Where the Heart Is by Patricia Keelyn

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Nothing was quite the same after Maddie and Nick made love. Yet nothing really changed, either. Nick still spent all his free time with her and the baby, and a new closeness developed between them. They laughed and teased and kissed, as if they’d never been anything but best friends and lovers. But they didn’t talk about their future together.

Maddie wouldn’t allow it.

Once, Nick tried to bring it up, but she silenced him. He didn’t push, and she was grateful. Though she knew that, sooner or later, it was something they’d have to discuss. She loved Nick with all her heart and couldn’t imagine a future without him. But there were a number of things still unsettled.

Things such as Roger and her career.

She harbored no illusions about her feelings toward Roger. Whatever she’d once felt for him had died when he’d turned his back on her. But he was Lily’s father, and she needed to face him and learn his intentions, if any, regarding his daughter.

As for her career, she knew she could never be content without some kind of professional work. Yet the idea of returning to Miami held no appeal. Living in Felton, reading her old journals and working with Carl Katz, had awakened an old dream. She wanted to write. But had she waited too long and lost whatever talent she might have once possessed?

So she put Nick off, even though she fell a little more in love with him every day.

Summer was nearly over when Maddie took Carl her first real attempt at fiction in nearly seventeen years. Waiting for him to finish reading, she tapped her fingers against the ink-stained counter.

“If you don’t stop that,” Carl snapped, “you’re going to wake the baby, and then you’ll have to wait outside.”

Maddie snatched her hand away from the counter. “Sorry.”

Carl grunted and returned to his reading.

Maddie moved to the window facing the street and folded her arms around the sleeping baby in the sling-carrier on her chest. Late summer. A lazy time of the year. The days stretched forever, long and hot, achingly the same.

She turned away from the window and walked back over to the counter, careful to keep her hands against Lily’s back. Carl sat hunched over the typed manuscript she’d given him. She chewed on her bottom lip, waiting.

“Is it any good?” she blurted at last.

“If you’d let me finish it, I could tell you.”

“Sorry.”

Again the grunt.

Maddie moved back to the window and stared out at the nearly deserted street. Forever. He was taking forever just to torment her.

“Interesting.”

Carl’s voice brought her around and she moved to sit in the chair next to his desk. “Interesting?”

Carl nodded.

“What does that mean?” Maddie had the strongest urge to strangle him.

“It means you haven’t lost your touch. Only,” he peered at her over the rims of his glasses, “it looks like now you finally have something to say.”

Maddie broke into a huge grin and, remembering the sleeping baby, just barely stopped herself letting out a whoop. “Is there anything you can do with it?”

“Well I could print it in the Finder …”

“But?”

“It would be a waste.” Carl tapped the manuscript. “If you’re willing to do a little work, clean it up some, I might get somebody at a magazine to look at it. I still have a connection or two.”

“Anything.” Maddie inched forward in her chair. “I’ll do anything you say.”

Carl let out a short laugh. “That’ll be a first. When you’re through with it, I’ll edit it.”

“Thanks, Carl.” Maddie rose from her chair and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re the best.”

Carl turned crimson and waved her away. “Go on, get out of here before that baby wakes up.”

Maddie left, grinning from ear to ear.

It was only a short story—a small piece about a mother and daughter coming together after years of hostility. The idea had come to her right after Lily’s birth. She’d written it in two days while her child napped, but it had taken her weeks to get up the nerve to show it to Carl. Now she couldn’t believe she’d waited so long. Carl’s approval had given her hope. True, it was only one small story, but it was a start. It gave her direction and a new dream for her future.

It was a rare afternoon of quiet. Nick had gone out to his unfinished house north of town. He had a builder interested in buying the property and completing the house. Jon was off somewhere with Anna, and Maddie’s mother was playing bridge.

Maddie found she liked the solitude, as long as it was short-lived. Usually, she had to compete with three other people to do things for her daughter.

Lily had just drifted off to sleep in her arms when the doorbell rang. The baby stirred, but Maddie held her close, rocking her gently and murmuring soothing words.

“There you go, sweetheart.” Maddie lay the sleeping infant in her crib, taking another moment to rub the baby’s back. The doorbell rang again, and Maddie swore she was going to have the damn thing disconnected. “Sleep tight.”

Tiptoeing out of the room, she pulled the door partially closed behind her and hurried down the stairs before whoever was ringing the bell could do it again. Out of habit, she glanced out the side window and came to a dead stop. It was a few moments before she could breathe again. She slowly opened the front door.

“Hello, Maddie.”

At first she couldn’t say anything. Nothing had prepared her to see Roger standing on her front porch, his arms laden with boxes wrapped in pink paper and bright pink bows.

“How are you?” he asked.

Maddie found her voice. “Fine. I’m fine.”

“May I come in?” He lifted his arms a little to imply the packages were heavy.

Maddie stepped aside, wishing to God she had the nerve to tell him to get lost.

Roger stepped through the door. “Where can I put these?”

“On the table will be fine.”

He set the gifts on the hall table, and Maddie closed the door behind him. He looked out of place in her small foyer, despite the new paint and freshly finished floors. He looked too … polished. Yes, that was it. Then she brushed the thought off as ridiculous. Roger looked exactly as he’d always looked. Handsome. Well-groomed. Dressed impeccably in perfectly pressed khaki trousers and a polo shirt.

“Quaint,” he said after taking a moment to glance around.

Folding her arms, Maddie leaned against the staircase railing. “What are you doing here, Roger?”

He looked embarrassed, glancing away while sliding his hands into his pockets. “I, uh, got your announcement.”

“Oh, yes. That.” Maddie had sent out birth announcements, and although a vindictive streak within her considered not sending one to Roger, in the end, she’d relented. After all, he was Lily’s father. “You could have called and told me you were coming.”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“You succeeded.”

Maddie moved away from him, into the parlor. She needed a little space and a place to sit down.

Roger followed but remained standing. “Where is she?” he asked, after a few minutes of silence.

“I just put her down for a nap.”

“Can I see her?”

“Why the sudden interest?”

“Look, Maddie—” Roger spread his hands and sat on the couch across from her “—I know I haven’t been the most supportive—”

Maddie burst out laughing.

“Look, I’m here to make amends.” Roger abandoned his seat on the couch, his posture rigid with indignation. “If we can’t talk about this civilly, I’ll leave and have my lawyer give you a call in the morning.”

“Your lawyer?” It was the thing she feared most—that he might try to claim their daughter. She came forward in her chair, months of suppressed anger flaring to the surface. “Is that some kind of threat?”

Roger held up his hands and took a step back. “No. I didn’t mean that. I just want to talk. Please, Maddie.”

For a moment, she glared at him, wanting nothing more than to tell him to get the hell out of her house. Then she sank back in the love seat, her anger dissolving as quickly as it had flared.

Roger had given her Lily.

Despite all the pain he’d caused her, he’d given her something wonderful, something perfect. How could she hate him?

“Okay,” she said finally. “Let’s talk.”

“Good.” Roger visibly relaxed and settled back onto the couch. He took a few minutes, studying his hands, as if trying to decide the best way to begin the conversation. When at last he looked up at her, he wore an expression of warmth and humility. Carefully constructed, Maddie thought. “Things have been going very well for me since you left,” he said. “I’ve been offered the directorship of the Berlin office.”

“That’s quite a coup. Congratulations.”

“Of course it means more money. More prestige.”

“What does this have to do with Lily?”

Roger looked a little taken aback. “I want you to come with me. As my wife.”

Nothing could have shocked her more. Even his showing up on her doorstep hadn’t prepared her for the possibility that Roger might want to marry her after all this time. “Why?”

Roger’s face registered shock. “Why what?”

“Why do you want us to come to Berlin with you?”

“Isn’t it what you want? I ran into Tom Brando the other day. He said they can’t wait for you to come back to work.”

“Brando wants me back so I can cover his mistakes.”

Roger stared at her blankly, obviously at a loss for words. Maddie had never spoken ill of Tom Brando. He was her boss, and one of Roger’s strongest supporters in the company, but sometime during the past few months, corporate politics had lost its importance to her. As had Roger.

“I’m not going with you to Berlin.”

Her words brought him out of his stunned state. “Now, Maddie, I know things have been a little strained between us. But we can work it out.”

She shook her head. “No. I don’t think so.”

Just then, she heard the low rumble of a truck pulling up outside. Nick had promised to stop over after his meeting with the builder. Maddie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. For once, she wished Nick hadn’t kept his word. She imagined him climbing out of his truck, barely noticing the strange car parked out front, and making his way up her walk. She heard him take the steps two at a time and cross the porch, then the quick single knock on her front door before it swung open.

“Hey, Mads.” Nick stepped into the foyer and caught sight of her on the couch. With a huge smile, he headed into the room. “Just wait’ll—” He came to an abrupt stop as Roger rose from the couch and turned. Silence.

The only sound in the room was the pounding of her heart as the two men faced each other. Maddie focused on Nick, though he hadn’t so much as blinked an eye in her direction since spotting Roger. She registered his initial shock, and then both were gone. Hidden. He stood immobile, his face a picture of stoic calm.

“Roger,” she said, breaking the silence. Still, neither man moved. “This is Dr. Nick Ryan. He’s an old friend and the doctor who delivered Lily. Nick. This is Roger Day.” She hesitated, wishing she didn’t have to say the last two words. “Lily’s father.”

Nick moved first, extending his hand while dread settled in the pit of his stomach. “Roger.” His tone sounded civil enough, despite the spark of anger stirring within him. “You have a beautiful daughter.” Roger took Nick’s hand. “Too bad you weren’t around for the delivery.”

Roger’s smile faded. “I don’t plan to miss much else.”

Nick kept his gaze locked on the other man, unwilling to be the first to break the handshake. Maddie cleared her throat, breaking the tension, and Roger pulled his hand from Nick’s.

“Please, Dr. Ryan,” Roger said, motioning toward the couch as he sat next to Maddie on the love seat. “Sit down.”

Nick nodded, fighting the urge to grab hold of this guy and ask him where the hell he’d been for the past six months. Instead, he asked, “Did you drive up from Miami?”

“Heavens, no.” Roger smiled broadly. “I flew into Atlanta and then drove up.”

Nick had seen this guy before. Or at least a dozen others like him. Slick. Polished. And as phony as a three-dollar bill. “So when are you going back?”

Roger lost any pretense of a smile. “That depends.”

“You still have time before dark.”

“I don’t think so.” His mouth curled up at the corners. “You see, Maddie and I were just making wedding plans.”

Nick’s gaze snapped to Maddie, but all her attention was on the man sitting next to her.

She looked stunned. “Wedding plans?”

“Well, we haven’t exactly set a date yet.” Roger smiled and reached down to put a possessive hand on Maddie’s thigh. “We were just getting around to that.”

Maddie shifted away from his hand, her gaze sliding to Nick. “That’s not—”

“I tell you what.” Nick rose from his chair, feeling his world crumbling around him. “How about if I take off? Then the two of you can sort things out.”

“There’s no reason to rush off, Doctor.”

“Isn’t there?”

Roger stood and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Well, Maddie and I do have a lot to discuss.”

Nick looked at Maddie. “Yes. I suppose you do.”

“Nick, I …” He heard the plea in Maddie’s voice. He would have liked to ignore it, but couldn’t. “Roger’s right. We have a lot to discuss. We’ll talk later.”

Nick stood for a moment, searching her face for something that would make him stay. All it would take was one word and he’d toss this guy out on his ear. But all he saw was a dark cloud of determination that ripped at his heart.

“Yeah. Later.” Nodding to Roger, he headed for the door.

Maddie closed her eyes as the door slammed behind him.

“Who the hell was that?” Roger demanded.

She couldn’t look at him. “I told you. An old friend.”

“Come on, Maddie. Who are you kidding? The minute I turn my back, you take up with some hometown boy.”

Her anger boiled over. “What right did you have to tell him we were getting married?”

“Well, aren’t we?”

“No!”

“Look, Maddie,” Roger said, sitting back down next to her and slipping an arm around her waist. “I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distant—”

“A little distant.” Maddie deserted the love seat. “Roger, you were absent. Utterly and totally absent. And I’m not going to marry you.”

“Now, Maddie.” Roger stood and moved toward her. “You’re angry, and I understand how you feel, but—”

“You don’t have the faintest idea how I feel.” Maddie backed away from him. “I don’t love you. I wonder now if I ever did. And I don’t want you in my life.”

“Please, Maddie. You’re upset.” Roger made another attempt to close the distance between them, but again, she stepped out of reach.

“The only reason you’re suddenly interested in Lily and me is because of your new job.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it? Don’t forget, I know the business as well as you do. Directors have wives and families. What did you have to tell the big boys in New York to get your offer?”

“Nothing. Everyone knows I’m engaged.”

Maddie leaned down to pick up a baby toy from the floor and drop it into the playpen. “Well, then, I guess you’d better find yourself another fiancée.”

Roger stood rigidly still for several minutes while Maddie continued picking up Lily’s things. Finally, she sat on the couch and looked at him, waiting for his next attack. She knew him too well to think this was over. Roger didn’t like to lose.

“This is because of him, isn’t it?”

Maddie arched an eyebrow. “Him?”

“This is your petty way of getting back at me. Taking up with some country doctor.”

Maddie fought down the anger. It would only get in her way when dealing with Roger. “This has nothing to do with Nick.”

“Oh, no?” She recognized the glint in his eyes, the streak of ruthlessness that had gotten him through the corporate jungle and won him a director’s chair. “As the baby’s father, I’m sure I’m entitled to certain privileges. Extended visitation rights, that sort of thing. Who knows, I may even be granted custody.”

“I don’t think so,” Maddie stated, still struggling with her anger, as well as the panic inching its way into her thoughts. “You’re not interested in Lily.”

He remained quiet, an intimidation strategy she’d seen him use often, and forced herself to remain calm. “In fact, I think you should give up your rights to her.”

“Why should I?”

“Because you don’t want to spend the next six months in court.” Maddie rose from the couch to face him. “Custody battles take time. And I suspect you need to get to Berlin.”

Roger laughed harshly. “Don’t try and bluff me, Maddie. You can’t afford a custody battle.”

“Oh, didn’t I ever tell you about my mother? She’s from an old Southern family, with lots of old Southern money.” Maddie shrugged and crossed her arms. “I hate taking anything from her, but if it’s for Lily …”

Roger stood still for a very long time, and Maddie could almost see the wheels working inside his head. Above all else, Roger was ambitious. And practical. She was counting on those attributes. “Keep the kid,” he said with a sneer. “I don’t need the headaches.”

“That’s what I thought.” Maddie held his gaze. “I’ll have the papers drawn up and sent to Miami by the end of the week.” Turning her back to him, she moved to the window. “Goodbye, Roger.

After a few minutes of silence, she heard him leave the room and close the front door behind him. She watched through the window as he climbed into his rental car and drove away. Only then did she allow herself to surrender to the emotions that overwhelmed her. She stumbled to the couch and sat, trembling, her head in her hands. The tears that fell between her fingers were not tears of sadness. They were tears of relief.

It was over.

Roger wouldn’t come back. She knew that as certainly as she knew she’d never regret her time with him because it had given her Lily. He’d sign away his rights to her daughter, and Maddie would be free to build a home for Lily based on love, not convenience.

Now she needed to find Nick.

An hour later, she drove into the clearing on top of the hill overlooking Felton. She knew he’d be here. She saw him the minute she pulled in. He sat on a rock at the edge of the cliff, looking out at the hills and valleys below.

He didn’t turn when she got out of the car or even when she walked up behind him—though she had no doubt he knew she was there. The muscles along his shoulders tensed, and she stilled the urge to massage away the strain.

“Jon and Anna are watching Lily.”

Nick remained silent.

She moved to sit next to him. “They were on their way to a movie. But I bribed them.”

“Say what you’ve come here to say and be done with it.”

“Are you so sure you know why I’m here, Nick?”

He met her gaze, his eyes dark and hurt.

She could no longer resist the urge to touch him. She reached up and ran her fingers along the tense muscles of his cheek. “Don’t you know how I feel about you?”

His eyes softened. “I’ve always known.”

“Then why are you so sure I’d marry Roger?”

“I know how much you want a family.” He pulled her hand away from his face and held it tight against his thigh. “How much it means to you to give Lily what you never had.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing? You and I? Giving both of our children the home we never knew?”

He searched her face, and she saw the despair giving way to hope. “And Lily’s father?”

“You’re Lily’s father. In every way that counts.” She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. “As for Roger, he’s on his way to Berlin.”

She teased his lips again, hearing his groan as he deepened the kiss, pulling her hard against his chest. “I was so sure I’d lost you,” he said a few moments later.

“Never.” Maddie nipped at his mouth. “Marry me.”

He pulled away just enough to look into her eyes. “Are you sure, Maddie? Really sure?”

Maddie reached up between them and pressed her open hand to his chest. “This is where I belong, Nick. Where I’ve always belonged. This is where my heart is.”