His Wallflower White by Tammy Andresen

Chapter Nine

Millie stoodby the kitchen door, peeking out the high window that looked out into the garden. After today, she didn’t dare wait outside.

It was late and most of the staff had retired but she didn’t really like standing here either. Someone might see her.

But she saw a figure enter the gate, looking about. He moved closer to the house and even the darkness, she recognized Patrick.

Unlocking the kitchen door, she slipped outside.

He grimaced when he saw her. “Millie?”

“It’s me.”

He reached for her hand and she slipped her fingers into his, allowing him to draw her closer. “I wish you hadn’t come.”

“You asked me to,” she replied even as he settled her body close to his. Her breath rushed out to feel him and she relaxed into the embrace.

“Yes, but that was before I knew that the man we saw today was your brothers’ enemy.”

She winced at that. “Right.”

He brushed his fingers along her temple, pushing a stray hair back. “In fact, I think you should stop your investigation. It’s getting dangerous.”

She stiffened, moving away from him. “Stop my investigation? Why?”

“What do you mean why? Parricide was singularly focused on you today. He’s likely watching you, too. You can’t go traipsing off at night.”

His words rang with truth that she hated. “But my future. Did you know that my brothers have already thrown a suitor at me? It’s only a matter of time before they do so again.”

“Millie,” he spoke softly, soothingly. “I’m afraid you’ll have no future at all if you keep taking risks.”

She placed her hands on his chest, relaxing a bit at those words. He wanted what was best for her. She knew that. But she also wanted her brothers to understand that she was capable of making her own choices of being part of their work. “We could investigate Parricide. We know what he looks like.”

“No,” Patrick answered. “It’s too dangerous for you to be galivanting about London at night.”

“You could go then,” she replied. She could hear the desperation lacing her voice. “I could tell you what to look for.” She pressed her hands to his chest. “My offer still stands. The ring. I can pay you—”

“Millie,” he bit out. “I should be here, keeping you safe. Your brothers are not going to marry you off now. Not until all of this settles down.”

That was an excellent point, but this felt like her opportunity to change her future. “I won’t have a chance like this again. The opportunity to prove I’m more valuable here working with them than I am married off to some stranger. Please.”

He shook his head. “They’ll see your talent, Millie. How could they not? Your skill with numbers alone is astounding.” He wanted to stroke his hand down the velvet of her cheek. “I know I’ve been helping you, but Parricide seeking you out today changes everything.”

She stepped out of his grasp then, and he let her go. Anger bubbled inside her. Regret, too. She’d prefer to have his aid.

And something in his rejection of her plea felt personal. As though he were rejecting her. Which was silly. She’d hired him. But then, she’d kissed him, too.

And somewhere amongst all of this, she realized that he made her feel things she’d never experienced in her entire life.

Like Chloe and Ben.

Millie was falling in love.

She clasped a hand over her mouth. No! She couldn’t allow it. Not now.

She already had information her brothers needed. She had the opportunity to gather more. She’d prove to them her place was by their side, helping to run the dukedom. Not off being some man’s wife.

But her heart hammered in her chest as she looked at Patrick. He was the sort of man who made her feel safe. Who, until tonight, had understood her need to spread her wings and had helped her.

“What are you thinking?” he asked reached out to lightly brush her elbow with his fingers. “You’re uncommonly quiet.”

“That’s funny,” she answered. “Most people think of me as always uncommonly quiet.”

“Most people are idiots.”

She smiled then. In some ways he did understand her. But she couldn’t allow herself to succumb to her feelings. Not now. To do so would mean she’d have to resign herself to a life of matrimony to a man who may or may not be of her choosing.

Unless she chose a man first. Beat her brothers to the punch, so to speak. That was another option. “What will you do…after this? Will you go back to fighting?”

“Not if I can help it,” he said, looking into the darkness. “I’ve been saving. I’m going to start my own business, take care of my sister.”

That was…beautiful. Her insides ached thinking about his kindness, his heart. “Will you marry? Have children?”

He shrugged, still not looking at her. “Millie.” His voice held a warning. “I can barely support myself.”

He’d rejected her gentle foray. He didn’t want her to ask more. “I understand.”

Tears pricked at the back of her eyes, but she refused to allow them to fall. He didn’t wish to marry her. She should have known that.

It was on the tip of her tongue to offer him more jewelry but then…she’d be buying his hand in marriage. How would that end if her heart was on the line?

None of the men in her life loved her the way she loved them. Her father. Even her brother, Ben, had left her for a long time. Justice and Sayden, too.

Her breath caught. Was she afraid to marry because of their abandonment, emotionally and physically? Did she fear that he’d be another man who didn’t really care about her? Was she unlovable?

* * *

Patrick sensed a change in Millie.

She’d gone from angry, to pleading to…

He wasn’t entirely certain. He wanted to say frightened but of what? “Millie, what’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

“Something,” he answered. His promise to Justice still rang in his head. He’d treat Millie with the utmost respect. Which meant keeping his hands and his mouth to himself.

But in this moment, what he most wanted to do was hold her against his chest. And then he wanted to kiss her worries away.

She’d asked him about his future.

Did she fancy him the way he did her? Perhaps. She’d allowed him liberties, he knew that. But she wasn’t thinking this through.

Could he marry her and move her into his warehouse by the docks? Even Justice had found the place revolting.

“What is it?” he asked again.

She shook her head and then she moved closer. Slowly, she raised up on her tiptoes, her hands against his chest, balancing her body as she moved so slowly, he wondered briefly if he imagined it.

But then her lips were a breath away from his, her chin notched up so that the column of her neck was exposed. He trailed his fingers down the column, nearly groaning out loud at the silky smoothness of her skin.

And then her lips pressed to his. Soft and slow, the light kiss stole the air from his lungs and the reason from his mind.

He gathered her closer, deepening the kiss, breathing in her fresh scent and the lush curves of her body.

And when he tilted her mouth opened and brushed his tongue along her bottom lip, he felt her tremble. His own body roared in satisfaction.

He cradled the back of her head in his large hand, letting his fingers settle amongst the mass of strands collected at her nape.

And when his tongue made another pass, hers met his in a tentative exploration that made desire swell like a tide inside him.

He wanted this woman. More than he’d wanted anything in his life. Part of him cried out to take her and make her his.

Could he forget that he had no home? No real means of supporting her?

It wasn’t fair to her. Which was the thought that made him pull back, slowly, savoring his last taste of her.

“Patrick?” she said, her voice breathless.

The sound made him weak all over again. “Millie.”

She swallowed. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do for me.”

Had she read his thoughts? “How so?”

Her hands slid up around his neck. “Justice said that you agreed to stay here.”

He grimaced. Being so close to her was the last thing he wanted to think about.

“But as you’ve stated, you don’t wish to marry and you don’t want to help me any longer…”

“That’s not what I said.”

“You did, in fact, say you didn’t wish to wed.”

He cupped her cheek. “What I meant is that I’m not in a position to support a wife. It’s not a matter of wishing…”

Her mouth opened and then closed. “I see.”

“And I most definitely wish to help you. I just don’t want to engage in any behavior that might compromise your safety or ruin your reputation.”

Her hands slipped from his neck. “Of course.”

She turned her face to the side, her delicate profile standing out in the dim light. He brought his thumb to her lips, tracing the curve. “I don’t blame you for worrying about the future. If Justice were in charge of my fate, I’d be worried, too.”

The corner of her mouth turned up. “Ben and Dez mean well. But you should have seen the suitor they tried to push on me before. And this new man they’ve found...” Her nose wrinkled.

The very idea of it, made his heart pound. It was one thing to know that supporting Millie would be difficult another to consider her married to another man.

“But that isn’t your concern,” she said and then she slid back out of his embrace. “You’re right. I should go inside.”

Had he said that?

“Thank you for the kiss,” she murmured. “It was lovely. I shall remember it always.”

His gaze narrowed. Where was she going with all this? “Millie, you don’t have to thank me for anything. What’s more, I’ll help you however I can.”

She shook her head. “You’ve got obligations to my brothers. And you’ve helped me already. I think I might actually know what I want from the future.”

His chest squeezed, his pulse speeding up. “And what is that?”

She shook her head. “I hope you get to start your business.”

“Why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye?”

But she didn’t answer. Instead, she turned and fled.