Accidental Neighbor by Sharon Woods

Chapter 30

Thomas

Walking over to the window overlooking the city in my office, I stare out at the clouds and take a deep breath. It’s Wednesday and that means I will see her when I get home. I haven't been able to even send an email. My hands are sweaty, and my brain is foggy. Work has been the best distraction, but waking up on a weekend with nothing and no one to look forward to is tough. Jennifer's presence is everywhere in my home. Her scent every night on my pillows and sheets isn’t helping.

Stripping my sheets off the bed and putting them in the wash still didn’t help. Knowing I ended it, I need to push forward. She can’t get hurt if she isn’t with me. She is too good to be settling for a life with me and the girls. I can’t offer her what she needs; I wish I could. She makes me feel alive again, and now I'm back to the empty, lost man like before.

As I gaze out at the people below, my mind wanders back to the weekend when I was switching on the washing machine, and Lily came skipping in. “Is Jen coming over today?”

I was caught off guard, and I hesitated for a moment, trying to search for the best explanation. Coming up empty, I blurted out, “No. Sorry, sweetheart. She is busy.”

“Oh, I miss her.”

So do I.

But I couldn't exactly say that. You chose this; you need to let her go.

Ava’s desk phone rings, breaking me from my daze. Remembering where I am, I return to my desk and call Mom.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she answers.

Reclining back in my chair, I say, “Hi, Mom. Hope I'm not interrupting you. I just have a quick question."

“I'm just tidying the house; you aren't interrupting. What's the question?”

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” I ask.

“No, why? Do you need something?” she asks.

“I was wondering if you would mind coming to stay for the weekend. I wanted to watch the game at a bar with the boys.”

I need some time out and a distraction. Keeping myself busy is the only thing helping me to not allow my thoughts to drift. Drift to her.

“I would love that. It’ll give you a break and I’ll get my fix of the girls.”

I smile. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Anytime, sweetheart. I’m excited.”

“The girls will go crazy when I tell them tonight. Well, I better go so I can get home.”

“Okay love. See you Saturday.”

“Bye.” I hang up and text the boys.

Thomas:Guys, want to catch the game at a bar Saturday?

James: Yeah, that works for me.

Joshua: Of course. I can’t wait.

Benjamin: Bummer. I got practice, but I’ll try and meet you after for a drink.

 

Jennifer

What do you think about this bed? I fall face-first into a display bed. I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, feeling the bed dip a few times beside me. I throw myself up, and my eyebrow perks.

I watch my dad move around the bed to take a good look at every angle. He stops in front of me at the end of the bed, his arms crossed. I’m expecting him to hate the bed.

“I think for the price it's good.”

My face lights up, and I rub my palms together. “Let’s get it.”

My parents offered to buy me a new bed as a housewarming present. They didn't want me to take the existing bed in case I needed to stay over. I think they secretly hope I will be moving back. But I’m ready for this. Ready to stand on my own.

Standing up, we move toward the registers.

“Shit, that hurts.” Grabbing my foot, I flop onto the nearest bed. My toe pulsates in pain.

"There is a bed right there." My dad laughs at me.

"Well, obviously." I roll my eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut before opening them again. Pushing myself up, I limp my way to the register.

After paying for the bed and arranging delivery, we walk to the car. "I have scheduled the moving truck for the weekend… But are you sure you want to do this? You can change your mind. Running away from him won't help."

Wide-eyed, I pause midstep. "I'm not. This is for me. I need to be more independent."

He stops as he realizes I am no longer next to him. Spinning on the spot, he looks at me and I continue walking to meet up with him. "So you aren't doing this out of anger at me? Or avoiding Thomas?"

Walking in front, not wanting to face him as I answer, I say, "No, Dad. I will be seeing Thomas at work and on the day I mind the girls for him."

It will definitely help my crushed heart by not having to live next to him. It will be hard enough facing him at work and Wednesday nights.

We arrive at the car, and both pull open our doors and slide in.

"Oh."

I laugh to cover the awkwardness and shake my head. "It's fine, Dad," I offer, not knowing what else to say.

Missing the girls and Thomas is sad, but it's not my choice. I can't force him to be with me. I need to focus on myself and my future, even if I can't have them in it.

◆◆◆

“What did you do on the weekend? Dad said you were busy,” Lily asks.

I chuckle. “I was. What did you do?”

I use this excuse to pry and get information out of her. It’s not very mature but I don't care. I need to know what they did. Or what he did. Did he miss me? I shake my head. Why do I care?

“We went to the park and had a picnic,” Lily tells me.

It’s Wednesday and I sit with the girls, painting at the table before it’s their bedtime.

“Oh, that sounds like so much fun.” I glance down at the papers in front of me, writing their name on each paper. I missed them on the weekend. The tightness in my chest returns at the thought.

Needing a distraction, I say, "Girls, it's bedtime soon; let's bathe you."

After the bath, I read the girls a nighttime story and tuck them in bed a little later than usual. I just wanted to spend extra time with them, so I offered more books until the girls were yawning and struggling to keep their eyes open.

I peer down at Rose and smile. Helen told me that Thomas had asked her for the list of doctors. That makes me happy because he cares so deeply for Rose and wants the best for her. He could have ignored our advice like so many parents, but he chose to try.

I'm nervous about seeing him tonight. The last time I saw him I had my heart crushed. So I'm unsure how to act with him. My leg bounces up and down as I sit up straight on the couch, constantly checking the time, waiting for him to arrive home.

The noise of the television is on low, so when the click of the door happens, my heart accelerates, and I freeze. Do I get up? Do I stay sitting? Shit. What do I do?

I slowly rise, deciding it will be best if I get out of his space as soon as possible. I will only be torturing myself by hanging around.

Taking small steps until I reach the kitchen counter, I grab on to the edge for support. His shoes tap along the tiles, and my heartbeat escalates, causing a bead of sweat to form on my brow with every heavy footstep of his. I suck in a sharp breath when he enters my view.

Why does he have to be so handsome? I miss him.

He is delectable in his black suit and tie with his white shirt. My heart is thundering inside my chest. My throat dries when I glance up at his full lips, remembering the last time I felt them move across my lips. We stare at each other but neither of us has yet to speak. He places his keys, phone, and wallet on the counter, his eyes razor-focused on me, not dropping his gaze for a second.

“Hi, Jen.” His smooth, controlled voice comes out.

I clear my throat. “Hi.” Even trying to clear my throat, it comes out rough.

“How were the girls?”

He sounds so normal it annoys me, like I don’t matter, like I don’t affect him like he affects me.

I sigh. “The girls were great as usual. We played, they had baths, read, and are in bed. No hassle at all. Dinner is ready for you. I’ll see you next week.”

Pushing off the counter, I walk around him, my body vibrating from passing his body. The magnetism of him is hard to resist. I focus on the door only, but he stops me by slipping in front of me, the intense stare stopping me in my tracks.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I close my eyes for that brief moment. Please don’t.

But when I reopen them, the warm brown glow staring back shatters me. I need to get out of here. My throat is constricting and I'm struggling to breathe. I need air.

I shake my head vigorously and slip out of his touch. Looking directly toward the door, quickening my steps, I desperately need to put distance between us before I embarrass myself and beg for him.

“Jen,” I hear him call, but I don’t stop. I just yank open the door, push open the security door, and quickly shut it behind me. When the cold wind hits me, I suck in a few long breaths. I close my eyes and try to calm myself down before walking home.