When Life Happened by Jewel E. Ann

Chapter Nine

“So why is the dog here?” Janey asked.

“Jeez, Mom, I told you he stayed here last night after the storm, and when I finished at the Westmans’ this afternoon, he followed me to the gate and wouldn’t stop barking. So I brought him here until Gus gets home. I think he likes me.” She cleared her throat. “The dog … that is.”

Janey sniffled with a wrinkled nose as Parker handed her a glass of iced tea. “He’s already triggering my allergies. My throat and ears are a little itchy too.”

“Good thing you don’t live here, huh?” Parker grinned her signature clenched-teeth smile that she reserved for her mom.

“I suppose.” Janey coughed after one sip of the tea. “Sugar? Really, Parker? You don’t need sugar in your tea.”

“My house. My tea.”

Her mom took another sip that ended with a sour face. “What do you think of August Westman?”

Parker choked on her tea. “W-what do you mean?”

“Your dad thinks he’s a nice guy, but he doesn’t know him that well, and he says that about everyone. What do you think?”

She thought he was married. That’s all she needed to think, all she needed to remember. Otherwise, thoughts of his tented shorts, toned legs, and the gaze that lingered on her breasts made everything south of her navel all warm and tingly.

“He’s nice.”

“You see much of him?”

Parker took another sip of tea and swallowed hard as she nodded. “I’ve seen enough of him.”

“Since his wife’s gone so much, you should offer to make him dinner sometime.”

Rags cocked his head to the side as if he, too, thought it was a good idea. Parker sat in the kitchen chair across from her mom, bringing a knee to her chest with her heel propped on the edge of the seat. When she glanced out the window, the white Westman Electric van pulled onto the blacktop driveway next door. The idea of his nearness made her uneasy in an inappropriate yet thrilling way.

“Mom, I’m not sure making dinner for a married man while his wife is out of town is the best idea.”

“Parker Joy.” Janey sighed. “Why do your dirty thoughts always jump to sex? Get your mind out of the gutter, young lady. I raised you better than that.”

“Sorry, I guess Caleb screwing Piper kinda left my mind in the gutter.”

With a frown, Janey slowly shook her head. “That was different and you know it.”

“Different? Yeah, you’re probably right. I don’t think Piper made him dinner first. Had she done that, then they probably wouldn’t have had sex because she can’t cook worth shit. They both would have been on the pot all night.”

Before her mom could jump to Piper’s defense, Rags barked at the knock on the door and ran toward it.

“That’s probably Gus. I texted him about Rags. Please behave, Mom.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Parker declined to answer before her bare feet slapped across the wood floor to the door. “Hey.” She contoured her lips into a nervous smile.

“Parker.” Gus narrowed his eyes at Rags. “Your mom is coming home tomorrow, mutt. She’s not going to be happy to hear that you’ve been cheating on her.” His last few words faltered like he wanted to reel them back in, but it was too late.

“Nobody is cheating on anybody.” Parker pushed out an awkward laugh but fell short in her attempt to look nonchalant. Her cheeks heated.

She took a step back and nearly stumbled onto her butt, taking her mom with her. “Oh! Sorry, Mom. I didn’t know you were right behind me.”

Janey regained her footing and stepped in front of Parker. “Excuse my daughter’s manners. I’m Janey, Parker’s mom and your neighbor.”

“Yes, hi, I’m Gus Westman. It’s very nice to meet you.”

They shook hands like adults past the age of thirty did. Parker wanted to stick her tongue out at her mom and run and hide under her bed from Gus and all talk of cheating.

“You too. I just told Parker she should make you dinner. She’s an excellent cook. Her grandmother, who used to live here, taught her all of her culinary skills. Piper never wanted to learn.”

“Mmm…” Gus nodded “…is Piper your other daughter?”

Janey turned back toward Parker, giving her a disapproving frown. “You didn’t tell Gus that you have an identical twin?”

Parker shrugged. “Apparently not. It never came up, or maybe it just slipped my mind.”

After holding a peaked eyebrow at Parker for a few seconds, Janey turned back to Gus. “Parker makes homemade pasta with a delicious Bolognese.”

“Oh yeah?” Gus’s gaze shifted to Parker.

“Sure, when I have a stocked kitchen, which I do not. I’ll make it another night and drop some off for you and Sabrina.”

Gus’s hopeful smile faded with the mention of his wife.

“Oh, make him your tuna with homemade dill spread. And don’t tell me you don’t have the ingredients for it; I looked in your refrigerator earlier.”

“Of course you did.” Parker gave her a stiff smile.

“It’s fine. I have plenty to eat at home—”

“Don’t be silly, Gus. Before we had the girls, Bart used to travel when he worked in sales. I remember how lonely it was eating by myself. Parker…” she turned back and pointed a finger “…don’t take no for an answer. Nobody likes to feel like a charity case, nor do people like to eat alone.”

“Mom—”

“Nice to meet you, Gus.” She patted him on the arm as she brushed by him and out the door like she didn’t contrive the most awkward situation for two people who had no business being alone together. “Good night, sweetie.”

They both spoke at the same time.

“I’ll make something at home.”

“I’ll get started on the tuna.”

“You don’t have to—” Gus shook his head.

Parker mirrored his gesture. “No, it’s fine. I’m sure dinner alone does get lonely after a while. I haven’t been on my own long enough to know that for sure, but … it’s fine. It’s just dinner, right? And we’re friends so …” Her plan to be his friend hadn’t materialized quite as she had imagined.

Gus nodded slowly, each nod gaining momentum like he had to physically convince himself that the answer to her question was yes.

“Great! So…” she jabbed her thumb behind her “…I’ll get started. There’s beer in the fridge.”

After mentally cursing her mom for the hundredth time in less than a fifteen minute time span, Parker busied herself with dinner.

“A twin. I never would have guessed.” Gus took a swig of his beer as he leaned his hip against the counter next to her.

A laugh broke from her chest while she chopped the scallions. “I know. It’s hard to believe I’m not a one-of-a-kind.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’re still one-of-a-kind.”

She chuckled softly. “You could be right. I have twenty-twenty vision, yet I’ve been blind to so much in my life. That’s definitely a unique condition.”

Gus smirked with a curious lift of his eyebrow while he retrieved his phone from his pocket. “Perfectly blind. Do tell.” His grin dissolved as he focused on his screen. “It’s Sabrina.”

“Oh…” Parker nodded toward the other room “…you can take it in there if you need some privacy.”

“Hey.” He brought the phone to his ear.

“Or stay here,” Parker mouthed as she tucked her chin, returning her focus to the cutting board.

“Rags is fine. I am too if you’re wondering.” He ran his hand through his dark hair then stared up at the ceiling.

Parker stole a quick glance at him, enjoying the rare view of his head without his Cubs cap.

“I’m having dinner … with a friend.”

Parker gulped back the ball of nerves that had wormed its way from her stomach to her throat. Gus said they were friends. He had to mean it. Why would he lie to Sabrina?

“No, not Abe. Yes, I have more than one friend. Are you only calling about your dog?”

Parker could hear Sabrina’s voice, but she couldn’t make out actual words. Almost a minute passed before Gus spoke.

“I think you should reschedule.”

More silence.

“Because I think we need to take a vacation … together.”

Rags scratched at the door.

“I’ve got him,” Parker whispered, looking for any excuse not to witness any more of their private conversation. She followed Rags outside. A few minutes later Gus stepped out the back door and sat on the top concrete step.

“She still planning on coming home in two days?” Parker asked without looking at Gus.

“Yup.”

“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I heard you mention a vacation. I’d be happy to watch Rags.”

“No need.”

“No vacation?”

He shook his head slowly, jaw clenched.

She whistled to Rags, who had started to wander toward the shed. He ran back to her without hesitation, like she’d been giving him orders for years.

“Sorry. Maybe when she sees how incredibly efficient her B-team assistant was while she’s been gone she’ll reconsider.” Parker waited for Gus to look at her. When he did, she grinned, and he rewarded her with a one-sided grin of his own.

“B-team assistant?”

She shrugged. “I’m not exactly Brock.”

Gus stood and opened the door for both Rags and Parker. “No. You’re definitely not him.”

Parker washed her hands and finished preparing dinner. “I’m a little surprised that …” Her words hung in the air as she reconsidered saying them.

“That?” Gus stared out the window toward his house.

She set the plates on the table along with two new beers. “This is really not my business, but I can’t help but think that it’s a little strange … Sabrina having a male personal assistant.”

Gus glanced over his shoulder. “That’s a little sexist, is it not?” He walked to the table and folded his tall body onto the old wooden chair that creaked under his weight.

“I know, but that’s not what I mean. I’m just surprised you’re okay with your wife having a male assistant that is with her more than you and travels everywhere with her. I take it you’re not the jealous type?”

“Jealous? No. I’m not insecure either.”

“You’ve never worried that she or they might …”

Gus took a bite of his sandwich. “Cheat?” he mumbled with his mouth full.

Cringing, Parker nodded. “It happens.”

Gus shrugged. “Not to everyone.”

“To a lot,” she whispered to herself.

“To a lot?” Gus leaned forward, turning his ear toward her. “Is that what you just said?”

Shoving a bite into her mouth, she bought herself a few extra seconds to ponder a response. “Yes.” She wiped her lips with a white paper napkin.

With a stern face, he studied her then nodded. “I suppose it does.”

She leaned back in her chair, tapping the side of her beer bottle. “Why do you think people cheat?”

The combination of a tense brow and a slight grin gave Gus a look of both confusion and amusement.

“Why the look?”

He blew a long breath out of his nose. “Nothing. I just … didn’t expect you to ask me that. I-I don’t know how to answer that for sure. There’s probably more than one answer.”

“Yeah, I suppose.” She took a slow sip of beer, contemplating the same question that kept her from letting go of the past.

“A friend of mine cheated on his first wife.”

Parker’s eyes met his. “Oh? Did you know about it before his wife found out?”

Gus nodded.

“But you didn’t tell her?”

“Nope.” He took another bite of his sandwich.

“Why not?”

“Wasn’t my place.”

Her head jerked back as her spine straightened. “Why not? Because he was your friend?”

“No.” Gus wiped his mouth and took another swig of his beer. “Not my marriage. Not my business.”

“So what if the wife had been the one cheating on your friend and you found out, would you have told him?”

“Nope.”

“What the hell? Are you serious?”

“People see things when they’re ready to see them, and they’re blind to them when they’re not ready to deal with reality. She wasn’t ready for a divorce. She wasn’t prepared to fight for her marriage. Had she been either, then she would have acknowledged the lack of attention he gave her, the odd hours he was gone with no accountability, and a million other obvious signs.”

Parker’s jaw dropped as she blinked slowly again and again. She wanted to leap across the table and strangle him for making such ridiculous accusations. Her mind screamed, “I wasn’t stupid and blind!” And yet she admitted her blindness to him a few minutes earlier.

Still, reflecting back, there were no signs. The what-did-I-miss scenario played in her head again as it had done so many times before over the previous years.

Gus grimaced. “Shit. Someone cheated on you.”

Shifting her gaze from the past to him, she nodded.

“Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m just …” She shook her head. “I’m just trying to decide if what you said is true, but I don’t see it. I think I would have wanted someone to tell me.”

“Would it have changed the outcome?”

“I … I don’t …”

“How did you find out?”

The image resided in her mind, not weathered by time.

Clear.

Heartbreaking.

Devastating.

Indescribable.

“I walked in on them in bed together.”

Gus sucked in a hissing breath. “Oh shit.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“It was irrefutable.”

She canted her head to the side. “Irrefutable? It was the ultimate betrayal.”

“Yes, but had someone else told you, there would have been this small part of you—the same part that made you blind to all the signs—that would have doubted them. But you saw it with your own eyes. Irrefutable.”

No one had ever made Parker question herself like that. “So let me get this straight. If your wife were having an affair and someone else found out before you, you wouldn’t want them to tell you?”

“Fuck no.” He took another pull of his beer. “My wife. My life. None of their fucking business.”

“Wow … just … wow. That’s crazy. You’d rather look like a fool to the rest of the world.”

“If someone has to tell me that my wife is cheating on me, then I’m already a fool. Telling me isn’t going to change that. And what if something happened to her, some freak accident, and they knew I knew? I’d be in prison for murdering my cheating wife. No thank you. I’ll stick with ignorance is bliss until I figure it out on my own.”

Parker laughed. “Oh my god, that’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.”

“Weirder things have happened.” He gave her a pointed look.

“You’re crazy.” She stood and took their plates to the sink. “I don’t think I’ll ever get it … the cheating. If you love someone, your heart should always trump physical desire.”

“We often hurt the ones we love the most … or the ones we should love the most.”

He had no idea that his words cut into her very soul, the place she harbored such hatred for the person she’d loved the most since birth. Everyone thought she blamed Caleb. But he didn’t live in her soul; that special place had always been reserved for Piper.

“Out of control hormones are no excuse.” She rinsed the plates and set them beside the sink.

“Desire is very powerful.”

Parker reached for the handle to the fridge. “I don’t buy it.”

Before she could make sense of what was happening, Gus whipped her around and pinned her to the refrigerator door with his body, chest to chest. He pressed his hands flat to the door on either side of her head as she flattened hers to it just below her hips.

She tried to speak as his eyes stripped every ounce of her confidence. His warm breath touched her lips as he licked his, hovering an inch above hers. When her mouth opened to protest or scream, nothing came out.

“Parker,” he whispered in a deep, throaty voice.

The hammering in her chest and the weight of him against her made it difficult to breathe. Warmth flooded her body, yet goose bumps pimpled along her skin from the sound—the feel—of her name falling from his lips. He didn’t move, but his pulse danced along every inch where his body connected to hers.

“Don’t fucking think … just …” He pinched his eyes shut. “Tell me what you feel right now.”

Scared.

Confused.

Angry.

Exhilarated.

Turned on.

Tears stung her eyes as he opened his.

“Tell. Me.”

“I …” She slowly turned her head side to side.

“Are you scared?” The control he held in his voice seemed to slip with each word.

Parker felt his presence in places she didn’t—shouldn’t—want to feel it. Heavy in her breasts. Wet between her legs.

“Yes.” Her voice shook.

“Why?” Gus’s lips lingered close to hers. “Are you afraid of me?”

“I-I’m afraid…” she swallowed hard “…of myself.”

“Why?” His right hand slid down an inch then moved to her face.

She closed her eyes as the back of his fingers brushed her cheek, down her neck, and along the bare skin of her arm. Her nipples hardened against his chest, betraying her.

“Because I’m …” She spoke in breaths, painful and laborious.

Gus shifted a few inches, wedging his knee between her legs; his thigh rubbed along the apex of her legs as his hand moved from her arm to the hem of her shirt.

As her breath hitched from the warmth of his fingers brushing her bare skin, her conscience wept, pleading with her to break the silence. She needed to tell him to stop. It was wrong. He was the devil, a drug, and she didn’t want to be the sinner and the addict.

“You’re what?” His hand moved up her shirt, stopping at the edge of her bra as his knee moved a fraction.

So. Fucking. Wrong.

“Confused,” she whispered.

“And?” His fingers caressed her abdomen.

Her muscles clenched. “Gus …”

She looked up at him and blinked, sending tears running down her cheeks.

He pressed his knee into her until her hips involuntarily bucked against it. She grimaced and more tears filled her eyes as her body betrayed her again.

“Tell. Me.” He gritted his teeth and stroked her again with his leg, and again her pelvis rocked into it.

As she squeezed her eyes shut, her hands gripped his shirt, warring between the need to push him away and something else too terrifying to admit.

“It’s …” A deep and almost painful pressure settled between her legs. “D-desire. I feel…” she fisted his shirt tighter, an unrecognizable voice in her head begged him to move his leg again. Push it higher into her. Harder. Deeper. “…desire.” The admission brought such guilt, but her body couldn’t feel what her mind comprehended. Her body could only feel one thing at that moment.

Gus’s head dipped lower until his breath enveloped her ear. “What are you going to do about it, Parker?” He remained static, hand idle at her belly, hard thigh stilled between her legs.

Even with him pressed against her body, she could have shoved him away, smacked him across the face, or screamed. He held her, but not tightly nor as a hostage. Gus ripped away her control then gave it back to her, yet she remained transfixed only by his words and the way they made her feel desperate and helpless to the moment.

“G-go home, Gus.” She released his shirt, closed her eyes, and held her breath.

He vanished like a dream, leaving only the echo of the door screeching on its hinges and the shudder it gave her when it thwacked shut—an eerie reminder that it really happened.