The Sinner by Emma Scott

Twelve

On my way home from work that afternoon, I found Casziel waiting for me at my subway station. He looked darkly handsome, leaning against a cement pillar. My stupid heart fluttered—the eyes of many women were on him; his eyes were only on me.

“You went rogue on me,” I said as I joined him, and we took the stairs up to the street. “I had no idea you were going to show up at work.”

“The element of surprise was necessary or else we’d have appeared rehearsed. And time is of the essence. I have eight days left.”

“And if we forget, we can just look at your arm to count the days you’ve been here,” I said quietly.

He looked away, as if my concern wounded and touched him at the same time.

We stepped out of the station onto the sidewalk. The sun was setting, and the sidewalks were bustling with people on their way home after the workday. Again, Cas parted the crowds like Moses parted the Red Sea. Without realizing they were doing it, the New Yorkers stayed out of his way, a few shivering as if they’d walked through a cold front.

“How was our performance?” he asked as we headed to my place. “Was Guy sufficiently curious?”

“Definitely. Even Jana and Abby noticed.” I glanced up at him. “No one’s given me a single rose before. It’s almost more romantic than a whole bouquet. More…intimate.”

That conflicted expression came over his face again, then he shrugged. “It’s just a flower, Lucy Dennings. A prop in our plan.”

“Right,” I said. We’d arrived at my studio, and I unlocked my front door. “Of course.”

It was all a performance. The rose was a prop and the kiss on my hand didn’t mean anything. Seemed like my heart was having a hard time remembering that.

We stepped inside. Cas stretched out on the couch and flipped on the TV, as if to avoid conversation. A strange tension permeated the air, like how two strangers in a small space run out of things to say to each other. Except that wasn’t right. More like when two people who are most definitely not strangers have a lot to say to each other but don’t.

Or can’t.

I sat in the chair beside the couch. “I did something kind of big today. I volunteered to share my shoe idea with the team on Monday.”

His eyes widened and he looked to be on the verge of smiling. “You did?”

I nodded. “Deb tried to talk me out of it, but I did what you told me. Instead of listening to her, I spoke up louder. It felt good. Scary but good.”

“I’m not surprised. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever known.”

I stared. “I am?”

He looked away. “I just meant, all humans are far more powerful than they believe.”

“I don’t feel powerful. I feel scared shitless, like I made a terrible mistake.”

“That’s K. Between now and Monday, she and Deb are going to try to stop you by any means necessary.”

“God, demons make it so hard for humans to accomplish anything. It’s amazing that your side hasn’t won and turned this world into hell.”

He arched a brow. “You think it’s not? With the murders and rapes and torture and war and sex trafficking and child pornography and mass shootings and—”

“Yes, there is all that, and it’s all horrible. But there is more that is beautiful than there is ugly. Sometimes it’s just harder to see.” I frowned at him. “I guess that’s your job. To make it hard to see.”

“I couldn’t have explained it better myself.”

“Even so. I still believe in the goodness of people.”

“That, Lucy Dennings, is why I picked you.”

Is that the only reason?

I decided to see how powerful—and brave—I really was.“How, exactly, did you find me, Cas?”

I told you. Seen through the Veil; your light shines bright.”

“But lots of humans shine just as brightly, if not brighter. Jana, for instance. She’s one of the best people I know—”

“I needed someone solitary. I can’t very well go about revealing my true self to just anyone.”

“Okay, but…sometimes I get the feeling that you and I…” I swallowed. “I get the feeling we’re not strangers.”

I held my breath, waiting for him to reply.

“It’s our bond—the one that formed when you spoke my name—creating a false sense of familiarity. That’s all.”

“But—”

He rose from the couch. “Are we not going to dinner with your coworkers shortly?”

“Well, yes. But Cas…”

His gaze swept over me, the longing in his eyes silencing my words and bringing back the dream of the woman and the warrior.

“We have a plan, Lucy Dennings.” His hand came up as if to touch my cheek, then he let it fall and turned away. “Guy is waiting for you.”

We met Abby and Guy at the White Horse Tavern in the West Village. Abby looked stunning in a tight black dress that was almost too fancy for the occasion. Guy hadn’t changed but looked as ruggedly handsome as ever. He pulled my chair out for me and shook Cas’s hand. I legit feared the demon was going to tear out Guy’s throat, the way he was glaring at him.

“I don’t think you and I have ever hung out,” Guy said to me with a warm smile. “Aside from work functions.”

“First time for everything,” Abby said, shooting me a knowing look.

A man at the next table rose to his feet. He’d paid the bill and stuffed his wallet into the back pocket of his slacks. He missed, and the wallet hit the ground without him noticing.

I bent and picked it up. “Sir? You dropped this.”

He took it with a friendly smile. “Thank you so much, young lady.”

Abby rolled her eyes with a laugh. “That’s our Lucy for you. Always the saint.”

I hunched my shoulders. “Most people would do the same.”

“Yeah…after taking a peek at how much cash was inside,” Abby said with a snicker.

“That reminds me of an article I read last week,” Guy said. “A psychologist did an experiment to see if people were inherently good or…not. They placed wallets filled with various amounts of money in fifteen different countries. Seventy-two percent returned the wallets with all the money intact. Isn’t that something?”

“Doesn’t surprise me in the least,” I said, shooting Casziel a look. “I absolutely believe people are naturally good. Some just give in to their inner demons more than others.”

“Guilty,” Abby said and nudged Cas. “That’s what makes life fun, am I right?”

He ignored her, his gaze fixed on Guy. “You believe a few returned wallets proves the inherent goodness in mankind?”

Guy smiled amicably. “I’m Buddhist. We try not to get too stuck on opposing concepts. Things aren’t quite so black and white.”

I could practically feel Cas’s eye roll, despite the fact he’d told me the same thing the night we met.

“You disagree?” Guy asked the demon.

“I believe there are mysteries on top of mysteries that most humans cannot begin to perceive,” Cas said imperiously.

“Probably true.” Guy gestured around the saloon’s warm interior. “For instance, they say this place is haunted.”

“By what entity?”

“The poet, Dylan Thomas.”

Cas snorted. “Dylan Thomas? I just saw him—”

I kicked him under the table and blurted, “I love Dylan Thomas. I love poetry in general, actually.”

“Do you?” Guy turned to me. “Me too. Keats, Dickinson…but Thomas is a favorite. Everyone’s always quoting his Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night but I find And Death Shall Have No Dominion to be more arresting.”

Cas’s derision was like a cold wind. “I’m partial to Our Eunuch Dreams.”

“I love No Dominion too,” I said, glaring at the demon. “That poem is beautiful. And hopeful. I love the line about how lovers might be lost but love never will be.”

I stopped, those words suddenly taking on a new meaning. The dream of the woman and her warrior swam up again, and I glanced at Cas over the candlelight on our table. He met my eyes, a strange, soft look on his face.

“Ugh, boring,” Abby groused, breaking the spell. She put her hand over Cas’s. “Is all this poetry talk putting you to sleep too?”

He didn’t reply but I noticed he didn’t move his hand from her touch, either.

“Speaking of ghosts,” Guy said, “I’m pretty sure my place is haunted too.”

“Why do you think so?” Cas asked, eyes narrowed.

“Little things,” Guy said. “Lights flicker off and on at weird times. Or I’ll hear footsteps down the hall. Once, when I was in the kitchen, the TV turned itself on to a baseball game.” He chuckled. “I hate baseball.”

“Spooky,” Abby said.

“The building is old,” Guy continued, “but I feel a different energy in there.”

“I’d love to investigate,” Cas said, and I choked on my water. “I have a talent for feeling out different energies myself.”

“Oh yeah?” Guy’s smile was tight, like he couldn’t tell if Cas were messing with him or not. Which the demon most definitely was.

“Yeah,” Cas drawled. “I have something of an ability to communicate with those who are no longer with us.”

“Shut up!” Abby swatted his arm. “Like, you’re psychic?” She looked to Guy. “We have to go to your place.”

“No, we really don’t,” I put in, shooting Cas another helpless glance.

“I have a bottle of ’94 Terreno I’ve been waiting to try,” Guy said with a grin. “After dinner, we’ll go to my place and talk to some ghosts.”

“Yay!” Abby clapped her hands together.

“Yay,” Cas agreed.

An hour later, I pulled him aside while Guy stood with Abby on the sidewalk, calling an Uber. “What are you doing?”

“‘I find And Death Shall Have No Dominion to be more arresting,’” Cas mimicked and rolled his eyes. “Is he always that pretentious?”

I glanced down. “You sound jealous. But I guess that’s part of the plan, right?”

Cas hadn’t heard, still ranting. “And if that man’s house is haunted, I’m a swamp imp.”

“So you have to prove him wrong?”

“I’d rather prove him extremely right and deprive him of sleep for a week.”

“Cas,” I warned.

He blinked, the picture of innocence. “Are we not rivals for your hand?”

“If you make a fool of Guy, he’s not going to be super keen to hang out with me in the future. I’ll be guilty by association.”

Guy waved us over to the Uber.

“Just don’t do anything scary,” I muttered as we headed over.

The demon’s grin was unnervingly cheery. “Who, me?”

Guy had a cozy apartment in the meat-packing district with exposed brick walls and a view of the Hudson.

“Make yourselves at home,” he said, giving me a warm smile as we stepped inside. “I’ll see to the vino.”

Abby nudged me. “Why don’t you see if he could use some help?”

Before I could answer, she plopped herself on the couch next to Cas, leaving no room for anyone in between. I headed to the kitchen, listening to his low voice and her answering peal of laughter.

Guy’s kitchen was all wood and glass with a half-dozen houseplants for added warmth. For a bachelor pad, it was homey and welcoming, like Guy himself.

“Hey,” I said, fighting to not let my hair fall over my face. “Need help?”

“Hey, Luce.” Guy popped the cork on a bottle of chianti. “You can grab some glasses, thanks. First cabinet, over the dishwasher.”

I went as directed and took down four red wine glasses.

“Your friend Cas is an interesting guy. Not sure what to make of him, honestly.”

He said it with no trace of malice, just honest curiosity. I managed a smile.

“He’s…eccentric.”

“That’s the word.” Guy leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. He had nice forearms, tanned and with a silver watch on his left wrist. “Where did you say you two met?”

“Oh, umm…we sort of bumped into each other outside my apartment.” I heard how random that sounded and coughed. “But he’s a friend of a friend. From art school. I mean, my friend is in art school and Cas is his friend, and we sort of met…that way.”

Real smooth, Luce. Gold medal in rambling at the Awkward Olympics.

“Cool. He in town long?”

For a split second, I entertained the notion that Guy hoped the answer would be no.

“Not long,” I said. “A few days.”

Guy’s mega-watt beam returned, showing perfect white teeth. “Great. Well, the wine has breathed long enough, I think. After you, my lady.”

I smiled and went out, proud that I’d survived without making a total ass of myself.

Are you sure about that?

“Shut up, Deb.”

Guy took a chair at the head of the coffee table. Since Abby had claimed Cas on the couch, my only seating option was a chair opposite them.

Guy poured the wine and then sat back. “Well, Cas? What’s the verdict? Your Spidey senses tingling?”

The demon made a face. “Spidey senses?”

Abby burst out laughing. “Oh my God, how precious. Of course, they don’t have Spider-Man in Iraq. Guy just means, can you feel any ghosts?”

I just about died of second-hand embarrassment but was more fixated on Abby’s arm that was linked in Casziel’s.

Cas, who apparently had an arsenal of smirks, put on a smug one. “As a matter of fact, I do. A little twinge, perhaps. A little thickness in the air.”

Guy was nodding. “Right? That’s it exactly.”

“Of course, there’s only one way to be sure,” the demon said. “Do you have a Ouija board?”

Abby pursed her lips. “Ugh, no. Those things give me the creeps.”

“Me too,” I said glaring at Casziel. He ignored me, his hard gaze fixed on our host.

“Nope, don’t have one,” Guy said. “Too bad—”

“All is not lost,” Cas said. “We need only a piece of paper of sufficient size and something to serve as a planchette. After all, the board is merely a tool for communicating between this world and the next.”

“When you put it that way…” Abby turned to me and fanned herself, mouthing, So hot.

Guy, amicable as usual, set down his wine glass. “I think that can be arranged.” He came back with a piece of drafting paper and a black Sharpie. “Not sure about a planchette.”

“The shot glass on the mantle will do,” Cas said. He drew a YES and NO on two corners of the paper, the alphabet, and the numbers zero through nine. Below that, he wrote GOODBYE. Then he knelt on the floor at the end of the coffee table so that each of us had a side of the “board.”

Guy placed the shot glass on the paper. “This is wild. What do we do next?”

Now Cas’s smirk was of the don’t-be-an-idiot variety. “We each lay our fingertips to the glass and ask the spirits to make themselves known.”

“Oh my God, have you done this before?” Abby asked. “You’re totally giving me the shivers. Not that I’m complaining…”

I had to admit, Abby was right. The low timbre of Casziel’s voice and his dark, otherworldly charisma made it obvious to me that we were already in the presence of the supernatural. I worried the others were going to get suspicious.

“Touch the glass, please,” he commanded.

We reached to touch the shot glass and the lights in the apartment flickered again, three times. But for Cas, we all jerked our hands back.

“Holy shit.” Guy laughed nervously.

“Holy shit is right,” Abby said, glancing around.

Cas smiled. “An auspicious start.”

I cringed and silently begged him not to get carried away. We all gingerly touched our fingers on the glass, like startled birds resettling.

“Let us begin,” Cas intoned. “Spirits in this domain, are you with us?”

Nothing happened and then the glass slid to YES.

“Eeep,” Abby screeched. “This is so creepy.”

“What is your name?” Guy asked.

The glass slid to Z then U.

Abby wrinkled her nose. “Your name is Zu?”

The glass rushed to YES.

“Have you lived here long?” Guy asked.

The glass went to three.

“Weird. I moved here three years ago.”

“Did you follow Guy to this house?” Cas asked, and the glass raced to YES.

Guy chuckled. “Okay, so that’s not totally disturbing. Go ahead, Luce. Ask a question.”

I decided to take this conversation to lighter ground. “Okay, um…what is your favorite color?”

“Oh my God, Luce, so boring,” Abby drawled.

But the planchette was racing across the board to spell RED LIKE BLOOD

That wiped the smirk off Abby’s face. “Ummm…I don’t think I want to play this anymore.”

“Me either,” I said, mutely begging Cas to behave himself.

He gave me a brief nod of understanding. “Are you a benevolent entity?”

The planchette raced to YES.

“They’re often playful and mischievous but mean no harm,” he explained, shooting me an Are you happy? glance.

Guy relaxed. “Hey Zu, was it you who turned on my TV that one time?”

The glass moved off the YES then back on, then spelled out I LIKE BASEBALL.

The mood changed then as the questions and answers became silly and banal, more like a party game than an actual conversation with “an entity.” Abby and Guy were relaxed now, having fun.

“Zu, settle a debate for us,” Guy said after a while. He shot Cas a wink. “Is the basic nature of man good or evil?”

I silently scolded him to not humiliate Guy and remember our plan.

Casziel received the message because the glass spelled out IT IS NEITHER. NOT BLACK OR WHITE.

“Thank you.” Guy laughed. “There you have it. Can’t argue with an expert, eh, Cas?”

The demon’s smile was acid. “Indeed.”

We all took our hands off the glass, game over. Guy turned to me and touched my shoulder, his smile warm. “Hey, fellow poetry lover, would you like some more wine?”

“That’d be nice, thank—”

My sentence was drowned in Abby’s shriek as the shot glass suddenly flew across the room and shattered against the wall.

“Oh, shit,” Guy burst out and grabbed hold of my hand, moving himself in front of me.

A silence fell where we stared, wide-eyed.

“It would seem your home is indeed haunted,” Cas said to Guy, his smile showing all his teeth. “But then again, I’m no expert.”

Outside on the street, Cas and I waited for an Uber. The demon looked exceedingly pleased with himself. I crossed my arms.

“Was that really necessary?”

“He could stand a little humbling.”

“Says the pot to the kettle. And besides, he’s not arrogant. He’s kind and sweet. Did you see how he grabbed hold of my hand? Like he was going to protect me.”

“I did,” he said icily.

“Our plan is working. He’s never touched me before.”

“And this pleases you?”

“Well…don’t we need this to happen? For your sake?”

“Yes. This needs to happen.” Cas said, his tone unreadable. “For my sake,”

A tension thickened between us and lasted the entire Uber ride home, then followed us into my place. It permeated every corner, and I was acutely aware of Casziel, his body filling my space, and how alone we were together. How his animosity toward Guy felt like more than an act. And how that thrilled me more than Guy’s touch…

No, no, no. This is all wrong. Our plan…

“I’m tired,” I said. “Think I’m going to get ready for bed. Sleep,” I amended quickly. “What about you? It’s early yet.”

“And?”

“You and Abby seemed to hit it off. She’s very into you.”I cleared my throat. “I thought, maybe you would want to…”

He cocked his head. “Would want to what?”

I let my hair fall over my face. “I don’t know. You said demons crave sex…”

He looked away, grimacing. “Oh, I see. Yes, that’s true.” His voice was low. “Goodnight, Lucy.”

And suddenly, I hated every single word that had come out of my mouth since we’d gotten home. I wanted to exchange them for thousands of others. To ask him about my dream, to tell him not to go. To stay with me…

But he was going to go. He had a handful of days left on This Side and nothing was going to change that. Our plan was his only chance of redemption.

So he left—maybe to be with another woman—and I was alone.