Boys Like You by Jaye Pratt
Reality sets in as Beth, or Mumma B as the guys call her, sits across from me. The guys were asked to wait outside while we have a chat. For whatever crazy reason, when the guys are around, I feel calm. Maybe it’s because they found me, or they were the first people I saw when I woke up.
“I see the boys went a bit crazy with the new clothes,” she says, pointing to my numerous shopping bags.
“I didn’t ask them to buy me stuff if that’s what you’re thinking,” I blurt out defensively. I don’t know why I’m defensive, she hasn’t accused me of anything. Maybe it’s a part of the person I’m forgetting, maybe that me was a person who had to defend her actions constantly.
“I didn’t think that at all, JD, I know how caring and generous they can be. I’ve known them a long time.” I arch my brow at her, she is a good-looking woman for her age, she would have to be close to fifty, her brown hair pulled into a braid, the front slightly greying. Her brown slacks and white blouse make her look older.
“Is that the only reason you want to take me, because of them?” Again with the defensive attitude.
“I take in lots of kids for various reasons. Marlene called me to see if I would take you because of the boys – she feels they may be too much for another carer to handle, and I agree with her. Unless them being around is too much for you?”
“No,” I quickly throw out. “I like them being around, they take my mind off everything.”
“I can understand that,” she says softly.
“Is it weird that I feel connected to them after only two days? Should I be freaked out?” I watch for her reaction. Does she feel an overpowering need to have a relationship with them like I do?
“Everyone reacts differently after some type of trauma. I’ve seen plenty in my time, though memory loss like yours is a first. I have had some who have blocked out certain events in their lives, though. It’s only early days for you. And I will be here through the whole process.” She reaches out to touch my hand, I pull my hand away.
“I-I’m…” I stutter. “I’m sorry, touching is too much.” My chest goes tight, my breathing erratic, and my head spins. There is some commotion in the room, a hand touches my shoulder. I buck the hand off causing pain to radiate through my whole body. I gasp for breath, the pain so bad.
“MOVE,” a voice booms, pushing his way into the room.
“It’s okay, JD, just breathe slowly and focus on my voice.” The rasp in his voice makes me aware Mercer is in the room. “Everything is going to be fine, we will go to Mumma B’s and get you settled in. If you want, we can stay for dinner; Mumma B makes a killer meat loaf.” My breathing evens out and the tightness in my chest eases. My surroundings become clear. Beth, the doctor and the rest of the guys are standing watching me. Tears fall down my face, unable to hold them in.
“JD, I think you just had an anxiety attack, most likely associated with your memory loss. You may also get feelings of being detached from yourself, your perception of things may become distorted or unreal. I have emailed a therapist to go over everything with you in detail. I didn’t want to throw everything at you at once. I have given Beth some scripts for medication if you need it for the anxiety, also sleeping meds in case you keep getting nightmares.” I just nod at him; my head still spins. I do feel detached from myself.
“I have forwarded the referral to Lena Davis, her office should be in contact with you, Beth, in the next few days to set up an appointment. And JD, just take it easy; you did have signs of a concussion when you came in. Any headaches or dizziness, come back to the emergency room. Your ribs will be sore for a good week or two, and your face should be back to normal in about two weeks.” I notice Maximus is taking down notes and shows a piece of paper to Beth.
“Maximus has a good question; what time did JD last have pain meds?” Beth asks the doctor.
“Endone is due before bed, ibuprofen and Panadol are fine anytime from now,” he says, looking over my file.
After the doctor leaves, Mercer picks up a bag and hands it to me. Inside is a low-cut black and white pair of converse. Apparently, I am a size seven. I think Mr Cole should be a personal shopper – he picked clothes for me just from the boys’ description of me. When it’s time to leave, Beth pulls the boys aside, asking Levi and Maximus to go to the chemist and pick up the scripts. They don’t even bat an eyelid when she asks, they just take the scripts, refuse her money and go off to run the errands.
“Okay boys, grab JD’s things and help me load them in the car. The kids are excited to meet you.” I freeze. I didn’t know there would be others at the house… and kids. Do I like kids? Gauging from my reaction, I don’t think I do.
“Kids?” I don’t want to over react; little people shouldn’t be a problem.
“Yes. Damien, Dawson and Emmy,” she says. The boys are loaded with bags and ready to go. Rocky speaks up as we reach the hallway.
“Kids are horrible noisy little things.” Good, so it isn’t only me.
“Children make Rocky uncomfortable; their energy spikes his,” Beth adds.
“The thought of them makes me feel weird,” I admit.
“You will have your own space and they won’t bother you. I’m sure the boys will be over to keep you company.” She looks at Mercer and smiles. Clearly she knows they will be by my side. The thought causes a weird feeling in my gut. Good or bad, I’m not sure yet.
“I had a breakthrough with Damien,” Mercer tells Beth. “He has had it out for me since we met,” he adds with a crooked smile.
“I noticed that.” She laughs. “I just wanted to see how you both would react. You have come a long way, Merce. I’m proud of you.” Mercer looks at me and back to Beth.
“I wouldn’t get ahead of yourself just yet,” he adds.
Beth chuckles as we make our way outside, the walk slow. She tells us to wait by the loading zone and she will pull her car around. Rocky is standing on the metal bench seat by the loading zone, balancing on the back support, holding two of the bags. Mercer stands beside me shaking his head.
“Are you okay?” Mercer asks, his eyes still not leaving Rocky, making sure his friend is okay.
“Just a bit nervous, I suppose. Everything in the hospital was okay, I felt safe in the room – now I’m leaving into the world, I have something wrong with my head, blocking out my own memories – what if someone hurt me and tries to find me? It’s all overwhelming.” His gaze shifts to me.
“I can’t speak for you and your experiences, but I know from mine that every day things get a little bit easier, especially when you have people to support you.” I don’t get a chance to respond, Beth pulls up in her white minivan and Rocky calls out “shotgun” as he races for the front seat.
“Is he expecting me to race him? I can barely walk straight.” We both laugh as Rocky jumps into the car and closes the door quickly.
“That’s just Rocky; he has too much energy with his ADHD. Medication makes him drowsy, so his parents have him on a controlled diet, and with his athletics he is fine most of the time. It’s only a trial for now,” Mercer tells me while loading the bags into the boot of Beth’s van. Once the bags are loaded, he opens the side sliding door and helps me in. “I’ll meet you there, I have my car.”
“Okay.” He closes the door, and I watch him walk away. Beth asks if I’m ready, and I nod as she pulls out of the hospital. Rocky gives me a verbal tour of everything we pass, but nothing rings a bell. He tells me they all go to school about half an hour from here in the opposite direction.
Apparently, Beth lives in Morgan Bay, right off the beach. He doesn’t say much else about where they all live; it’s probably pointless anyway because it all means nothing.
I watch out the window when we turn onto a street along the beach front. The houses we pass on the left-hand side are beautiful. Beth pulls into a weird driveway at the end of the street. The front of the house has a massive window on the second storey. Across from that is the beach. It looks amazing from here and I can see stairs that lead down to the water. By the time we exit the car and Rocky gathers all my bags, a white 4WD pulls into the driveway; the car is massive, short in length, but tall. Parking under a tree, Rory jumps out of the driver’s seat with some grocery bags, smiles at me and follows Beth inside. Next to pull in is Mercer.
“What kind of car is that?” I ask Rocky. It looks almost like a tank.
“Hummer,” is all he says. As Mercer exits the car, a canary-yellow jeep parks beside him, and I realise, through my amazing power of deduction, that it has to be Levi and Maximus. Sure enough they both jump out.
“Sorry we took so long, Maximus had to read all the damn boxes, and made me ask the pharmacist a million questions, but in the end we have everything you need.” Maximus looks down at his feet, his cheeks going bright red.
“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Without thinking, I lean in and kiss his cheek. His body stills for a second before he looks up and smiles. Levi throws his arm around his friend’s neck and laughs, making Maximus have to fix his glasses, and we all go inside. Rory is helping Beth pack away the groceries.
“I have set JD up in your old games room, I figured she would need the extra space and it’s away from the kids,” she explains. Looking up at me, she continues, “I converted the garage into a games room back when I had all the boys; it was just sitting there unused. It even has an ensuite – having so many kids it was always good having two toilets and showers.”
“I hope you didn’t go to any trouble.”
“No trouble at all, my brother John lives for this kind of thing; renovations are his specialty. Watching him have to work with Mr Cole’s direction was worth it, payback for all the times he tormented me as a child.” She laughs to herself, obviously thinking about her brother.
“My dad has been messaging me non-stop asking if JD has seen the room yet. He’s so excited; decorating is his passion. I hope he didn’t drain your bank account.” Mercer’s eyes cut to mine as he talks to Beth.
“Oh hush, how about you boys go show JD her room while I get dinner sorted? John will be back with the kids soon. And call your dad back.” She waves us off and Rocky jumps behind me, I flinch closing my eyes. Mercer steps in front of me placing his hands on my shoulders. “Are you okay?”
I nod. “He just startled me, I’m fine now. Let’s check out this room.”
“Rocky, you get the bags,” Mercer demands, I glance at Rocky and he looks away. I feel terrible. I've made him feel bad. Levi, Rory and Maximus lead the way, followed by Rocky with the bags, Mercer and I trailing behind.
“Holy shit, this is sick,” Rocky says, dropping the bags. I look around. The bed is raised off the floor – a closet underneath. The theme of the room is the beach, featuring distressed beach wood, a mini lounge room with a tv, two small couches, a rug and coffee table. Against the wall on one side is a desk and on the other is a set of drawers with a touch lamp on top.
“Your dad is so talented,” I say in shock.
A small boy comes running into the room shouting Mercer’s name. Rocky flies up the stairs to my bed whispering ‘hide me’. I watch as he throws the covers over his head.
“Are you here to show me some moves?” the kid says, stopping by Mercer’s side. He looks at Mercer, waiting on his answer. Mercer looks at me and I shrug – who am I to disappoint the kid?
“Sure, just until dinner. JD, did you wanna watch?” he asks me. I’m still not sold on the idea of being around kids. I don’t know why, it’s just this feeling inside me.
“I might just chill here and unpack, I need a minute.” Mercer nods while the kid drags him from the room. Rocky climbs down off the bed when the coast is clear, slightly standing behind Levi, who hits Rocky in the chest with an oomph. “Let’s go make sure Mumma B doesn’t need a hand now the kids are back. “How about you, Rocky, come help?”
“Nope, I do my bit on Sundays. I love Mumma B but those damn kids and all their energy freaks me out.”
“Maximus?” Levi asks. He just shakes his head, puts his headphones on and lays back on one of the couches, his legs hanging over the side. “Fine, we will call when dinner is ready.” With that, Levi and Rory leave the room to seek out Beth. I think they are just trying to give me some space and not overcrowd me.
Rocky is back lying on my new bed against the wall, his arms folded behind his head, his eyes closed. I climb the stairs to join him, taking the spot next to him.
“Are you really that freaked out by the kids?” I ask, seeing if he will open up. Not that I expect him to, he’s only just met me and I have nothing to give him in return. He rolls on his side to face me.
“Yes and no. My doctor and parents decided I should try and go off my medication.” He looks torn over this decision, and I want to know what makes him tick – if it’s something he wants or if he is just a people pleaser.
“And you didn’t want to?” I ask, looking at the worry on his face.
“I don’t know. On my medication I get depressed easily, but my brain slows down. Off it I have all this unnecessary energy. I run and swim and it isn’t enough. The diet sucks. I just wish I was normal and could concentrate and stop moving.” I place my hand over his.
“You seem pretty still right now.” He looks down at my hand and smiles.
“I always have time to sit still for a pretty girl.” His smile is from ear to ear. Definitely a ladies’ man at the least.
“Stop it.” I laugh, hitting him on the arm and then shaking my hand – I didn’t expect his bicep to be that rock hard. “I look like Quasimodo. Look at my big eye.” He laughs this time as I point to my swollen face.
“You know who Quasi is. Does that count as a memory?” I think about it for a moment. It’s hard to explain.
“I don’t know how to explain it, maybe it’s like muscle memory, like I know one plus one is two. I just know.” His features soften as he thinks about what I’ve said.
“Do you miss not knowing who you are?” he asks.
“I can’t miss what I don’t remember, but it’s strange because I keep thinking, shouldn’t I want to try and find out who my family is? Who I am? I was obviously beaten, shouldn’t I be afraid of a bunch of strange guys? Yet being around you all makes me feel safe, like everything will be okay.” I feel like an idiot hearing myself say that five strangers make me feel safe, especially after looking at myself in the mirror.
“It isn’t strange. I was third here at Mumma B’s, Maximus was here and so was Levi. I was scared, and I was naughty. We later figured out that it was my ADHD and PTSD, but Levi, just a kid himself, told me that first night that tomorrow is a new day, and that I had him now, and as long as we had someone who had our back we would be fine. He didn’t know me, he didn’t know how long I would be staying, he just knew he would be my person. Now we are all each other’s people – brothers. We fight like brother’s do but no matter what I do, right or wrong, they support me. So we don’t need to know you, or you us. We are your people now, no matter what.” I believe him. I wonder how I was lucky enough that they found me.
“What if I get my memory back?” I ask the question that keeps running through my head.
“Just let anyone try to keep us away from you. Why do you think they placed you here? Marlene has been around awhile. When she saw Rory she knew she knew his face, and it didn’t take her long to figure out how. She has worked with Beth for many years.”
“Are you back with your parents?” I could say I don’t want to push but it would be a lie, I want to know everything about him, what makes him tick.
“Carmen and Rick, are my parents in every sense of the word except biological. I can’t wait until they meet you.” I smile. “How about we unpack your clothes, that way it gives me a real excuse to look through your underwear and it not look creepy.”
We spend some time folding my clothes and packing them away. Rocky makes a point to embarrass Maximus by throwing some of my underwear his way. I would pretend to be upset and pout at Rocky and he would apologise to Maximus. Eventually we’re called out for dinner. I take a deep breath when Rocky leaves the room, forgetting Maximus is still here. He surprises me by standing by my side, holding out his hand. I look at him and down to his hand, he nods. The guys told me he doesn’t talk; they didn’t say anything else. I thread my fingers through his and he leads me from the room. I just hope whoever comes for me doesn’t take them away. They’re the only reason I haven’t lost what is left of my mind.