Unexpected Lovers Box Set by J.B. Heller

PRESENT DAY

“You’re having a baby?How did that even happen?” Kinsley, my former roomie, asks. She’s staring wide-eyed at my last remaining roommate, Emory.

I snort at Kins. “Well, you see, a man inserts his penis—”

Her palm slams over my mouth, and her cheeks flame. “I know the mechanics, Len. You don’t have to give me a play-by-play.”

Emory laughs and shakes her head at us as Kins squeals, yanking her hand away. I smirk at her.

“Eww, you licked me! You’re so gross. Who knows where your tongue has been.” Kins groans and pulls a little bottle of hand sanitizer from her purse.

I roll my eyes and mutter, “Drama queen.”

“Alright, you two, back to me,” Em says with a clap of her hands.

Kins and I turn to face her, then my eyes drop to her flat stomach. “You sure there’s a kid in there?”

Em produces a grainy black-and-white photo from her pocket and hands it to me.

I arch a brow as I examine the picture. “What exactly am I looking at?”

“That little blob in the center there.” She points then says, “That’s my baby . . .”

I gape. “It already has arms and legs! Oh my God,” I gasp, taking a closer look at the picture. “Is it sucking its thumb? How far along are you? And why are you only just telling us now?”

“Show me that,” Kins demands, snatching the photo from me.

Em nibbles on her bottom lip before saying, “The doctor told me that it’s really common to miscarry early on in a pregnancy. So, I did a bunch of reading on it, and one in four pregnancies doesn’t make it to term. It freaked me right the hell out. Bash and I talked about it and decided we’d keep it between us until I was past the danger zone.”

“Okay, I get that, but I mean, it’s us, Em. You can tell us anything. What’s said in the apartment stays in the apartment. It’s like the cone of silence up in here,” I say, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I knew you were lying about making a sobriety bet with Sebastian.”

Em grins. “I thought for sure you guys would be onto me when I started drinking sparkling grape juice instead of wine.” She chuckles. “And yeah, bub’s sucking its thumb. How crazy is that?”

I eye her tummy again. “So how big is it then? ‘Cause I can’t tell by looking at you.”

“I’m just over twelve weeks, so it’s about the size of a plum.” She lifts her hand, making a circle with her thumb and pointer finger.

“Wow,” Kins breathes, her gaze going from the picture she’s still holding to Em’s hand.

And that’s when it hits me. Emory is having a baby; she’s going to move out. I’ll be left in this huge apartment on my own. I only see Kins once, sometimes twice a week since she moved out, and she only moved a few floors above me.

“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Kins asks.

Swallowing, I meet her concerned eyes then shift my gaze to Emory. “So, I guess this means you’re moving out then?”

Understanding washes over her features, and she comes to sit beside me on the big couch then throws her arms around me. Em is a hugger, and despite myself, I love that about her.

“Bash found a place on the fifth floor. We can move in at the end of next month. I’ll only be two floors away,” she says. “We’ll all still be in the same building.”

Well, that’s something, I suppose.

Kinsley joins in on the hugging action, coming in from my other side and curling her arms around both Em and me. Emotion clogs my throat, and I do everything possible to keep it from overflowing from my stupid, stingy eyes.

I am not a touchy-feely person. I’m a hardcore, badass ballbuster. But these girls…they’re like sisters to me. We’ve been friends since kindergarten, and the thought of life pulling us in different directions is too much to even think about.

Instead, I relax into their embrace, resting my head on Em’s shoulder and wrapping an arm around Kins’ back.

The door to our apartment flings open, and my brother strides in. “Whoa,” he says, his eyes widening at the sight of us. “If you guys are about to start making out or something, I’m totally down for that. But, Lenny, you’re gunna have to leave ‘cause I ain’t into incest.”

He’s met with three sets of glaring eyes.

“What’d I say?” he says, holding his palms in front of him.

“You’re disgusting,” Kins tells him as she gets to her feet.

Emory, having like a hundred brothers, doesn’t even flinch.

Kins turns her back on Bates to face Em and me. “I’ve gotta go. Arlo has an awards ceremony tonight.”

“Aww, look at you being stepmom of the year,” I joke.

She just rolls her eyes. “I’ll see you guys later,” she mutters on her way out.

Bringing my attention to my brother, I ask, “What are you even doing here? And who gave you a key?”

He waggles his thick, bushy eyebrows. “I ran into Emmy today, and she said you’re going to be on the hunt for new roomies soon. So, here I am.”

I shoot Em a what-the-fuck look.

She shrugs. “What? You will be.”

“I’ll be fine on my own, thanks,” I tell Bates.

He waves me off and heads for the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “Which one is mine?” he calls back.

“None!” I yell at the same time as Em calls, “First on the right.”

I glare at her. “What are you doing? He can’t have Kins’ old room.”

“Why not? She’s been gone for, like, five months.”

Before I can respond, Bates reappears. “I’ll take it,” he declares.

Grinding my teeth together, I scowl between him and Em. “You can’t have it,” I finally say.

Bates smiles widely at me then shoots Em a wink. “Thanks for giving me the heads up. I’ll start moving my stuff in over the weekend.”

Then, the big bastard leaves like he didn’t just drop a massive bomb on me and my carefully structured life.

“Tellme why you’re moving in with Lenny again?” I say to Bates as we sit on his massive couch in his mini-mansion of a bachelor pad, drinking beers and eating chips while watching ESPN.

“Because,” he says with a shrug, “Kins moved out. And Emmy’s got a bun in the oven, so she’s moving in with her baby daddy soon, and Len will be all by herself. She acts tough, but she’s not. Not really, like deep down. Lenny’s like a marshmallow.”

I pause, a chip just about to enter my mouth, and turn to face him. “A marshmallow?” I ask with a raised brow.

“Yeah, like a roasted one that you’ve burnt on the fire. It’s all ugly and crusty on the outside, but if you can get past that, you get the reward of the soft, gooey, and sweet center.”

I hate to agree with Bates’ messed-up logic, but that’s kind of the perfect analogy for Len. After popping the chip into my mouth, I chew thoughtfully. “Okay, so why not have her move in here? Your place is bigger. It’d make more sense for her to come to you than you going to her.”

Bates snorts. “Yeah, as if I’d be able to convince her to move in with me. She’s stubborn and all ‘I’m an independent woman.’” He says that last part in a terrible, high-pitched impersonation of his sister. “She’d never go for it. So, I’m going to her.”

“Why can’t she just get another roommate?”

My best friend looks at me like I’ve lost my damn mind.

“What?” I ask, frowning at the thunderous look in his eyes.

“You expect me to be okay with some random moving in with my little sister? What if she let some ax-murdering psycho take Kins’ old room? Or a sociopathic narcissist? Hell no. Not on my watch,” he says.

I burst out laughing. “Do you even know what those words mean? Have you been googling Craigslist horror stories again?”

He launches for me, but I’m already off the couch and running for my life.

“Come back here, you condescending asshole!” Bates roars after me.

“Ohh, look at you with the big wor—”

His body collides with mine as he tackles me. We hit the wall then tumble to the ground, knocking the wind from my lungs. It takes approximately three seconds for me to tap out. “I give, I give!” I call, smacking my palm against the floorboards.

“As you should, fucker,” he says, pushing to his feet then offering me a hand.

I take it, and we amble along the hallway and return to the couch. Our beer bottles are tipped over on the floor, amber liquid pooling on the cream rug beneath the coffee table.

“Ah shit,” Bates grumbles. “Tia’s going to have a bitch fit over this,” he says, bending to pick up the now empty bottles.

“Your housekeeper?” I ask.

He nods. “Yeah, she lost her shit at me last week after the little soiree I threw. My guests may have left a little bit of a mess . . .”

I scoff. “A little bit? Bates, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say there were bras, underwear, and booze strewn from one end of this place to the other. It’s a miracle she hasn’t quit yet.”

His brows furrow as he turns away from me to dump our empties in the trash. I follow my unusually quiet friend. I perch myself on a barstool as he wanders to the fridge, pulls out two fresh brewskies, and pops the tops with his teeth, frowning the whole time.

“Am I missing something?” I ask when he hands me a bottle.

He shakes his head then takes a long pull from his beer, swallowing half the bottle in one go.

“Dude,” I say, “what’s going on in that big head of yours? You’re all pensive and shit. It’s weirding me out.”

“Fuck off,” he mutters before finishing the last of his drink. “I’m just thinking. That’s all.”

I nod and remain silent, leaving him to his thoughts. Bates is a big dude with a big heart. He’s the life of the party in any situation, but every now and then, he gets introspective. It’s a side of himself he doesn’t let many see.

“Alright, man, I’m out. I got shit to do,” I tell him. I don’t really, but he clearly has something on his mind. I drain the rest of my beer then get to my feet. “I’ll catch you at training tomorrow.”

I leave Bates’ place with heavy thoughts of my own taking root in my mind. Lennon had two roommates. One’s already left, and the other will be gone in a couple of weeks, which means there will be a spare room . . .