Fight For Me by Claudia Burgoa

Chapter Four

Luna

Two weeks later…

The flight attendant announces that we’ll be landing at JFK in only a few minutes. I stare out the window, glad to see the body of water and tiny buildings getting closer by the second. A feverish shiver runs down my spine. This isn’t my first undercover assignment, but the first where I’m with a new team. Though I’ve been working for the chance to be away from my family, now that it’s happening, the jitters are eating me alive.

Things haven’t worked as I planned. The job I wanted didn’t happen. Hazel and Scott called to inform me that my background check came back with an interesting set of training skills, and if I wanted a job in the field, they knew a guy who could use them.

I still recall her phone call. “Hi, Luna Santillan.” I almost threw up when she mentioned my real last name. “This is Hazel calling you in regards to the job position. Unfortunately, your badassery background is not for us, but thank you for applying.” Then, she hung up the phone.

Snobbish bitch. I don’t like her one bit. If I ever see her in New York, I’ll make sure to use my “badassery background” to kick her ass.

Though they ruined my first option, I got a job nonetheless. Following my brother’s advice, I searched for a position at a yoga studio where I could teach and also practice Reiki. It’s so much easier than working for a corporation. Three emails, one long phone conversation, and two signed contracts later, it was confirmed.

I have a job.

This can’t be anything but good news. The planets aligned. The stars shined. At least that’s what I thought until today. Until this moment, when we’re about to land. Thankfully, the wi-fi on the airplane still works. I open one of the Astrology Daily app.

Mars and the sun enter your career sector. As they meet, they point to a real rush of activity and attention to your career or reputation. You’re not content to simply think about or plan out these matters—you want to exploit every opportunity and take charge now.

This is the time to ask for a better position. But beware, people will make more and more demands on your time. It’ll lead to a loss of control of your priorities. Keep your eye on the prize. Find a way to regain normalcy. Refuse to give up; you know a solution is near and a great adventure ahead will once again inspire your heart and soul.

Watch for blind impulsiveness.

I don’t panic, but I text Lucas.

Luna: This might not work out as well as I thought.

Lucas: Why?

Luna: Let me read my daily horoscope on the two other apps.

Lucas: No, no, and no. Stop basing your life on horoscopes.

Lucas: Luna, you’re not seventeen anymore. Why the fuck are you still reading that shit?

I wish he understood me and my quirks instead of criticizing them. Horoscopes center me when I feel lost. It’s the idea of finding answers to questions only a mother would know how to respond to.

Like…Don’t worry, the job is yours. It’ll be fine, maybe hectic at the beginning, but you got this. Be careful, things usually settle after you’ve been there for several days.

At least, that’s what I believe Mom would say if she were with me. I imagine her voice was sweet, calm, and loving. Lucas tells me the best stories about her. She made everyone around her feel as if they were special, loved. I wouldn’t know.

Mom died when I was only a few months old. I don’t remember her. I only recall her scent by recreating it, using scented oils and the notes she left behind. Mom had many journals filled with so much love and knowledge, in addition to all of the letters she left. Of anyone, I think I know her best. She talks to me through her old words. Everyone misses her, but I feel like I can’t.

How can you miss someone you barely knew?

Though, I can’t help but yearn for the person I never met, and the conversations I missed—the milestones we never had. She didn’t hear me talk, or see me walk. I didn’t go to mommy- and-me playdates. There was no one to hold my hand and kiss my boo-boos when I fell off my bike. She wasn’t there when I had my first crush, nor to console me when the idiot broke my heart because he chose Ana instead of me.

We didn’t have much time together, but I know that she loved me. Often, I console myself with the old pictures of her holding me. Her green eyes stare at the pink bundle in her arms as if I was the most precious little thing in the world. Her sun and her moon, Lucas says that’s what she used to call me.

Astrology is a prediction that doesn’t always come true. But like the journals of my mother, it gives me something to believe in, to hold on to when there’s so much turbulence around me. Having such a pragmatic career, I shouldn’t base my life on the “perhaps” factor—the notion of coincidence—but there’s something flattering about thinking that my entire destiny reflects on the stars.

I believe that my fate is written by a cosmic energy that’s close to my mother. It all sounds crazy if I voice it, that’s why I don’t say it out loud. Only a few know that I read my daily horoscope from at least three different apps. I doubt anyone will ever understand that I allow myself to believe in magic.

Luna: It’s a gorgeous Monday morning in New York. I won’t allow you to tamper with what can be a wonderful, yet hectic day.

Lucas: You just told me you’re heading to your impending doom.

Luna: No, I said this might not work as well as I thought.

Luna: My horoscope says that people will demand more of me. I just know what to expect. What happened with Abue?

Lucas: Dear Papa didn’t tell her that you moved out. He said that you went on vacation. Good luck.

Luna: I adore our father, but sometimes I don’t like him.

Lucas: Aren’t you glad I got you a new phone number? She will find a way to communicate, though. Maybe you should deactivate your Facebook account.

Luna: I’m thrilled about this new venture but… I’ll miss you guys.

Lucas: It’s temporary, while we work through the shit going around. I think this is the best for you, we’ll keep an eye on you.

Lucas: Now don’t get mad, but I’m emailing you a second set of instructions. Tiago’s got your back.

Luna: Santiago? The guy who hates Dad’s guts, the FBI, and thinks he’s above the law?

Luna: Nope. I won’t take shit from him when it comes to my job.

Lucas: He’s well connected. We’re adding a layer to your cover.

Luna: What’s the layer?

Lucas: I’ll send you an email once you’re settled into your new place.

Luna: Next time I see you, I’ll kick your ass.

Lucas: You are welcome to try. Just know that we’re doing this because we love you. We want you to be safe and have a good backup plan. We need to keep an eye on you.

I chuckle wondering how he’ll keep an eye on me. They continue treating me like the baby of the house. Neither Dad nor my brothers look at me as the thirty-one-year-old woman who can do the same as they can. I set my hands flat on the tray table taking a few breaths and feeling the stress slide down my back. I follow the flight attendant’s instructions, gathering everything together and putting it in my purse. Now, I have to prepare for whatever my brothers decided to set up.