Love Me Anyway by Jennifer Probst
Chapter Fourteen
Tomorrow was her wedding day.
Julianna stared at the simple white gown hanging by the closet. Clean lines flowed from a strapless neckline and gathered in a bow in the back, then spilled to the floor in a rush of lace. The dress screamed elegance and practicality, especially for a small garden wedding with a few guests. She had no maid of honor; no close friends or family. Her lunch friends were acquaintances she kept up for appearance’s sake and no one knew the extent of her desperation. She’d invited a few neighbors and co-workers from the college in an effort to remember the only wedding she’d ever have. She couldn’t stand the idea of a justice of the peace—much too impersonal. So, she’d say her vows at the Cliff House, drink some champagne, and pack her bags for England.
Julianna sat on the edge of her bed and stared at the gown. An emptiness took root and grew hungrier with each passing day. She wondered if Jack had sailed away yet. Maybe another waterfront town in the hopes of finding something better than his home. Someone better than her. A woman like the one he’d shared dinner with that night.
Choose me.
His plea echoed in her head like a mantra with no ending. He’d called her a hero, yet she’d known the truth. She was a coward. Afraid to really live on her own terms. Afraid to choose the unknown over the dependable. A martyr to the end, she was willing to marry to give her father what he wanted. She was exchanging one prison for another without a fight. She placed no value upon herself.
Until Jack.
How had he suddenly made her feel important? Worthwhile and deserving of love? He’d challenged her body and her mind, pushed her boundaries, and had the gall to ask her to come away with him. Was there another man alive with such audacity? Was there another man alive who was meant to be her true love?
Her nerves raw, she wandered to the sunroom, desperate for a few moments of peace. She sought out her thick poetry book, cracked the spine, and opened the page.
And came face to face with Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Julianna fought for breath as her gaze rested on the title, “Give All to Love.” And then she read.
Give all to love;
Obey thy heart;
Friends, kindred, days,
Estate, good-fame,
Plans, credit and the Muse,—
Nothing refuse.
’T is a brave master;
Let it have scope:
Follow it utterly,
Hope beyond hope:
High and more high
It dives into noon,
With wing unspent,
Untold intent;
But it is a god,
Knows its own path
And the outlets of the sky.
It was never for the mean;
It requireth courage stout.
Souls above doubt,
Valor unbending,
It will reward,—
The hard shell cracked and exposed a vulnerable, gooey center. The realization slammed through her like a hurtling racecar, crashed, and left a trail of crumbled debris in its wake. He’d given her everything he was, offered his heart, and she’d told him he wasn’t enough. Visions of her past flickered before her eyes. How many times had she given up her dreams for another? She had no one to blame, yet she found herself with no one to take care of, and still seeking to be a caretaker. She didn’t want to marry someone socially acceptable she didn’t love. Someone she felt lukewarm with.
Julianna wanted to marry a man who would ignite the night, hold her accountable during the day, and see beyond the surface to the woman she really was. No other man had given her such a gift. Jack Wolfe had looked hard, and loved her anyway.
The room spun and she clutched the book to her chest for support. What good was owning the Cliff House without love? How could she spend the rest of her life regretting her choice, and trying to live with a man she never truly wanted?
The answer was simple, held in the pages of poetry, held in her heart.
She’d cancel her wedding, find Jack Wolfe, and beg his forgiveness. She’d sail away with him and let the bank take her home. She didn’t need a home. She needed Jack.
Her legs shook when she stood and made her decision.
She needed to find Jack first. Then she’d speak with Bryce and tell him the truth. He didn’t deserve a wife who couldn’t give her heart to him and make a valiant effort at this marriage. Julianna was positive he’d find another suitable wife in order to inherit his family estate. After all, he was charming, polite, and kind.
Julianna raced out of the house and slammed the door behind her.
Jack sat on the deck of the boat. A forgotten beer lay beside him on the table, and his head thrummed in rhythm to the screech of seagulls. He sucked in a breath of salt air and his stomach steadied. The hours had passed in a whirlwind, from his arrest, the questioning, and tracking down Bryce. Thank God for the video camera. Without the photographic evidence, the woman could have testified against both of them. She hadn’t known Jack was there to help, and her terror could have easily slanted the situation to make it look like they were working together. After a few strategically placed calls to England, Bryce’s private investigator was a prime witness against his cousin. The trail of violence and abuse winded long, and hard evidence was needed. Bryce wouldn’t be claiming any family legacy. He’d be spending the next several years in jail. Jack would focus all his energies into making sure justice was served.
As for the woman, he found out her name was Charlotte, and she was going to be fine. He moved quickly to make sure her medical bills were paid, and a sizeable fund was ready to help her transition when she got out. Not that money would help her sleep any better at night. Still, he intended to make sure she got a proper job and anything she needed.
“Jack?”
He jumped and whirled around. Julianna stood on the dock. Her feet shifted back and forth, but her raven gaze was steady. “Can I come aboard?”
Jack wanted to say no. He wanted to say yes. The sight of her made the wound throb and reopen. His need for her, and her need for another man’s money. He forced the words out. “Sure.”
She moved with a feminine grace, her canvas white shoes spotlessly clean as she jumped up and walked up the galley. A simple white T-shirt and cropped shorts covered her body. Her thick dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and her face was scrubbed free from makeup. Jack spotted the telltale freckles sprinkling her nose and noted she’d gotten too much sun. Her familiar scent of vanilla and spice rose to his nostrils on the tug of the ocean breeze.
Julianna stopped before him, her teeth nibbling on her lower lip. “I was afraid you’d be gone.”
“I got delayed.”
“You look tired.”
“I am.”
They stared at one another. Jack ached to take her downstairs, tug off her clothes, and bury himself inside her sweet heat. She’d make him forget all of the ugliness the day had brought. Halfway tempted to possess her one last time, he turned away and grabbed his beer. “What do you want, Julianna?” he asked.
“Choose me.”
The bottle stopped halfway to his lips. He frowned, and temper bit into his voice. “What game are you playing with me? Do you want me to fuck you one last time before you get married?”
She flinched, but kept her chin raised. “Jack, I came back to ask you to forgive me. I made a terrible mistake.”
The realization hit him hard. He forced a laugh. “Oh, I get it. You heard the news about Bryce, so you figured you’d run over to me before your second choice sails away. No thanks. I’m no woman’s leftovers, love.”
A frown marred her brow. “What are you talking about? I haven’t told Bryce the truth yet. You were never my second choice, Jack. He was. But I can’t go living a lie and marrying a man I don’t love just because of a promise I gave my father.”
Julianna stepped forward. Her voice quivered. “I fought my feelings because I thought I owed my family. But my family’s gone. I’m sacrificing the man I love for an empty house. I was a stupid coward, but I’m not afraid anymore. You made me realize I could go after what I want with no apologies. And I want you.”
Heat wrapped around his cock and squeezed. Then moved up to his heart. Her dark eyes glowed with a passion he’d never seen in the bright light of day.
Jack studied every feature, probing for deceit, but found nothing but an innocent plea. “What about Bryce?” he asked.
“I needed to tell you how I feel first. I’m going to cancel the wedding. Bryce is a good man, and he doesn’t deserve someone who can never love him.”
My God, she really didn’t know.
Jack threw the bottle back on the table and rubbed his hand over his face. He needed to tell her the truth. The whole truth. But first he needed to complete one last test.
“What if I tell you it’s too late?” he asked harshly. “I intend to leave Newport this evening. Do you go back to him again and settle?”
“No.” She never faltered, just kept her chin high in the air and let him see naked vulnerability. “I’m never going to settle again. If I lose you, I’m still letting the house go. I’ll find my own way.”
Jack knew then he’d won. He was a prince with his own happy ending. He got the woman of his dreams, slayed the evil knight, and would sail off into the sunset. He’d save the Cliff House and they’d all get what they wanted.
“Come here.” She hesitated at his softly spoken command. Then closed the distance between them. He trailed one finger down the curve of her cheek and felt her tremble. Satisfaction surged. “Ask me again.”
“I love you, Jack.” He watched her dig deep for courage, for the grit to ask someone she’d rejected for another chance. He’d never loved her more than in that moment. Her breath broke from her lips. “Please. Choose me.”
His mouth stamped over hers. An emotional flood rose and churned through his body as her taste and touch swamped his senses. He seized; plundered; released. His tongue plunged deep until she clutched frantically at his shoulders, ripping at his shirt in a desperate attempt to unclothe him. The warning bell clanged somewhere distant and Jack focused on the sound in order to pull him out of sensual oblivion. He lifted his head and admired the sleek sheen of her swollen lips, her raven-colored eyes dark with passion. Then he gave the words back. “I love you. I needed to know I wasn’t second choice. I don’t think I could have lived like that.”
“I’m so sorry I hurt you,” she whispered. “I’ll never give you reason to distrust me again. I’ll always tell you the truth. I have to find Bryce to finally finish this so we can get on with our lives.”
The warning bell screeched. Unease slithered through his body so he released her. “I have to tell you something, Julianna. Something about Bryce.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. I texted and left messages but he hasn’t answered yet. I need to find him. We’re supposed to meet for dinner tonight at seven. I have to cancel the flowers, and call up the people we invited and then—”
“Bryce is in jail. He’s being held on charges of attempted murder.”
Color drained her face and she swayed on her feet. He grabbed her around the waist for support. “What?”
“I know it’s a lot. I’ve been keeping some things from you, too. I need to tell you everything now.”
“What the hell is going on? Do you know each other? He couldn’t possibly have done something like that.”
“Bryce is my cousin. He followed me here from England when he found out my interest in you. He secured the whole meeting.”
Julianna shook her head hard. “No, you’re wrong. When I realized I couldn’t get the money, I placed an ad at a restricted website for women and men looking to marry. He answered my ad. He knew nothing about you.”
“Bryce hired a private investigator to go through your house. He reviewed all your files and activity on your computer. He was looking for something to use against me, and he found it in you.”
She took a step back and held up her hands in defense. “That’s impossible.” She forced a laugh. “This makes no sense. Bryce is a rich man who needed to marry to inherit the family business. Wait a minute…” She trailed off and studied him hard. He allowed her the time to chase her thoughts. “You left to get away from the family business. Bryce told me his cousin was trying to steal the business even though he wanted no part of it. You both belong to the same family?”
Jack nodded. “The company is Woodward Shipping based in England. I’m next in line to inherit, but I need to marry before the company can be transferred to me. Bryce has been ruthless with his attempts to be the one who inherits. I had no idea he was this obsessed, or so sick. I found out he’s been securing prostitutes and beating them up, along with a bunch of other women along the way.”
Jack let out a breath. “At first, I was so angry with you, I was about to sail back home and let you marry him. But when I found out he was dangerous, I couldn’t let that happen.” Jack quickly relayed the story of his stakeout, the videotape, the police, and the arrest. “Whatever happens, he’s ruined and he’s never going to hurt you or any other woman again.”
He reached out to touch her, but she turned away. He allowed her the space and told himself to be patient. This was a lot for Julianna to handle. She needed to accept that Bryce was a monster and Jack had deceived her. Of course, he was positive she’d understand. After all, she’d been the one to declare she only wanted to marry a man with money.
“If Bryce was your cousin, and you knew I was in trouble, why did you lie?”
“I was angry. You had clearly declared I wasn’t good enough for you because you only wanted a man with money. Imagine how I felt? I only realized what Bryce was up to that night I saw you at dinner. I had no idea he was the man you were seeing, or that he was even in town.”
She nodded slowly. His muscles eased a notch. “I see,” she said. “So, from the very first you lied to me. You were never a gardener or a handyman. Your family business is one of the biggest companies in the world. What were you doing here, Jack? Or is that your real name?”
He refused to wince and stood his ground. “My real name is Jack Woodward. When my mother informed me I wouldn’t inherit the company unless I married, I decided to travel to see if I could find a woman who’d love me for myself. Not my money or title or company. I decided to go undercover, pick up a few odd jobs, and be a normal guy. I picked Newport because I wanted to sail and we have a satellite company here. I could check in on things and give myself the time and space I needed to meet someone on my own terms.” His gaze raked over her figure. “I wanted you the moment I saw you. I figured you were a stuck-up, cold socialite who only cared about money. Yet, each time I spoke with you, you got under my skin.”
“You were testing me.” She shuddered and wrapped her arms tight around her body. “I failed the test because I wanted a man with money. What were you doing with that other woman at dinner? Auditioning her for the role of your wife?”
He took slow steps toward her and closed the distance. “I knew you were meant to be mine. No other woman ever stood a chance. And now I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”
Her eyes widened. “Give me what? My reward?” Her face changed. Pure feminine temper burned from dark eyes, flew from her pores, and twisted her mouth. “Did you actually think you’d proudly announce you’re rich and make this whole charade go away?”
Jack pulled her against her chest and ignored the warning signs. “I can give you the Cliff House. You can keep your promise to your father, and we can have each other. Damnit, Julianna, we can have it all!”
Like a cat dropped in water, she literally spat and hissed. “We have nothing! We have sex and lies. I fell in love with Jack Wolfe, a man who worked with his hands, and made me laugh, and gave me orgasms night after night. A man who quoted poetry and burned with righteous pride when I told him I needed money.”
“I’m the same man. The man I wanted to be when I came here. The real me.”
“I don’t know the real you, Jack.” The fight went out of her and she grew limp in his arms. “I don’t know anything anymore except I can’t be with you. Did you really think you could make an entire existence disappear because you wanted it to happen? Or I’d drop to my knees, grateful I’d get the money as a bonus prize because I passed your test?”
The fragile thread holding his own temper frayed. “You’re not making any sense. You’re upset and overwhelmed and need some time.”
“Yes,” she said woodenly. “I need lots of time. Everything I believed in was a lie. You. Bryce. Dear God, I was going to marry a man tomorrow I thought was sweet and kind, and he’s in jail for doing these terrible things to women. For murder!” She shuddered. “I feel dirty, and stupid, and used.”
“You’re in shock. If I had any idea you were in danger, I would’ve told you the truth from the beginning.”
“Gee, thanks, that makes everything ok.”
“Julianna—”
“Go home, Jack. Go back to England where you belong and leave me alone.”
“Not without you.”
Her laugh held no humor. “There is no us. I won’t be your bride because the clock is ticking. I won’t give up my life for the promise of something that may not make me happy. You taught me that.”
“Maybe I need to remind you another way.”
His mouth took hers. She fought with fists and nails, teeth and feet, but he managed to drag her to the cabin and pin her to the bed. He used his tongue to pleasure, while his hands ripped at her clothes, under her panties, and plunged into wet, pulsing heat. She arched into his hand while she cursed him, yet beneath the rage was a sexual firestorm that seared flesh and pushed away all civil boundaries. He rubbed her clit with his thumb and hit her g-spot with pounding fingers. She clenched around him and climaxed, while he tore off her shorts, unbuckled his pants, and thrust into her. She cried out his name as he drove into her, over and over, leaving her nothing left to hide or a shred of untruth between them. They both peaked together and held on as the shock waves attacked mercilessly. When Jack was finally able to lift his head, he looked into her face.
A face he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Her skin glowed with pleasure, her eyes dreamily half-closed, swollen lips emitting breathless gasps as she returned to sanity. Their gazes locked, and he drowned deep in a pool of inky blackness, touched her soul, and was changed forever.
“I love you, Jack.” Her words were whisper soft in the dimly lit room. “But I can’t do this anymore. I need time to figure out what I want on my own terms now. And not on anyone else’s agenda.”
She got up from the bed, straightened her clothes, and walked away.
Jack let her. Once again, he had given her everything, and it still wasn’t enough. He watched her go without a word and wondered if his heart would ever be whole again.