The Devastation You Reap by Tracy Lorraine
Macie
He neither confirms nor denies my comment and I can't help but smile as his grip on the wheel tightens as he continues down Main Street heading toward the other side of town.
Silence falls between us, but weirdly, it's not uncomfortable.
I think back over what's happened since he steamrolled Micah and I can't help but wonder who this sassy woman is, who stood up to him.
Pulling the stunt with Nathan's basketball jersey isn't something I ever thought I'd do, but the second the idea popped into my head, I knew it had to happen.
In the space of forty-eight hours, I've gone from being a blundering idiot pinned between him and the wall as he growled at me, to the girl who's getting more joy than I ever thought I would trying to play him at his own game.
I just wish I knew what the endgame was.
I glance over at him, wondering if he's lying about this not being a bet. It has to be. There's no way that Leon Dunn would willingly put this much effort into chasing anyone if there wasn't some fucked up football team dare at the end of it.
His hair is perfectly styled, almost too perfect. His green eyes are focused straight ahead but there are creases at the sides as if he's trying not to laugh at me, I'm not sure if that amuses or annoys me. His nose is perfectly straight and his lips… they're so full. I wonder what they'd feel— No.
I slam the doors on my thoughts and rip my eyes from him, wrapping my arms around myself as if they'll protect me from… from whatever this is.
"What are you thinking about, Red?" he asks, clearly sensing my attention.
"Still trying to figure out the game."
"Why does there have to be a game? Why can't I just want a date with you?"
"Because boys like you don't date girls like me."
"Says who? There are no rules."
"If there were, I suspect you'd break them all anyway."
"You already know me so well, Red."
"Where are we going?" I ask, realizing that we've passed all the restaurants, the movie theater, and the arcade. I'm not sure where else he could take me.
"You'll just have to wait and see. Pretty sure you're going to like it."
"Verdict's still out as to whether I'm regretting getting in this car again."
"I thought I'd been pretty polite."
"Hmm…"
"So why MKU then, Red?" he asks, making my heart jump into my throat. I really, really don't want to have to talk about me or my past.
"My mom studied here. I always wanted to follow in her footsteps."
"Nice."
"What about you?"
"Obvious, isn't it?"
"Football," I mutter.
“My twin brother, Luca, and I have pretty much had our entire lives mapped out for us by our father."
"That sounds… restrictive."
"Like you wouldn't believe."
"You enjoy it though?"
"The game? Yeah. It's all I know. My entire life has been about football and making the NFL. If I didn't have it, I'd have no idea what I'd do, who I'd be."
"It's nice to have something you care about so much," I mutter, feeling sad that I've never really had that. My biggest focus has always been just surviving.
"You have any hobbies?"
"Er… reading, I guess. I've never really been the type to enjoy organized activities."
"Well, you sure make them sound like fun, putting it like that."
"I'm not really a team player. I've always been better at doing things alone."
He glances over at me, an understanding I wasn't expecting flashing in his eyes.
"That's a damn shame, Red. There's a lot of fun to be had with others."
"I'm sure. Seriously, where are we going?" I ask when he suddenly takes a right down a dark dirt road that's enclosed on either side by low-hanging trees.
"Worried you're about to meet your untimely death?" he asks with a smirk.
My heart rate increases until I can feel it in every inch of my body.
"I wasn't but I am now. What the hell, Leon?"
"Just wait. I think you're going to like it."
He continues forward, his pristine BMW bouncing into all the muddy potholes, branches scraping down the sides as the road gets narrower.
"This is really creepy," I whisper as it gets darker and darker with the tree coverage above us hiding the light from the moon.
"Trust me."
"Pfft, yeah, that's gonna happen."
He slams his foot on the brake and turns to look at me.
"What the hell?"
He studies me for a beat making my brows pull together as I try to figure out what he's trying to read on my face.
"You can trust me, Red. Nothing bad is going to happen."
I swallow nervously.
"O-okay," I agree, but I think we both know I'm lying.
"I'm not the bad guy here, Macie."
I nod, wishing he'd just get on with whatever he's doing.
He stares at me for another two seconds, allowing me to see just a hint of some vulnerability in his eyes before he pulls on his usually cocky mask and turns back to the wheel.
We only drive a few more feet before the trees that were in front of us open up and reveal a vast mass of water. The top ripples in the moonlight.
"Oh, it's so beautiful," I breathe, leaning forward to get a better look.
"Just wait for it."
Leon turns the car and I gasp in shock at the sight before me.
"Y-you did all this? F-for me?"
He shrugs and when I finally rip my eyes from the romance fest before us I find a shy smile playing on his lips.
"Yeah. You like it?"
I look back at the twinkling fairy lights that are wrapped around some kind of gazebo looking out over the lake.
"I-it's… not very football player-like of you."
"I told you, Red. You've got me all wrong."
I look between the most romantic picnic spot I've ever seen to the enigma that is Leon Dunn sitting beside me.
Who the hell is this guy, really?
"You want to get out and enjoy it, or are we gonna sit in here all night?"
I'm still too stunned to move.
"Okay, well… I'm hungry so I'm gonna…" Leon pushes the door open and climbs out.
The second his door slams closed, I scramble to join him.
By the time I start walking over, he's already standing under the canopy with the lights twinkling around him. It's really quite a sight.
Lifting his hand, he runs his fingers through his hair. His usual confidence and cockiness is gone and in their place… nerves, maybe.
"Did you really do this for me?" I ask as I step up to him.
"I really did," he confirms.
"B-but why? You don't even know me."
He shrugs. "But I want to, and I figured you'd like something like this."
"I do, I love it. It's just so…"
"So?"
"Unexpected."
"I told you," he says, closing the space between us, forcing me to look up at him.
His hand lifts and he reaches out, tucking my hair behind my ear.
"I'm not the person you think I am."
His words and his featherlight touch do weird things to me. My stomach damn near explodes with a million butterflies and my skin tingles, my need for him to keep touching me almost strong enough to force me to reach for him myself.
"You look beautiful, Red." His smile that follows those words is so damn endearing he almost makes me forget everything. Almost.
Instead, I force a little reality back into our situation and will my body to get a hold of itself.
It doesn't matter how much he might prove to me that he's different. That he's the opposite of all the football players I've been let down by in my past. I refuse to believe it, to accept that he won't just hurt me like them. Disappoint me like them.
"No one's ever called me beautiful before," I confess.
"Then you’ve been spending time with the wrong people."
A humorless laugh almost bubbles up my throat. Ain't that the freaking truth.
"What did you bring to eat?" I ask before he starts digging into the people, or lack thereof, in my life.
It takes him a second but my question eventually registers in his head and he takes a step back.
"I didn't know what you liked—aside from meatball subs—so I just got a little of everything."
"Sounds perfect."
I follow his lead and lower myself to the blanket on the ground and wait for him to pull out everything from the basket.
The entire situation is like a dream as I watch him lay out the food between us, stealing bites here and there as he goes, I can't quite believe it's actually happening.
My head wars with itself as I try to hold on to the person he was when I interrupted him with Charlie. The angry, vicious way he held me, the wicked promise he left me with.
It's at total odds with this version of Leon in front of me right now.
So which one is real?
"You're meant to be enjoying yourself, Red. You looked stressed."
"You confuse me," I blurt out.
"Well, relax and let me help to unconfuse you."
"But—"
He picks up a carrot stick and scoops up a dollop of hummus, holding it out toward me. "Here."
"I-I… uh…" He moves it closer until the hummus touches my lips.
"Open up, Red."
Unable to do anything but follow orders, my mouth opens and he pushes the carrot inside.
I take a bite of it, then he throws the other end of the stick into his mouth and chews.
And damn him because even while chewing he looks hot.
He finishes getting everything out and then lays down beside the plates and starts picking at the food, encouraging me to do the same.
We eat in silence, my gaze alternating between Leon, the food and the insane view.
This date is literally the thing of romance novels. It is the kind of romance that every woman dreams of. So why do I feel like the blanket is going to be pulled from beneath me any minute now?
"You still looked stressed," Leon muses.
"I'm sorry. I keep getting stuck in my own head. Did you bring something for us to drink?"
"Shit, yeah. Sorry."
He sits up and rummages around in a bag that's hidden behind the basket.
"Champagne, really?" I ask, lifting a brow.
"Cliché, I know. But what else could I get to go with this."
"Fair point. A bottle of Bud wouldn't really go."
He passes me two glasses before getting to work on popping the cork.
"I… uh… don't really drink."
He pauses and looks at me, although he must have me figured out better than I do him because a soft smile plays on his lips. "Why am I not surprised? You're too good, Red."
"Nothing wrong with that," I snap, like I always do whenever someone criticizes my life choices.
"It's not a bad thing. It just really makes me want to turn you a little bit bad."
"I'm already breaking all my rules by being here. One thing at a time."
"Just a little one?" he asks, already pouring the bubbles into the glass.
"Sure. As long as you promise that if I get drunk, you'll make sure I get back in one piece."
"Huh."
"What?"
"I just thought you were going to warn me about taking advantage of you if you get drunk. Maybe you are starting to get to know me."
"Thank you," I say, lifting my glass to my lips when he takes his and ignoring his comment about taking advantage, mainly because there is no way in hell that I'm letting him get me drunk. I need to be on full alert when it comes to Leon Dunn.
I take the smallest sip before placing the glass in the grass behind me.
"So, tell me something else about you aside from football," I demand, popping an olive into my mouth and licking the oil from my fingertip.
His eyes zero in on my lips and the tingles I tried to banish earlier return full force.
"U-uh…" he stutters, dragging his eyes back up to mine. Although when I look into them, I find they're significantly darker than they were before. The sight makes my heart beat that little bit faster. "What do you want to know?"
"I don't know." I shrug regretting the question. I can't ask about family and those normal kinds of things because I know it'll invite questions into my own life and I refuse to go down that path tonight when we're meant to be enjoying ourselves. "Where do you live? Friends. Parties. Classes. Anything, really."
He studies me for a beat and I can't help but wonder if he noticed my lack of questions about his life outside MKU.
I tell myself I'm just being paranoid and continue eating as he starts talking.
"I live in a house with my brother and a few of the guys from the team over by the frat houses. Parties? Every weekend. Classes? I go occasionally," he jokes… I think. "There's not really much to tell. During the season I'm either training or sleeping and in the off-season, I just try to enjoy myself as much as possible."
"Which leads us to my next question…" His eyes widen knowing what's coming next. "Charlie?"
"What about her?"
"That night… the way you were…" I sit up and look at the lake, feeling overwhelmed by his intense stare. "You were different."
He's silent as he moves some of the food aside and comes to sit beside me, the heat of his body warming mine.
We might be having unusually warm weather for this time of year, but we’re still sitting outside at night in winter.
A shiver rips through me and before I know what's happening, he's pulling a hoodie from the bag and wrapping it around my shoulders.
"T-thank you," I whisper, pulling it around me and breathing in his scent.
"Charlie was…" He blows out a long breath as he tries to find the right words. "My life hasn't been all that great recently. I went to a bar, had a little too much to drink and I just needed to forget for a bit, you know?"
I nod, understanding that concept more than I'm sure he appreciates. Although I've never used drinking and sex to make it happen. But I do get it.
"But she wasn't what I needed, not really."
"Because she's not your type."
"Partly. I thought I was looking for something meaningless to just take the edge off but I don't think that's what I needed."
I wince slightly at his ability to use sex and another person like that but I fight to keep my reaction inside because I really don't think he needs me judging him right now. And let's face it, I've already done plenty of that where he's concerned.
"I know you think I have it all. That I'm some pigheaded football player who thinks he's God's gift to the game and women. I probably act like that more than I should. But it's not who I really am. Meaningless nights with faceless jersey chasers isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"No? I thought it was what you all lived for," I deadpan.
"As high school kids, yeah. But things aren't always as incredible as they're made out to be."
"So what do you want?" I ask, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.
"Something more." I suck in a sharp breath when his fingers touch my ear once more. "I want more than one night, Red. I want more than just sex.
"My brother, my best friend. They've found it. I'm surrounded by these couples and I want it. I want to look at my person and to have her know exactly what I'm thinking just from my eyes. I want to fall asleep with her in my arms and wake up the same way the next morning knowing that she's mine."
My breathing becomes labored the more he speaks.
"It sounds perfect," I whisper, trying to imagine what it must be like to have that kind of connection with someone. Especially since I've spent the better part of eighteen years believing it only exists in the movies.
"I want it."
His fingers touch my jaw, giving me no choice but to turn my head to look at him.
My lips part the second I look into his eyes.
"Do you?" he whispers and I nod despite the fact I've no freaking clue what I'm agreeing to.
I blame the half a glass of champagne I've consumed.
His hand wraps around the side of my neck. His touch is at odds with how he held me Sunday night, and even earlier when he pinned me against the wall. But despite the lightness to it, it ignites something within me, something intense, something that I've never felt before.
His eyes hold mine as he leans in toward me.
Time stands still.
I stop breathing.
Until it all comes out in a rush when his lips brush mine.
"Tell me no, Red," he breathes. His lips gently caressing mine with each word.
"I-I can't," I whisper so quietly I don't think he's heard it.
But then a second passes and I realize that he did because his grip on my neck tightens and his lips press against mine with much less hesitancy.
Oh God.
He keeps it innocent for long seconds, kissing me gently, nipping at my bottom lip until he finally loses his fight with his restraint because his tongue sneaks out and teases my bottom lip before slipping into my mouth the second I open for him.
"Macie," he moans, tilting my head exactly as he wants it and plunges his tongue into my mouth, searching for mine which is more than willing to join in.
Our kiss goes on and on, and I totally lose myself to the feel of it, to the sparks that shoot off around my body from his simple hold on my neck and the brush of his tongue against mine alone.
A tight ball of desire forms in my lower belly making me want things I never really thought about before. Images of this going further pop into my mind, and it takes me a while to realize that it doesn't freak me out. Part of me wants him to push, just to see how I'd react. He might have been right earlier about making me a little bad. Because right now, I feel wild and I know it's all because of him.
When he brings the kiss to an end, it's entirely too soon.
Dragging his lips away, he rests his brow against mine, and after a few seconds, he opens his eyes.
The green is so dark, cloaked with desire and need and it makes everything south of my stomach clench.
I did that.
I caused that.
"I should get you back."
"B-back?"
"Yeah, it's getting late."
He pulls back and the space allows a little reality to slip back in.
"Y-yeah, I guess it is."
My cheeks burn as he watches me ensuring that all the things I was thinking about while he kissed me never really leave my head.
"What are you thinking about, Red?" he asks.
Mindlessly, I lift my fingers to my lips.
"You."
The smile that curls at the sides of his lips makes me want to crawl onto his lap and allow him to make me as bad as he wants. But I swallow my inner wild child down knowing that nothing good will come from her rearing her head.
He pushes up from the ground and holds his hand out to pull me up.
I slide my much tinier one into his giant paw and he hauls me up and directly into his body.
Wrapping his arm and mine behind my back he holds me in place.
"Thank you for tonight," he whispers.
"Shouldn't I be the one saying that? You did all the work."
"But you made it perfect."
I can't help it, I swoon hard. Too hard.
"Come on, you need your beauty sleep for class tomorrow."
He releases me, although he looks reluctant to do it and together we tidy everything up before heading to his car.
"What about the rest of it?" I ask, the fairy lights still shining bright.
"I'll come back. Don't worry."
I smile at him across the trunk of his car. "Okay."
The second he's put the car into drive, he reaches over and takes my hand, lacing his fingers through mine, holding it tightly. I find it way more comforting than I know I should.
"Where'd you grow up?"
"Pittsburgh," I lie, my stomach twisting painfully that I still feel the need to do so. It's not an all-out lie. Pittsburgh is where I lived with my parents before they died. I just haven't been back there since then. "You?"
"Rosewood. It's the next town over. You miss it?" he asks.
"Nah. This place feels more like home than anywhere else I've lived."
He nods, accepting my words as the truth.
Guilt sits heavy in my stomach but it's the way it has to be. He might have somehow managed to break down a few of my barriers tonight, as well as shatter my clearly mistaken assumptions about him, but he’s not getting anything else out of me. I've told no one the truth about my life. My roommates know more than most, but even that is the least I could get away with so they can feel like they actually know me.
"What about when you're done here? Any plans for where you want to play next?"
"I've got a wish list sure, but I'm not putting all my hopes on one team. I'm happy to go with the flow."
"That probably makes it easier."
"I can only hope."
We chat about other nonsensical things as we make our way back across town once more, and all too soon, we're pulling up outside my dorm building.
He undoes his seat belt like he's about to walk me up and I panic.
"It's okay, you don't need to."
Looking over, he studies me for a beat.
"You ashamed of me, Red?"
"What? No."
"So you're not hiding this from your roommates."
"I don't know what this is, Leon. I don't want them sticking their noses in my business."
"You think they won't approve?"
"I don't know. They don't know you. I don't know you. And you're a football player and I—"
My words are cut off when he pulls me over the center console and claims my lips like he now owns them.
He kisses me long and hard until I damn near forget my own name, let alone what we were just talking about.
"It's okay," he says when he pulls back, rubbing his thumb over my bottom lip. "I get it."
I nod, believing that he does.
This thing, whatever it is that's crackling between us, if it's as confusing to him as much as it is to me then I can't imagine he wants one hundred and one questions about it either.
"Some friends of mine are having a party on Friday night. You wanna come with me?"
"Uh…" His face drops a little that I might be about to say no. "I'm not really a partier," I confess.
"How about we just show our faces for a bit then we can go do something else?"
"Okay, sure. So I'll see you Friday then?"
"Not sure I'll be able to wait that long."
"Stop," I beg, not believing it.
"You need to go before I change my mind and take you home."
"Okay, I'm going."
He drops one more chaste kiss to my lips before he releases me and I'm able to climb from the car.
