King’s Queen by Marie Johnston

Chapter 10

Kate

The trailer was quiet tonight,like it was most nights. The only sound was the tinkling of dishes as I loaded the dishwasher and the TV.

The quiet nights at home as an adult unsettled me, without my brothers tearing the walls down with their wrestling and without Mom or Randall chewing them out for whatever stupid prank they played that brought the police to our house.

When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to leave for college. To go out in the world and prove that I was better than everyone I’d grown up around. Not just my family and how the outside world viewed us, but the kids I’d gone to school with who’d ignored me and forgotten who I was as soon as I was out of sight. The teachers who’d overlooked me because I did well enough, but wasn’t in sports and therefore wasn’t worth extra effort. My hometown had felt so limiting to a girl who’d had big dreams and plans to be someone.

Looking back on it, the hubris was shocking. Why would I be the center of everyone’s world? Yet all I’d really yearned for was to be the center of someone’s world. Mom and Randall had been busy with my brothers. My dad was a trucker and he called to meet for a meal whenever his route took him through town, but he didn’t come here otherwise. My friends from school had other, better friends and we’d drifted apart. The teachers had stellar students they could push harder and worse students who needed extra attention. My college sweetheart hadn’t felt strongly enough about me to change his career plans and I’d felt the same. We’d gone our separate ways, like me and Bisa, except I didn’t keep in touch with Gabriel.

What I’d been missing growing up, I found through my work. Patrons needed me. I was not only good at my job, I was useful. People appreciated me. I had a purpose, and it kept me busy enough to mask what I was missing at home.

After a long weekend with Aiden, I realized why I’d really left him.

More importantly, I realized why I wanted things to work out between us. Why I wanted to believe that his heart was in this relationship as much as his pride. When his full attention was on me, I believed I could be the center of his world. I believed he loved me, and because of the loss he’d suffered so young, he didn’t know how to show it.

Bisa had swung by the night of the costume party so Aiden could see us together, rocking our red bodysuits and blue wigs. With Bisa present, I hadn’t expected to see another grin, but humor had danced in his eyes before he’d kissed my forehead, earning a nose full of fake blue hair, and said, “Have fun, Thing Two.”

My lips curved at the memory until I was grinning to myself. I switched the dishwasher on and dug out some plastic containers. I packed Mom’s leftover meatloaf for tomorrow’s lunch.

Randall dozed in his recliner as the last of a crime drama played. Mom was in her corner of the couch, bent over the crossword puzzle from a newspaper she’d gotten at work. I set my lunch on top of the bags I’d packed for each of them. Part of my payment for living here was to clean up after meals and I included packing their lunches. It was the least I could do. Randall had landed a day shift at the refinery years ago, but it exhausted him as much as switching shifts. And while Mom had worked her way to supervisor for hotel housekeeping, she had to clean just as many rooms as she had before, between employees calling in sick or being no-shows.

Mom popped her head up. “Damn, I forgot to grab milk.”

“I can get it on my way home tomorrow.”

She scooted forward in her seat, shaking her head. “No, Randall’s a bear if he doesn’t have milk for his morning coffee.”

“I’ll go get some. Sit down.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” The bustle of the grocery store sounded better than my small silent room. “Need anything else?”

“Maybe some more Folgers?” Her mouth quirked. “I did that once. Made a special trip for milk and then the next morning we found out we were out of coffee.”

Randall was a mellow man—unless he was undercaffeinated. He and Mom had an arrangement. He thought coffee magically made itself every morning and Mom made it her personal mission to keep him stocked. But then she never had to worry about a snowy sidewalk or driveway. Randall woke before her and moved snow, often opening the garage door and starting her car so it was warm for her.

I grew up witnessing those trade-offs. I’d gone into my marriage assuming we’d have them. But my attempts had fallen flat when he hadn’t reciprocated. He’d let me use the jet. Maybe I just had to recognize the times he did try instead of shoving him into a rectangular container like I’d just packed the meatloaf in.

I grabbed my keys and stuffed a patterned stocking hat over my hair. I’d gone to the gym and showered after work, but it was just the grocery store. I didn’t need makeup or the contacts I’d taken out as soon as I’d gotten home. My gray sweatpants and purple fleece athletic top were fine. A couple of months ago, I would’ve changed back into my work clothes thanks to self-imposed expectations that had no grounding in reality.

The drive was fast. I parked at the end of the lot under a streetlight. A few extra steps would make up for the chocolate that wouldn’t fail to land in my basket before I checked out.

I ran through the store, grabbed the milk and coffee, and saved my sweet tooth for a jumbo muffin that I’d eat for breakfast. As I was walking to my car, I narrowed my eyes.

Was my tire flat?

The closer I got, the more certain I grew. Yep. It was flat. I could limp it to a pump, fill it, and get home, but then it’d deflate overnight. Randall would insist on putting on the spare after the car had been sitting out in the cold all night.

I dug out my phone—and stopped. Who was I going to call?

Aiden?

He’d flown me to Indianapolis and back. Was it fair for him to keep bailing me out?

Mom and Randall?

No, I didn’t want to disrupt their evening in the middle of a workweek.

Jason?

He worked at the refinery too, and I never knew what shift he was on. Sophie would know how to change a tire, but she did shift work too at the hospital.

I would do it my damn self.

Randall had made sure my brothers and I knew how to do the basics. But changing a tire was easier on a wheel that’d been taken off and put on three other times. Wrestling lug nuts off after an impact wrench tightened them had to be harder.

I tossed my items in the passenger seat and dug out the manual. I managed to find the tire-change kit under my back seat. The metal of the jack sapped heat through my thin gloves. I hadn’t made it to the tire yet and my fingers were getting numb.

My breath puffed around me as I squatted, placed the lug nut wrench, and strained.

Nothing budged.

Was I going the right way? Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.

I tried again and had to stop and flex my fingers. I placed the wrench over a different lug nut. Same effect.

Shit.

All I needed to do was get on the spare and I could bring the car in tomorrow. I didn’t work until noon.

I tried every single nut and none of them made me optimistic. I dropped the tools and looked around. The flat was on the opposite side as the store. My efforts were blocked by my car and no one paid me any mind.

I slid into the car, started it, and took out my phone. With numb fingers, I called Aiden.

He answered on the first ring, his deep voice warming me more than the heat pumping out of the vents. “Kate.”

“I have a flat and I can’t get the tire off.”

“Where are you?”

I rattled off the grocery store and finished with “Sorry to bother you.”

“It’s not a problem. I’ll be right there.” He hung up.

I waited in the driver’s seat until the headlights of his pickup flashed over me. He parked on the side with the flat and hopped out at the same time I climbed out.

God, he looked good. It was winter, but his coat was probably draped over the back seat. He shrugged out of his suit coat and my mouth went dry. His pewter dress shirt shone under the parking lot light. He loosened his tie and tore it off all the way, tossing it with his suit jacket into the back seat. It shouldn’t be possible for the flex of his muscles to be visible in the dark.

He scrutinized the tire as he wedged his hands into a black pair of gloves, his dark gaze sweeping over the tools I left out. “Did you try the portable air compressor?”

I bit the inside of my lip. “No, sorry. I totally forgot about it.” He’d given me one after we started dating and I’d never had to use it. It was tucked away in the winter kit in my trunk.

His gaze popped up. “No reason to be sorry. Do you want to wait in the pickup?”

The pickup that smelled like him? Almond and anise over a clean soap smell? Simple and uncomplicated, like I had thought he was. Three nights in a hotel room had been hell on my hormones. My car was warm enough. “I can help.”

The corner of his mouth lifted. Not many would realize it was his smile. “Sure. Pop the trunk?”

I did and he dug out the portable air compressor. He plugged one end in the car and stretched around to hook on the nozzle.

The rhythmic cycling of the tiny motor filled the parking lot, but it was getting late and not many people were milling around. None of them bothered more than a glance toward us. All they saw was a damsel in distress and a hot knight who’d ridden in on his mighty steed.

“Were you at work?” I asked.

“No reason to be anywhere else,” he said simply.

I chewed my lower lip to redirect the sting of pain his comment caused. He hadn’t meant it as a barb about how I’d left him, but then again, I hadn’t been enough to lure him away from work when we had been together either.

A few more minutes passed with us staring at the still-flat tire.

“I don’t think it’s going to hold air,” he said. “I’ll put the spare on.”

He squatted down and I couldn’t look away. His shirt pulled tight over his shoulders. His black belt held it tucked in and added a border over his tight ass. Powerful thighs twisted and turned as he set the compressor aside and undid the lug nuts one by one. The small grunt he let out before he loosened each nut made me feel slightly better about my inability to do the same.

The light scruff on his jaw gave him a dangerous look that my inner wanton craved. He could wear all the suits he wanted, but it didn’t change that he’d grown up in the dirt, chasing cattle and his brothers. He’d polished those rough edges and I wanted to scrape them back up.

He put on the spare within minutes and cleaned up the mess before I could help. I continued to stare as he leaned in the car to tuck the tools under the back seat. What an ass.

When he bent to lift the flat, I stepped forward. “I can do that. You’ll get dirty. Dirtier.”

He glanced down and shrugged. “It’s just a suit.”

That cost more than my monthly paycheck.

He hefted the tire and carried it one-handed to the trunk and tossed it in. Dusting his gloves off, he crossed to me. “Where are you going to take it?”

“Uh…” I’d had plenty of time to think this through, but I’d spent the last several minutes ogling my husband.

“I can follow you and give you a ride home.”

“Sure. I think I’ll go to that place on Central Avenue.”

Aiden nodded his head once. “I’ll call them in the morning.”

“I should do it.” I lifted my hands. I’d started the week reverting back to the starry-eyed ingenue after one weekend away with Aiden. But nothing had really changed other than we hadn’t had sex.

One of the first things he’d said tonight was that I hadn’t been enough to drag him away from the office.

Hurt flashed in his eyes and those soft lips of his pressed into a line. “Whatever works for you.”

None of this worked for me. He’d swooped in and saved me, but he’d also devastated me at the same time.

* * *

Aiden

Kate had savedme from one of the most unproductive nights at the office. Her call had startled me out of the hundredth trance I’d found myself in.

She pulled into the parking lot of the tire shop. I idled behind the car as she ran around to grab her purse and a bag of groceries. She scrambled inside my pickup, using the running board and oh-shit handle to pull herself inside.

“Want to grab a bite to eat?” I asked as soon as she shut the door.

She blinked at me, her wide hazel eyes swirling with the millions of thoughts that streamed through her mind. When I’d started dating her, I realized I had to up my game. She was intoxicatingly intelligent. I could talk work without losing her, didn’t matter if it was about King Oil or the ranch.

Regret infused her gaze. “I already ate.”

“Want to join me anyway?” Please say yes. Since I’d heard her voice on the other end of the line, I hadn’t wanted to be anywhere but at her side.

“Where are you going?”

“What about that Thai place we like?”

The corner of her mouth tipped up. “The place where I can’t resist their spring rolls no matter how full I am?”

And I was after the moan she made whenever she bit into one. “Yes.”

“All right. I’ll let Mom know. I was picking up milk for her.”

“As long as Randall gets his morning coffee.”

Her gaze darted up to mine. “Yeah. You remember?”

“Yes.” She shouldn’t have to ask. Her family was important to her and I had paid attention to the details, the parts of her life she shared and talked about. I hadn’t done enough with the knowledge, and I got that now. I pulled away from the tire place. “How are Sharon and Randall?”

“Counting down the days to retirement.” And like I’d hoped, the floodgates opened and I relaxed into the cadence of her speech. “Randall retires in three years. He’s not going to miss it, but if he doesn’t find a hobby, he’s going to drive Mom crazy if they both have to sit on top of each other all day. But he won’t be able to take on more coaching. I think his days with the wrestling club are numbered. He just feels like he’s letting them down if he steps away. He loves coaching, but it takes a lot out of him. He says the boys these days have more energy since they’re not running wild through the neighborhood. He’s so tired when he gets home. Then there’s Mom. She talks about how she’s going to have her desk packed a month before retirement. But she’s going to be lost without hearing all the updates about her employees. She’s like a surrogate grandma.”

She didn’t continue and I glanced over. The streetlights flickered over her face and she’d drawn her plump lower lip between her teeth. She wasn’t wearing makeup and the sweatpants she had on weren’t ones she wore often. She was cute in them. Whenever her coat moved high enough, I got a nice glimpse of her round ass.

Usually when she stopped on a dime like this, I stayed quiet and she continued. Not tonight.

“And then what?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s just more rambling.”

“I don’t mind.” Kate’s voice worked better than any over-the-counter medicine I could buy for the stress headaches that’d been popping up for years. I hadn’t gotten them until I’d started at King Oil. After I’d fucked up and taken on more work to keep mistakes from happening again, they’d gotten worse.

“We’re here.”

Damn. I parked and got out. She slid out and charged inside.

Once we were settled at a booth, I set my phone on the table. The screen flashed on. Full of notifications. Dad had insisted I shut off all the bells, dings, and vibrating alerts. Then he’d checked all my devices to be sure I had complied.

Nothing’s that urgent, Aiden. We’re in the oil business, not the ambulance business.

I hated to admit that I didn’t miss a single one of those sounds. But I kept the visual notifications, and dread piled on my shoulders whenever I saw the screen. Emails. Messages in at least four apps. Missed calls.

The server came over and dropped off menus and water. Neither Kate nor I looked at them.

“How’s work?” I asked. Another notification lit my screen and I suppressed my groan. I had a survey from a special advisory and consulting company I was supposed to finish by tomorrow. Something about what the focus of the company’s future was from a CFO’s point of view.

This CFO wanted a quiet meal with his wife.

Kate’s gaze dropped to my phone and she waited a beat, like she was seeing if I was going to tend to business. When I didn’t, she said, “Work’s good.”

Was she purposely not elaborating? She loved her job.

She fiddled with the edge of the menu she wasn’t reading. The dark purple shirt she wore molded over her breasts and it took an obscene amount of effort to drag my gaze up. The ball on the top of her winter hat jiggled with each movement of her head. She hadn’t taken it off.

“Aren’t you hot?”

“Hmm?” She prodded her hat. “No. Well, yeah, but I showered earlier. Didn’t think I’d be seeing anyone for a quick milk run.”

“You look fine, take it off.”

“No, thanks. My hat head would be criminal.”

“Kate, I’ve seen you worse.”

She tilted her head, her eyes solemn. “Have you though?” Before I could ask what she meant, she slid out of the booth. “I’ll be right back.” She headed for the restrooms.

What had she meant? I’d seen her in the morning. Most mornings. Some mornings. I woke earlier than her to work out and get to the office. On the weekends, she… I was at the home office a lot. But I’d seen her in boots covered in mud and cow manure and with dirt on her face. Though then she’d rushed through the bathroom first while I hung out with my brothers.

I scowled and picked up my phone. I could knock out that survey quickly.

I didn’t know how much time had gone by when Kate slid in across from me.

“This’ll just be a minute,” I said.

The server arrived. Kate ordered her spring rolls and I sensed their attention on me.

“Do you mind?” I asked Kate.

She ordered my pad thai. Another page on the survey popped up. Goddammit. Couldn’t I get one night to myself?

I could’ve carved out tonight if I hadn’t taken a week off for my meltdown. Kate took out her phone and tapped at the screen. I wished she’d talk. I could multitask, but she’d said nothing to me since she’d returned.

She’d taken her hat off and finger-combed her hair. The section that had been pressed down by the hat was still flattened, giving her a sexy, rumpled look. A fresh-out-of-bed look that I longed to see again. I kept the phone centered so she outlined everything else in my line of sight. Just sitting near her soothed the flurry in my mind. Kate was the calm in my storm. Without her, I was only pretending to keep my shit together.

My food cooled, but this damn survey… They’d surveyed oil companies all over the northern US and Canada. If I was the only CFO who didn’t respond, it wouldn’t look good as to what King Oil took seriously as future concentrations. I could just see our name called out on the report sent out to investors. But the questions required more of an essay for an answer than a short response and Kate was almost done eating.

I had to apologize. “I’m really—”

“Oh, that’s my ride.” She laid a twenty on the table by her plate.

The survey was forgotten and the apology froze on my tongue. “What ride?” Why was she paying?

“You’re busy.” She slipped out and grabbed her winter coat.

She was heading to the door before I’d gotten up and left my untouched meal behind.

“Kate.”

She was out the door.

The twenty wasn’t enough to cover our meal and tip, but I’d make it right after I talked her into staying. “Kate. Don’t leave.”

She paused with her hand on the door. “Aiden.” My name came out in tired exasperation. Like she was physically exhausted because of me. “You need to find a reason.”

I lifted my shoulders and shook my head. A reason for what? But the defeat in her eyes left me tongue-tied. I’d messed up and didn’t know how.

She opened the door and asked the driver to wait a minute, then turned to me. Wind ruffled her hair. My hands itched to bury themselves in her silky strands.

She stuffed her hat on her head. “Between the trust and your work, I don’t know what to think about us. You asked for more time, but for what?” She lifted her chin toward the restaurant. “So I can watch you on your phone for the next fifty years? So you can work so hard you have a heart attack like your dad? Tonight, you said you had no reason not to be working.” She stepped closer and cupped my face, her hands warm despite the cold weather. “You need to find your reason.”

She released me and put distance between us. “Can you unlock the pickup so I can grab the groceries?”

I didn’t respond but went to the pickup and retrieved them for her. She managed not to touch my fingers as I handed the bag to her.

“Everyone depends on me. Everyone at the company depends on me.” I should’ve kept my mouth shut. She should be my priority and I’d just admitted that I worked so hard for everyone else.

“Do you think what they need out of you is to never see you?”

“It’s how I can best serve them.”

“And what about yourself, Aiden? What do you want?”

The answer came easy. “You.”

Sadness darkened her eyes more than the night sky. “You have a funny way of showing it. Good night, Aiden.”

And she was gone. I had to go in and leave more money for the food. Take my entree to go. I wasn’t hungry.

For once, I had been honest with my feelings, and it had done no good. Too little too late.

I’d asked her for more time and then wasted what she’d given me, just like I had the last four years.