When Life Happened by Jewel E. Ann

Chapter Seventeen

“Tell me how you feel.” Parker tugged Gus’s arm before he opened the door.

They had to get back to the party before he broke his promise not to have sex with Parker. Given what he just did to her, intercourse was not a big deal. At least that was a guy’s perspective.

“I feel like a fucking elated disaster.”

She blinked, looking down as her posture sagged. “That’s an interesting way to feel.”

“I have to end my marriage officially.”

“You don’t have—”

Gus cut her off with an adamant head shake. “I need you to remember that my marriage ended long before you came into the picture. Even the times Sabrina and I have had sex over the past few months, it’s been nothing more than trying to resuscitate something that’s too far gone. But there’s still a part of me that feels like a failure.”

He cupped the back of her head and kissed her forehead. “I don’t feel guilty for how I feel about you or what just happened here, but I feel guilty for dragging you into my mess. I am a prick who said inappropriate things to you and did things that are despicable. My anger at my life—my wife—came out on you. Fuck …” He laughed while shaking his head. “I couldn’t think straight. One minute I wanted you to hate me so you would run and protect yourself from me, and then next minute I just wanted you. And I didn’t give a damn about the rest of the world. I’ve made you feel guilty and bad about yourself, and for that I am truly sorry.”

She hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder. “You are the worst, and I’ve never met anyone more inappropriate. My standards should be so much higher.”

“But?” he said slowly.

Her lips pressed to his neck. “That’s it. No buts.”

Gus leaned back, inspecting her through narrowed eyes. “I’m the worst and most inappropriate person you’ve ever met and the only reason you’re giving me the time of day is because your standards are low?”

“Don’t fixate on how pathetic we are.” She grinned, slipping her hands into his back pockets. “Besides …” Her smile faded. “I’m still not convinced you’re not going to break my heart.”

Releasing a heavy sigh, he turned and opened the door. “You’re too busy busting my balls all of the time; my ego’s too damaged to break your heart. Now, let’s go crack open the piñata.”

*

“Where have youbeen?” Gus’s dad rested his hand on Gus’s shoulder as he walked into the tent a few minutes before Parker, who needed to thank the caterer’s on the Westmans’ behalf.

“Oh, you know…” Gus took a swig of beer as he watched Sabrina across the room throw her head back in laughter, clearly not missing him a bit “…feeding the dog, trimming my nose hair, and beating the shit out of the piñata.”

Gerald laughed. “Can I give you some advice, Son?”

Gus felt sure it wouldn’t help his situation at that moment, but he wasn’t ready to tell anyone about his intentions until he had a chance to talk with Sabrina. He may have been despicable, but a part of him still cared for the woman he married.

“Go for it, Dad.”

“Find happiness.”

Gus’s thoughts froze. He scratched his temple. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“You’re miserable. I’ve watched the life drain out of my boy for months now. You were our kid who always had a smile on his face. Something has broken your spirit. If it’s something between you and Sabrina, then fix it.”

“Fix it,” Gus repeated, void of all emotion.

Gerald leaned in closer, lowering his voice. “You. Fix you.”

A numbness blanketed Gus. “I’m trying,” he whispered past the emotions bearing down on his chest.

After a firm squeeze on the shoulder, Gerald walked away. Sabrina’s eyes met Gus’s, and her smile fell off her face like his mere existence robbed every ounce of her happiness. He grabbed another beer and made his way to his wife and her group of friends, not a one that he’d ever met.

Sabrina’s jaw clenched as he approached, and when the two couples next to her looked from Gus back to her, she gave them a painfully fake smile.

“Sabrina, introduce me to your friends. Sorry, I’ve been MIA, some pranksters put up a piñata in our tree. The only way to get it down was to beat the shit out of it.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of candy. “Candy, anyone?”

“We’re good, August,” Sabrina gritted behind her smile, which was nothing more than her lips curling like an attack dog. “Everyone, this is my husband, August.”

He turned and shook hands with the two overdressed couples. They looked him up and down a few times before formulating their own fake smiles that seemed to be sympathy smiles for his poor wife.

“Did you get dessert, August? He has such a sweet tooth.” Sabrina faked a laugh.

Gus’s lips twisted as he cocked his head to the side. “Uh … yes. I did. Parker made sure I got my fix.”

“Parker is my domestic assistant.” Sabrina managed to form a genuine smile when mentioning Parker’s name. “She planned everything.”

Everyone nodded, and they too found genuine smiles. Gus couldn’t begrudge his wife’s domestic assistant. He too was very fond of every single inch of her.

“In fact, August, you should check on Parker. I messaged her over fifteen minutes ago asking her to bring me a light sweater.”

“Good idea. I’d be happy to look for Parker. Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming.” He nodded to their guests and made his way to the house.

Rags jumped up from his bed when Gus walked in, but then plopped back down as if he’d wasted his excitement on the wrong person. Parker wasn’t in the kitchen, so he went upstairs. The light was on to their bedroom.

“Parker?”

Standing in the middle of their bedroom with her back to him, she turned slowly. Her body shook like the room was a deep freezer.

“What’s wrong—”

Gus stopped, his feet unable to take another step as his pulse shot up with panic. The bomb-strapped-to-the-chest look on her face sucked the air from his lungs.

Swollen, red eyes.

Tear-stained cheeks.

Quavering lower lip.

“You just broke m-my heart,” she whispered.

“Jesus, Parker, what are you talking about?” He managed to move his legs again, just barely.

She eased opened her hands fisted at her chest, revealing a pregnancy test.

He shook his head, taking the last few steps between them. “I … where did you get this?”

Her brow pulled tighter. Gus didn’t think she could look any more pained. He was wrong.

“I was looking for…” she swallowed and sucked in a shaky breath “…Sabrina’s sweater.”

He eased it from her hand. The display window was blank. “Has it been used?”

Parker shook her head.

“She’s not pregnant.”

Bloodshot eyes shot up to meet his gaze. “How can you say that?”

Gus continued to shake his head, willing the whole fucking nightmare to disappear. “Because—”

“NO!” Parker sobbed and yelled at the same time, running her hands through her hair. “You don’t get to make up some excuse for this. You fucked her. You told me you fucked her!”

Every word hit hard and true. Gus couldn’t undo his past, but he could hold on to his future—his happiness. “Parker, listen—”

“No! No more Parker. No more listening to you. I choose the wrong guy every time and it stops now.” She shoved him enough to throw off his balance.

He used the wall to right himself and lunged for her, grabbing her arm before she got to the bedroom door.

“Let. Go,” she growled.

He grabbed her shoulders and shoved her toward the bathroom, and she tried to wriggle out of his hold.

“Let me go!” She fell into the wall as he released her and shut the door behind him. “Locking me in the bathroom with you won’t change anything.”

He leaned against the door and crossed his arms over his chest. “Look in the trash.”

“Move, Gus!”

Her efforts to shove him aside were met with his refusal to let her go mixed with desperate fear of losing his happiness. She’d have to kill him to get past him.

“Look in the trash.”

“I’m not looking in your stupid trash!”

“Then I’m not moving.”

She bared her teeth as a vein in her forehead popped to the surface. “Fine. Then I walk out and you never contact me again. If that means I have to move, then I’ll move.”

Gus swallowed hard. His eyes widened under furrowed brows. A painful tightness in his throat made it difficult to breathe. In one month Parker Cruse slammed into his life, shaking his entire existence, magnifying his misery, and cracking open the door to the freedom he needed.

After a few moments of silent, unbearable tension, Parker sighed, directing her gaze to the trash. She chewed on the inside of her cheek for another few painful moments, then she pressed the toe of her shoe to the bottom of the stainless steel bin and the lid popped open revealing wadded toilet paper and tampon wrappers.

“She’s not pregnant,” Gus whispered.

Parker kept her lifeless gaze on the trash. “It doesn’t matter.”

“The hell it doesn’t!” He hated the wall she’d built between them.

“I can’t see past the ‘desire.’ And it’s going to ruin me.” Regret-filled eyes shifted to meet his as she moved to Sabrina’s vanity. “I have to fall in love with my eyes open this time.” She unzipped one of the pockets of Sabrina’s toiletry bag. “And maybe it’s none of my business, but you need to open your eyes too.” Parker tossed the condoms onto the vanity counter.

Gus blinked trying to focus. He hadn’t purchased condoms in years. Thoughts scrambled to make sense, desperate to glean something that made sense. For a moment he closed his eyes, feeling a bit lightheaded.

“I’m sorry.” Parker’s words echoed as if she were miles away.

His body jerked, taking a few steps forward, fighting for balance as she turned the doorknob and pulled open the door. Every bit of strength and fight he had wobbled like the rest of him.

When he squeezed his eyes shut, he saw Sabrina on their wedding day, Sabrina in bed wrapped around his body, and long walks at Grey’s Lake hand-in-hand with Rags tugging them in every direction. He’d been so blind. Him. When Gus opened his eyes to an empty bathroom and a sharp image of condoms on the counter, he turned and ran after Parker.

“Parker?” Sabrina called from downstairs. “Gus?”

Parker was halfway to the stairs when Gus covered her mouth with his hand before she could answer. He dragged her into the guest bedroom and farther back to the walk-in closet they used for storage. Her moans remained muffled behind his hand as her eyes bulged, fingernails digging into his arm.

“Shhh…” he whispered in her ear. “Give me two minutes, then I’ll let you go. Please, two minutes.”

Her eyes darted side to side a few times before she gave him a slow nod. An inch at a time, he moved his hand from her mouth and threaded both of his hands into her hair. Parker grabbed his forearms, but she didn’t fight him. Instead, with one blink tears ran down her cheeks.

Gus leaned down until his lips hovered a few inches from hers. “I love you.”

She pinched her eyes shut and tried to shake her head, biting her lips together.

“Yes, I do. You can tell me what to call you. You can make a million snarky comments about my age. You can break the news of my wife’s affair. But you cannot tell me I can’t love you. That’s my choice, and I choose to love you because it’s all I want to do.” His emotion-choked voice struggled to keep to a whisper. “I don’t give a damn about those condoms. That’s not my life. So if you thought I would explode into some rage of jealousy, you were wrong. I don’t want to fight with Sabrina. I don’t want to beat up some guy she’s sleeping with. I just …” He pressed his forehead to hers as she shook with silent sobs. “I just want you.”

Parker surrendered. She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried more. He held her tightly to him, not wanting to let her go or let her think a second beyond that moment. “You’re a horrible, heartbreaking old man, Gus Westman.”

A smile pulled at his lips. “I am. But you love me, right?”

She inched back, sniffling and blinking the tears from her long lashes. “Against my better judgment, but …”

“But?” He grinned.

Her lips fought for a tiny bit of hope with the slightest curl. “Yes,” she whispered.

“Yesss …” He beamed, kissing her until he felt certain the only thing holding her up was his arms around her waist.

When they came up for breath, a touch of sadness stole her features again. “Don’t,” he whispered over her lips. “Don’t give me that look like you’re waiting for something bad to happen. Give me three days to work through everything with Sabrina before she leaves town again. Then come away with me.”

“I …” She shook her head. “I can’t leave with you. My family will never understand how this happened. Not after Caleb and Piper.”

“Then don’t tell them. Not now. Tell them you’re going with friends or to check out a job, or whatever, but just … come away with me. Just for a few days. You, me, no clothes.”

Parker laughed. “Such a guy.”

“Your guy.” He bit her lower lip then ran his tongue over it. “Come with me.”

She nodded. “Three days and if I haven’t heard from you, I’m hooking up with Dr. Blair again, and you’re still going to rewire my house for free.”

“Three days. I’ll knock Dr. Stinky Feet on his ass if he steps foot onto your property. And I’ll rewire your house after I spend a week buried inside of you.” He kissed her again, leaving her breathless one last time before the longest three days of his life. “Now, go home. I’ll deal with Sabrina.”

With a dazed nod, Parker released him and took two steps before turning back around. “Are you going to tell her?”

“Tell her what?”

“That you know about the condoms?”

Their words were still nothing more than whispers.

Gus nodded toward the master bedroom. “She’s probably already been in there and seen them on the counter.”

Parker’s eyebrows gathered together. “Are you going to tell her about us?”

The blank, indifferent look on her face gave away nothing. Gus wanted to do right by Parker, to make up for all the wrong that he’d done. “Yes. So … you’re out of a job.”

A hint of a smile graced her face. “Three days.” On a slow turn, happiness walked away.