Perfect for Me by Claudia Burgoa
Fight for Me
Luna
I hate job interviews.
The bureau doesn't pay me enough to pretend that I’m anxious to “land the job of a lifetime,” or whatever these stuffy execs expect me to say. Still, if I land this I could finally be on the field. Time to buck up.
“If you had only one word to describe yourself, what would it be?”
“Hazel, work related questions only.” Scott Everhart, CEO of Everhart Enterprises, cuts Hazel off. “How do you compensate for your weaknesses?”
I look away from Scott, deliberately turning my attention to Hazel Beesley with a smile. “Dedicated.”
According to my research, she’s his right hand. She’s also been featured in several business magazines as one of the most powerful women under thirty. While investigating the company, we didn’t find much about their personal lives, but Lucas and I gathered that if I get on her good side, I get the job.
“Loyal would be the second one.” I turn to Scott, straightening my back. “My strengths and flaws aren’t what define me or my work. It’s the dedication and enthusiasm that I bring to the table while balancing my best assets and the challenges that the job brings.”
I wish I had flown to New York for this interview. It would be easier for me to read their body language in person. From where I sit in my grandmother’s kitchen, it’s impossible to get a read on if they are interested or not. Multitasking is proving to be harder than I thought. I’m keeping one eye on the screen and the other one at the entrance of the kitchen to ensure that my dear abuelita stays away. Nothing ruins a job interview like the lovely woman offering me food, reminding me that I’m “too skinny” and with my “narrow hips and tiny ass,” I’m never going to find a man. After she reminds me of how lonely I am, I’ll politely tell her that she’s wrong. My ass is huge, my hips are fine, and I don’t need a man.
You can see how this conversation is not fit for an important job interview.
“Describe a time when you were asked to do something you weren’t trained to do. How did you handle it?” Scott asks a question I wasn’t sure how to answer. I never interviewed for an office job before. I decide to use my experience with the bureau
I perk up, flashing my best smile.
“There have been several times where I’ve had to steer away from my comfort zone. I guess the most recent was when my boss had a car accident. I had to step into his shoes. It was a different role for me, but I took charge during the difficult moments, and in the end, everything worked out as we planned.”
“Difficult moments?” Hazel emphasizes.
I nod. “We had a meeting with a potential client.” I reach for my glass of water and take a few sips. “Negotiating contracts when there’s a better choice within the price range for the client is challenging. I had to find a way to convince them that, even though my offer wasn’t as attractive, it was the right one in the long run.”
“That’s the attitude we want for this position,” Hazel says with an approving smile.
If only she knew what I’m talking about. It happened a couple of months ago in the interrogation room. I smile back at her, waiting patiently for the next question. I bet she’d be changing her tune if she knew the “better offer” was twenty years in jail instead of dying at the hands of a Colombian cartel.
“My goal is to bring a new business approach to the company while following the philosophy of Everhart Enterprises.” I mark off that talk point in my notebook with a squiggly line, making sure I don’t repeat it during the rest of the interview.
I wait for them to speak. Trying not to keep my gaze on the camera and not wandering toward the door. Though, I still need to keep an eye on my abuela. She’s loud, and yet, she’s pretty silent when she moves around. In another life, she could’ve been a great undercovered agent.
“If we offer you the job, how soon can you start?” Scott inquires after a long pause.
How about now?I think to myself impatiently. They don’t know how important it is for me to start with my investigation. If I could, I’d have arrived in New York weeks ago. However, my supervisor is an asshole who is setting me up to fail. Who tells an asset to go and get yourself a job? My boss, apparently. I’ll show him that I can find a job and do my work at the same time.
“It depends. As I said at the beginning of the interview, my dream is to live in New York. I love my current job, but I would like to find just the right position and company where I can grow,” I lie easily.
For a moment, I feel a little sorry for what will inevitably be a waste of their time. The reminder that my job is to catch pedophiles and save children dissipates the guilt. For now, they have to think that I’m the best out there, that they’re lucky to have me, even though the only business transactions I’ve made in my life are when I go shopping. I know about balancing my checkbook, but I don’t do it often. And my knowledge about marketing?
I know those suckers know how to sell me some cute clothes.
“How soon are you planning to make a decision?” I pull out my phone, checking the calendar.
“We need someone who can start within a week,” Hazel responds. “Are you sure you can move to New York that fast?”
“A friend of a friend is subletting me his apartment,” I lie again because Lucas, my brother, hasn’t confirmed anything about housing. I text him right away.
Luna: Is the apartment available?
Lucas: What apartment?
Luna: I’m moving to New York. Remember?
“New York is my dream city, I want to live there. At least for a few years.”
“What about your other job?” Hazel narrows her gaze, waiting for me to slip. Or is it to make sure I’m reliable? She seems to be obsessed with plans and long-term commitments.
“I have some vacation time accumulated.” The lies are coming quicker now that I can feel how close I am to my goal. I offer up a smile, trying to get a guaranteed yes. “If you offer me the job, I can start as early as next week. That gives me plenty of time to pack and say my goodbyes—while still giving my two-week notice.”
My phone buzzes. I glance and check my brother’s response.
Lucas: You can’t move.
I almost roll my eyes. The men in my life just don’t understand that I’m a grown woman who has a career she loves and could use their support.
Luna: It isn’t optional.
“Do you have any questions for us?” Scott asks.
“Can you tell me more about the day-to-day responsibilities of this job?” I click on my recorder and continue texting my brother.
Lucas: I’m still in denial. Also, I’m working on your situation.
He doesn’t get it, does he? I don’t choose my assignments. If he and my father don’t like them, it doesn’t matter.
Luna: Well, my situation is that I am moving to New York soon. Is the apartment available?
Lucas: The place is yours for at least six months.
Luna: Thank you. You can always come visit.
Lucas: Have you told Abue about it?
Luna: Once I have secured a job and the transfer, I’ll make sure our father is the one who takes the bullet. :D
“What is the typical career path for someone in this role?” I continue with my questions toward my interviewers.
Lucas: You’re evil and smart.
I learned from his past experiences. A few years back my brother moved temporarily to San Francisco. He told Abuela that he was leaving weeks before it happened. Worst idea ever. Every day she brought her best guilt-trip game. She played the I’m going to die before you’re back card more often than she drank her café con leche. She drinks at least ten cups a day, insisting that it keeps her younger. I love her dearly. She’s like a mother to me, which is exactly why I can’t handle those guilt-trips.
It won’t be long before my grandmother takes the train to New York to drag me back. Moving from Alexandria to that city is going to give her a heart attack. I choose to miss the melodramatic display. I don’t know how long I’m staying in Manhattan, but I’ll make sure to take the train at least once a month on the weekends, unlike Lucas who never came to visit us. She almost disowned him.
How can he put his job before family?
Family comes first.
We should remain together.
If it were up to her, we would be living in the same neighborhood, the same city at the very least. She would love me the most if I lived next door. After marrying a good Mexican man (or a hot Latino), of course. That’s what good girls do. She thinks I’m still a virgin because no “granddaughter of hers will be deflowered before she marries.”
Sex, grandma, it’s called sex.
I stare at the monitor, listening to Hazel Beesley speak about the incredible career track ahead of me, about all of the benefits and opportunities within the company. They sound great, but I don’t care much about the business world. My attention goes back to my conversation with Lucas.
Luna: I’m not evil. I just choose not to face the telenovela scene.
Lucas: Change your phone number and your name, and perhaps she won’t find you.
Luna: She’ll send the hellhounds.
“What are the next steps in the interview process?” I ask, hoping that they haven’t noticed that I’m only half-listening to the conversation.
“We have a few other candidates to interview today,” Scott answers promptly. “Our board will get together afterward, and we will be making a decision as early as Friday.”
“Once we make that decision, we will want to move fast. Please, call me if you need help with the logistics of your move,” Hazel continues.
Those words grab my attention. Moving fast is something we agreed on one hundred percent. I reach for my pen to write down Hazel’s cell number when I hear the door. Damn it. I needed just a few more minutes.
“Mijita, estas preparando el almuerzo?” My grandma and her timing. Is she serious? Sorry, but I can’t prepare lunch and find a job at the same time, Abue. She enters the kitchen with my abuelo right behind her. He gives me a slight shrug. Yeah, I know he did his best to stall her. “Me da gusto que ya dejaste ese trabajo en la policia? Porque eso es solo para hombres.”
My face falls, why is she asking that? I cross my fingers, hoping that they don’t know Spanish or that their knowledge of the Spanish language is limited to the basics. If not, my cover has been compromised before it even began.
How can she ask about my job? She’s back with her damn lecture that what I do is only for men, but at least she didn’t mention the FBI. Her old-school attitude irritates me. I might stay in New York forever.
“Well, that’s all for now.” Hazel is the first one to speak after the embarrassing silence created by the intruders in the kitchen.
“Yes, I think that’s all we needed to know.” Scott’s jaw sets and nods once toward Hazel who shakes her head slightly. I serve the screen a charming smile, hoping they have no idea what Grandma said. “Have a good lunch, Miss Galvez.”
“Thank you for your time.” I huff, turning off the video call.
My stomach churns. It’s either hunger or my gut telling me that I flunked the interview. Going to my browser, I pull up my daily horoscope.
Under today’s outspoken moon, uttering out the first thing that comes to mind is an unsafe action. Unless, of course, you’ve got an ingenious idea.
Oh, God. I didn’t say anything stupid, but it was stupid to have the interview at home. Carajo! Why didn’t I read this before I scheduled the time?
Luna: I need to continue my search.
Lucas: For what?
Luna: The undercover job so I can do my real job.
Lucas: I thought you already had it. Not that I want you to leave.
Luna: Well, my horoscope said so, and Abue entered the kitchen right when I was about to end the interview.
Lucas: You have to stop reading that shit! You’re so smart. I just don’t get why you base 99% of your decisions on what those sites say.
Luna: I love you, but this time it’s not a hypothesis. She mentioned my job with the police.
Lucas: Fuck! Get something along the lines of your quirks, like a tarot reading or… Shit, you’re fucked.
Yep, shit and fuck are just about right. But his stupid comments about my quirks aren’t welcomed. I love my brother, but he’s never going to understand it. If Mom were here, she’d agree with me.
“What would you like me to prepare for lunch?” I rise from my seat, taking off my blazer and my button-down blouse, leaving me in a sleeveless sundress.
“That’s more like you, Luna,” Abue says, taking the clothing, I discard and folding them neatly. “You should find a husband. Men pay more attention if you wear those pretty dresses. I need some grandbabies to spoil.”
“My mission in life.” I kiss her on the cheek and march to the fridge.
You can only teach so many tricks to an old dog, but to my abuelita, there’s nothing I can teach her. She knows it all. At least that’s what she says.
