Where We Found Our Home by Natasha Bishop
Lincoln
Well. Shit. I was not expecting her to say no. Not because I think I’m God’s gift to women or anything like that, but because the chemistry between us can’t be ignored.
Except apparently she can ignore it.
Right. There’s that. I watch her tail lights turn out of the parking lot and wonder where I go from here. I actually should have seen this coming. Those walls of hers are still firmly in place.
I won’t ask again. I can’t offer her a serious relationship anyway, and that’s what she deserves. But I will make it my mission to bring those walls of hers tumbling down. Ciara is a beautiful person inside and out. The world would be knocked on its ass if she allowed one hundred percent of her essence to shine through. I want to be the one to coax that beauty out of its cage.
I grab my phone and hesitate before making my next move. Sasha gave me Ciara’s phone number a while ago but I never used it because how fucking creepy is that? In this case, I think I need to be the one to smooth things over before Ciara runs and hides again.
Me: Hey, it’s Lincoln. Sasha gave me your phone number a while ago, I hope that’s okay. I just want to make sure you got home safe.
I send it before I can change my mind.
Walking back inside Neon, it seems like it’s even more crowded than it was moments ago, but everyone feels like they’re moving in slow motion for me. I walk over to Isaiah and tap him on the shoulder. “Hey, you ready to go?”
“Damn, I thought for sure I was gonna be riding home solo tonight. What happened? You puss out again?”
I clap Isaiah on the shoulder. “Not even close. You ready or not?” Zay glances at Nina one more time before following me out.
I’m inside my condo for two minutes when I hear the ping of a text message, and I race to check it like a damn teenage boy.
Ciara: Other than the fact that your sister has no fucking boundaries, yeah no problem lol
Ciara: Yes, I’m home safe
I grin at the screen like she can see me. That’s a start.
“Anyone need a beer while I’m up?” Shane asks the group. I’m spending the afternoon with the guys today, and I’m regretting it because I’m once again the topic of conversation.
“So she said no, huh?” This from Dom.
“Yep.”
“And you’re okay with that?” Kai questions.
“Yep.”
“I call bullshit.” Dom and Kai nod their heads in agreement with Isaiah.
Shane comes back and hands out the beers. “I call bullshit too, man. Your ego’s gotta be wounded.”
“See, that’s where you fuckers are wrong. My ego’s not wounded because I never let my ego enter the conversation. She’s not ready. I respect that. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“And are you ready?” Kai takes a long pull from his beer.
“I mean I’m not saying I wanna head down the aisle or anything. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that. But I’m ready for more than she is and that’s fine.” I’ve come to terms with the fact that I want something with Ciara. A date. A kiss. Anything she’s willing to give me.
“Okay, and what if she’s never ready?” Dom is really trying my patience today. He needs to go back to being the grumpy, quiet guy in the corner.
“Then I guess we’ll just be friends.”
Shane cackles but stops when I don’t join in.
“Oh, you’re serious. Okay.”
“Right. So we’re all on the same page then. I’m gonna bide my time until she’s ready, and if she never gets there, that’s fine too. Okay? Okay. Let’s move the fuck on. What’s going on at work, Shane? You still fighting with that woman in the office? What’s her name?”
A growl escapes his throat. “Lauren. We’re not talking about that Devil woman. Yes, I’m still fighting with her. No, I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Sounds like you two just need to fuck and get it out of your systems,” Kai pipes in with a shrug.
Shane startles. “Bro, didn’t you hear me? I said she’s the Devil. I’m not going there.”
“We’ll see.”
“No the fuck we won’t see.”
I tune the guys out when I see her message come through.
Ciara: Hey, I just wanted to apologize for last night. You’re Sasha’s brother so I don’t want things to be awkward.
Me: Hmm is that the reason you said no to my question?
The dots appear and disappear a few times, and I begin to think I made a mistake asking.
Ciara: No, believe me I’m doing you a favor by saying no
Me: I highly doubt that but don’t worry you don’t owe me any explanations. My fragile heart can take any beatings you throw at me
Ciara: Well that’s comforting
Ciara: *inserts a gif of Fox from Fox and the Hound with the words ‘we’re…we’re still friends, aren’t we?’*
Me: *inserts a gif of Hound from Fox and the Hound with the words ‘best friends’*
Over the next week, Ciara and I take the term best friends to a whole new level. We’re in constant contact. I sit with her at Sasha’s while she writes. We sometimes meet up for lunch, which feels like a date but I don’t want to spook her so I don’t say that. We text and FaceTime all the time. I can feel her opening up to me, and I love every minute of it. She still holds a lot of things close to her chest. Most of her recent history leading up to her move she skips right over, but I’m like a dog looking for table scraps, so I’ll take whatever I can get.
We’re on yet another lunch “not” date today, talking about everything and nothing. “I gotta say when I asked what your stress reliever was, I wasn’t expecting you to say rock climbing.”
She smirks. “And what were you expecting?”
“I don’t know. Yoga, shopping, listening to music, baking, sex. Anything that’s not actually a strenuous activity. How is that a stress reliever?” The server arrives at that moment to drop off our food.
“Leave your toxic masculinity at the door, Linc. Damn, I expect better.”
I throw a fry at her, and the little minx catches it in her mouth.
“That was pretty sexist, huh? I didn’t mean it to be. I just meant rock climbing is really strenuous. I’ve seen people take forty minutes plus to climb a wall, and the frustration on their faces screams anything but relaxed.”
“No, you’re right. I think that’s what I love about it, though. I have to be so focused on what I’m doing I don’t have room for all the other bullshit in my head. Plus, I’m up there and I’m in complete control of my safety. Well, myself and my belayer. It’s a feeling of complete contentment. Whatever I’m feeling, I leave it on the ropes. Simple as that.”
I zero in on the part where she said she’s in complete control of her safety. Something tells me that’s her main draw to rock climbing. What have you been through, Ciara? Let me protect you.
“Well, that’s pretty badass.”
“Thank you. And by the way, sex is a strenuous activity, is it not?”
Calm down, Big Guy.
“Ci, sex can be a religious experience when done right.”
She clenches her thighs ever so slightly, but I catch it. She clears her throat and reaches her dainty hands over to steal a fry off my plate, and I grab her little finger.
“Ciara,” I warn. “I told you the garlic fries here were not to be missed, and you insisted on getting sweet potato fries, and now look at you, over here in my space.”
She jokingly tries to pull her finger from my grasp, but she barely puts up any fight so I know she doesn’t mind. “Okay, but the sweet potato fries were speaking to me at the time, and you didn’t sell the garlic fries correctly! When you said they were really good and I should get them, you neglected to say they were like an orgasm in my mouth. You can’t possibly deny me now.”
“Oh, I think I can.” Especially when you talk about orgasms in your mouth and my dick is fighting against the seams of my jeans.
“Lincoln, I’m gonna get a fry. That’s just the bottom line. So we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. Your choice.”
“I gotta say I’m tempted to find out what this hard way is.”
“Impossible man,” she says with a shake of her head.
I shove my fry basket in her direction because I would gladly give her all my fries, and that thought is fucking wild.
The next day, she’s still on my mind when I’m on shift. We just got back from putting out a structure fire, and I’m bone tired but seeing her text perks me right up.
Ciara: Drums or flats?
Me: You take me for some kind of amateur? Drums all day baby
Ciara: *inserts a gif of James Hardin rolling his eyes and walking away*
Ciara: Welp it was nice knowing you buddy
Me: lol WHO THE FUCK LIKES THE FLATS BEST??
Ciara: I do, Linc. I do. It’s the only correct answer. You heathen. At least tell me what you dip your wings in
Me: A wing that’s made correctly needs no dipping sauce. But I can fuck with some lemon pepper or hot sauce.
Ciara: Okay you have my attention again
Me: Let’s be real I never lost it
Ciara: Impossible man
Me: That’s me. This works though, if we ever get wings I’ll eat the drums like a proper American and you can have my pitiful flats
Ciara: *eye roll emoji* Trash
Ciara: Don’t you have fires to put out? Go back to work sir
Me: Yes ma’am
I try to wipe the smile off my face, but it’s impossible.