Beast’s Demands by Sam Crescent

Chapter Seventeen

Ashley

 

I’d always hated the movies where the girl was completely dependent on a man for happiness. I loved a good happy ending where there was love and romance. But doing absolutely nothing because of heartbreak pissed me off.

Now, I was the joke.

I was the person I hated most.

I sat on a window ledge, looking out at the garden. Crude Hill was an awful place. I fucking hated it, but it had lots of beauty surrounding it. My mom had loved this place. She’d been so happy to have finally gotten a place here. She hadn’t held the pleasure for long.

Long enough for her to have gotten a taste.

Me, I liked it here, but it wasn’t home.

Crude Hill had way too many memories and a lot of loss.

Each day, I woke up determined not to let it get to me. To get over the words Earl had said to me. I’d known it to be true even before he spoke them.

I’d been waiting for them. He’d helped to turn me into something I hate.

The phone wasn’t going to ring because he’d made a mistake. Emily tried to help, she did. I’d turned into her, only seven years later. She was the happy one, and I was the miserable one. I hated myself. They were happy, and I put a downer on everything. It was why I stayed in my room.

I’d tried to eat dinner with them. The happiness and conversation emitted from the five of them had been too much. Emily had four men at her beck and call. I couldn’t even keep one man interested in me.

Being surrounded by all that love made me feel sick and full of failure.

What kind of man would want me?

I swiped at the tears threatening to keep falling. I wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t give the tears the satisfaction of falling, but they did.

I’d gone through too many hankies and tissue because of my pain. I rubbed at my chest and still, it hurt so badly.

A knock pulled me out of my depression. I called for them to enter, expecting it to be Emily. It wasn’t.

Drake stepped inside.

He walked toward me and plopped himself down opposite. “I heard you were back.”

“Good for you,” I said.

“I take it you’re not good company.” He didn’t make any show of leaving.

Even as I glared at him, wanting to get him as far away from me as humanly possible, it didn’t help.

“Why are you here?”

“You don’t call or write, and you don’t eat anymore. I came to see if you were dead.”

“You’re not funny.”

“I’m not intending to be funny. I don’t know any jokes or anything.” He folded his arms across his chest.

I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. “Can you please just leave me alone?” I asked. I didn’t even know why I was attempting to be polite. This man was an asshole in school. I didn’t care what Emily said, it wouldn’t change who he was. The man was just a bigger one now than ever before.

“Does everyone do what you ask them to do?” he asked.

My thoughts went to Earl, and I shook my head. “No.”

“You know, I don’t know why you’re angry. Shouldn’t you be happy about being let go?”

“Drake, please, go away.”

“Not happening, doll. I just don’t understand it. This guy only ever wanted your virginity, and I’m guessing because you’re sitting up here moping, not eating, and scaring Emily half to death, there has to be another reason.”

Tears filled my eyes, and with each word he spoke, my heart began to shatter.

“Right from the start, you knew this was a done deal. You weren’t anything special to him, and a woman’s hymen isn’t going to last long. One good fuck, and it’s gone.”

“Enough!” I screamed the word, hoping he’d shut up. “I get that I wasn’t important to him. Okay? I understand that all I was to him was a piece of virginal flesh. A cherry for him to pop. I’m so sorry I can’t be a mechanical asshole and not have feelings. He was doing what he wanted to do, and I fell in love with the fucking bastard. There, will that make you happy? Will that get you to leave me the fuck alone so I can be miserable in peace?” Each word got louder as my rage took over. I was so upset, I just couldn’t stop it, and saying how I loved him out loud only served to make it worse.

Covering my face with my hands, I sobbed.

I couldn’t stop.

The truth was I was so fucking heartbroken. Even though I’d spent all of my time with Earl knowing I was going to be let go of and tossed aside, the actual fact of it hurt. I’d tried to protect myself, but it didn’t work. I’d fallen in love with a man who would never, not in a million years, love me back.

I jerked back as Drake wrapped his arms around me. It was so unexpected, and I tried to pull away.

“I’m not going to hurt you. Just holding you. Let it out.”

I didn’t trust this. Drake wasn’t a good man, at least not the last time I met him, and yet, he held me as I sobbed out my pain.

It hurt so badly. I couldn’t control it. I’d never experienced this kind of hurt. Even my mother’s selfishness couldn’t compare to the pain I felt right now.

Drake stroked my hair, and I don’t know how much time had passed, but eventually, the tears stopped coming. The pain didn’t.

My chest was hollow. I was so unhappy.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“No, I’m really not okay.”

“Look. I know this isn’t my place to say, but locking yourself up here, not eating, you won’t heal this way.”

I tucked some hair behind my ear. “What makes you such an expert?” I asked. It wasn’t spiteful or mean, just fact.

“Easy, I understand it.”

“You’ve been heartbroken?”

“No, but I’ve been hurt. It’s not the same kind of level, but I understand you, Ashley. We all do on some level. Even Emily. It’s breaking her heart to see you like this.”

“I can leave,” I said. “I don’t want to hurt or upset anyone. I’m trying to get through it. I even promised myself I wouldn’t feel anything for him. He’s a horrible person, and he does horrible things.”

Drake got up and grabbed a few tissues, handing them back to me, and I blew my nose on them.

“You’re up and walking again,” I said.

“Don’t turn this on to me. I’m fine and I heal fast. Just because he did horrible things doesn’t mean you can’t love the person. He hasn’t been horrible to you.”

“No, because fucking me and dumping me is a way of life.”

“Then don’t give him chance to think he won,” Drake said. “You’ve got your life. He didn’t dump you at one of his auctions. You ever thought that maybe Earl did love you?”

“No, he didn’t.”

Drake sighed. “He loved you enough to let you go. To start a life for yourself. He didn’t kill you, nor did he sell you. That’s a pretty big step forward from the shit I’ve heard about him.”

He had a point.

Still, if Earl had loved me, would he have really let me go?

I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t believe it. He wasn’t the kind of man to let a woman go just because he felt like it.

“Thank you,” I said.

Drake’s cell phone began to buzz. “I’ve got to deal with this. We’ll talk again, right?”

“Of course. Unless you turn into a creepy guy between now and then.”

“Try to eat something. Try to do something other than sit here crying.” He surprised me even more as he stood up, cupped my face, and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I watched this man have a temper tantrum in high school. This cool, calm, collected person in his place didn’t seem real to me.

I watched him go and went back to staring out of the window.

As I watched the garden, I couldn’t help but acknowledge he had a point. If Earl didn’t feel a single thing for me, then he would’ve sold me to the next bidder. I didn’t know what good I would’ve been, seeing as I was used goods and all.

I had to look at the positives, even though they made me want to burst into tears at a moment’s notice.

I was alive. Earl didn’t love me, but he had cared. It meant something just to know he cared, even if it was just a smidge. It was something.

Getting to my feet, I decided against staying in my bedroom.

My heartache had been so acute, but it hadn’t stopped me from showering, so I didn’t stink or anything. Leaving my bedroom, I didn’t encounter Emily or her men. I nodded at the guards they had on different exits and entrances. No one stopped me as I got to the doorway into the garden.

It was nice weather. A slight chill in the air, but the sunshine glowed down.

Stepping out, I wrapped my arms around myself and walked toward the grassy area. I had a pair of sneakers on, and I took them off, allowing myself to feel the cool chill of the ground beneath my toes.

So good. Everything was different now.

My chest still felt hollow, and I didn’t know if I’d ever feel any kind of happiness, but getting up, moving forward, and accepting what it was were all parts of the process.

I was going to get through this.

One day, I’d forget about Earl, and I hoped I’d fall out of love with the bastard as well.

After spending a long time out in the garden, I made my way into the kitchen and became reacquainted with all the ingredients on offer. There were so many, and my mouth salivated at the thought of cooking.

Once I’d rolled up the sleeves of my shirt, I got to chopping. I was thinking a chickpea spiced stew with couscous.

I started with an onion, going through the mechanics of chopping and dumping them into the large cast-iron casserole pot I had.

It didn’t take long for the smells to bring guests.

Emily arrived first. Her mouth fell open as she looked at me. “Ashley, what are you doing?”

“Do you not want me to cook?”

“No, of course not. It’s good to see you cooking.”

I smiled at her.

She took a seat at the counter, putting her chin on her hands. “It has been too long since you cooked.”

To help me get through it, I vowed not to think of him. It was how I was going to survive.

With the bell peppers chopped, the onions sweating down, I got to work on the garlic. I hated the smell of raw garlic, but it was a necessity in cooking and couldn’t be overlooked. With the garlic smashed, I ran my knife through it, and that was when Gael and Vadik joined.

“I wondered what smelled so good,” Gael said.

“Just some home cooking. Nothing special.” I put the garlic off to the side and then grabbed the necessary spices. I looked through the collection they had and made a few selections.

I didn’t know what kind of meal I was going for and just started to add an array of them, starting with a small cinnamon stick. That went into the pot, followed by some paprika, cumin, and a couple more spices.

When I next looked up, Caleb and River had joined.

“Is it so odd for someone to be cooking in your kitchen?” I asked.

Emily chuckled. “It’s odd for you to be out of your room. You know, after everything.”

I smiled. It didn’t feel quite as forced, but it also wasn’t as happy either. I wasn’t over what happened. “Does Drake do some counseling in between his work for you guys?” I asked.

“Not that I’m aware of, why?”

“Let’s just say he helped to draw me out.”

“Drake did?” Gael asked.

I nodded.

“Well, fuck me. That guy is pretty useful after all.” He let out a snort.

“A man of many talents,” Caleb said.

“Yeah, and I know you’ve guys have been really nice putting up with me and all, but I was wondering if it would be at all possible to go back to England?” I’d been thinking about this all afternoon, and it was where I wanted to go.

“England?” Emily asked.

“Yeah.” I looked between all five of them, and they seemed a little surprised. “Is everything okay?”

“England’s not your home,” Gael said.

“Actually, it is. Crude Hill isn’t my home. I don’t belong here.”

“Ashley, this is your home.”

“No, it wasn’t. My mom lived here to fuck your dad easily. She wanted a good life, and she got it. I totally understand what she wanted, but I’m not her. This life isn’t mine. There is nothing here for me, and I don’t want to stay here, waiting to see if you’ll marry me off or something.”

“That would never happen,” Emily said, slamming her hand on the counter.

The last thing I wanted to do in the world was upset her. She was heavily pregnant.

“I don’t mean it like that. You’ve all got a job around here, and I cook. That’s it. I’m not designed for this life with you all. My mom dragged me into your world, and with the threat now gone, don’t you see? I should be able to survive without any of you, right? I can go back to England, but as myself. I don’t even have to go to London. I can go anywhere. I just, that place felt more like home than this one. It’s time for me to move forward, not look back. Earl made his choice.”

Emily got to her feet and came toward me. I’d already added some tomatoes to the pot as well as some good vegetable stock. It smelled amazing, and I was hungry.

My best friend pulled me into her arms.

“I don’t want you to go. I don’t think it’s fair.”

I wrapped my arms around her. “I know, but this isn’t about you. It’s about me, and I know I can’t truly heal being here. He’s not coming back, Em. I need to do this for myself. Please.”

Emily pulled away enough to cup my face. Tears glistened in her eyes, but I wasn’t going to back down. I’d made my decision. Crude Hill had offered me nothing but pain, from my mom, Emily’s dad, and now Earl. I needed to leave. To find my own roots, to find my own way of life.

“Fine. We’ll help every single step of the way. You’re always going to be family to me, Ash. Blood or not, I’ll help you.”

****

Earl

 

“What do you want me to do?” Caleb asked.

I didn’t want him to talk. He’d already said enough, and now I was pissed off. Sitting in my office, in my kingdom with the Knight threat close at hand, this wasn’t the news I wanted to hear.

“This is what she wants?” I asked.

“This was all Ashley’s suggestion. Nothing Emily or we say is going to change that. She wants a clean break.”

Against the Monsters’ Crew liking, I’d found a way to get regular updates about my woman. I’d asked them first, but they’d refused. Then I’d gone to Emily. After that, I’d reached out to Drake.

They were all loyal to the Monsters’ Crew and to Ashley. So I’d had no choice but to hire someone to find out how my woman was doing.

Ashley had struggled.

No, she was downright fucking in pain. I didn’t know how they managed to get close to her, but I’d been sent a video of the noises coming from her room. The man I’d hired had turned up dead with the Monsters telling me not to send anyone else or they’d all end up the same way.

We were all kings in our world, and working together proved difficult. The fact Caleb was even giving me this call was a giant fucking leap.

“Why are you calling me now?” I asked.

“I didn’t have to call you,” he said.

I wanted to drag his ass right in front of me so I could pound it. Then he’d be done with his smartass answers.

“I know what you didn’t have to do, fucking prick. I want to know why you’re contacting me now when you told me to stay the hell away.”

I’d dropped Ashley off, and once I returned to my penthouse, I had given in and called to see how she was doing.

I got nothing.

The truth was, I shouldn’t be calling Caleb. I shouldn’t even care what Ashley was doing. I’d made my decision clear. She and I were over. I’d gotten what I wanted, and there was no going back.

Only, staying away from her was proving to be difficult. This wasn’t a decision I’d taken lightly. I hadn’t wanted to get rid of her. Ashley was mine. I still fucking saw her as mine, and one day, she’d be mine again, but until I sorted out the fucked-up problem that was my life, I couldn’t risk her.

People would kill her to spite me. I was the enemy, not her, but she was an easy target. A weakness of mine. One I had to keep protected at all costs.

By severing ties, any connection people had made for her meaning something to me was severed.

“She can’t leave the country,” I said. There was no way I’d be able to fucking survive with her in another country.

I’d lost count of the number of times I’d tried to get to her, only to stop myself when I was so close. I was doing this to protect her. Not because I wanted to.

My apartment was fucking lonely. My bed even more unwelcome. I slept in my office or a hotel room. Women made attempts to come on to me, and I took them back to my hotel room. Not to do anything with. I paid them to shut up. They stayed for an hour, and then I kicked them out.

Whores liked to embellish the truth. They got paid for their silence. I helped to create the image of Ashley meaning nothing to me. The women were nothing. Even having them in my apartment or my office felt like a fucking betrayal. If my grandfather could see me now. He’d consider me a disgrace to him, to men. Women were nothing more than ornaments or toys. To be used and put back until you needed them again.

They were a product. A commodity.

And right now, I was fucking falling apart because the one I wanted now wished to leave the country. To start a life elsewhere, and it was all my fault.

“Hello, Earl? Are you even listening?”

“Shut the fuck up, Caleb.”

The line went dead. The bastard had hung up on me.

Running a hand down my face, I dialed his number and waited for it to ring. It went to voicemail.

“You piece of vile fucking shit.” I called again. If he didn’t answer, I was going to make him pay. I’d drive down there and tear out his balls. I’d make him pay in every single way possible.

Rage rushed to the surface.

I was tired of people getting in my way.

Just as I was about to hang up myself, Caleb answered.

“Now, do you want to use nice words?”

“Listen here, don’t test me.”

“Don’t start.”

“You want to play this game? Hang up on me again, and I’ll make the call that can guarantee Emily’s life is in the fucking balance.” It was a low blow. I could do it. I had the power.

“You wouldn’t do that to Ashley.”

“I think it’s safe to say I will do anything for my woman. Think of what you did to get Emily back. You sold her to me without fucking blinking. No wonder my woman wants to be far away from you. She doesn’t trust any of you.”

“I’m not going to stop Ashley from leaving.”

Damn it. Deep down, I knew he couldn’t stop Ashley. My woman wanted a clean break. From the video I heard, she’d never said the words to me, but in some way, she loved me. Ashley fucking loved me. What she didn’t know was she owned me. All of me, she had me in the palm of her hand. The moment I cleared this shit up, I was coming to get her.

I wasn’t going to be held back.

I loved her so fucking much, and being apart from her, well, the beast within me boiled with a rage unlike anything I’d ever felt. I had to wonder if I should feel sorry for my enemies. The moment I finally got the chance to let loose, they were all going to suffer.

“Everything she wants is hers. I’m paying for it. Guards are to be with her at all times, but she’s not going to know about it. I want to know when she leaves and where she’s going. I’ll have men stationed at each point. Money is all hers. If she needs a job.”

“Earl, you don’t have to tell me any of this. We’ll take care of it. She’s one of ours.”

“No, she’s not yours. She will never be yours. You sold that right to me.”

“And Earl, you gave it back when she landed her ass right back here. This is done. I won’t call again.”

He hung up, and I threw my phone across the room.

I’d find a way to protect Ashley.

She was mine. She didn’t know it yet, but the moment it was right, I was coming for her.