless you would prefer I let her fall?”
My whole body quivered from the effort, a fine sheen of sweat across my forehead. “Give me your weight, sprite.” Earth coaxed gently. “I won’t let you fall.”
“You are not trained in this. Let me do my job.” Philip stepped forward.
I released my weight to Earth, my breath catching as I felt myself go boneless. The arms already around me tightened, and my entire back became supported by his front. The instant relief that coursed through me was startling but so welcome. Like a rainbow painting a previously gray sky with color.
I sighed.
“Just relax a second.” Earth encouraged.
Above my head, his voice echoed much harder, much grumpier than he’d just spoken to me. “Don’t you think you’re pushing her too much? What kind of place is this? She almost fell!”
“I can assure you that all we’ve been doing here today are things she is capable of. Sometimes these things happen. It’s normal.”
“Letting a girl fall into your body and holding her there is normal,” Earth’s voice was low and calm. Deadly.
All the relaxation I’d allowed evaporated, and I straightened my shoulders. “Earth,” I warned. “This was all my fault. I wasn’t concentrating, and it caused me to fall. Phil didn’t do anything that I’m normally able to do without issue.”
I could practically hear his teeth grind in his effort not to argue. Against my back, his heart beat uncontrollably.
“I think we should call it a day. You did well. Your body needs a break,” Philip suggested. He was much more reasonable and calmer in the face of Earth versus Dr. Marks.
I nodded once.
“I’ll assist you in taking off those braces,” the man said, taking a tentative step closer.
I nodded again.
“I’ve got eyes on you,” Earth said, his voice creating a chill in the room.
“Go sit down,” I told him.
Philip helped me to stand, and Earth moved to the other side of the bars, crossing his arms over his chest to glare at us.
“Just ignore him,” I whispered to Philip.
“You sure that’s not your bodyguard?”
I laughed lightly.
Once I was back in my chair, braces and belt removed, I sank back gratefully, feeling more exhausted than I liked. “I apologize,” I told Philip. “I can usually handle much more.”
“It’s perfectly normal.” He reassured. “Change of location, your appointment with the doctor, travel to get here… all of these things are connected. I can still tell what great shape you are in. Just do those few new things I showed you, and you’ll see even more improvement.”
I nodded.
“And if you’d like to have another session—”
“No.”
Both Philip and I turned to stare at Earth.
“No?” I echoed.
“Thanks, but no thanks, doc.”
“I’m offended that you would challenge my integrity and appropriateness with a patient,” Philip told him.
“I don’t give a damn if you’re offended.”
“Earth, please,” I said, voice weary.
His dark stare shifted to me, the stoniness there crumbling into something a little softer. “You ready to go?”
I nodded.
“Thank you again. I will be sure to tell my brother what a great help you were today.”
“My pleasure. If you have any questions or would like to meet again, just call my office and we will set something up.”
Thankfully, Earth said nothing as he wrapped his hands around the handles of my wheelchair. My arms still quivered lightly as the therapist left the room, and the second he was gone, I let my core relax to slump even more into the chair.
“You’re just as bad as Neo,” I muttered, rubbing my forehead with my hand.
He made a rude sound. “Now I know why he warned me about the physical therapists. They all perverts like this?”
I gasped, rotating to stare up at him. “They are not perverts! Is that what Neo said?”
“Sure looked like he was enjoying you pressed up against him,” Earth muttered, voice dark.
I felt my cheeks grow hot. “Then what would you have me do, fall on the floor?”
His eyes cut down, searing me with their intensity. “Next time, call for me.”
“And if you aren’t here?”
His eyes slid away, his jaw like granite. “Let’s go.”
Settling back in the chair, I didn’t argue about letting him push me. Truthfully, I was still exhausted. My arms felt like limp noodles.
Enclosed in the small elevator alone, my leg jolted, shoe smacking against the footrest.
My reaction was more in annoyance than that of surprise. I’d hoped this wouldn’t happen, but really, I should have known better.
It jerked up again, and then the other made a similar movement. Panicked, Earth hit the floor in front of me, hands hovering over my legs, eyes wide with worry.
“I-I thought you couldn’t move your legs!” he exclaimed. “What’s happening? What’s wrong. Goddamn that doctor! I knew he was a quack.” His head snapped up, eyes narrowing into small crescent moons while menace literally vibrated from his pores. “I’ll kill him.”
A light shiver ran down my spine, and even though I only felt it halfway, I was sure it continued down into the parts I couldn’t feel.
“It’s okay.” I quickly tried to assure him. He’d never seen this before. He didn’t know. Of course he would worry.
He didn’t seem to hear, his eyes wild but also focused, lips set in a thin line.
“Earth,” I called, voice forceful.
Attention became all mine as I held his dark gaze. “It’s just muscle spasms. It’s normal.”
His brow creased, drawing together his thick dark eyebrows. “Normal?”
His hands still hovered, so I took one, guiding it down just above my knee. He stared down at where I encouraged him to hold, fingers lax until my muscles spasmed again, jerking and shaking.
I saw rather than felt his grip tighten. His sharp intake of breath filled the elevator, and his chin lifted. “Does that hurt?” he demanded, and I couldn’t help but wonder…
“What if I said it does?”
An ominous growl rumbled through his chest, and I briefly wondered if he was animal or man.
Leg still jumping, I reached down to cover his hand with mine. Both our arms bobbed up and down as they basically rode the ride my body gave them. “It doesn’t hurt.”
“Why?” he asked, watching them bounce.
The elevator sprang open, revealing what I just realized to be an intimate moment to the couple standing on the other side of the doors.
Feeling the change in me, Earth spun, his hand pulling from beneath mine as he stood with so much grace that a piece of me ached.
His body was firmly planted in front of me, hiding all of what he could from prying eyes. The doors started to close, but he slapped a hand against them, forcing them back. “What are you looking at?” He challenged.
Did he not know how to have a regular conversation with anyone?
My legs were still shaking, and it took effort for me to place them back on the footrests. “Earth? Can you help?”
Immediately he came behind me, nudging my chair out into the hallway between the couple who’d parted.
“Have a wonderful day!” I told them as we passed.
Outside, the sun was bright, and I was eager to soak in some of its warmth. “Can we maybe sit over there for a few minutes?” I asked, pointing to a small sitting area with a bench and some potted flowers that were just past the awning so it was in the sun.
He said nothing but directed us there, stopping my chair right in front of the bench, leaving only enough space for him to sit down beside me.
My legs spasmed some more, the steady jolts lessening already. “It usually doesn’t last very long,” I told him.
“Why?” He echoed the question he’d asked in the elevator.
“I’m paralyzed from the lower waist down,” I explained, and he nodded. “So I can’t feel or move my legs at all, but they can move themselves.”
Earth frowned but nodded as if he wanted to know more.
“The muscles spasm sometimes. Mostly in cases when they are overworked or just tired. Sometimes in cases of stress.”
“That doctor overworked you.”
I giggled. “Stop blaming it all on the therapist. It just happens. The spasms can actually be good because it’s kinda like a workout for the muscles, you know? I just did a lot today, and now my muscles are letting me know.”
“Does it happen a lot?”
“Sometimes. I guess not that often.”
“I don’t like it,” he whispered.
My heart pinched at that. There wasn’t pity in his voice. There wasn’t even disgust or anxiety. It was almost like he just… didn’t want me to hurt.
“It really doesn’t hurt,” I assured him.
“Really?”
I smiled, a small lump forming in my throat. He really is worried.
I nodded eagerly. “Every once in a while, I’ll get a burning sensation or like a phantom pain and that can be uncomfortable, but this doesn’t hurt.”
“I didn’t know,” he muttered, sitting back against the bench, gazing off into the opposite direction.
“There was no reason for you to know about muscle spasms.”
He made a noise. After a moment, he turned back to me. “Neo said you would walk again.”
Oh. I’d realized and then forgotten what a shock that appointment must have been. Neo likely didn’t think Earth would sit in on it. The truth was Neo didn’t often think about what I wanted. He thought he knew.
“Neo is very determined.”
“What about you?”
I blinked, slightly startled. Suddenly, the sun felt a little warm on my cheeks. Like it was shining a spotlight on me, making it easier for Earth to see. Instead of answering, I let the question soak in. I sort of reveled in it for a bit. Lifting my face toward the sky, I shut my eyes and breathed.
“Virginia.”
Keeping my face upturned, eyes closed, I answered, “No one’s really ever asked me that before.”
“No?”
“No, everyone just assumes they know what I need, that all I could want is to walk again. That I just want to forget that day.”
“But that’s not what you want, is it?”
I shook my head.
“Tell me. Tell me what you want.”
Tucking my chin, I raised my lashes to regard him. I hadn’t seen him in months, and before that, when I did, it was always light and fun. Quick visits in the presence of the rest of the family. It was never just me and Earth. Alone. It was never just the weight of his engulfing stare, the totality of his attention. When he was around, his presence could never be denied, but now… now it was all I felt.
And I found myself wanting to tell him. Wanting to open up in a way I never allowed before. My deepest thoughts and desires were just that—mine. They were personal longings I thought no one could understand, that perhaps no one would even want to understand.
I was falling into his eyes. Into the endless black galaxy he offered in just a quiet stare. As if there were enough room in that darkness for not just him but me too.
“I want a life of my own,” I confessed, voice cautious.
I’m trusting you with the wishes I hold deepest in my heart.
“It doesn’t really matter if it’s in this chair or out of it. I just want to have a life that is mine, one that isn’t just about trying to walk again. Where I don’t have to—” I pressed my lips together. I wouldn’t say that out loud. Ever.
“Don’t have to what?”
I shook my head. Some things I’ll keep to myself.
“I just want to stop wishing for a better future. It’s okay if I don’t walk again, you know? It’s not ideal, but I can accept it. I want to stop waiting for my life to start… I mean, I’m already living, so why does it feel like everything around me moves but I’m stuck on pause?”
I waited, but he said nothing. Surprisingly, his silence felt oddly comfortable. Maybe because he didn’t offer fake apologies or try to pretend he could understand. He just listened carefully to the confession I had never voiced out loud without trying to drown out its importance with the sound of his own voice.
I didn’t know how badly I needed that. How incredible it was for someone just to hear.
And so we sat in the silent sunshine, the spasms in my legs waning, taking with them a little of the heaviness I’d been bravely carrying all alone in my heart.